National anthems boiled down

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

"God Save The King/Queen" isn't, really, a plea to a deity to save the life of our monarch, is it. It's actually a pledge of allegiance to whoever's on the throne to ensure they throw their resources (like, er, their personally-funded army) behind whatever fearful threats might befall us, like Dutch pirates sailing up the Thames or French armies tunnelling into Sussex. Or, you know, the rebellious Scots.

Whose other anthems really don't have any relevance to the modern world? (I'm looking at you, America, and tapping my foot impatiently, but it's not for me to comment)

[Hugh Fatbastard]

National anthems boiled down

Oh Canada ! isn't that far out of date, but there is some mongering to replace 'in all thy sons command' with 'in all of us command'.

For the most part I don't think the majority are particularly bothered, and it usually only pops up when some middling politician wants some exposure.

and yeah... America... we're waiting...

[Diable Rouge]

National anthems boiled down

I suspect the Swiss Guards would defeat the Irish army in an average war, the warrior spirit having dimmed considerably since Amhrán na bhFiann was written.

[Eggchaser]

National anthems boiled down

I enjoy those with insane percussionists banging away over a brass section, especially when accompanied by a call to slaughter the people from the country next door, or at least to fight to the last like the Home Guard on crack.

[Bizarre Löw Triangle]

National anthems boiled down

Mae hen wlad fy nhadau is good, if only for its low expectations - the final line being "may the old language endure".

Poland's anthem goes along similar lines - it's called Poland Has Not Yet Perished.

I guess it's cos they are or were submerged nations - less glorification, more doggedly clinging to something intangible.

[G-Man]

National anthems boiled down

The French anthem, with all its blood and gore, probably stands in some conflict with modern international law. Certainly the brand of Americans who think the French are cowards -- and not intelligent for having declined to join the invasion of Iraq -- would be surprised to know of France's lust for blood.

If you chuck in some Norse mythology and a line about your worthless ex-girlfriend, and you'll have real death metal stuff.

Listen to the sound in the fields
The howling of these fearsome soldiers
They are coming into our midst
To cut the throats of your sons and consorts

[Haddock]

National anthems boiled down

The Japanese national anthem wishes for a reign of either one thousand or eight thousand generations for the emperor. It doesn't spell out what the incumbents have to do to qualify for the extra seven thousand of those generations.

[treibeis]

National anthems boiled down

Although it's aged quite well, the German national anthem really ought to do something about the line ... sind des Glückes Unterpfand.

Maybe I'm just too down with the kids, but I've never heard anybody say Unterpfand except when they're singing the national anthem (not that anybody I know is familiar enough with the text to get that far anyway).

I reckon August Heinrich Hoffmann needed a three-syllable word that scanned and rhymed with Land and didn't fancy a line with the word Elefant in it.

[G-Man]

National anthems boiled down

Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit
für das deutsche Vaterland!
Danach lasst uns alle streben
brüderlich mit Herz und Hand!
Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit
Angela Merkel is a cunt:
Blüh im Glanze dieses Glückes,
blühe, deutsches Vaterland!

Fixed it for Hoffmann, with the now obligatory insertion of English phrases for that modern vibe wonach wir alle streben.

[treibeis]

National anthems boiled down

G-Man wrote: Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit
für das deutsche Vaterland!
Danach lasst uns alle streben
brüderlich mit Herz und Hand!
Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit
Angela Merkel is a cunt:
Blüh im Glanze dieses Glückes,
blühe, deutsches Vaterland!

Fixed it for Hoffmann, with the now obligatory insertion of English phrases for that modern vibe wonach wir alle streben.

An alternative might be an die Wand.

[ursus arctos]

National anthems boiled down

The U.S. one is the usual gingoistic nonsense, and rather unsingable, but it's miles better than God Bless America, which is becoming increasingly ubiquitous at sporting events here.

[Toby Gymshorts]

National anthems boiled down

The best thing about the Star Spangled Banner is that people are usually fooled into beginning in a much higher key than they normally would, ensuring that the climax is hilarious.

[treibeis]

National anthems boiled down

The Lady I Walked To The Registry Office’s pillow talk often consists of the chorus to the Hamburg Hymn: Heil über dir, Heil über dir / Hammonia, Hammonia! / O wie so herrlich stehst du da.

Works a treat, it really does.

[Southport Zeb]

National anthems boiled down

Haddock wrote: The Japanese national anthem wishes for a reign of either one thousand or eight thousand generations for the emperor. It doesn't spell out what the incumbents have to do to qualify for the extra seven thousand of those generations.

They don't seem to understand the process of weathering either, as it wants his reign to last as long as it takes for pebbles to grow into boulders.

[Geoffrey de Ste. Croix]

National anthems boiled down

The Dutch national anthem, Het Wilhelmus is a fifteen stanza interior monologue featuring William of Orange (not that one, Irish OTFers) psyching himself up to kick Spanish arses out of the lowlands. Probably singing it whilst gazing intensely into a mirror as he’s donning his armour.

Sort of like that bit at the end of Raging Bull when De Niro does LaMotta doing Brando in On The Waterfront to boost his confidence before meeting his audience in whatever low rent comedy dive he’s found himself washed up in. Except with pikes, muskets and an eighty years war to look forward to.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

National anthems boiled down

what about the german national anthem defining the borders of Germany as being forty days horse ride in every direction from wherever you happen to be at any time. what is a neighbour to make of an anthem that sets the borders of germany as being the belgian coastline, the north of denmark, the adriatic coastline, and the forest of Belarus.

[Logan Mountstuart]

National anthems boiled down

I love the way they sing that, while they think the King of Spain is ok, they would just prefer it if the rest of the Spanish just buggered off. The usual pragmatism, even 400 years ago.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

National anthems boiled down

Paul Culloty wrote: I suspect the Swiss Guards would defeat the Irish army in an average war, the warrior spirit having dimmed considerably since Amhrán na bhFiann was written.

the point of amhrain na bhfiann isn't about winning, it's about giving it a jolly good go, while probably dying in the process

[Alderman Barnes]

National anthems boiled down

The Awesome Berbaslug!!! wrote: what about the german national anthem defining the borders of Germany as being forty days horse ride in every direction from wherever you happen to be at any time. what is a neighbour to make of an anthem that sets the borders of germany as being the belgian coastline, the north of denmark, the adriatic coastline, and the forest of Belarus.

It's good for your geography, but you might get into some bother if you tried belting out those bits these days.

[Moonlight Shadow]

National anthems boiled down

Ours is all about sunny mornings on the mountains...

[Alderman Barnes]

National anthems boiled down

From the ruins risen newly,
To the future turned, we stand.
Let us serve your good weal truly,
Germany, our fatherland.
Triumph over bygone sorrow,
Can in unity be won.
For we shall attain a morrow,
When over our Germany,
There is radiant sun,
There is radiant sun.

May both peace and joy inspire,
Germany, our fatherland.
Peace is all the world's desire,
To the peoples lend your hand.
In fraternity united,
We shall crush the people's foe.
Let all paths by peace be lighted,
That no mother shall again
Mourn her son in woe,
Mourn her son in woe.

Let us plough and build our nation,
Learn and work as never yet,
That a free new generation,
Faith in its own strength beget!
German youth, for whom the striving
Of our people is at one,
You are Germany's reviving,
And over our Germany,
There is radiant sun,
There is radiant sun.

Fine lyrics, banging tune, shit country.

[Logan Mountstuart]

National anthems boiled down

Tune!

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

National anthems boiled down

the german approach of removing the objectionable parts of the objectionable anthem, while retaining what is left while noble in intent, is hilarious. the thing is that because virtually no-one outside germany speaks german, or knows the lyrics, then they just hear the melody and think that the german national anthem goes Deutschland deutschland uber alles.

[Toby Gymshorts]

National anthems boiled down

Thanks to Vic and Bob, a whole generation also think the next line is 'Achtung, achtung, gesundheit.....'.

[G-Man]

National anthems boiled down

The Awesome Berbaslug!!! wrote: what about the german national anthem defining the borders of Germany as being forty days horse ride in every direction from wherever you happen to be at any time. what is a neighbour to make of an anthem that sets the borders of germany as being the belgian coastline, the north of denmark, the adriatic coastline, and the forest of Belarus.

From the division of Carlemagne's empire to the mid-16th century, Verdun and all east of it was German territory. That covers the Maas (Meuse) angle.

The Memel (Neman) river was the border between East Prussias (German until 1945) and Lithuania.

The Belt refers to the Baltic island of Fehmarn, which is still German.

The Etsch (Adige river) flows in the Italian regions that once were Austrian. So that refers to the southern boundary of German-language areas.

So the reference to the Etsch is geo-politically problematic. The reference to the Maas certainly was provocative before and after WW1, even if Germans believed to have a historical claim (which I guess Hoffmann might have intended to be cultural, not political).

But the eastern and northern boundaries were fair comment.