Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

I've been enjoying the company of a new friend perhaps a little more than I should have been over the last week, and appear to have suffered a slight sportsman's injury of the kind you once alluded to in a post on here. The kind George Formby might have needed to be careful about.

How long does does it take to heal? She's round again on Friday.

[Amor de Cosmos]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Congratulations or condolences?

Oh, what to do...what to do!

Both I think, get well soon Rogin.

[EIM]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

That's just gratuitous, man.

[Er Liquidatore]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Look I know what it's like to feel all smug about shagging a hot new girl, but come on man, cock injuries? Jesus wept.

[WOM]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Just remember: if your 'friend' smokes afterward, use more lube.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Yeah, yeah, you're right ... I'm just that bloke out of the old chestnut joke at the moment ("I know, but I'm telling EVERYONE!").

Apologies, OTF, wish the "delete thread" option was still available on first post, would have done. Would still like Nishlord's advice on how to deal with "it", though.

[Er Liquidatore]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

I was only messing around. The only reason I didn't tell everyone on the site straight away was because she was on it.

So, is their mucus coming out of your penile injury?

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

No, nothing that dramatic, just the George Formby reference thing. Nishlord will sort me out, I'm sure. Savlon?

[Er Liquidatore]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Tabasco sauce mixed in with garlic. A real winner.

[Nishlord]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

(Actually, no need for PMs, is there?)

Go to the doctor NOW, Rog. NOW.

[G-Man]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Rogin's current status thingy on Facebook: "[Rogin] wants to know how to cook banana fritters at home. Recipes welcome." Between all the coded language and euphemisms I'm beginning to form a picture of the events leading up to Rogin starting this thread.

[Reed John]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

I must have missed the back story. Why, exactly, is Nishlord the go-to man for advice on wang maintenance?

[David Agnew]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Because once upon a time, he burst part of his cock.

[Reed John]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Oh.

Now I'm curious as to why it is that Nish's Johnson has had so many public appearances. What line of work is he in?

[JtS]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Are you the same Reed who's been posting here for years?

Nish's blog profile http://www.blogger.com/profile/09769299051936139851

[diggedy derek]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

PM for Rogin.

[Just Say No To Vorderman]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

I have some experience in these matters :-(
If I remember correctly you're supposed to wait 3 weeks before even pleasuring yourself . I lasted about 4 days I think which is why I ended up very embarrassed in a second casualty department.
The stitches were fun, the anaesthetic wasn't so much fun..at first.
You should see a doctor really and let them decide if it needs stitching or is best left to heal on it's own

[G-Man]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

If rigorous masturbation is verboten for three weeks, I suggest trying out the sailor's trick I've heard about: catch a fly, tear off is wings, and let it run on the tip of Mr Johnson.

And if you do try that, I'd be intrigued to know whether that actually works.

Be careful that in your excitement you don't catch a wasp instead of a fly.

[Er Liquidatore]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

G-Man, that's fucking disgusting.

The moral of this story is probably this: don't EVER go to the internet for a solution to health problems - you'll find it's cancer.

White spots starting appearing on my tongue a few months ago, seemingly for no reason. Type this into the NHS Direct website and these two things came up;

Oral thrush - adults Symptoms - Health encyclopaedia - NHS Direct...denture. In patients without dentures, white spots on the mouth and tongue are typical. These may join together...join together to form larger spots or plaques. When wiped off...

HIV and AIDS Symptoms - Health encyclopaedia - NHS Direct ...persistent tiredness, night sweats, unexplained weigh loss, persistent diarrhoea, blurred vision, white spots on your tongue, or mouth, dry cough, shortness of breath, a fever of above 37C

I nearly shat myself. Turns out it was oral thrush.

[Tactical Genius]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Post of the day Gman.

I thought you guys were all a bunch of new school sushi-eating 1 hour forplay blokes, surely that would provide enough lubrication to ensure friction injuries do not take place?

I have never had any of these injuries you speak about, what kind of S&M madness do you OTFers do in the bedroom?
Actually, don't tell me as i know it involves Anal.

[Mumpo]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

If rigorous masturbation is verboten for three weeks, I suggest trying out the sailor's trick I've heard about: catch a fly, tear off is wings, and let it run on the tip of Mr Johnson

Boris?

[EIM]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Nah, he was a spider.

[hobbes]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Oooh, I'm terrified of spiders.

[hobbes]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

Especially on my cock.

[Reed John]

Nishlord advice needed rather urgently

I forgot about Todger Talk, or perhaps, blacked it out.

It defies the stereotype that you English people seem very comfortable talking about your block and tackle (and as we discussed before, using it on the first date), whereas I, a citizen of the land of liberty, Hollywood, Las Vegas and Hustler, find it all a bit unsettling.