So, after 16 years of pretty much relentless excessive drinking I'm now trying to do something about it. I've now not had a drink for four days. This is the longest I've gone for over ten years and it feels fucking horrible. To borrow a phrase I heard used by Frank Skinner I've always been a "none or enough" drinker. It's usually been more enough than none and lately enough has been manifestly too much. I shied away from keeping any sort of drinking diary, knowing full well that it would make pretty hair-raising reading. Shameful reading, actually. Hair-raising makes it sound like some merry Peter O'Toole thing.
"Alcoholic" is probably the word, although naturally I shy away from it. I mean, I've never ever had to have a livener first thing in the morning or anything like that. "Habitual" is probably more descriptive. Maybe even more accurate, but it's little more than a euphemism if I'm honest with myself.
So, yeah, four days in and I feel like shit. A exhibition of all the milder symptoms of withdrawal, although I already look less unhealthy on the outside. But I'm likely to be a bit, shall we say, unpredictable for a while.
So, apologies for that in advance.
A good friend who's been through this tells me that the first fortnight is the worst. And that the month after that is the worst as well. But from there on it starts improving, apparently.
Not really sure why I'm posting this. Probably because I'm kind of upping the ante, hoping that fear of public disgrace will succeed where unspoken regret and love of family has failed so far.
No need for lots of public hugs and shit like that. Just be tolerant if I act even more of a cunt than usual.
Cheers.
"Alcoholic" is probably the word, although naturally I shy away from it. I mean, I've never ever had to have a livener first thing in the morning or anything like that. "Habitual" is probably more descriptive. Maybe even more accurate, but it's little more than a euphemism if I'm honest with myself.
So, yeah, four days in and I feel like shit. A exhibition of all the milder symptoms of withdrawal, although I already look less unhealthy on the outside. But I'm likely to be a bit, shall we say, unpredictable for a while.
So, apologies for that in advance.
A good friend who's been through this tells me that the first fortnight is the worst. And that the month after that is the worst as well. But from there on it starts improving, apparently.
Not really sure why I'm posting this. Probably because I'm kind of upping the ante, hoping that fear of public disgrace will succeed where unspoken regret and love of family has failed so far.
No need for lots of public hugs and shit like that. Just be tolerant if I act even more of a cunt than usual.
Cheers.
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