X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Hot Orange]

Hey, going down with 2 defeats in 11 ain't so shabby either HO.

Yes, been consoling myself with that thought.

[MortalJoe]

Just when I thought of strategies how to survive with Kilmore Quays United in the Brythonnic League I got today from the Youth Academy a 16/5 Free kick striker. Now I am selling two of my other strikers, play him every game and go down with grace. Best youth player I got in a long time. Worth 12.5m econ.

Last week I got also a striker with my XPert Ladies team, a 17/5 with Long Passes, Cock and swearing. Guess the price... 512.000. The transfer market in the XPert Ladies is quite unique. But to be fair, striker are always lower in price.

[Various Artist]

"Best youth player I got in a long time," he says.

"Best player I've ever had, by some distance," is what most of us poor mortals (no pun intended) would have to say. I know you run a lot of teams Joe, but you do seem to get really world-class youths appearing surprisingly often. Good for you mate.

I hope you can find enough game-time for your Xpert Ladies striker – it's a bad time of the season to get a great youth there, as there's no chance at all of selling, but I really hope you can get her DV up high enough for a jump.

[Janik]

Given Dublin's result today*, there may be a chance to play her in the final matches. Indeed she played today having played and scored last week as well (presumably it's Maeve McAteer we are talking about here?)

* - say it ain't so, Joe!

[Sits]

Yes, been consoling myself with that thought.

I still console myself that Berkshire Swine's two relegations from the top flight were from 4th bottom...

[Gawpus]

Since we've done the top tier, only fair to have an OTF lower division roundup ahead of the final fixtures:

Division One:
Already safely promoted, a win guarantees Wednesday de la Zouch the title. Anything less leaves them depending on results elsewhere. Great Ouse Town or Berkshire Swine could both theoretically still pip them, although if Wednesday win their game against fourth placed Hornville, Town and the Swine are both guaranteed promotion slots. Hornville need to win and hope results go in their favour to nick a promotion spot, but with the other contenders matched up against teams with nothing to play for, they're definitely third favourites.

No one else in the division has anything still to play for, with Steaua Bridge, Great Northern Railway and Les Incoherents already down.


Division Two:
Promotion is done and dusted, with Four Candles, Locomotiv Noj and Turd Division all having secured their spots. The title is between Four Candles and Locomotiv Noj, who'll be playing each other for it in the final round. The Candles have a one point lead, so Noj will need an away win to nick the trophy.

One relegation spot is still to be decided. AFC Hartford and Poplar Massive Crew are already down, with either Pinewood Passers or die Ambosse to join them. They're currently separated only by goal difference, with the Passers seven goals worse off. Realistically, that means the Passers will have to better die Ambosse's result, as they're not going to make up that many goals in one game. Both are playing teams with nothing to play for, die Ambosse at home to mid-table Saltney Drawers and the Passers away at already promoted Turd Division.


Division Three:
Everyone might as well take the round off, with OWC Albion already champions and Wensleydale Blues and Heffron Phoenix already promoted. The latter two will play off in the final round for the second/third place price money. Only an away win will do for the Phoenix, with the Blues having both the points lead and home advantage.

[nmrfox]

"We know what we are,
We know what we are.
Champions of the MLX Plate,
We know what we are. "

Gaffney Globular only in existence for a couple of months and already on the MLX honours board. Cue a celebratory evening in the Fox house.

[Sits]

Nice comeback Foxy.

And many thanks for that excellent OTF roundup Gawpus.

[Me Old Flower]

Congratulations to Etienne on his OTF league title. If The Dragons last won the league back in season 32, how many years ago was that? And is that a new league record for time between Championship wins?

[Etienne]

It was in 2014, so not that long ago in real time. But yeah, it's the longest gap between title wins.
Congratulations to all the other league winners and promoted teams. Particularly impressed by Wednesday de la Zouch's rise to the top flight.

[nmrfox]

Congrats to Etienne and his Amwythig Dragons. Doesn't seem so long ago that they'd dropped to Division 2 and were playing the likes of Thoxtoxeter Seconds with their youth team.

[Sits]

Well they left us in their wake in D1 last season. Nice one Etienne, and bad luck Sean. Thanks both of your for the vicarious thrills.

[Etienne]

We owe it almost all to Slim Shadi Farag. He cost 4m but has cost far more as he has required constant form training, but he's scored 41 times in 58 games (34 in 38 over the last two seasons). He's bound to retire after next season, but he's written his name into Dragons lore.

[Hot Orange]

And Hideous owe it all to Edwin Zeeberg.

Bought for just over 5m straight after our title win, he was seen as the man to replace club legend Diego Franca up front and allow the club to kick on. He was our Islam Slimani, if you like. He started a little slowly, with just four goals in his debut season, but maybe he was just settling in. Six goals followed in Season 43 and another half-dozen in Season 44. Not brilliant, but respectable enough. And then it looked like he'd cracked it in Season 45, with 10 goals in the first 18 games of the season. He failed to find the net in the season's final four matches but nonetheless that was a decent return that made him the top flight's joint top scorer.

And so to this season. Zeeberg has played all 18 games, starting 15 of them. And what has he contributed? Not a sausage. No goals, no assists, no inspiring half-time pep talks, no birthday doughnuts, nothing. Oh, there have been some fancy high ratings and five appearances in the X11, but what good have they done us? Just one goal at the right time might well have saved us - you'd hope that your 14-skill striker might give you just one goal. But no. Thanks, Ed.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Hideous Towns and the Kneebiters in division one next season plus Four Candles mean I'm worrying about relegation.

Congratulations to Etienne on a great title win, the policy of going for youth after selling off established players really worked.

[Etienne]

I've created a new recruitment thread, though again I think that being in the Games forum doesn't really help spread the word. I might casually mention it in other threads.

[jdsx]

Well that all went very well, didn't it? Hehe.
It was nice for everyone at Four Candles to win a title after two consecutive runners-up places, and tbh we got very lucky with 2 wins over Locomotiv Noj, who probably deserved to win it overall.... We've finished up with 8 players on 17DV and 3 on 16, so we're looking forward to CR day. I think we won the fair play award (for the Division at least), and we didn't suffer many serious injuries. And by my reckoning we've picked up team of the month to boot! What's not to like??*
*I thought I'd make the most of it while I can, I fear next season might be different....

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

Well they left us in their wake in D1 last season. Nice one Etienne, and bad luck Sean. Thanks both of your for the vicarious thrills.

Oi.

[Belhaven]

So when is the change report again?

[Etienne]

It'll be Sunday. Same day as the transfer market reopens.

[Various Artist]

Well that all went very well, didn't it? Hehe.
It was nice for everyone at Four Candles to win a title after two consecutive runners-up places, and tbh we got very lucky with 2 wins over Locomotiv Noj, who probably deserved to win it overall.... We've finished up with 8 players on 17DV and 3 on 16, so we're looking forward to CR day. I think we won the fair play award (for the Division at least), and we didn't suffer many serious injuries. And by my reckoning we've picked up team of the month to boot! What's not to like??*
*I thought I'd make the most of it while I can, I fear next season might be different....

Super work there jdsx, notably with the DVs – you should enjoy the results after the CR hopefully.

Etienne, am I imagining things or was the Dragons' last title also their first season back in the top flight after a relegation? Amazing to realise anyway that it's been the longest gap between titles for any club, which is mildly astonishing, but then yes you did take the long way around, rebuilding from youth and going via the third tier. Great effort. And it only took three years in real time...

Commiserations to Sean, of course, after another bonkers finale to an OTF title race. I imagine he'll get rid of the frustration by going for a brisk run around the top floor of his trophy cabinet, and the Highwaymen may very well be the team to beat yet again next time out, but I can certainly empathise from last season when the boot was on the opposite foot.

Many congratulations, if ad hoc would be kind enough to pass them on, to the Carrotmen of course who have brought Wednesday de la Zouch all the way to the top flight at last and as Division 1 champions to boot. Great work from the lads there, who have proved once again that the much-derided pairing of a first-team coach with a director of football can work.

[Etienne]

I think it was, yes, VA although I hadn't remembered that until I had a brief dig to see when it happened in real time.

[Various Artist]

It was an odd season for Mortis: we finished a very solid 3rd and in theory were on the fringes at least of the title race for most of it, but never really threatened to upset the duopoly of the big dogs/dragons/dandies; we felt more underwhelming than the final table actually suggests. Spotted last night I've somehow ended up with 6 Manager of the Round awards, which doesn't feel right. No player prizes – it was a bit annoying to enter the last game with no fewer than five of my team all level in joint-second in the Most Assists race, one behind the Dandies' Ödön Lehota, but despite a 5-1 win over Deva only Seymour Buckley could edge up to join him (as did Slim Shadi), and Lehota takes the award on Xpert XIs countback.

Vita Mortis DVs, end of Season 46


That reminds me, I must sack Rooney. There's a joke in there somewhere.

I'm not quite sure where this squad is heading in the coming few seasons. Rot and Karmesin struggled for DV all campaign, although they both had productive seasons on the field and our forward line is in a good overall state. Greenwood is turning into a very good goalkeeper (on paper) indeed, but I've had no luck getting a junior from the academy yet to play alongside him so really hope to rectify that soon. There's also a worry he could be a top keeper in a declining team: Gunnlaugsson, Buckley and Crompton, veterans all of my first season in charge, are each approaching the final chapter alas.
Crompton scored a brace against Deva yesterday to break the career 50 goals barrier and indeed leapfrog Buckley onto 51, while Gunnlaugsson has more assists than anyone (55) except Jarvis Rowson in club history, but they're all on the point of going over the hill and that's going to be some big boots to fill. I think I've had enough of Feeney though: he started as a 16/3 and has merely plugged along with unspectacular DVs and unmemorable performances ever since, possibly due in part to being a Hulk under a manager who's scared to play Bruise. With Hulme and now exciting prospect Paard to fill his slot in midfield, I plan to cash in my chips with him after the CR.

[Etienne]

Astle 35/15 9

Valverde 30/13 15
Colwinston 26/11 17
Rindal 23/13 17
Bahn 21/9 17
Roberts 18/4 10

Linders 29/14 16
Birta 29/12 16
Tappara 25/13 16
Mawr 22/9 17
Anrell 21/9 17
Saude 21/11 17

Farag 35/13 7
Cvarkovic 22/10 16

The benefit of a small squad means excellent DV's except for Roberts who wasn't good enough to play enough, and the two veterans. Farag's retirement is inevitable, but if Eugene can play on for two more seasons that's be great. Defence and Midfield both were good this season and have plenty more seasons ahead of them.

[jdsx]

I'm sure the formatting won't work, but here goes anyway....

Dirk Pike 34/14 9
Lientur Sarasua 28/8 12

Christopher Ennis 32/11 11
Tim Moldestad 29/9 17
Alberto Riccio 25/9 17
Forbes Law 21/9 17
Scott Irons 18/5 17

Ted Ramsay 30/9 17
Drew MacColl 29/13 17
Ainsley Boston 29/12 14
Yiorgos Zografakis 26/10 17
Rowan McAuley 23/9 17
Lage Qvick 22/6 16
Apolo Arjona 18/5 16

Bailey Parson 26/9 15
Billy Hayes 20/7 16

Bit disappointed in the goalkeepers, and Boston never really recovered from an early injury, but otherwise pleased...