Conspiracy theories you're amenable to

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

The complexity of the legislation is driven by bitter wrangling between the Treasury on one side and the Greggses of this world on the other

Does the wrangling extend to legal argument as to whether the products Greggs supplies can be described as "food"?

[Patrick Thistle]

Ah, now, don't diss Greggs

[Nocturnal Submission]

I reckon everyone will have a local example of some shop or restaurant that seems or seemed to stay open year after year with few customers and was therefore obviously a money laundering operation/drug-dealing hub/MI5 safe house. In reality I assume that many stay open on the back of online/mail operations or perhaps takeaway or third party food preparation activities in the case of the food outlets. In others, long- or cheap leases or owners with deep pockets and reserves of optimism are possibly the explanation.

[ad hoc]

A friend of mine is a teacher at an international school. I went to visit once. It's in a castle at the top of a hill. It's owned by a Russian couple. They have more teachers than students. Plus the upkeep and utility bills alone must cost an absolute bomb. When I suggested the obvious to my friend she was quite shocked and said no way.

But it clearly fucking is

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

I reckon everyone will have a local example of some shop or restaurant that seems or seemed to stay open year after year with few customers and was therefore obviously a money laundering operation/drug-dealing hub/MI5 safe house. In reality I assume that many stay open on the back of online/mail operations or perhaps takeaway or third party food preparation activities in the case of the food outlets. In others, long- or cheap leases or owners with deep pockets and reserves of optimism are possibly the explanation.

It's calmed down since Covid, but it seemed for a while there was an endless stream of bars opening in Carlisle that had spent large amounts on refurbishment, which didn't add up in terms of the potential return.

[ursus arctos]

For the record, I didn't think that I was conceding that such things are driven by solicitors (they manifestly are not), but rather that they provided employment for same (as EEG's post demonstrates).

[ursus arctos]

I would imagine that an international school would be useful to a rather wide range of activities.

Not just money laundering, but immigration/residency fraud and all manner of tax and grant/aid related shenanigans.

[Eggchaser]

Ah, now, don't diss Greggs

When the marketing is all about how ironic and cheeky your foodstuffs are, it's just rubbish. See also: fucking cheeky fucking Nando's chicken shack.

[Patrick Thistle]

I don't see Greggs as the worst offenders in that category.

In the plus column - they persisted with their vegan sausage rolls in the face of trolling and keep them in stock. Also they are the largest retailer of fair trade takeaway tea and coffee in the UK.

[Disco Child Ballads]

Greggs is hell of a lot better than Pret a Manger, which is seriously overpriced these days.

[San Bernardhinault]

The last two times I was in Britain I walked into a Greggs expecting to want something, but absolutely nothing looked appealing.

I don't view this as a conspiracy, it's just a statement about Greggs.

[HORN]

One Sunday last year Greggs was our only viable lunch option. I was a bit reluctant as the "my body is a temple" vibe isn't often found in a Greggs queue. But our sandwich and coffee were fine. We've been back a few times since and I'm slightly apprehensive to report I have never been disappointed.

[George C.]

Gregg's Vegetable pasties are lush tbf...

[RaggedTrousered]

When checking my bank statement online the other day there was a transaction I didn't recognise so my partner looked up the supplier which was a computer hardware/software provider. In the meantime I tracked it down in my email - it was for a Chinese takeaway. My partner's instant response was that they were money laundering but she quickly accepted my explanation that the software used to order/pay was via said provider (probably).

[Nocturnal Submission]

Maybe, more seriously...

https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/...earned-2941121

That's a good piece, George - I always enjoy Spring's work for the BBC.

Maybe better on the thread for less contentious conspiracy theories, though: https://www.onetouchfootball.com/for...this-post-will

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

When the marketing is all about how ironic and cheeky your foodstuffs are, it's just rubbish. See also: fucking cheeky fucking Nando's chicken shack.

I did used to enjoy the short lived Twitter account called something like "Things that aren't really cheeky", which used to ridicule the growing use of cheeky to describe Nando's / "Maccies" / a pint / an "acca" / a bid for a footballer in the transfer window.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

I used to be convinced that the Syrian/Lebanese pizza place on Kennington Road that never had any customers, served a weird half-pizza/half-lahmacun minced lamb and pine nut pizza, but somehow made everything badly, was a money laundering scheme.

I lived near the Sainsburys at the top of finsbury park, and there were sooooo many turkish restaurants and kebab shops in such a small area. You could see that some of them were really busy all the time, but a lot of them rarely seemed to have any customers ever. I mean turkish food is fucking amazing, in a whole load of ways, but it's odd to see 30 restaurants on the same stretch of street. Also just before I moved there, a Turkish drug gang and another local drug gang had a shoot out 100 yards from the house, and had all been scooped up by the police.

Lahmacun is delicious.

[Gangster Octopus]

Obviously the area went downhill after we left...

[NHH]

There's a series of restaurants on the main drag near me in Brighton (Lewes Road, if you're interested) where there's an incessant stream of openings, then closings, then refurbings, then new openings. I had pegged these as being where the whole property was owned by some canny Turkish Cypriot who had a steady stream of varyingly useless nephews who had a dream of opening a joint which met the reality of no-one being interested in their food style. Maybe I need to reconsider. But if it is a laundering thing, presumably it's all in the costs of the work for refurbing, where the rate charged by the 'contractor' is horrifically expensive, which is where the launder happens?

[Hot Pepsi]

Exactly. How anyone could think that they taste remotely alike is beyond me.

I can tell you. It's because they taste mostly alike. Not exactly, of course. But the ingredients are all basically the same.

[Balderdasha]

I lived near the Sainsburys at the top of finsbury park, and there were sooooo many turkish restaurants and kebab shops in such a small area. You could see that some of them were really busy all the time, but a lot of them rarely seemed to have any customers ever. I mean turkish food is fucking amazing, in a whole load of ways, but it's odd to see 30 restaurants on the same stretch of street. Also just before I moved there, a Turkish drug gang and another local drug gang had a shoot out 100 yards from the house, and had all been scooped up by the police.

Lahmacun is delicious.

I used to live off green lanes and ate in many of those delicious restaurants. From our bedroom window you could see out the back of some of them. One of them had a massive courtyard where loads of Turkish guys would gather and smoke shisha.

When there were the riots in London in 2011, including nearby Tottenham, I walked home one day to discover that every single Turkish establishment along the street (the restaurants, the barbers, the baklava shops, the shop with the giant "Hot Nuts" sign) had a guy standing outside it holding a baseball bat, just to make sure no-one felt like starting any smashing or looting in that area. They mostly recognised me and just gave polite nods to indicate that I definitely wasn't someone the baseball bats were intended to menace. It actually felt quite reassuring because there's no way the police were going to bother protecting all those establishments.

[diggedy derek]

I started a blog once to review all the Turkish restaurants on Green Lanes. It was called The Sauce Is Strong With This One

The quality of food there is exceptional, and it’s a great community. The restaurants are not as cheap as they used to be, but in a way I’m pleased to see them do well. That said, there are persistent criminal involvement, and I think there’s some substance to
that - a torture chamber was discovered behind Manor House station 15 odd years ago or so, and my mate go into a very strange altercation at a shop around there which turned very weird quickly. I remember hearing that London’s heroin trade might come through there

Anyway, I’d live in that area again, no problem

[Patrick Thistle]

There are a couple of conspiracy theories relating to how the independence campaign group Yes Cymru all but fell apart a couple of years ago. One is that various entryists saw it as a ready source of cash for their causes. Another is that the "Union unit" set up by the UK government engineered a toxic row about trans rights that ultimately caused most of the leadership to quit. Yes Cymru has definitely lost momentum since the row.

[Lang Spoon]

Are you sure the British Govt was needed to stir up transphobes? The AUOB/Alba/C***y lot and associated fannies seemed capable of doing that all on their own steam in Scotland.

[Patrick Thistle]

It was a convenient flag. I don't think the row did anything to make trans people's lives better.