The all-encompassing TV thread.

[Jah Womble]

My original post(s) weren't meant to be taken completely flatly, but on reflection they were a bit 'goady', sorry.

'April Fool', or something.

[elguapo4]

I can confidently say that Arsenal v Stoke in an empty stadium is the most un super SUPER SUNDAY since Sky invented that term

[tee rex]

Send in Alan Durban's clowns ...

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

I felt a bit sorry for Mane originally, the thought process behind what he is trying to do is very straight forward. He gets fouled, but he manages to keep his balance, and plans to carry on, but doesn't immediately realise that this foul is going to prevent him from getting his shot away, it takes him a split second to realise that the chance is gone, and since this is England, he's not going to get a penalty unless he falls to the ground in a pool of blood, teeth, piss and shit. He goes too late and then gets booked. The only way around this really is for referees to start giving penalties for situations where the foul doesn't knock over the player, but just robs them of control of the ball, like in the fucking rules.

Then again he's clearly a bit of a moron. he should really have been given a second yellow card, and I can't help feeling that the ref might have had a look at the first one again at half time. I don't think Jurgen klopp could believe that he was going to be able to substitute him. He said about as much afterwards.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Graham Poll on BT Sport Score reminded everyone that a handball is not an automatic yellow card. That said, given his record with yellow cards I'm not sure anyone should be listening to him.

But yes, Mane dived to try to win a penalty and then more than likely should have been sent off for an idiotic handball (notwithstanding the above comment and recognising the opportunity he denied Palace). I can only imagine that Klopp shouted the German equivalent of "PLAY TO THE FUCKING WHISTLE" at him repeatedly in the dressing room until he started to cry.

Then again it's Palace, so fuck 'em.*

*Gratuitous, blinkered comment for those that like them.

[Toby Gymshorts]

The interestingly-coiffed (a tribute to his late grandmother, apparently, what's wrong with flowers?) Aubameyang makes it two for Arsenal.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Then N'Diaye (sp?) gives away a needless penalty which Lacazette scores, denying Aubameyang a hat-trick.

Stoke could well be going down at this rate.

[elguapo4]

I think the bottom three are down,they all look hopeless

[Toby Gymshorts]

Possibly, but a couple of wins for Southampton on the back of terrible runs from Palace and Huddersfield could see some places swapped. There are a lot of underperforming teams in that bottom 6 or 7 (or 10, if you're being uncharitable).

[Toby Gymshorts]

A very good cross and a slight howler from Lloris gives Morata a decent header into the bottom corner for 1-0.

Expect this one to get a bit more feisty from here on in.

[Satchmo Distel]

I'm surprised Spurs are only 2 points above Chelsea because my impression has been they were a much better side for most of the season. Perhaps Spurs' European run took more out of them, comparatively, or they just make more defensive howlers in games they should win?

I'd rather see Spurs in the Champions League than Chelsea; the entertainment value of their their Champions League games this season being a case in point. Chelsea having to do the Thursday night grind would be funnier.

[Gerontophile]

Well, that was nice.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Fucking, hell, Eriksen! Caballero has football pie all over his shirt.

[Satchmo Distel]

It went at some pace but Caballero just stood there, like Syd Little.

[Diable Rouge]

Possibly, but a couple of wins for Southampton on the back of terrible runs from Palace and Huddersfield could see some places swapped. There are a lot of underperforming teams in that bottom 6 or 7 (or 10, if you're being uncharitable).

Huddersfield's run-in is reminiscent of Norwich's a few seasons back.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Dele Alli is a lot of things (let's not start again) but he is a great finisher when he's on his game. First touch to kill it, second to finish. Great goal.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Followed up by a scrappy one to make it 1-3. Scenes.

[Diable Rouge]

Given the last win was the day before Mandela's release, the consequent wait has been longer than his prison term.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Huddersfield's run-in is reminiscent of Norwich's a few seasons back.

Southampton have a similar run in. Their rearranged game against Swansea looks critical for them.

[Jah Womble]

Dele Alli is a lot of things (let's not start again) but he is a great finisher when he's on his game. First touch to kill it, second to finish. Great goal.

He had a great second half, doing what he should have been doing all season. (Lately Alli seems to be swapping 'decent' shifts with Sonny, who today had a bit of a stinker, all told.)

But, you know, a pretty great day all round - for all kinds of reasons...

[Toby Gymshorts]

Ha. Get a lot of chocolate eggs, did you?

How long before Conte gets the push?

[Jah Womble]

Ha. Get a lot of chocolate eggs, did you?

'Spiritual' chocolate eggs, perhaps. Cannot remember the last time somebody bought me one.

'Chocolate egg', that is.

[Satchmo Distel]

Without putting the mockers on, that should condemn Chelsea to Thursday night football.

IIRC Chelsea were the only Top 6 club left who had never had to do the Thursday night shift (either as Europa League qualifiers as parachuted from 3rd in their CL group).

[Jah Womble]

Sure they did - they won the blessed thing in 2013...

[Satchmo Distel]

Shit, sorry. That's how much it means to me.