Philandophilia: England in South Africa 2019-20

[Etienne]

Not as much as Guardian readers care about piling Pelion upon Ossa certainly.

For those who can actually watch this, is Pope as good as he sounds?

[Satchmo Distel]

This series counts for the new superduper world test championship thing, but I literally don't think I've heard that mentioned once in the whole series - by commentators, players or reporters. No-one really gives a toss about it (the superduper test world championship thing), do they?

Not on the Cricinfo OBO that I follow. E10 would know about the Grauniad one. Clearly the format is bollocks and inferior to the rankings that already exist. Root during the week set his goal as getting back to "No. 1", not getting to the final of this shortened event.

[Ray de Galles]

Disappointed that South Africa's series debutant was denied a hat trick earlier as it might have prompted a 'Nortje, Nortje, very Nortje!" Shamen earworm on commentary.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Match result: England win
Chosen batter (first innings): Stokes
Chosen bowler (first innings): Curran
South Africa first innings score: 250-299
England first innings score: 350-399

Poor start there, Kev.

[Nocturnal Submission]

I must confess that I'm finding this new England tactic of scoring a substantial first innings total, with a solid opening partnership and a healthy, wagging tail, followed by effective bowling and catching, all rather unsettling.

[Nocturnal Submission]

And now SA have suffered a batting collapse.

I don't feel so good.

[Kevin S]

Well I'm kind of glad that SA are showing their awfulness in plain sight. At least that should stop the England bandwagon from getting too carried away. The Ashes this ain't.

[Gangster Octopus]

"Four-eyed".
That's a bit old school, can't remember the last time I heard someone being abused for their myopia.

About five years ago I used that as an abuse. The insult failed in that I'd forgotten that I too was wearing glasses...
.

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

George Dobell makes a compelling case for dropping Buttler.

[Antepli Ejderha]

All out for 183. To enforce the follow on or not, that is the question.

I would because it's early in the day and with a couple of wickets early doors the game could be over tonight.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

All out for 183. To enforce the follow on or not, that is the question.

I would because it's early in the day and with a couple of wickets early doors the game could be over tonight.

He's got to, surely? Even if South Africa heroically dig in, by the time they've batted to 400 in their second innings we'd still only be chasing 184 to win, or even defend for two sessions at most for the draw and the series win.

[Etienne]

He obviously won't. It's a flat pitch and you protect your bowlers.

[Satchmo Distel]

Disappointed that South Africa's series debutant was denied a hat trick earlier as it might have prompted a 'Nortje, Nortje, very Nortje!" Shamen earworm on commentary.

Or Joy Sarney.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Vernon Philander has a grade two tear to his right hamstring, very unlikely he'll bat unless there's an obvious chance to save the match.

A sad end to his international career.

[Kevin S]

Malan went with 39 on the scoreboard, and SA now 61/1 facing a target of 466. A good start but remember that the world record for a successful Test chase is 418.

Mind you, the West Indies did that with three wickets in hand and that does look like the sort of record that is there to be broken.

[Kevin S]

Scores so far on the prediction game:

Sporting: 59 so far and praying for rain
Match result: draw
Chosen batter (first innings): Root = 59 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Bess = 0 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 300-349 = 0 points

Kevin S: 17 so far and out of the running
Match result: England win
Chosen batter (first innings): Stokes = 2 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Curran = 1@15 = 15 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 350-399 = 0 points

Antepli Ejderha: 69 so far and hoping for wickets
Match result: England win
Chosen batter (first innings): Root = 59 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Broad = 0 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 400-449 = 10 points

Vicarious Thrillseeker: 66 so far and looking for a world record
Match result: SA win
Chosen batter (first innings): Crawley = 66 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Archer = 0 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points

Interesting that we all went for England players for the first innings. The top-scoring pairing was QdK (76) and either Wood or Nortje (75).

[Kevin S]

Stokes' bouncer is onto Elgar very quickly and he is gone caught and bowled. But the runs are coming quickly, with Root getting smacked around - 89/2.

[Sporting]

Scores so far on the prediction game:

Sporting: 59 so far and praying for rain
Match result: draw
Chosen batter (first innings): Root = 59 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Bess = 0 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 300-349 = 0 points

Kevin S: 17 so far and out of the running
Match result: England win
Chosen batter (first innings): Stokes = 2 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Curran = 1@15 = 15 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 350-399 = 0 points

Antepli Ejderha: 69 so far and hoping for wickets
Match result: England win
Chosen batter (first innings): Root = 59 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Broad = 0 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 400-449 = 10 points

Vicarious Thrillseeker: 66 so far and looking for a world record
Match result: SA win
Chosen batter (first innings): Crawley = 66 points
Chosen bowler (first innings): Archer = 0 points
South Africa first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points
England first innings score: 250-299 = 0 points

Interesting that we all went for England players for the first innings. The top-scoring pairing was QdK (76) and either Wood or Nortje (75).

It would have helped me a bit if I had chosen a bowler who actually played!

[Antepli Ejderha]

It would have helped me a bit if I had chosen a bowler who actually played!

It made no difference to me Sporting.

[Kevin S]

Could do with an over or two of E10 bowling jinxes at van der Dussen about now.

[Sporting]

Is he on?

[Kevin S]

Not on the OBO at the moment, no. Crumbs, South Africa are getting a boundary or more each over at the moment. Looks like your prediction (edit: of bowler) was right and the selectors were wrong...

[Etienne]

Vital wicket. This is surely one of those chases where the batting team may make you worry sometimes that they just might make it, before ultimately they don't.

[Kevin S]

Two in two overs! Fantastic.

[Satchmo Distel]

Looks like it will finish tonight. 3 wickets, 24 overs. 3-1 is the right result as South Africa have not shown up since the First Test.