This week's gloriously shitty movie: Chopping Mall. Basically ED-209 as a mallcop, but with no budget and an even sleazier sensibility than Verhoeven. It features no chopping, psychotic robot security guards, gratuitous nudity and head explosions, truly astonishing amounts of screaming, some of the most comical yet horrific death scenes ever put on film, and a plot that makes seven kinds of no sense. Also what HDTGM justifiably described as the worst line of all time: "It's not you, Ferdy. I'm just not used to be chased around a mall in the middle of the night by killer robots."
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James Franco is making/has made a film called The Disaster Artist about the making of The Room, based on the book by one of the guys who worked on it. I haven't seen The Room, but from everything I can learn about it, it sounds like the cult following it has gained amounts to another example of people gawking at the mentally ill for entertainment.Comment
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I've been trying for a while to track down a somewhat notorious (i.e. shit) British film from the 60s called Gonks Go Beat.
Aside from a ridiculous plot, it features Lulu, the Nashville Teens and the Graham Bond Organisation, featuring the young Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker.
Trailer is here. Problem is I neither want to pay for it nor download torrents.Comment
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You are the second person to mention that recently. The other was a Twitter thread in my timeline.
I think it popped up on Talking Pictures TV a while ago.Comment
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i was always curious why Frank Thornton, Kenneth Connor, Arthur Mullard and Terry Scott were cast in a swinging youth film. It's also one of those mythical films that pretty much no one has seen, although there are snippets of it on YouTube.Originally posted by Snake Plissken View PostComment
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London Live screened Not Now Darling last weekend. It's a dated, predictable farce with alarmingly sexist overtones but, I dunno, there was something weirdly enjoyable about it. Product of its time, I suppose.Comment
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London Live and The Horror Channel knock the socks off their rivals when it comes to unearthing interesting obscurities.Comment
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I watched Star Wars Episode 2 tonight while ironing and can confirm that it's worse than Episode 1.Comment
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I wasn't sure if my memory was playing tricks on me. But no. It was dreck.
The worst thing about it is the dialogue. Although the CGI is really showing its age. (But then it is 15 years old!)Comment
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The second one had good set pieces I remember, but then there was Christopher Lee wandering over from exactly the same role in Lord of the Rings, and the fucking Senate procedural scenes. The kind of explain all the minutiae and forget it's a film to entertain us that's like something an annoying bright but dull introverted 11 year old might write. Was this the one with the ridiculous 50's NY robo Diner?Comment
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Is Kingdom of the Crystal Skull worthy of this thread, or is it just boringly bad? I know that fridge scene is notorious. It's on iPlayer and I'm wondering if it would be a complete waste of my time to watch it.Comment
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It is a waste of time. It's dull and when it isn't dull, it's bad.
[spoiler]
Not least because of the ending. The first three are basically "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it". The fourth is "it isn't going to be that... surely it isn't going to be that... yup. It's that."
[/spoiler]Last edited by Snake Plissken; 01-08-2017, 13:24.Comment
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Good god no. I've never understood why people get so hung up on the fridge scene when the rest of the film is so utterly awful.Originally posted by Ginger Yellow View Post
For one thing, how can such a big budget film have CG worse than computer games from 10 years earlier?Comment
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I'm probably slightly biased against it as I went to see it as part of my 35th birthday celebrations (it was released a few days before my birthday), having failed to learn my lesson from "The Phantom Menace" et al, I was massively excited and I really tried to like it, how ever when it got to that scene with the cartoon monkeys swinging through the trees in what looked like a deleted scene from a Disney Tarzan animated film, I gave up. I'm not sure I even really remember the last third of the film.Originally posted by Hot Pepsi View PostComment
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It's okay as a time-passer (and it has its moments), but considering the talents involved it's an extraordinarily flaccid adventure, and the script is pretty weak. That said, I'd watch it again over the supremely annoying Temple of Doom any day.
I wish I could put Kong: Skull Island into the 'favourite awful film' category, but I can't on account of it being truly shite. A bad B-pic on a large budget is a tortuous experience. It comes off as a long, expensive trailer hamstrung by a script that should've been flung into the nearest skip.Comment
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I quite like that bit. It's an oasis of what could be normal life in a busy Galaxy.Originally posted by Lang Spoon View Post
Anyway I watched Episode 3 while ironing last night and that was less of a turd than I thought. Anakin still turns to the dark side waaaaaaay too fast and Order 66 seems a nonsense and the dialogue is still garbage but it was better than Episode 2.
Not sure now if I should go buy Rogue One or just go straight into proper Star Wars with the next batch of ironing.Comment
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Really? I liked it. The script isn't anything to write home about, but the monsters were well-made and Brie Larson looks good in it.Originally posted by ian.64 View PostComment
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It's a bit of a mess, to be honest, with lots of flash-and-bang trying to hide a ramshackle structure where someone probably just thought 'what the hell, let's chuck anything at them'. I love a bit of dumb escapism just as much as anyone else, but this was just wearying bollocks that wasted a lot of talent.Comment
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Just to get back to the thread's purpose (and if anyone hasn't chosen it yet), I've a cloddish liking for Robocop 2. Blood and guts, swearing criminal children, ace old-school stop-motion animation, and a music score that doesn't know if it's in the right movie but goes bonkers anyway. Good, scuzzy fun that's all over the shop in an enjoyable way. Directed by the man who helmed The Empire Strikes Back, no less!Comment
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I love Robocop so much, I've refused to watch Robocop 2 in case it sullied the memory.Originally posted by ian.64 View PostComment
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Robocop 2 is a fucking masterpiece compared to 3 - a glorified TV movie that doesn't star Weller and with it being made in the mid-90s has a pointless computer "whizkid" subplot.Comment
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Robocop 2 is fine. It's dumb as hell, and obviously not the masterpiece that Robocop is, but for what it is, it's better than most.Comment
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With the news that Event Horizon is on Amazon Prime, this may be a candidate for this thread. In the right mood, the right moment, it's really good and scary. And other bits are just rubbish.Comment
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That's Sam Neil and the spaceship that's been to hell... and back! no? If that's the one then yeah. Fetid cheese, but lots of people love that sort of thing. It's still better than that Danny Boyle Suuunshiiine thing though. The last half hour of that wasn't even entertainingly bad.Comment
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