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Skills you really shouldn't have... but do (and vice versa)

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    Skills you really shouldn't have... but do (and vice versa)

    I'm ham fisted. I'm borderline dyspraxic (...probably). It hurts me to hold a pen.

    Yet I am often complimented for my handwriting and have been somewhat exploited because of this.

    On the other hand, people seem to think I can play guitar despite no evidence to corroborate this. Quite the opposite.

    #2
    I can do excellent armpit farts. National anthems and everything.

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      #3
      I'm pretty good at finding the good news in a bad news story. Spin, in other words. I feel a bit ashamed of that really.

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        #4
        I can play the theme tune to "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" by blowing through my hands.

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          #5
          I can recite the alphabet backwards in less than 4 seconds.

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            #6
            Originally posted by Sporting View Post
            I can recite the alphabet backwards in less than 4 seconds.
            When I used to go to St. Pauli games regularly, there was a bloke in the group that stood near us who earned his money by speaking backwards.

            You could give him any sentence and he could repeat it instantly, only backwards (not just the order of the words, but the words themselves).

            He used to do turns on cruise ships, or so he said.

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              #7
              Originally posted by 3 Colours Red View Post
              Yet I am often complimented for my handwriting and have been somewhat exploited because of this.
              My dad, who died nearly two years ago, had beautiful handwriting. We kept some of his letters of complaint to the local council, because they looked so fantastic - and contained real bile, fair play. I mentioned it as part of the eulogy at his funeral - and it was the one moment that I almost broke down. My handwriting is almost exactly the same, by the way.

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                #8
                I can still roll a pretty good joint.

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                  #9
                  I once rolled a 15-skinner, using a sushi mat. And, you know, hash and stuff.

                  *People were not as impressed as I expected, mainly because it took so long to do, everyone else was too whamford to care.

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                    #10
                    Vice-versa:

                    I spent years writing and translating operating and service manuals for laboratory equipment. I'd go to the labs, ask the technicians how things worked, they'd explain and show things to me in painstaking detail and I'd go and write it down in language that people could understand. And it worked as well.

                    Yet when I myself read an operating manual - and I always do - and then pick up a screwdriver or a wrench or even a hammer and attempt to put the instructions into practice, ... I'm fucking useless.

                    I can repair basic things on pushbikes (a legacy of having owned far too many second-hand crocks) and I can clean a lawnmower and still have a full complement of digits at the end. But anything else ... forget it.
                    ​​​

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by Gerontophile View Post
                      I once rolled a 15-skinner, using a sushi mat. And, you know, hash and stuff.

                      *People were not as impressed as I expected, mainly because it took so long to do, everyone else was too whamford to care.
                      Those multiskin joints often don't draw very well, though maybe yours was an exception.

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                        #12
                        I'm intrigued by the structure. It can't have been 15 skins long, so it must have been something like either 8 long with 7 strengtheners, or more likely, I'm thinking about 6 long, double width with three strengtheners

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                          #13
                          My handwriting remains the best I've ever seen. Actually, no - my old art teacher had great calligraphic skills and an aunt of mine has a near-perfect hand: beautiful descenders and flourishes. However, I definitely shouldn't be as accomplished an artist as I am, given that I can barely see three metres in front of me. (I've recently returned to it after the best part of two decades and it's proving very gratifying indeed...)

                          I was always cack-handed at rolling cigs or spliffs of any size. Always left that to the experts. (Around twenty years back, I was at a houseparty in which Ardal O'Hanlon was wandering around on his own, toking on the biggest bifter I'd ever seen in my life.)

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                            #14
                            Only this weekend just gone, we found out I can still air a BMX higher out of a quarterpipe than my teenage son can.


                            **edit** and land it

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                              #15
                              Despite being generally antisocial, I have an uncanny ability to remember names and faces. I saw a guy at the GO station last month that I had in my drafting class in 1982 and was like 'James!'

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                                #16
                                I also used to have excellent handwriting although that seems to have deteriorated slightly in recent years, probably (so I tell myself) because I'm often furiously scribbling notes for study/work and amn't giving it the time and consideration it deserves.

                                Despite this skill, however, I am the world's worst artist. I can't draw to save my life.

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                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Sporting View Post

                                  Those multiskin joints often don't draw very well, though maybe yours was an exception.
                                  We did a huge one once and roached it half way down to improve the airflow, I think it was 18 king skins and still had a cone shape. No rolling mat, but there were 2 of us.
                                  Last edited by hobbes; 09-04-2019, 11:56.

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                                    #18
                                    Oh, my ability is that I can pour multiple glasses of wine without looking and they'll all be to exactly the same level.*
                                    I'm fairly sure I do it by sound.

                                    *As long as the glasses are all the same type.

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                                      #19
                                      Something I should be able to do, but can't...

                                      I have a terrible, terrible memory, much to my wife's annoyance.

                                      She was recently berating me for failing to recall a conversation we'd apparently had when we were out in a local restaurant about 4 or 5 months ago.
                                      I genuinely don't remember ever having even been to the restaurant in question, let alone having a conversation in there.
                                      Last edited by andrew7610; 09-04-2019, 13:13.

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                                        #20
                                        I buy ready-made cones, on Amazon, as I very seldom managed to make a halfway decent roll.

                                        As for skillz, you'd be amazed at wot I can do. Or not.

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                                          #21
                                          For someone who is very happy in his own company, I find it quite easy to socialise and make friends. Other than that though all of my skills, or lack thereof, are perfectly aligned with my expectations.

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                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by andrew7610 View Post
                                            Something I should be able to do, but can't...

                                            I have a terrible, terrible memory, much to my wife's annoyance.

                                            She was recently berating me for failing to recall a conversation we'd apparently had when we were out in a local restaurant about 4 or 5 months ago.
                                            I genuinely don't remember ever having even been to the restaurant in question, let alone having a conversation in there.
                                            Ha, joke's on her.... she was probably with her fancy bit-on-the-side

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                                              #23
                                              I am amazing with dates. Not the fruit with the stone, but those on the calendar. Birthdays, anniversaries, when I had specific conversations, I can always pin it to an exact date. This baffles my wife who questioned getting married on her birthday so she wouldn't forget our anniversary.

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                                                #24
                                                Mention of sushi on another thread made me want to put this here - I can confidently use chopsticks. I would vouchsafe I'm in a demographic of about 0.1% of (non-Asian) people who grew up in Devon in the 1980s who can. My mum had spent her childhood in Singapore and we had a Chinese takeaway as an occasional treat where we would practice using them. Much to the annoyance of my Dad who not only couldn't use the things but was the one who'd had to drive 10 miles and back to pick up the meal.

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                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by MsD View Post
                                                  As for skillz, you'd be amazed at wot I can do. Or not.
                                                  I think it's more about skillz you oughtn't have, but do. Like, I'd be amazed to learn you spin a mean wood lathe or something. Or you can operate a skid-steer.

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