The canon of old Anglo-Saxon saints alone is a treasure of crazy names. Add the Celt gang and the odd continental, and you'll never be short of monikers which are unlikely to rival the ubiquity of Johns and Philips.
Audifax (feast day January 19) is a brilliant name. If I was a frequent username changer, I'd go for St Audifax.
Alfwold
Alphege
Balred
Clotilda
Cleowulf
Drithelm
Derfal Gadarn
Dunstan
Edburga
Elfleda
Erconwald
Fridolin
Godehard
Heldrad
Hermenegild
Idesbald
Jarlath
Liafwine
Maimbod
Mustiola
Nymphodora
Otteran (patron saint of Popbitch)
Outril
Poppo
Publia
Rock (presumably Poppo's brother)
Rombaut
Sexburga (oh yes!)
Smaragdus
Sunniva
Swithbert
Symmachus (an early pope. Great name)
Syncletica
Tatto
Telemachus
Tibba
Tudwal
Tyrannio (good name for a Brazilian defender)
Ultan
Uncumber (alias Wilgefortis)
Vaast
Vigor
Vulflagius (alias Wulphy)
Wandrille
Wigbert (Hedwig's patron saint)
Willigis
Wiro
Woolo
Xystus
Zosimus
For a while, when I lived in Finsbury Park, I used to get a train from Kings Cross rather than the tube, so I knew all the times of the trains. Wanting a piss, I got on a train with a toilet which I knew wasn't going to stop at Finsbury Park, but also knowing that I'd have time for a piss before it set off.
I was wrong. Ensconced happily in the toilet, to my horror I heard the beep to indicate that the train's doors were about to close. Sadly I was in full flow so I couldn't move until after the doors had shut. And the train had set off.
"Bugger", I thought as I went and sat down, watching Finsbury Park station flash past. "I'm off to Stevenage".
I was wrong. As we approached Stevenage, I stood up, and a bloke asked "Oh, are we stopping at Stevenage tonight?".
"Bugger", I thought as I sat down again, watching Stevenage flash past. And Hitchin. And Biggleswade. "Where the fuck am I going?".
The answer was St. Neots. The three minutes past seven train from Kings Cross apparently was fast to St. Neots. I got home at about nine o'clock with the worst excuse for being late that I've ever heard of...
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