Philandophilia: England in South Africa 2019-20

[diggedy derek]

A thread. Stokes on and off the field with illness, SA Cricket in disarray off the field, but De Kock batting like D'Artagnan.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Philander retiring from international cricket after this series.

[Ray de Galles]

Talksport? For fuck's sake!

As you were.

[diggedy derek]

Might be a silver lining in England not batting tonight given the illness in their ranks. Going to be tough, though. A lot will depend on the steady eddie players like Burns and Denley providing some sort of glue for the stroke players.

Great to see Curran doing so well. That said, I'd be happy to see him settle into the role of a relatively competent fourth seamer, an occasional partnership breaker with his tricky left arm angle, and concentrate on honing his batting.

[Satchmo Distel]

The series seems to taking place in a surreal context. How does either team keep focus?

[Jon]

Talksport? For fuck's sake!

As you were.

Yes, the BBC seem to be broadcasting something called the cricket social. I've just listened to it for five minutes. They're just blethering om about random subjects with occasional references to the score. Very sad.

England got south Africa out quickly this morning but have been facing a rabada and philander in devastating form. they are 27 for two but they could easily be 4 or 5 down. First bowling change - nortje and Pretorius.

[Jon]

Philander retiring from international cricket after this series.

That's crazy. His bowling figures this morning: 5 overs, 5 maidens, 1 wicket.

[Jon]

Now he's got root.

[Satchmo Distel]

South Africa will miss him badly

[Jon]

Poor from root. he got 29.

[Antepli Ejderha]

That's crazy. His bowling figures this morning: 5 overs, 5 maidens, 1 wicket.

He's conceded a run now. Must be slipping. I've never seen bowling figures like that before from an opening bowler.

[diggedy derek]

I thought Philander's figures were a misprint or something.

I remember one time in the 2009 Ashes Flintoff had vaguely similar figures of 7-2-7-2

[diggedy derek]

That last minute glance over the slips to a short ball was amazing from Stokes.

[diggedy derek]

Good 50 from Denley but then he's out. He's good, Denley, but he's doing some of the work that the great players in this team should be doing.

[diggedy derek]

Jonny Bairstow will never learn.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Philander 10-7-5-2

That's outstanding.

I presume you're referring to Bairstow being bowled again DD.

[Satchmo Distel]

Jonny Bairstow will never learn.

Why was he brought back? He's a 50 over batsman totally unsuitable to the requirements of facing this attack in a Test

[Jon]

Last two wickets - stokes and bairstow - came from nortje, who is fast and looks a real find. Curran and butter will both need to hang around now until close of play for England to have any hope of achieving parity tomorrow morning.

[Jon]

And no sooner did i type that does curran get out. England in real trouble here.

[Jon]

Now buttler's gone. I was thinking earlier on, after root got out poorly for 29, how safe is root's captaincy? if both he and England play this badly throughout the series, surely questions will be asked.

[Antepli Ejderha]

All from 142/3.

How often do England do this?

[Antepli Ejderha]

181 all out. South Africa lead by 103 with a large chunk of the evening session left. The match could be over tonight.

Philander 14.2-8-16-4
8 of those runs were two fours struck in quick succession. Great bowling and he'll be a huge loss when he retires.

[diggedy derek]

I think questions might be asked, but they'd still feel like rhetorical ones, for now.

Bairstow I think has been bowled a historically large proportion of the time. I think Pope must be sick, no? I can't believe they would have brought Bairstow back in preference to him after such a short break from the Test side. It's completely unwarranted.

[gt3]

Yes, the BBC seem to be broadcasting something called the cricket social. I've just listened to it for five minutes. They're just blethering om about random subjects with occasional references to the score. Very sad.

I quite liked it - the extended interview with Sir Peter Hain was fascinating. But yes, very sad that the closest they get to the ground are the occasional interjections from Aggers. I imagine that there is a contractual clause limiting the amount they can mention/report live per hour...

As for today's collapse, wtf? And why is Bairstow in the team? A point made much more eloquently by Diggedy Derek above.

[diggedy derek]

Three down. Now, has Archer got one of Those Spells in him?