The WTF? Thread

[Amor de Cosmos]

First marriage: Bride's family and a couple of friends each. Behind the waterfall in Vancouver Law Courts (which was nice.) Then back to our place for a piss-up. Second marriage: Hitchin Registry Office. Immediate family of bride and groom (and a couple of strays) only. La Signora was in hospital at the time, so they'd only let her out on day release. No reception, but we did have a big party for friends a few days later.

[Hot Pepsi]

For those who got married outside, what was your plan B in case of rain?

I couldn't handle the stress of hosting an event with such a major uncontrollable variable.

The one wedding I've been to that got "rained out" had to move inside the venue. It was fine, but the inside option was too small for everyone so a lot of people couldn't really see what was going on up front. Not that it really matters. There wasn't anything unusual about the ceremony. The reception was fine. The marriage lasted 10 years. Again, luck had nothing to do with it.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Do you remember which park you had your photos taken in?

The day sounds lovely, btw. What year was this?

Excellent question. After a fair bit of rooting around on Google Maps I think that it was Alexander Muir Memorial Gardens.

It was. It was certainly incident-packed, (for a start, I wasn't expecting to have to take a circuitous route to a church in Toronto because India and Pakistan were playing a cricket match nearby and the police feared public disorder)! 1997.

[Hot Pepsi]

First marriage: Bride's family and a couple of friends each. Behind the waterfall in Vancouver Law Courts (which was nice.) Then back to our place for a piss-up. Second marriage: Hitchin Registry Office. Immediate family of bride and groom (and a couple of strays) only. La Signora was in hospital at the time, so they'd only let her out on day release. No reception, but we did have a big party for friends a few days later.

That sounds great. Not that she was in the hospital, but that you could work that out.

[WOM]

Excellent question. After a fair bit of rooting around on Google Maps I think that it was Alexander Muir Memorial Gardens.

Ah, lovely. Yeah, big stone backdrop with stairs and that for photos. I used to work just south of there, and drove through the park daily (well, Yonge Street bisects it).

[ursus arctos]

We considered an outdoor wedding, but opted for doing it in a church, partly because the unpredictability of Northern California coastal weather in November and partly to appease familial preferences.

I've been to at least two weddings where outdoor ceremonies were moved inside due to torrential thunderstorms. In both cases, they were moved to interior spaces that had been booked for the reception.

[S. aureus]

That was also the only reception I've been to where some of the guests really made asses of themselves. My uncle was pissed.

This is one of those times where differing uses of the phrase "x was pissed" on either side of the Atlantic radically change the meaning, and is not immediately apparent from context.

[WOM]

For those who got married outside, what was your plan B in case of rain?

None at all. We woke to rain and cold, but it broke around noon and turned beautiful.

We went to an outdoor wedding in late October / early November once that was cold and everyone sat in the rain in wet plastic chairs. It was awful.

[Sporting]

If I wanted something that would remind me of you, I would have wanted one shaped like a shed.

And as a reminder of you, a curtain-shaped something.

[Hot Pepsi]

This is one of those times where differing uses of the phrase "x was pissed" on either side of the Atlantic radically change the meaning, and is not immediately apparent from context.

Sorry! I should have thought of that.

He was very frustrated.

[ursus arctos]

I was sort of hoping that he satisfied the definitions on both sides of the pond.

[WOM]

And as a reminder of you, a curtain-shaped something.

A big expanse of reddish-orange with a puff of smoke in the middle.

[San Bernardhinault]

Our wedding was in South Africa and tiny. Expensive for other people to get to - and that was kind of the point. We didn't want a big song and dance, didn't want big crowds, didn't want the distant family. It was outdoors, and pretty much guaranteed good weather. If the weather had turned, there was just enough indoor space in the hotel where we had it, but the risk was very low.

To sort-of-compensate we had a second "celebration" in a pub garden in England in August. There was more risk of bad weather, but the option of heading inside was there.

On the wedding present front, I never wanted any of them, and my family somehow never went to weddings when I was young, so I had no idea what the expectations were. Therefore, for the longest time I was super-cheap about my wedding presents. I genuinely thought that people paid to host their wedding because they wanted to invite people to a big party and there was no expectation of anything. And I thought that wedding lists were sort of lame suggestion sheets and the right thing to do was find something fun to take. I didn't realise that people actually furnished their homes on the basis of their wedding gifts. I think I may have become less-invited to a number of weddings as a result of my lack of understanding. I still think nobody over the age of 30 should expect any wedding presents.

[Sporting]

I still think nobody over the age of 30 should expect any wedding presents.

Except the royal family.

[Amor de Cosmos]

That sounds great. Not that she was in the hospital, but that you could work that out.

It was. Massive props to her doctors and the NHS.

[ursus arctos]

I had a colleague describe her wedding as "tiny", only to find out that they had more guests than we did (60).

Expectations can vary widely in this respect.

[Amor de Cosmos]

La Signora's nephew in Bedfordshire got married at the weekend. They were limited to thirty guests. So they had a party for another thirty the following day, and will have one for another thirty next weekend.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

The only wedding I went to that did it that way was my cousin in Iowa City in 1993. That marriage didn't last long, so I've always imagined that it was because they broke the taboo of letting the groom saw the bride before the wedding. That was also the only reception I've been to where some of the guests really made asses of themselves. My uncle was pissed.

That was not the reason the marriage didn't last. At all.

One of my friends missed a match for a wedding last year, and when I saw him at the next match, making conversation I asked how it went and he reported it had descended into actual fist fighting between family members (not him) and the police were called out to break it up and arrests were made. A few days later I was on a train with a work colleague and was telling the story and she said "hmm, that sounds a lot like my wedding", and went on describe it, involving herself nearly getting arrested in her wedding dress. Each of these events took place in quite well appointed Lake District venues.

[Hot Pepsi]

I was sort of hoping that he satisfied the definitions on both sides of the pond.

He drove me from the wedding venue to where we were staying, so I just remember his frustration and concern that he could be sued if one of the jackasses at the wedding caused a road accident or some such.

[Hot Pepsi]

One of my friends missed a match for a wedding last year, and when I saw him at the next match, making conversation I asked how it went and he reported it had descended into actual fist fighting between family members (not him) and the police were called out to break it up and arrests were made. A few days later I was on a train with a work colleague and was telling the story and she said "hmm, that sounds a lot like my wedding", and went on describe it, involving herself nearly getting arrested in her wedding dress. Each of these events took place in quite well appointed Lake District venues.

I recall hearing about a wedding near here where both the mother of the bride and mother of the groom ended up in jail for fighting. I can recall the guy telling the story was the owner of the local shop that rented tuxedos, so he'd been involved in a lot of weddings and told the story in a "oh yeah, that happens a lot" sort of tone.

[Hot Pepsi]

Our wedding was in South Africa and tiny. Expensive for other people to get to - and that was kind of the point. We didn't want a big song and dance, didn't want big crowds, didn't want the distant family. It was outdoors, and pretty much guaranteed good weather. If the weather had turned, there was just enough indoor space in the hotel where we had it, but the risk was very low.

To sort-of-compensate we had a second "celebration" in a pub garden in England in August. There was more risk of bad weather, but the option of heading inside was there.

On the wedding present front, I never wanted any of them, and my family somehow never went to weddings when I was young, so I had no idea what the expectations were. Therefore, for the longest time I was super-cheap about my wedding presents. I genuinely thought that people paid to host their wedding because they wanted to invite people to a big party and there was no expectation of anything. And I thought that wedding lists were sort of lame suggestion sheets and the right thing to do was find something fun to take. I didn't realise that people actually furnished their homes on the basis of their wedding gifts. I think I may have become less-invited to a number of weddings as a result of my lack of understanding. I still think nobody over the age of 30 should expect any wedding presents.

I'm convinced that a lot of consumer products - especially kitchen gadgets - wouldn't have much of a market if not for wedding registries.

[scratchmonkey]

The Miss Manners book on weddings is excellent, especially because it leads with a "in MY day" section in which the author points out that weddings used to involve just the nearest and dearest, that everybody, including the people getting married, just wore the best clothes that they already owned, that the reception usually took place in the rec room/basement of the church where the ceremony was, that it was usually pot-luck, and any gifts were thoughtful and unexpected.

I was married in my wife's aunt and uncle's backyard, in August, which was pretty much a 0% chance of rain in the Bay Area. I don't think we even had a backup plan. We did the photos before the guests were supposed to show up and it took about 20 minutes, since it was just us, our siblings, and our parents that were part of them. The best of the lot were two pictures, one with me dipping her, and then one with her dipping me. The best part about it was since we were determined to do an actual dance for the first dance (set to 'My Love' by Little Willie John), we took dance lessons with an ex-backup dancer for Tina Turner.

ETA: We had an open bar that was available directly after the (15-minute tops) ceremony. Just beer and wine, although that was enough to send a good friend's current girlfriend ass-over-teakettle down a sloped section of the yard. He apparently had to pull over twice for her to puke on the side of the road on the drive back as well.

[Hot Pepsi]

I haven't been to a chill wedding like that, but maybe I will. It sounds like a lovely time. I have a few friends who are divorced but will likely get married again. I imagine they might go for something like that, but I don't know if I'll make the cut for the small guest list.

I cannot imagine a sane woman over 40, especially ones that already had a wedding, saying "THIS IS MY SPECIAL DAY THAT I'VE DREAMED ABOUT SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL! I'M A PRINCESSSSSSS!!" Of course, men can be like that too, but it seems like most of the WIC marketing is targeted at the bride, so I'm going to assume that the bride and/or her family is usually the one driving the budget and, based on discussions with friends of mine, that is usually the case. Although, in some cases, it seems like the wedding is planned like a UN meeting, because there are about 45 different "stakeholders" whose feelings must be taken into account. Those are the ones where there are four different kinds of clergy involved in the ceremony, etc.

And I'm assuming we're talking about a marriage between people identifying as opposite genders. I cannot comment on same-gender weddings. I've never been to one, as it turns out or been close to anyone planning one.

Somehow, "BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE CLASSSSEEEEEE" is still accepted as a reason to go into debt. Insofar as that's what the bride wants, it may seem like it's somehow "pro woman" or feminist, but it isn't at all. It's just a throwback to a culture where men spent a lot of money on trivial stuff for women in the hope that they'd just do what they're told on the "important" issues.

[ad hoc]

We were 4 at my wedding. Well 4 1/2 as the bride was 8 months pregnant.

[scratchmonkey]

We have good friends who are a same-sex couple and they've had I believe four different ceremonies (two courthouse, two for a larger group) as a result of the shifting legality of their marriage over the years in CA. I got to be the officiant at the one that 'stuck' legally, and did the ceremony holding the same leather-bound Dungeon Master's Guide used by one of the grooms when he was the officiant at my wedding. We also did it right next to the Pacific as the tide was coming in, I had to hurry things along as my feet were getting wet at the end.