X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

Hearty congratulations and a Guzman! from me.

[Various Artist]

My annus is officially mirabilis.

And as for those four and a half hours this pm – well, words fail me. That's one hell of a day Etienne, guzmans all round!

[Sits]

We need a special award for our first ever Official League title winner. Amazing work Etienne. Oh, and the Heineken, yeah.

[Sean of the Shed]

A fantastic days work Etienne. That's a strong division at the top of the Ultimate League so especially good work to rise above those. XCL awaits you next season, so good luck with that, it'll be a hectic league campaign.

[andrew7610]

Congrats on the Heineken title, Etienne

A little further down the league, my team managed to get promoted up to division 11 using the age old method of losing the match we needed something from 4-0, and then relying on two other results both going our way.

[Hot Orange]

Great achievement(s), Etienne, many congrats.

In HLC5, South Hams United missed out on a 10th consecutive divisional title by one goal. Forgetting to set tactics for the OTF derby against Lokomotiv Leiden cost me dear (and sadly didn't even help Leiden in the end).

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

And Yarra Valley Aelwyd are up to Division 7, after a must win game to overtake the 3rd place team. Mind you - I don't think he wanted to go up, as he didn't set up his team beforehand.

[Wouter D]

In HLC5, South Hams United missed out on a 10th consecutive divisional title by one goal. Forgetting to set tactics for the OTF derby against Lokomotiv Leiden cost me dear (and sadly didn't even help Leiden in the end).

I feel a bit annoyed, even though I don't really have the right to. We lost out by a single point to a team who got a new manager midway through the season. This manager proceeded to buy even more 30+-year-olds, to go with their 36-year-old keeper. Those oldies may keep them in HLC5 for one more season, but they won't get anywhere else and are just delaying the inevitable downfall in seasons to come. Meanwhile, LL are relegated thanks to this dude's short-sightedness.

The manager is perfectly within their rights to play the game this way. But as a consequence, in the end, we both lose.

[Various Artist]

I saw yesterday that HO's streak of nine straight divisional titles had been broken by one goal – despite a six-goal swing to them on the final day, after South Hams won 4-0 and their rivals lost 4-2! It must be even more galling that Hams somehow nearly nicked it after all against the odds. Hard luck mate.

[pebblethefish]

Right, it's been bugging me for years, and finally I have to ask - what the **** is "guzman" all about?

[Various Artist]

Atlantis stayed up in the Heineken Premiership by riding our luck to a 1-1 draw with 3rd-placed Black Wind, though for much of the game I thought we would lose and Sean's Methley were going to nick one against S?rk and not only survive at our expense but cost Etienne the title too. In the event, neither result played out that way, luckily for me, so we finished on 5-11-6 and the Percies on 4-11-7.

It's not even the first time Methley have gone down from the Premiership in this fashion – I recall commiserating with Sean five seasons back that they'd been relegated with fewer top-flight defeats than any other team since records began, when they also finished 10th on an even more improbable 4-12-6. Doubtless they'll bounce back equally strongly this time.

Both Sean and I drew exactly half our matches, thanks mainly to our shared propensity for an extraordinary number of home stalemates – we finished with a properly absurd combined home record of 1-17-4, he with 0-9-2 and I with 1-8-2. That '1' was against the Percies, mind, so all else being equal it kept us up...

Three teams in the division drew 11 games each, in fact, and only Sixfields Saints won as many as half their home fixtures (just – 6), but S?rk's devastating away form of 10-1-0 was streets ahead of anyone else (9 points better than next-best Saints managed) and was what made the difference for them despite a 7th-best home record of just 4-3-4!


Despite everything, Atlantis did grind out a five-match unbeaten run to finish with, and we only lost one of our last eight, which kept us up when we'd looked pretty certain for the drop before that. Coincidentally or otherwise, that one loss – a late 2-1 to Sit's Old Spots – was the only one in which senior and 'better' (38/12) goalkeeper Harald Greycloak played, and was the one that finally convinced me he had no more to offer. All the other seven featured 20/9 Magnus Barnlock, as I resigned myself to our first relegation and went to maximise his development chances. On age/skill alone he is a tremendous prospect but he's also a Moody bastard, and thus set to remain a huge liability for seasons to come or possibly forever, yet but by hook or by crook we made it.

[Various Artist]

Right, it's been bugging me for years, and finally I have to ask - what the **** is "guzman" all about?

Somebody on the boards was trying to write a post a few years back saying "Hurrah!", but either made a complete hash of typing the word or had it autocorrected, so accidentally posted it as "Guzman!".

The fact that it was such a massive yet oddly satisfying typo (it's at least a word, and a name, and a footballing name, after all, so it sounded like it ought to be alluding to some sort of feat or achievement like a "Panenka") just caught everyone's imagination, so it not only went uncorrected as a result but caught on as a wider OTF term of approbation!

[Hot Orange]

I saw yesterday that HO's streak of nine straight divisional titles had been broken by one goal – despite a six-goal swing to them on the final day, after South Hams won 4-0 and their rivals lost 4-2! It must be even more galling that Hams somehow nearly nicked it after all against the odds. Hard luck mate.

I'd given up on the title a while back, as we were some way behind Bubble Blowing Yodelers, but they had started taking it easy and had lost two in a row before the final day, giving us a chance of catching them. I thought it was likely they would lose again on the final day so I went all-out attack to try to make up the goal difference. It almost came off, but I can't be too downheartened - they were the more consistent side over the season.

[nmrfox]

Congratulations Etienne, that's a hell of an achievement to win both titles, especially an Official League one. All the best in your XCL campaign - hopefully someone will keep us all updated with your progress.

Framley Obstreperous managed a third consecutive promotion, squeaking out of HL15 thanks to a final day 3-2 win over Las Palmas, who would have pipped us to third spot if they had won.

[Hot Orange]

I feel a bit annoyed, even though I don't really have the right to. We lost out by a single point to a team who got a new manager midway through the season. This manager proceeded to buy even more 30+-year-olds, to go with their 36-year-old keeper. Those oldies may keep them in HLC5 for one more season, but they won't get anywhere else and are just delaying the inevitable downfall in seasons to come. Meanwhile, LL are relegated thanks to this dude's short-sightedness.

The manager is perfectly within their rights to play the game this way. But as a consequence, in the end, we both lose.

Yes, that sucks. Commiserations, Wouter.

I was surprised that the previous manager quit that team, as he seemed committed and was managing them well in their promotion campaign last season (when they were Crazy Hell AC). It looks like he quit X11 altogether, though.

[Etienne]

Thanks all. Just need to win the Ladies league and the Champions league then. Piece of piss.

[Granthamian]

Many congratulations Etienne. That will be some encore if you can land the Champions League.

Re “Guzman” I thought you were referring to the Mexican drug lord whose nickname was “El Chapo”. Now I think that means Shorty or something but it sounds like “Chapeau” which is the term cyclists use as a compliment for when someone does something outstanding. I have this warped mind see

[Antepli Ejderha]

Guzman to Etienne, that's some achievement.

I won away from home in the Heineken pip my hosts to the title. Division 3 next season, I started in division 19 and have been promoted every season bar one. Judging how some other teams have gone next season will be much tougher.

[Various Artist]

I've seen how you've been going AE, that's quite some rise and no mistake. Having looked at your side a day or two ago, I'm a bit too scared to challenge you to a friendly! I'm sure you'll have another great season upcoming.

[Various Artist]

Many congratulations Etienne. That will be some encore if you can land the Champions League.

Re “Guzman” I thought you were referring to the Mexican drug lord whose nickname was “El Chapo”. Now I think that means Shorty or something but it sounds like “Chapeau” which is the term cyclists use as a compliment for when someone does something outstanding. I have this warped mind see

Haha, yes if you google the word he's the first thing that tends to come up, but the nickname thing hadn't struck me. People around here do use 'chapeau' too, though (I hadn't realised it was a cycling thing but we do have a bunch of cycling fans on the boards), so that Guzman/Chapo thing is actually uncannily perfect as an alternative etymology. It clearly was meant to be!

[Various Artist]

Sorry anyone who was anticipating an OTF roundup for Monday, it just didn't happen this week. Was thinking about it off and on over the past couple of days but ended up leaving it until today after all and other things came up. Hopefully will get back in the saddle next week.

[Various Artist]

Have we got any OTFers with spare quota at the moment, by any chance? I've got one vacant slot in the Brythonnic Premiership that I need to fill temporarily to prevent the club disappearing when I run the season update. It's at none other than Nyth Wobbegong, who were founded by Foxy in 2016, then during his hiatus from X11 in 2017 were taken over by SouthdownRebel, only for Foxy to return to the game in time to retake control when SdR in turn stepped away from it. Foxy moved on again a year ago – he now manages Wripple Vetivers elsewhere in the league – but the person who succeeded him got sacked a while back and I forgot I hadn't filled the post until just now.

So if anyone can step in just to hold the reins long enough for me to get the new season started tomorrow, that would be fab. If you wish to stay on longer, that's even fabber of course!

[Sits]

So after a long hiatus I’m back in the Xpert Ladies. And now have to endure almost an entire season as... Juventus. Serves me right really as one of the “real team” slaggers-off over the years. I’ve embraced the Old Lady (so do speak) and moved them back to their old stadium, along with selecting some suitable VA Sports kits to see us through the campaign.

Anyone speak Italian? When I’m eventually allowed to rename them I want an Italian equivalent to Les Sangliers, so literally “the wild boar(s)” in the feminine. For a short while I ran a team called I Cinghiali in another (men’s) private league but no idea if this was correct. Le Cinghiale? Just Cinghiali/Cinghiale?

[Gawpus]

Have we got any OTFers with spare quota at the moment, by any chance?

My time to shine... - application in Various Artist

[Various Artist]

Brilliant, thanks a bunch Gawpus – I've been able to get the new season set up just now. Please let me know if you want me to kick you straight back out again, but otherwise feel free to collect sponsor cash, mess around with the teamsheet or whatever else you want to in the meantime. If you don't want to even have to log in to the team though I can give you the boot immediately as I'm done and dusted with the season update.