Animals you don't like

[Tubby Isaacs]

I think I can sentimentalise and anthropomorphise most creatures. Anyone who's been on a walk with me will have observed me stop and call some cur that's about to live up to the Dangerous Dogs Act "Mr Dog" in a voice that Victorians might have found a bit gooey. No doubt if I worked in a lab, I'd be found going "Coooo, Mr Virus!"

But I can't do crows. They're just too bloody big and sinister for where they hang out, round second rate arable land. You want to look big and sinister, go and live in mountains.

Not all superstition is as silly as you think.

[Crusoe]

Animals you don't like

Spiders.

Centipedes.

Spiders.

Millipedes.

Spiders.

Earthworms.

Spiders.

Spiders.

And I'm not a fan of cats - I find them shifty and liable to attack me at any time. Even kittens.

[EIM]

Animals you don't like

Fish. And friends of fish.

[Seven Saxon Kings]

Animals you don't like

Cats are reprehensible. Expect a whole load of care and money spent of them and reward you with nothing but sleeping and shitting all day. And have you ever tried sleeping in the same room as a kitten? Not so cute when it's jumped on your face for the twentieth time in a night.

Snakes are also abject.

[Bruno]

Animals you don't like

I've been watching 'Life in the Undergrowth' by David Attenborough, and he explained the building of a spider web so well, and the variety of ingenius ways they do it, that I almost warmed to the little fuckers. (It really is incredible, and beautiful, how they go about it.)

Then I watched a male spider do a cute little dancing ritual, that he'd obviously given a great deal of thought to, in order to mate with a fuckoff sized female, ten times bigger than him. And rather than eating him, she kindly opened her legs and let him inseminate her. And they coupled, and it was touching and I thought, You know, maybe spiders aren't...and before I could finish the thought, all eight of her giant spindly legs snapped closed at light speed like a bear trap around him, and she furiously goes to work with her hideous mandibles, immobilizes him and sews him right up.

She didn't even eat him right away; she saved him for later, left him dangling there, depleted of sperm and life force.

So, spiders.

[Cavalry Trouser Tips]

Animals you don't like

Crusoe wrote:

And I'm not a fan of cats - I find them shifty and liable to attack me at any time. Even kittens.

Indeed.

[ChrisJ]

Animals you don't like

Seven Saxon Kings wrote:

Cats are reprehensible. Expect a whole load of care and money spent of them and reward you with nothing but sleeping and shitting all day. And have you ever tried sleeping in the same room as a kitten? Not so cute when it's jumped on your face for the twentieth time in a night.

Snakes are also abject.

I just read your post out to my cats. (They could have read it themselves, but said they "couldn't be arsed".) Both promise they'll be round your gaff for a 'quiet word', once they've had a nap to combat the exhausting effects of sleeping between meals, that is.

They were also at pains to point out that contrary to your sneering dismissal, there are countless other aspects to cat life too, including; Tripping You on the Stairs, Clawing the Furniture, Climbing the Curtains, Being Rescued from the Curtains, Dislodging the Ornament, Taking Over the Bed, Scratching at the Bedroom Window, Hiding in the Garage, Drinking from the Bedside Water-Glass and Knocking the Keys Down the Back of the CD Player.

It's hardly surprising they need their kip.

[E10 Rifle]

Animals you don't like

We need cats, not least to sort out the mice, who are utterly odious sub-human scum.

[EIM]

Animals you don't like

I also don't like:

Giraffes - Long necked, nosey cunts.
Dogs - Thick, try too hard, eager to please, idiots.
Mice - What's the fucking point?
Lizards of all persuasions - Horrible, freaky little shits. Fuck off back to hell.
Snakes - They've got no legs for fuck's sake. No fucking legs!
Horses - Posh donkeys. Completely lacking self-awareness.
Hyenas - Stop fucking laughing and do something for yourself, you senseless, scavenging dicks.
Camels - Seriously, God. Is that the best you could come up with?

[DCI Harry Batt]

Animals you don't like

I don't really mind animals, much. Dogs are scary, of course, but not as scary as horses. I mind people, people who have animals, mostly, yeah.

[Cavalry Trouser Tips]

Animals you don't like

Wasps. They pointlessly fuck up everything pleasant about a nice day in the park.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Animals you don't like

Setting the bar low, there, for the wasps.

[EIM]

Animals you don't like

Wasps are great you shit. They're fucking mean as owt. And nails. They just fuck about causing mither, saying COME ON THEN YOU CUNTS in a high frequency buzz. Turning up at picnics, getting in your apple tango and coleslaw, just not giving a fuck. Like a Paul Newman character in some wicked film you always forget to watch on TCM.

[Bruno]

Animals you don't like

On wasps: Attenborough has learned me that a certain wasp likes to lay its eggs inside of the caterpillar larvae of the white cabbage butterfly. It sneakily injects them with eggs without their noticing, so down the road some of the caterpillars proceed to making nice little cocoons to become nice butterflies, while others are consumed from within by wasp larvae who then erupt from their skin by the dozens.

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

Animals you don't like

All mosquito should be shot with a tank.

And flies.

Dogs can bugger off, the stupid sods.

Someone did a great rant about Panda bear here, which was ace. Panda are indeed stupid.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Animals you don't like

And penguins. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

[Ginger Yellow]

Animals you don't like

I love spiders. Bees and wasps, though. They can fuck off. Unless they're cool parasitic wasps like the one Bruno was talking about.

[Seven Saxon Kings]

Animals you don't like

I think penguins are quite cool. I mean, I'd put up with looking stupid if it was the only way I could survive in Antarctica.

Pandas on the other hand are a joke. There are people who go to enormous lengths to try to save them from extinction and the lazy fuckers can't even be bothered to have sex. Pathetic.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Animals you don't like

No doubt if I worked in a lab, I'd be found going "Coooo, Mr Virus!"

hah, brilliant.

Cats are reprehensible. Expect a whole load of care and money spent of them and reward you with nothing but sleeping and shitting all day. And have you ever tried sleeping in the same room as a kitten? Not so cute when it's jumped on your face for the twentieth time in a night.

I think you're missing the point of cats. A domestic cat differs from a tiger only in size. If you think of a cat other than a small psychotic killing machine, you are going to be terribly disappointed. It is basically a psychotic murderer that behaves as badly as it thinks it can get away with. I'm not sure you should even let them indoors.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Animals you don't like

Penguins in the wild stink absolutely terribly.

[Sam]

Animals you don't like

ChrisJ wrote:

[My cats] were also at pains to point out that contrary to your sneering dismissal, there are countless other aspects to cat life too, including; Tripping You on the Stairs, Clawing the Furniture, Climbing the Curtains, Being Rescued from the Curtains, Dislodging the Ornament, Taking Over the Bed, Scratching at the Bedroom Window, Hiding in the Garage, Drinking from the Bedside Water-Glass and Knocking the Keys Down the Back of the CD Player.

And that's before we even get started on what the little fuckers will do once they've seen their first Christmas tree put up...

[Femme Folle]

Animals you don't like

Cockroaches.

Is cole slaw considered an animal?

[G-Man]

Animals you don't like

Good grief, a thread attacking penguins?

As long as an animal serves a discernible purpose, it's fine by me. But there seems to be no good purpose for the fly and the mosquito. Or, indeed, the cockroach. Doom the motherfuckers!

I'd probably add snakes and hairy spiders too, but neither species has given me cause for annoyance yet.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Animals you don't like

People like penguins, yeah - to laugh at. Because they are pathetic.

I'm not sure you should even let them indoors.

Of course you shouldn't let animals indoors, FFS. (and surely "the point of cats" is so that otherwise seemingly intelligent people can get away with the most ridiculous nonsense imaginable?)

[Disco Child Ballads]

Animals you don't like

I've metioned this on several occasions: Seagulls.