X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[delicatemoth]

Velvet Android’s charges pushed to score again after the break, but couldn’t find a way past the increasingly irritating stopper. They were also stymied by a very familiar face (and name) as Utsiran native, and cousin of a number of the VSU players, Siri Austrheim turned in a player-of-the-match grade 19 performance for Nee-Nee. The Econ300k Viking received for Siri as a 17/4 player is looking less good value now she is a 28/15!

I too have an Utsiran graduate of some distinction in my team in Renate Klovning. I do wish this could happen in the private leagues.

[Janik]

Yes, it’s official Ladies League Cup, Season 62, Round 3.

Bombay Green Rockets    1 - 1   Crewe Ladies
Pöhlmann 54'                    Wooding 85'

Crewe Ladies            0 - 1   Bombay Green Rockets
                                Julia Schaller 88'

Bombay win 2-1 on aggregate


Hazeldean Inchmistress  0 - 2   ShamLam Doobily Dodgers
                                Girard 4'
                                Morbidelli 66'

ShamLam Doobily Dodgers 3 - 0   Hazeldean Inchmistress
Paikkala 13', 39'
Feeney 70'

ShamLam win 5-0 on aggregate


LNWR Locomotive         0 - 2   Sisters Of Metal
                                Abreu 47'
                                Tino 78'

Sisters Of Metal        2 - 0   LNWR Locomotive
Abreu 15'
Razo 78'

Sisters win 4-0 on aggregate


Maidens                 1 - 1   Drakaina
Sandholm (pen) 42'              Kalitzakis 24'

Drakaina                1 - 0   Maidens
Byzhyti 87'

Drakaina win 2-1 on aggregate


Mauchline Belles        0 - 2   Foresta Ladies FC
                                Westgren 60'
                                Dunderdale 86'

Foresta Ladies FC       0 - 1   Mauchline Belles
                                McRenton 18'

Foresta win 2-1 on aggregate


Nyet Spasiba            0 - 3   Viking South Utsira
                                G.Klovning 27'
                                A.Hovland 63'
                                E.Klovning 87'

Viking South Utsira     5 - 0   Nyet Spasiba
N.Austrheim 12'
K.Hovland 31', 69', (pen) 90'
L.Hovland 57'

Viking win 8-0 on aggregate


Samurai                 1 - 2   Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
Nozawa 91'                      Ikmal 1'
                                Luangpruksachat 17'

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC  3 - 1   Samurai
Sumanti 70', 77'                Kurobe 86'
Hartanto 84'

Kanjeng win 5-2 on aggregate


Zakrisdals QFK          1 - 0   Zeugma Dostluk Spor
Ekedahl 31'

Zeugma Dostluk Spor     1 - 1   Zakrisdals QFK
Juliana Sanches 53'

Zakrisdals win 2-1 on aggregate

Bombay Green Rockets would have been facing an OFT derby if their Division 4b opponents Crewe Ladies hadn’t seen off Ullapool Northern Star. But Crewe did win that one, which ment it was them rather than Polaris at who visited The Common for the opening leg.
The Rockets suffered a setback to their attempt to take down a side from a tier higher very early in the tie, forward Isabel Lock going down with a 17-day injury just 3 minutes in. Lock will be missed, even if her replacement in this fixture, Eileen Pöhlmann, got the opening goal of the game on 54 minutes with a long-range strike.
The match had been fairly evenly contested up to the goal, but following it HKS3’s side went into their shells a bit, opting to try and hold on to what they had rather than adding to it. A risky strategy, and one that didn’t pay off as increasing Railwaywomen chances resulted in a 85th minute equaliser.
A 1-1 draw a home meant that The Green Rockets had to score when the sides reconvened at Gresty Road er, Miami Beach [I think I did this switch in the last round as well, didn’t I?]. But it also left Crewe with a tricky balancing act as they were already ahead, but only fractionally. This resulted in a fairly even contest of very few chances in the first half, but more in the second. However it remained goalless, which was in Crewe’s favour, right up until the 88th. That was when The Rockets Julia Schaller tried lashing one from range; she caught it sweet as you like, the ball blurring into the top corner of the Crewe net prompting Schaller to pull her best Brandi Chastain in celebration. Though it wasn’t quite a World Cup winning strike…
But it did earn Bombay a shock win that propelled them to the fourth round for the first time in four seasons. And that is worth twirling a shirt around to celebrate. Their opponents in that will be (ugh) Spandex FC, who are infesting Division 3f these days. Bombay are home in the first leg.

Hazeldean Inchmistress had produced their own shock in Round 2 to be at this stage, taking down a Division 3 opponent, but The Imperials would need to repeat that and then some if they were to beat ShamLam Doobily Dodgers – after all the entire pyramid separated the Framleyshire girls from their top flight foes.
Ken Higgs Avenue was therefore agog as the Dodgers visited for the opening leg. Could their heroines do it again, or would ShamLam note the outcome of the previous round and be prepared. Unfortunately for Foxy265 and co it appeared to be the latter as the visitors came out fired up and took the lead just 4 minutes in. They didn’t let up after that either, and though Hazeldean mounted a good rearguard action a second was coming and was eventually conceded midway through the second half.
That left Inchmistress with a metaphorical mountain to climb at the Sham Lam Stadium. This challenge went from intimidating to unscalable over the course of the first half as the Dodgers added two more to their advantage with strikes on 13 and 39 minutes. The second period was a little going through the motions as The Imperials exit was already effectively sealed, but even so another goal was Doobily scored with 70 on the clock.
That meant a Round 3 exit for the third consecutive season for Inchmistress, but one that was creditably achieved. They depart with heads held high.

LNWR Locomotive were the higher ranked side by league standing ahead of their tie against Division 5 outfit Sisters Of Metal. But despite that The Steamers were at home in the opening leg.
It didn’t look that way through a first half Locomotive were somewhat fortunate to escape from still goalless. Boss Viktor Boskovic’s message at the break was likely that the middle third was going OK (The Steamers had 49% possession), but it was the other two that needed the work. Sadly for the LNWR controller whilst his team did improve slightly in the attacking third, they went the other way on the other two, holding only just over 40% of the ball after the break and shipping goals on 47 and 78 minutes.
That put Locomotive into a hole for the second leg, which only got deeper as Sister of Metal struck on 15 minutes (having had an effort disallowed three minutes prior) and again on 78. Locomotive’s defeat and round 3 exit was pretty comprehensive in the end.

To most sides a Division 4 opponent would present a reasonable challenge, but less so for top flight Drakaina as they took on a Maidens outfit that they play four tiers above.
A strike from Circe Kalitzakis, who turned home a 24th minute corner, seemed to have The Dragons on the way until Etienne’s side were surprisingly pegged back on 42 minutes. The equaliser did come from the penalty spot though, and some on the Drakaina side would argue from a harsh award.
The Greeks had seemed happy with 1-0, so needed to try and dig in to raise their game again having seen that advantage evaporate. But though they managed a lot of possession in the remaining time, turning those back into a number of chances was less straightforward, and from very few chances came no further goals.
That made the return at Delphi rather tighter than might have been expected. The Dragons tried to strangle the life out of the match, going more snake than worm for this one. The constriction worked, eventually, which is the standard way for asphyxiation kills. The death blow eventually came in the 87th minute when Sandra Byzhyti scored directly from a free-kick.
Victory in the end, though an early blast of fire would have made it so much easier. Maybe that is what The Dragons will produce in the next stage, when they take on Division 5:3 side Galaxy Girls. Drakaina get to host the first match of this tie.

[Janik]

Four tiers also separated Mauchline Belles from their Division 5 Round 3 opponents Foresta Ladies FC.
Due to this The Belles were clear favourites to win the tie, even if the seeding committee had asked them to play at home in the opening leg. But maybe Mauchline were paying too much attention to the league status of the sides as after a goalless first half Jdsx’s side completely lost their way in the second period of the opening leg. Foresta scored twice during this, and the worst thing was from a Belles perspective – their 2-0 home defeat was fairly reflective of the balance of the match it came from.
Mauchline had to raise their level substantially in the return game if they wanted to give themselves a chance of reversing the damage. And they certainly did that, Lisa McRenton scoring after 18 minutes on a breakaway and other Belles having chances for a second. Roza Belova was turning in a stellar performance at the other end to keep Foresta out, but the vitally important second never came from the Ayrshire side as the first leg cock-up proved to be too big to overcome.
Going out in Round 3 did at least keep The Belles recent pattern going – and based on that it’s time for a run to Round 6 for the Scots next season.

Viking South Utsira were looking to say “Yes Please” in their Round 3 tie against Nyet Spasiba of Division 4.
The Blood Eagles were not standing on ceremony in the opening leg at, erm, Plague Park (ew!) as Velvet Android’s side were clinical in their finishing. Specifically it was the heading that Viking got very right, even more precisely headers from young players as U23s were responsible for nodding in The Blood Eagles three strikes.
19 year-old midfielder Gabriela Klovning got the first, getting her head to a 27th minute cross for not only VSU’s opener but also her first career goal. The advantage was doubled by Anneke Hovland (22) on 63 minutes and then added to again when Elza Klovning (20) headed home on 87.
The only threat in the return at Ragnar Rock was a complacent performance. So step forward The Blood Eagles veterans to ensure that didn’t occur. Once again there were three goalscorers, though this time for a combine five strikes overall. Nina Austrheim got the first of them on 12 minutes with another header, Kristin Hovland (34) turned home a free-kick from sister Lina Hovland (31) on 31 minutes, before Hovland cut out the middle man with a straight strike from a set-piece on 57.
Kristin Hovland went on to complete a hattrick when she added further strikes on 69 and 90 minutes, the latter from the penalty spot.
Next up for The Blood Eagles are a regular opponent around these higher Divisions as they take on Careerwoman Blues, who operate in Division 2b at the moment. Ragnar Rock will reverberate for the second leg of this one.

Round 3 of the Ladies Cup threw up a Division 3 versus Division 4 tie in South-East Asia as the Indonesians of Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC took on Samurai of both Japan and one step lower in the league pyramid.
The first leg was in Kyoto, but it was KRK who looked at home as Rahma Ikmal received the opening kick-off, ran straight towards the home goal, let fly from 40 yards as she began to get closed down, and saw the ball arrow into the top corner of the net! Some start, and it only got better for SeanoftheShed’s girls as they added another on 17 minutes, Thao-Ap Luangpruksachat being sprung clean through and finishing coolly.
Those two openings, one only a quarter-opening at best, would prove The Sea Spirits sole sights of goal in the game. But then, having converted both, there really was no call to make more chances… particularly as long as Samurai remained scoreless. Which they did up until second-half stoppage time when they finally pulled one back, but not enough to prevent The Sea Goddesses returning to the deep with a significant advantage.
Utami Sumanti thought she had extended the gap further in the 11th minute of the return, only for ref Ann Onym to intervene. No matter – it was still 0-0 on the night when Sumanti got another chance on 70 minutes. Once again she stuck it away, but this time she wasn’t stymied by the officials. Neither was she 7 minutes later as she headed her and her side’s second of the day.
Utami Hartanto made it 3-0 on the night with a header on 84 minutes, and though Samurai did pull one back two minutes after that it was little consolation by this stage as the visitors were clearly going out.
By contrast The Sea Spirits were progressing through to a Round 4 clash with Real Wisconsin Girls of Division 5:30. Leg one of this is in the American mid-West.

An all-Division 5 tie was the challenge for Zeugma Dostluk Spor, as they took on Zakrisdals QFK. Which sounds like one of Douglas Adams’ made up spacey swear-words [“Oof, right in the zakrisdals! Fardwarks!!]
The first leg was away for Zeugma, and whilst it was tight and competitive it was the Anatolian side who found themselves slightly on the back foot. Zakrisdals had fractionally more possession (52% in the first half but 60% overall) and also shaded the goal-scoring opportunities stakes 3-1. But most importantly for Antepli Ejderha and his side, Zakrisdals also converted one of these openings in the 31st minute.
The rest of the game played out without serious incident setting the return at the Insan Haklari Stadyumu up on a knife-edge. But for it to remain there, it was vital that Zeugma prevented Zakrisdals scoring an away goal that would effectively be worth double as it would increase the number of goals that ZDS had to score to stay alive from one to three. Which meant the strike on the 26th minute was hugely unfortunate for the hosts.
Zeugma took the game to their visitors as they now had to do. It resulted in decent pressure and chances, but only one of the three required goals was scored, Juliana Sanches heading home in the 53rd minute.
That consolation (as it proved to be) aside it was mostly futile battering at a firmly locked back door for Zeugma, who therefore failed to match last season’s Round 4 reached by a round, but that does still make it their second-best run in the competition, well, ever.


Round 4 draw - first listed teams home in opening leg

Bombay Green Rockets           vs   Spandex FC (3f)
Careerwoman Blues (2b)         vs   Viking South Utsira
Drakaina                       vs   Galaxy Girls (5:3)
Real Wisconsin Girls (5:30)    vs   Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC

[Sits]

jdsx very unlucky in the MLX final, well played.

[Various Artist]

For what it's worth, I'll plop the report on last Monday's fixtures down here for posterity, having been forced to post it on the in-game league Forum instead last week as these boards were down at the time:

OTF League roundup for 7th June: Season 63 round 12

Division 3

---

The top two are streaking clear here en route to a riveting-looking showdown this Thursday, after leaders Nieuwegein Kneebiters beat Wharfedale Generals (5th) 3-1 and 2nd-place Littlewoods Legends eased past 3rd-placed Cods of War on Monday, both at home, to maintain the OTF League’s last two unbeaten records. The Biters stay two points clear on 9-3-0, while Legends moved onto 8-4-0 after getting the job done especially early, scoring in the first and fourth minutes to see off their warlike visitors. The peculiar life and times of 25-year-old Cods midfielder Anwar Zaia continued when he received just his second start of the term; he made his first appearance off the bench at Brian Munchingflapjack back in Round 3, scoring the winner, then had to wait until Round 9 for another bite of the cherry – when he hit a hat-trick in a 4-2 win over Wharfedale Generals. Despite this making him Cods’ top scorer for the campaign, he still hadn’t been granted another outing of any sort until this Monday... when his luck ran out again as he was stretchered off for the first time in his career six minutes into the second half.
There is now a 9-point chasm behind the two frontrunners, Heffron Hendecagon edging ahead of the Cods into 3rd but only on GD after their visitors Brian Munchingflapjack (6th) grabbed a second equaliser in the 87th minute for a 2-2 draw. There is only a point covering four teams, with Heffron and Cods on 19pts and the Generals and Munchies on 18. Four further back in 7th are the next-highest winning team on Monday, OWC Albion, who triumphed 2-0 at Veni Vici Vigata (9th). The latter stay off the bottom on GD though as table-proppers Eintracht Midwest were hammered 5-0 at home by the mercurial Pinewood Passers, who remain 8th but pull 7pts clear of the pair below.

Division 2

---

Leaders die Ambosse stretched out their narrow lead to 4 points on Monday, after coming from behind to win a very open and even game at home to Turd Division 2-1 thanks to Mario Mueller getting on the end of a 78th-min Bernd Frehn freekick – the same routine as that which gave the Anvils their equaliser ten minutes earlier, except with Edmundo Bivar netting that time. 3rd-placed Steaua Bridge’s 2-0 win at 2nd-place Wednesday de la Zouch saw Weds drop back off the pace at the summit but closed Steaua up to just two points behind them. Turds’ loss meant they slip back from Steaua’s coat-tails, and also drop a place to 5th after Wensleydale Blues squeaked past New Dresden (10th) 1-0 to move to 4th, 2pts behind Steaua – but only just, coming within 2 minutes of becoming the first club to drop points to whipping boys Dresden all season before finally nicking a last-ditch breakthrough.
Blues are nonetheless the only side moving upwards in the division. Hampshire Deers and Great Northern Railway however both made progress of a different sort, opening up gaps of 6 and 4 points respectively to the relegation line after Deers (6th) won 2-0 at Tree Hill High (9th) and GNR (7th) snatched an important 1-0 win from a tight one at home to Andromache FC (8th).

Division 1

---

Croesoswallt Dragons are starting to turn the screw at the head of D1, scoring in the 1st minute at Zeugmaspor, dominating the first half and surviving a second-half fightback from their hosts to win 2-1 at the Yeni Hach Kapisi. Zeugma slip back to 7th, a single point above the dropzone, after their first loss in four. The Dragons though are now 3 point clear after rivals Waveney Valley Swifts drew 2-2 at home to Whoft Fluffopolis (6th), in a game the visitors could easily have won. The Swifts drop to 3rd, with Rejects Redux overtaking via a 3-1 win at The Gang Play Football in a bruising game where both sides lost their top striker to matching career-worst 11-day injuries. The Gang must do without Kristian Blomberg while also sliding into the relegation places in 8th, whilst the Rejects are up to 2nd but lost Christopher Belemgoto (who had alread supplied a goal and an assist) and are now down to just 11 fit first-teamers aside from the half-dozen random rubbish forwards also hanging around their squad.
Saltney Drawers are outside the top 3 only on GD after a convincing 3-0 win at FC Gloryhammer (9th). The day’s big movers though were Locomotiv Noj, who took the express track from 8th to 5th without stopping at any of the intervening stations, courtesy of a 4-2 home victory over bottom side Athletico Deva. The Deviants are three points adrift of Gloryhammer, whom they host this Thursday, and any further setback will see them really lose grip on the teams above them.

OTF

---

In-form Berkshire Swine eked out their seventh win on the bounce to hold onto their newly-won position on top of the OTF elite, though it took until the 70th minute for Jan-Axel Gullbekk to break down doughty visitors Kernow Kensa (6th) – and they were reliant on Flip “Flip” Zijlstra’s 78th-min top-up to claim the three points as Kensa’s Damien Balboa promptly pulled one back to set up a tense finish. The Sty Council stay a point ahead of Four Candles at the top, who recovered their moxy after suffering their first two defeats of the season last week by edging an evenly-fought affair 1-0 at Eriskay [Redacted]* (5th). Scott Levein’s 5th-min penalty miss for the hosts let the faltering defending champs off the hook early on, and Apolo Arjona made the Islanders pay with a 61st-min freekick that proved the only goal of the game.
A one-sided 2-0 home win for Dandy Town (3rd) over Banik Roystonov (9th) coupled with Csiki Monkeys (4th) dropping points in a 1-1 draw at home to Somers Town Sugar Imps (10th) means the Dandies have moved well clear of the midtable pack: they are four points behind the Candles but six clear of the Monkeys. Two points span 4th to 8th, but there were no movers at all in the top flight table on Monday after neither Vita Mortis (7th) nor Great Ouse Town (8th) could take advantage of the mass stall ahead of them after cancelling out 1-1 at the Hollows. Ouse had much the better of the game and 5 shots to 1, yet only 7 minutes after Ernie McAteer headed them in front early in the second half they were pegged back by Ernest Crompton scoring from Mortis’ only opportunity. It all goes to show the importance of being... well, you know.


(*see below)

[Hot Orange]

A brief OTF Season 63 Round 13 Round-Up

OTF

---

Berkshire Swine made it eight wins on the bounce and stay top with a slightly flattering 3-0 success at tail-enders Somers Town Sugar Imps, and Four Candles remain a point behind them following a 2-0 home win over AFC Csiki Monkeys, who drop to 6th. The title looks to be going to one of those two, as 3rd-placed Dandy Town slipped seven points behind after losing 2-0 at home to Vita Mortis, who have collected 10 points from the last 12. Mortis were helped on their way to victory at Stade Andy Liver by the dismissal of home midfielder Lincoln Balshaw just after the break with the game scoreless. Mortis are up to 4th but still only two points clear of the drop zone. Eriskay Expression are 5th following a 1-1 draw at 9th-placed Banik Roystonov, while Kernow Kensa and Great Ouse Town are 7th and 8th after they played out a goalless draw in Cornwall, with the visiting Ouse side unfortunate not to take all three points.

Division 1

---

Croesoswallt Dragons put a stop to Locomotiv Noj’s four-match winning run and remain top of the table after the 2-2 draw at the Host of Trophies Past, gifted young striker Lewis Harold netting both goals for the Dragons. Noj drop to 6th while the Dragons’ lead is down to one point following nearest challengers Rejects Redux’s 1-0 home win over Zeugmaspor, who stay 7th. A hat-trick and an assist from Viggo Krommenhoek gave Waveney Valley Swifts their first win in six, a 4-1 success at The Gang Play Football that keeps them in 3rd and drops The Gang to 9th. Saltney Drawers lost ground on the top three after they were thumped 5-1 at home by Whoft Fluffopolis, for whom Colm Dinamoe and Judd Leslie-Singleton both scored twice. The Fluffers move up to 5th. At the bottom, Teofilo Perales was another hat-trick hero as FC Gloryhammer won 3-1 at Athletico Deva to edge up to 8th and leave their hosts five points adrift at the bottom.

Division 2

---

Leaders die Ambosse are six points clear following a 4-0 cruise at Tree Hill High, who saw Graham Grimes dismissed in the closing stages and stay 9th, seven points away safety. Wednesday de la Zouch slipped up at 6th-placed Hampshire Deers, going down 2-0, and lose 2nd place to Steaua Bridge, who beat visitors Great Northern Railway 2-1 thanks to a double from Esbjorn Fredlund. GNR stay 7th. Turd Division move above Wensleydale Blues into 4th after winning 2-0 in the Wensleydale Sheep Dip and they are now three points shy of the promotion places. Pointless New Dresden held out for the first 45 minutes at Andromache FC, but a goal straight after the break – the first of two for Tom Hignet – was the cue for them to collapse to a 4-0 defeat. Andromache remain 8th but are only a point below the undotted dotted line.

Division 3

---

Ronnie Hoogendorp was the match winner as leaders Nieuwegein Kneebiters took all three points from their game at 2nd-placed Littlewoods Legends to move five points clear at the top. Heffron Hendecagon consolidated 3rd place with a 3-0 success at Pinewood Passers, but remain a hefty six points behind the Legends, as do Cods of War, who eventually saw off the challenge of Veni Vici Vigata as two late-ish headers from Fareed Badur clinched a 3-1 win. The Passers and VVV are unmoved in 8th and 9th. Brian Munchingflapjack and Wharfedale Generals were the only movers, swapping places in mid-table as a result of the Flappers’ 3-1 win over the Generals at The Green. Eintracht Midwest have recently overhauled their squad and their new-look young side was thwacked 6-0 at OWC Albion, leaving them stuck at bottom, with Albion 7th.

[Various Artist]

Whoa. Haha, I thought I might only just sneak that in ahead of your follow-up report HO, but that was quite some timing!


For some reason I can't post the OTF division bit though – it says:

Error while saving content: %1$s

Error information: " 403 error Forbidden"

There must be some conspiracy to prevent the truth getting out here.

[Hot Orange]

Phew, three minutes away from out-of-sequence round-ups confusion.

[Various Artist]

Phew!


Still experimenting – for some reason it'll let me post the second paragraph of my OTF-division roundup, but not the first. Curiouser and curiouser. Swine, Kensa, Candles and Expression the teams concerned. Whatsupwidat?

Edit: OK, I can post the sentence about the Swine-Kensa game.

It literally won't even let me paste in the following sentence about the Swine holding off the Candles at the summit, though, nor my verdict on the latter's match versus Eriskay. This is just plain weird.

Further edit: Right, it'll take the second sentence of my report on said match, but not the first. I've apparently narrowed its objection down to Sits' team's nickname, Bill's team's name, or else the new boards host really doesn't like news of the Candles winning... though HO's report gives the lie to that latter theory. Or it won't let me use the word 'moxy', which might be fair enough.

Flummoxed edit: OK, I've managed to get the entire thing pasted into my previous post now, have experimented at the last with pasting in half a sentence at a go to see what gives error messages and what doesn't, then each separate clause at a time, and finally taking out individual words. Utterly bafflingly, it's finally let me post every single thing except for one word: Eriskay's suffix. What the actual fuck.

[Various Artist]

Well, I can start on the next lot of roundups now it's past 5pm...


First, though, must go and sort out my avatar.


.....Hey, that was easy, at least.

[Sits]

Well, look at all the fun I missed on this thread overnight! Good work VA and HO.

[Sits]

Acceptable CR for Kakanui KuneKune in MLX: eight jumps, one double and two 36yos had a minus. But nobody is retiring, the average ages scrape under the 30 so one more season without changes.

[Hot Orange]

Decent for the Malouins, with a couple of DJs. Striker Edmond Nivet becomes, I think, the first player I've ever had to have two DJs in his career - he's now a 21/11. I forgot to train them all before the CR, though, so it's going to be a slow start to the season.

[pebblethefish]

I was kind of impressed that one of my midfielders lost three skill bars. And he's still not retiring.

[andrew7610]

After only dropping 2 points all season in GLX C, Sockford Slovenly have had an entirely indifferent Change Report and are already staring immediate relegation in the face.

[Sits]

I think KK goalie Ross Cairnie is the first 18 skill player I've ever had.

[Etienne]

Karim Jolic is now an 18 skill player too. As a FK specialist I'm hoping for a big season for him. ZZ look good for the new season, but we have no cash.

[lambers]

Four double jumps for the Xenomorphs, but I'm very disappointed that my goalie isn't one of them. They've gone from 18/4 to 20/6 despite playing every minute in the past two seasons and having a lot of training.

[Janik]

Xpert XI official Ladies League Season 62, matchday 5 report. At the very last moment (or actually looking at my watch right now slightly after it!)…

Xpert Ladies

Drakaina                   0 - 1   CandyGirls
                                   Suriano 7'


Division 1b

Mauchline Belles           2 - 1   Man City Ladies
Luengo 48'                         Dyrhus 21'
McRenton 72'


Division 3e

BV Cloppenburg             1 - 2   Viking South Utsira
Starke 65'                         K.Hovland (pen) 78'
                                   T.Kvalvik 81'


Division 3f

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC     2 - 0   Girls Aloud
Hartanto 36'
Borot 92'


Division 4i

LNWR Locomotive            1 - 1   Watergate Bay Surfers
Reisinho 46'                       Klinkenberg 56'


Division 4j

Spacecowgirls              0 - 1   Coxy Ladies Wulpen
                                   Roosens 64'
                                   de Waterloe (sent off) 88'


Division 4p

Hawkspurs                  2 - 0   Csiki Girls
Leu 19'
Gherghinel 74'


Division 5:14

Russian Iceladies          0 - 2   Cinghiali
                                   Millen 35'
Flërova (sent off) 94'             Pailloux 78'


Division 5:19

Rising Stars               1 - 1   Athletic Mizil
Andorinha 27'                      Leon 11'

Ullapool Northern Star     4 - 0   Annie Power
Mair 5'
Bastock 72'
Verigina 85'
Towne 92'


Division 5:21

The MJ Foxes               1 - 1   Invisible Ladies
Spedding 40'                       Longsworth 33'


Division 5:22

Bombay Green Rockets       0 - 2   Twin Peaks Owls
                                   Noel 21', 58'


Division 5:26

Paradise Café              0 - 0   Zeugma Dostluk Spor


Division 5:27

Cassiopeia                 1 - 0   Lilywhite Ladies
Bloch 92'


Division 5:28

Menywod Maeshafn           1 - 0   The Valkyries
Barker 36'


Division 6:42

Hazeldean Inchmistress     1 - 1   Aston Villa Women FC
Bringevik 85'                      May Wilkinson 68'


Division 6:43

ASU Politehnica            6 - 0   FC Barbarellas
Motta 10', 14', 45', 57'
Simples 28', 68'


Division 6:57

Invictus Ladies            1 - 1   Dublin City Womens FC
Ferreira 73'                       Lyktberg 14'

Drakaina really needed a positive result from their home match against CandyGirls. A win ideally to get The Dragons off and running for the season, but at least a draw to keep one of the teams Etienne’s side are chasing for top flight survival within striking distance (CandyGirls were two points above the Greek side at kick off).
The match started badly for Drakaina though, the visitors opening the scoring after 7 minutes play. Thereafter the play was fairly even in terms of chances, The Dragons doing enough that an equaliser wouldn’t have been totally unreasonable, though it would have been slightly against the run of play. But that is all academic anyway, as it didn’t happen, the match staying at 0-1 until its conclusion.
That was a result that rather cut Drakaina adrift at the foot of the Expert Ladies table. Though The Dragons remain 7th rather than bottom, they are now five points from safety after collecting only two points so far this campaign.

Mauchline Belles are having a better time after they also got promoted up in the nosebleed levels of the league. The Belles were also the favourites against Man City Ladies who propped up the Division 1b table (which Mauchline were midway up).
Despite that it was City who took the lead on 21 minutes, an advantage they held until half-time. Jdsx’s girls had not had a shot in the first half, but they changed that in spectacular style on 48 minutes when a sweeping move was ended by Veta Luengo heading home the leveller. Now Mauchline were the side looking to raise a smile. They proved to be very happy Belles from the 72nd minute on, as that was when Lisa McRenton fired home what proved to be winner for the hosts.
The win edged the Ayrshire side one place up the 1b table to sit fourth. They are four points off the play-off spot, but only two ahead of the drop zone.

A side on the rise, Viking South Utsira (reasonably recently promoted and towards the top end of the table) visited one on the slide in the form of BV Cloppenburg (relegated last season and struggling again this).
The first serious action of the match was not good news for The Blood Eagles though as young midfielder Gabriela Klovning picked up a 7-day knock in the 14th minute. Her replacement (and cousin), Yasmine Klovning was arguably a stronger player, but even so Cloppenburg were on top in the first half in terms of possession if not chances.
The hosts adding sights of goal to their game after the break, and also a strike on 65 minutes to put Android’s side behind. They remained that way until ref Wanda Rinn helped out in the 78th minute, awarding Viking a penalty that Kristin Hovland stroked home. Confidence up, VSU attacked with gusto and soon added a second, Tove Kvalvik firing home in the 81st minute.
That proved enough to claim all the points from a game Utsira could easily have drawn or even lost. Having won it instead, they remain third in the Division 3e standings but now just a point behind the new leaders (Nee-Nee) after the previous ones (San Quirico) were held to a draw.

Winless Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC hosted unbeaten Divisional leaders Girls Aloud in what might have been assumed to be a foregone conclusion.
But not a bit of it. The Sea Spirits dominated first half possession and if they didn’t have many chances (1-1) and also relied a bit on ref Frank Redkard disallowing a Girls Aloud opener, they certainly pounced ruthlessly, Utami Hartanto opening the scoring just seconds after the Aloud effort was ruled out.
SeanoftheShed’s charges took a stranglehold on the rest of the game, with around two-thirds of possession and not allowing Girls Aloud another chance. If there was a criticism, the killer second could have come a little earlier than Tyan Borot’s 92nd minute strike. But that is really a quibble where one would have been enough anyway.
The win not only knocked Girls Aloud from the Division 3f summit, it also lifted The Sea Goddesses one place up the standings, from seventh to sixth. They are now just -1 Goal Difference behind fifth.

LNWR Locomotive really did lose 6-2 last week to Propaganda, leaving The Steamers needing to bounce back immediately when Watergate Bay Surfers visited Mollington Street.
After a chanceless first half (thanks to ref Manuel Ficu disallowing a Surfers goal) it was Viktor Boskovic’s side who took the lead, Flávia Reisinho firing in in the opening 60 seconds of the second half. Locomotive were pegged back 10 minutes later though, and spent the rest of the game more in a battle for survival than looking for the win. They achieved that despite my maths telling me they had less than 30% second half possession [42% in the first half and 35% overall must mean 28% in the second half as 42 + 28 / 2 = 35]. And given the goals shipped at regular intervals last week, a successful rearguard action this was reason for Steamers fans to cheer.
Another reason was the point meant LNWR are finally off the mark in Division 4i, and against a side who were second in the table as well. But it’s not enough to lift Locomotive off the foot of the table, and they are still 5 points adrift of fifth.

Both Coxy Ladies Wulpen and Spacecowgirls had had four decisive results in their previous games, split 3/1. It’s just the breakdown was in The Waders favour, and against their hosts.
Wulpen could have expected to be on top therefore, but instead Janik’s side found themselves dragged into a tight battle. No goals were scored before the break, and in fact only one chance was made and that by Spacecowgirls. Coxy Ladies first sight of goal came in the 64th minute when they were awarded a free-kick in shooting range. Laetitia Roosens was not letting anyone else have the ball as she knew she was going to score… and then she did.
Despite only creating that chance, The Waders had lots of possession and it was this that allowed them to close out the game straightforwardly enough. And that even with playing the last handful of minutes with just 10 after Victoria de Waterloe picked up her second yellow of the day on 88 minutes.
A tough, battling win, but in that sense a useful one for The Waders. And one with unexpected reward as elsewhere in Division 4j the leaders were being held to a draw by the previously pointless bottom side. That allowed Wulpen to leapfrog to the summit, albeit with a very narrow advantage of just +2 GD.

Two wins on the spin had lifted Csiki Girls to within a couple of points of second-in-the-table Hawkspurs prior to the two sides clashing at The Hawk’s Nest.
If the Csiki fans were getting a bit full of themselves on the back of those successes though, this was a match to put a damper back on things. Not that Ad Hoc’s team were overrun in it or anything, but they were clearly playing second fiddle from start to finish as they had less than 40% possession in both halves and didn’t create a single chance.
By contrast Hawkspurs made four openings, and converted two on 19 and 74 minutes respectively. Those sealed a defeat that kept the Transylvanian side sixth in the Division 4p standings, still the wrong side of the key line on goal difference.

[Janik]

Confidence was high amongst Boars players prior to Cinghiali’s visit to Russian Iceladies. After all, the Porcine side were not taking on their hosts at Figure Skating or Tennis but instead at Football, where Russian Ice is less effective.
Cinghiali’s self-belief was justified by the outcome of the game, if not by the pattern within it. Because the contest was pretty even, with SitsWithRemote’s side actually seeing less of the ball than their hosts in the first half. What was key, however, was Cinghiali converting a chance in each half, Susanna Millen heading home on 35 minutes and Adèle Pailloux converting a breakaway on 78.
Russia’s Inessa Flërova got herself sent off for a second yellow card deep into stoppage time, which mattered very little as the 2-0 win for Cinghiali was already basically in the record books. The same things will show The Boars sat second in Division 5:14 after 5 rounds of matches, three points behind the leaders but also three ahead of third in the standings.

Rising Stars and Athletic Mizil were both beginning to develop reputations as draw specialists ahead of their clash at the Ascension Arena.
The two sides had both won one of their opening four games and drawn the rest of them. Goals were also proving fairly hard to come by for either, but that was balanced by strong defences. However, the reputation of both could be blown out of the water is either side could win this one. Visitors Mizil were the first to register with a long-range strike on 11 minutes, only for Blamb’s side to respond I kind when Penélope Andorinha let fly on 27. The rest of the match was mostly a defensive effort from Rising as Mizil had more of the ball and made the chances. But without finding their way past Alda Guadiana in the Stars goal again, as the match did indeed end all square.
That gave a chance for Ullapool Northern Star to leapfrog the pair if they could beat bottom side Annie Power.
Power were not winning enough and not scoring enough, but also not shipping too many. It took delicatemoth’s side just 5 minutes to break them down though when Mary-Leslie Mair fired in from close range. Polaris dominated possession after that, and added a second on 72 minutes when Suzy Bastock scored a direct free-kick.
Those two would have been enough, but then Mizil got a late injury that reduced them to 10 and Ullapool exploited that ruthlessly, setting up 20 year-old midfielder Anastasia Verigina for her first career goal on 85 minutes and fellow young sub Cattie Towne for just her second on 92 minutes.
That lifted Northern Star up to third in the table, a point adrift of the top two. One of the sides they have jumped past is Rising Stars, who have now rotated back down to fifth in the Division 5:19 standings, a point ahead of the drop zone. The Stars have the least punchy attack in the section, but also the best defence!

Victory for either of Division 5:21’s bottom two sides, Invisible Ladies and The MJ Foxes would have made a big difference to either’s position and confidence about the task ahead.
PebbletheFish’s See Throughs certainly took the boss’ message about big chance to win so we really need to to heart, putting in a strong first half performance capped by Linda Longsworth’s 33rd minute opener. Sadly for See-Throughs fans, a lapse of concentration seven minutes later gifted MJ Foxes an equaliser, and that was a point the hosts held on to despite Inivisible exerting some pressure over the rest of the game.
As already noted, Invisible really needed three points from this game. But they got one, and that was enough to… keep them seventh in the table, two points adrift of the safety mark.

Bombay Green Rockets had raced up the Division 5:22 table prior to their game against Twin Peaks Owls. But could HKS3’s side keep the burn going much longer?
Well, no, not really was the answer this game provided. The hosts never managed to ignite their engines and therefore ended up simply sitting on the launchpad. Meanwhile the Owls were on the wing, from where they made to sweeping ground attacks leading to a killer pair of goals on 21 and 58 minutes.
That stalled Bombay’s assent and saw them fall back to third in the 5:22 reckoning, now three points off the play-off place and four adrift of the leaders, but still with five points in hand on the bottom three.

Zeugma Dostluk Spor visiting Paradise Café was a clash between two sides towards opposite ends of the Division 5:26 table, with Zeugma at the more upbeat one.
The Anatolian side played the stronger game in the match that followed, holding 59% possession in the first half and 61% overall. Antepli Ejderha’s side also out-chanced their hosts considerably, ZDS having three chances in each half and giving none at all up all game. However one key component was missing for Zeugma, in part because the Paradise ‘keeper was having a stormer, and that is putting the ball away.
Not managing it cost Zeugma two points, which would have lifted them into second spot in the Division 5:26 standings. Instead they stay third, a point off the play-offs but three clear of danger.

The leaders were a-visiting at Agora Aethiopia as Cassiopeia hosted Lilywhite Ladies.
Stormstopper sent his side out to try and neutralise the away side, The Vainglories aligning in a defensive 5-3-2 set. This gave up quite a lot of possession to Lilywhite, but the North London side struggled to know what to do with it when faced with the black infinity that Cassiopeia offered them to look into.
In fact this game was something of a tactical masterclass from the Vainglories boss, as his side absorbed, frustrated, and then, on 92 minutes, sprung forward to try and nick it on the break, winning a corner that was swung over to find its way to Louise Bloch. She blasted home, as The Vainglories claimed an unlikely but not totally flukey win.
The effect of the result was to keep the top two close for Cassiopeia. In fact it put The Vainglories level on points with their vanquished adversaries, and kept them just two adrift of the new top side in Division 5:27.

Another side welcoming a league leader to their abode was Menywod Maeshafn, who were hosting The Valkyries.
The Warrior Maidens arrived with a perfect record, but they ran into their stiffest challenge yet in IsThatcherDeadYet’s side, who were the better XI from start to finish. The North Wales outfit had 57% possession across the piece (56% in the first half) and out-chanced their visitors by 6-3 (2-1 at the break). Here is where I usually say “But they couldn’t score”, but I’m not doing that in this case as Katherine Barker broke the deadlock on 36 minutes.
And that was that for action. In fact the match report only includes one other line all game, and that was a minor injury. Instead two good goalkeeping performances kept it to 1-0 all the way to the conclusion. Which was very good news for Maeshafn, as though it didn’t advance them from their third spot at all, they are now third whilst being just two points behind Division 5:28’s top side (who remain Valkyries despite this loss).

[Janik]

After some good recent form, the chatter in the Framleyshire taverns was that Hazeldean Inchmistress were finally ready to launch a serious promotion push. The test of whether that was just the ale talking came when The Imperials hosted second-in-the-table Aston Villa Women FC.
Inchmistress definitely played like they believed the hype. Or rather that it was anything but hype, and instead an accurate summation of where they were at. 55% possession in the first half and 57% in the second, and more chances than Villa showed The Imperials really going for it. But they didn’t get the opening goal, which instead went to the visitors midway through the second half.
Hazeldean showed their improved spirit though, as they kept plugging away and believing and eventually got their reward (or at least partially) when Jennie Bringevik’s long range effort on 85 minutes flashed home.
That secured a point for Foxy265’s girls. Which was OK I suppose, though it is a match they could have won and probably deserved to have taken the spoils. Even so, the result was enough to keep them hot on Villa’s heels and third overall in Division 6:42.
And your chronicler is very glad it wasn’t 5-4 again like last week!

Zombie kills will form a substantial part of the Division 6:43 season, and that is the activity ASU Politehnica were engaged in on matchday 5 as they hosted FC Barbarellas.
Securing the win would be a joint effort from, in the main, just two Scholars. One was Fernanda Motta, who opened the scoring on 10 minutes with a free-kick and then added a second from a corner on 14. The other significant contributor to the outcome was Alzira Simples, whose first involvement was heading in a 28th minute corner.
Motta added a personal third and her sides fourth on the stroke of half-time, and then struck again on 57 minutes to make it 5-0 to Granthamian’s side. Simples completed the scoring with a strike midway through the second half (68 minutes) as Politehnica cruised to the expected easy win.
That kept them third in the 6:43 standings as second-placed Aveley also beat a zombie 6-0. In fact the only meaningful match of the day involved leaders London Ladies vs fourth-placed Mawzeni, and the outcome of that was a good one for The Scholars as London were held to a draw to drop their first points of the campaign. It means Politehnica are now only one point off the top, as well as being level on points with second.

Dublin City Womens FC matchday 5 hosts Invictus Ladies looked a push-over on the basis of having lost all their first four matches.
However Invictus are actively managed, and the boss was in place for this one meaning Mortal Joe’s girls had an unexpectedly tough battle on their hands. The Molly Malones gave it a good try, going ahead on 17 minutes through Maria Lyktberg’s header, but found Invictus irritatingly hard to shake off.
In fact, Dublin couldn’t get rid of them at all, Lyktberg’s header being their only chance of the match. that meant they were ripe for a counter-strike, which is exactly what the hosts delivered with a direct free-kick on 73 minutes.
However understandable in the circumstances, it still felt like a point dropped for Dublin as it sees them slip to two points behind the division 6:57 play-off spot and five adrift of the leaders.

[Antepli Ejderha]

I lost my play off in the Golden League, it was for division 1. Ho hum.

[Auntie Beryl]

Me too, a level below. Always next season and all that.

[Sits]

Bad luck both. Those higher divisions felt too pressured for me in the end which is why I've started again.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Bad luck both. Those higher divisions felt too pressured for me in the end which is why I've started again.

Thanks Sits. It's taken me all of the time I've been on Xpert Eleven to get to these heights so I'm enjoying it.

As both my sides now have average ages of over 29 this is the last season for the current side, then we'll see what I'll do.

How's your new franchise doing after the change report?