The WTF? Thread

[ursus arctos]

I noticed that as well and concluded that a professional would have told them that the whole concept was offensive as helll.

[Hot Pepsi]

Indeed. I’m sure printers and designers want the work, but not that badly.

[Wouter D]

The pictures are the worst part. They cost a fortune and take forever. Most weddings insist on doing it between the wedding and the reception which just drags it all out. If the wedding is generous enough to have an open bar, it's tolerable, but then everyone is half in the bag by dinner, which may not be so great.

We had the pictures done before the wedding, while the guests were dripping in. They could help themselves to however many welcoming drinks they desired, while we were further down the beach having photos taken. Worked rather well.

[pebblethefish]

Is the "Souvenir Champagne Goblet" a standard thing in the US? Do people have shelves of them that they can look at and reminisce? "Ooh, do you remember this one, form Ted and Kate's wedding, darling?" "Yes dear. You had the lobster" etc, etc.

Incidentally, the only wedding present I've ever given was a lucky dip lottery ticket I bought for my brother and his wife.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

There are cultures where it is customary to just give the couple straight cash. I believe it's done that way in Japan and, perhaps, some Jewish families. But it's not like this.

I went to one wedding where they asked for money (presented as being "towards their dream honeymoon") instead of gifts and put their bank account details on the invitation, saying they preferred that to people putting cash in with the cards.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

Also went to one in China where there were very clear instructions about putting a certain sum of cash per guest into individual red envelopes and they were quite formally handed over rather than chucked onto a table in the corner.

[Sporting]

In Spain it's done via bank transfer.

[Evariste Euler Gauss]

That tacky wedding menu thing is almost unbelievable. Sure, there are many obnoxious people around in western societies who judge their fellow humans by wealth and are cool with promoting the division of ever more life experiences into first, second and third class by payment. But the confusion of personal generosity and hospitality such as a wedding invitation to friends and family with a transactional approach offends one of the most fundamental and widely shared principles of social behaviour which is precisely the separation of relationships into transactional and non-transactional. Just think (assuming the card is genuine, which it may not be), the hosts - perhaps the couple, perhaps the bride's parents, must be both (a) so weird that they think that that kind of tacky shake down is morally fine and (b) so dim that they think it is socially acceptable and will not result in them looking like utter arseholes to everyone on the receiving end.

[ursus arctos]

It has become quite common for US weddings to feature some kind of "party favour" for the guests, though I can't say that I have ever received a souvenir champagne goblet. In our experience, they tend to be small things that can have the couple's names and the date imprinted. Small boxes of fancy nuts seem to be common, as do potpourris. A friend gave out wooden spoons, as her ancestral village in Slovenia is known for same.

I've never attended a wedding where guests' favoured were "tiered" in this fashion, though it is common for bridesmaids and groomsmen to be given more substantial favours as mementoes. I acquired a couple of tankards and picture frames in this way.

[WOM]

We made everyone a little stained-glass suncatcher in the shape of a heart.

[pebblethefish]

If I wanted something that would remind me of you, I would have wanted one shaped like a shed.

[S. aureus]

My wife decided books of matches (with our names and wedding date) would be a good idea. Which it might have been but for the budding arsonist kids getting hold of them mid-reception. Fortunately a responsible adult noticed this before our wedding became as famous as certain gender reveal parties.

[Hot Pepsi]

In Spain it's done via bank transfer.

That's coldly efficient.

As in so many things, we in the US want things to appear "authentic" and heartfelt, but we also want to be efficient. So we have the whole nonsense with the registry.

[Nocturnal Submission]

As has been said, weddings used to be simple affairs. My sister got married in the local church and had her reception in a pub's upstairs function room and everyone was happy. But then weddings began to become statements and the venues, food and entertainment became grander and grander. It was lovely for the guests, a real experience, but it would cost the happy couple and/or their folks an arm and a leg. I suppose that some people have now moved to the next stage of the process. As we've gone from meaningful ceremony and nice little celebration to elaborate ceremony and extravagant experience, some newlyweds are expecting to be compensated for the package provided.

[Hot Pepsi]

We had the pictures done before the wedding, while the guests were dripping in. They could help themselves to however many welcoming drinks they desired, while we were further down the beach having photos taken. Worked rather well.

In my experience, the pictures always take at least two hours to do. No idea why. In my mind, it should take 10 minutes.

[Hot Pepsi]

As has been said, weddings used to be simple affairs. My sister got married in the local church and had her reception in a pub's upstairs function room and everyone was happy. But then weddings began to become statements and the venues, food and entertainment became grander and grander. It was lovely for the guests, a real experience, but it would cost the happy couple and/or their folks an arm and a leg. I suppose that some people have now moved to the next stage of the process. As we've gone from meaningful ceremony and nice little celebration to elaborate ceremony and extravagant experience, some newlyweds are expecting to be compensated for the package provided.

Yeah. There was a "Dear Abby" a few years back that caused a stir because the Bride-to-Be was so upset that the guests didn't provide enough cash/gifts for the event to even "break even." As if that was the point.

I was under the impression that weddings were much less common in Europe than in the US. Maybe not so much in the UK. Conservatives often decry how "socialism" has led to all kinds of sins and licentiousness in Europe, including so many unwed couples living together. However, I read a little while ago that kids in Europe are more likely to live with both of their parents than in the US.

[WOM]

If I wanted something that would remind me of you, I would have wanted one shaped like a shed.

I wasn't even a homeowner in '99, much less a shed owner. No, that was back when all I had in my heart was love, not practical storage solutions.

[WOM]

We got married in L's parents' backyard. 45 people. Then we went to a local golf course for the dinner / dance. Photos were taken on-site, so people didn't have to kill 4 hours between the ceremony and the reception.

[Hot Pepsi]

It has become quite common for US weddings to feature some kind of "party favour" for the guests, though I can't say that I have ever received a souvenir champagne goblet. In our experience, they tend to be small things that can have the couple's names and the date imprinted. Small boxes of fancy nuts seem to be common, as do potpourris. A friend gave out wooden spoons, as her ancestral village in Slovenia is known for same.

I've never attended a wedding where guests' favoured were "tiered" in this fashion, though it is common for bridesmaids and groomsmen to be given more substantial favours as mementoes. I acquired a couple of tankards and picture frames in this way.

I have a monogrammed money clip, somewhere. I think I got that from my brother. Another friend gave me this little leather thing that's supposed to sit on a dresser and hold coins and cufflinks, I guess. I don't own any cufflinks. That friend of mine who got married in the rain gave everyone very nice umbrellas - to be used at the wedding. That turned out well, actually. I still have it and it's the best umbrella I have.

[Hot Pepsi]

We got married in L's parents' backyard. 45 people. Then we went to a local golf course for the dinner / dance. Photos were taken on-site, so people didn't have to kill 4 hours between the ceremony and the reception.

That's ideal.

[Nocturnal Submission]

I got married in WOM's backyard, figuratively-speaking. We then went to a local park for the photographs (long but bearable) though, as the photographer was a bit useless, we didn't actually get them for ages.

Our evening reception was on a boat which floated around on Lake Ontario for a few hours. I asked my mum if she was enjoying herself and she said it was magical which pretty much made every penny spent worthwhile.

When we got off the boat we walked to our hotel, my wife in her wedding dress and me in a morning suit, handing out pieces of our wedding cake to passers-by.

[Wouter D]

In my experience, the pictures always take at least two hours to do. No idea why. In my mind, it should take 10 minutes.

Yeah, that sounds about right. We started taking pictures around 1PM, guests had been invited to walk in from 2PM, and the wedding proper started at 3PM.

Photos of the couple, photos of the bride, photos of the groom, photos with the parents, photos with the witnesses, photos with individual friend groups, it adds up. Most of it is non-essential, obviously, but you can easily spend quite a bit of time on this.

[Wouter D]

Our evening reception was on a boat which floated around on Lake Ontario for a few hours. I asked my mum if she was enjoying herself and she said it was magical which pretty much made every penny spent worthwhile.

When we got off the boat we walked to our hotel, my wife in her wedding dress and me in a morning suit, handing out pieces of our wedding cake to passers-by.

That sounds excellent.

[WOM]

I got married in WOM's backyard, figuratively-speaking. We then went to a local park for the photographs (long but bearable) though, as the photographer was a bit useless, we didn't actually get them for ages.

Our evening reception was on a boat which floated around on Lake Ontario for a few hours. I asked my mum if she was enjoying herself and she said it was magical which pretty much made every penny spent worthwhile.

When we got off the boat we walked to our hotel, my wife in her wedding dress and me in a morning suit, handing out pieces of our wedding cake to passers-by.

Do you remember which park you had your photos taken in?

The day sounds lovely, btw. What year was this?

[Hot Pepsi]

Yeah, that sounds about right. We started taking pictures around 1PM, guests had been invited to walk in from 2PM, and the wedding proper started at 3PM.

Photos of the couple, photos of the bride, photos of the groom, photos with the parents, photos with the witnesses, photos with individual friend groups, it adds up. Most of it is non-essential, obviously, but you can easily spend quite a bit of time on this.

The only wedding I went to that did it that way was my cousin in Iowa City in 1993. That marriage didn't last long, so I've always imagined that it was because they broke the taboo of letting the groom saw the bride before the wedding. That was also the only reception I've been to where some of the guests really made asses of themselves. My uncle was pissed.

That was not the reason the marriage didn't last. At all.