If there was a mass OTF fight

[Toby Gymshorts]

If there was a mass OTF fight

I read everyone's posts in the voice of Donald (or Davey) Stott.

[treibeis]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Fussbudget wrote: I have no idea what he actually sounds like, but I've always read all his posts in that voice.

I know what you mean. My Calvert-voice-in-my-head is that of a former Belfast-born flatmate of mine. He used to frighten me to death. Even when he'd say, "Good morning", I'd hear "GOOD FUCKING MORNING!", even though he didn't have a particularly loud voice and rarely swore.

[EIM]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Fussbudget wrote:

Calvert doesn't have an accent.

There is no such thing as not having an accent, surely?

I have no idea what he actually sounds like, but I've always read all his posts in that voice.

I go Jim McDonald:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbXsRGrX0E8

[treibeis]

If there was a mass OTF fight

WOM wrote: I sometimes read treibeis' posts in the wrong accent before remembering he's not one of the locals.

As I've spent more time here than in Britain, I could actually be classed as one of the locals.

My accent, on the other hand, couldn't. I still sound more like this gentleman (who grew up on the same estate as I did) than I'd like to.

[MsD]

If there was a mass OTF fight

EIM wrote:
I go Jim McDonald:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbXsRGrX0E8

... so you do.

[EIM]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Lend us one of them thumbs, will you?

[AMMS]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Is Calvert from Belfast or from the countryside in Northern Ireland? People from the countryside in NI all sound like they have learning difficulties and you just want to give them a cuddle and point them to the nearest soft play area even though some of them turn out to be truly evil fuckers.

Some people from Belfast can sound a little intimidating until they mention their maternal parent who they all call 'mummy' and the illusion of hardness melts instantly.

[Toby Gymshorts]

If there was a mass OTF fight

EIM is, of course, merely tyring to deflect attention from the fact that not only has he posted on one of the threads he decries, he's also in love with a fascist.

[Sits]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Smallcaps wrote:

The X11 crowd would have to have an internal debate as to the ethics of employing the 'bruise' function before wading in.

An in-joke there. Inclusive.

Watch it, mister, before we go very offensive on you and hammer home some long range shots.

We also bring Hulks.

[dalliance]

If there was a mass OTF fight

[quote]EIM wrote: [quote=Fussbudget ]

I
I reckon dalliance would be a terrible person to fight. I know he's only about 4'7, but I imagine he's violent. And relentless. Bloody relentless.

I'm 5ft 10 you lanky Manky streak.

[EIM]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Toby Gymshorts wrote: EIM is, of course, merely tyring to deflect attention from the fact that not only has he posted on one of the threads he decries, he's also in love with a fascist.

2009, mate. I was about 17 then or something.

[Fussbudget]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Toby Gymshorts wrote: I read everyone's posts in the voice of Donald (or Davey) Stott.

Thanks, I've just tried that and it definitely improves the OTF-reading experience massively.

[Toby Gymshorts]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Good job it wasn't 18 rated then, or we'd have had to add that to your rap sheet.

EDIT: To EIM, obvs.

[EIM]

If there was a mass OTF fight

This is doing wonders for my badboy rep, Tobes.

edit - The errant apostrophe was a step too far, however.

[Toby Gymshorts]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Always a pleasure.

[dalliance]

If there was a mass OTF fight

While Calvert doesn't sound exactly like Ian Paisley / Jim McDonald / Sam Neill in Peaky Blinders, he does have what I might term that energetic delivery common to both those first two.

[Bruno]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Recently I started an experiment of reading my own writing (actual writing, not webchat) back to myself in a southern (US) accent. Not an affected accent, just an honest unassuming drawl like what I grew up around. It seemed like a way to avoid pretentious turns of phrase, which often happen unintentionally in dense subject-matter situations.

[treibeis]

If there was a mass OTF fight

dalliance wrote: While Calvert doesn't sound exactly like Ian Paisley / Jim McDonald / Sam Neill in Peaky Blinders, he does have what I might term that energetic delivery common to both those first two.

This is why I wouldn't think Calvert's the hardest on the board. Ian Paisley and Jim McDonald used to expend so much energy when simply talking that they'd have been all out of puff before the fight started.

[Duncan Gardner]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Calvert is from inner-city Belfast, like me. Ian Paisley and Charlie Lawson/'Jim McDonald' are from well up-country. Lawson went to the poshest school in NI btw. Even outdoing my own in the up itself stakes.

My sometime childhood neighbor Ken Branagh got offside aged about nine, which is why he sounds so awkward in the 'Billy' plays according to Calv.

I sound like Bert Lynch from Z Cars.

[Toby Gymshorts]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Hardest on the board is definitely WOM. You couldn't leave the house in one of his shirts without being a bit handy.

[treibeis]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Toby Gymshorts wrote: Hardest on the board is definitely WOM. You couldn't leave the house in one of his shirts without being a bit handy.

Good point. Also, if I saw a bloke pushing fifty who was on his way to work on a longboard, I'd think, "Doesn't know the difference between right and wrong" and then make doubly sure to avoid any eye contact whatsoever.

[WOM]

If there was a mass OTF fight

Much appreciated. But I'm more like the guy you see on the metro wearing a pink tutu, cowboy hat and swim flippers; if he looks like that, best avoided. In reality, a big ol' pansy.

Mrs WOM, though, picks fights on an almost weekly basis with strangers in public. Once was at a Springsteen show when someone behind us was chit-chatting through the opening bars of Thunder Road.

[treibeis]

If there was a mass OTF fight

WOM wrote: Mrs WOM, though, picks fights on an almost weekly basis with strangers in public.

I was thinking of asking you and Mrs WOM whether you'd care to join The Lady I Walked To The Registry Office With and me for dinner the next time you're in Hamburg. I think I'll give it a miss, though: The men would spend the entire evening avoiding eye contact and the women would spend the entire evening beating the shit out of one another.

[WOM]

If there was a mass OTF fight

If I were ever within a hundred miles of Hamburg, I'd pop by the Hut unannounced. I once dropped in unannounced on somebody in Gelnhausen that I hadn't seen in a decade. But yes, Mrs WOM would end up telling someone to shut the fuck up at some point, and it could get awkward after that.

[Calvert]

If there was a mass OTF fight

FUCK THA' LAT O' YIZ!

So it is.

Etc.

Mrs Calvert reckons I slip back to West Belfast steeker mode while talking to old Westie comrades on the phone and gives me endless abuse for it.
Her da does this too, apparently. We're from the same area.
Years of living in South Belfast has mellowed my accent, though a student recently claimed that I had the broadest Belfawast accent he'd ever heard.
Saucy wee cunt.

Our guttural grunting was allegedly voted one of the sexiest accents in Europe. I can see how that'd work with some Free State accents, but definitely not ours.