X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[jdsx]

My Xpert Ladies youth academy has presented me with a 16/4 midfielder, into the side she goes. I also bought a 30 year old midfielder to help with the conveyor belt, there are bargains to be had on the transfer market.

Nice AE - speedy too! If anyone is interested, there's a 18/5 keeper listed (Xpert Ladies) who is evaluating as a 18/6. Nikki Cutler, closing date is quite soon - today at 1500 X11 time. Was thinking about a bid but I've got no money...!

[Janik]

Today at 13:00, X11 time in fact. i.e. if you want to bid on Cutler (current price is at least 1.3m) you have ~25 minutes to do it.

[nmrfox]

Nice AE - speedy too! If anyone is interested, there's a 18/5 keeper listed (Xpert Ladies) who is evaluating as a 18/6. Nikki Cutler, closing date is quite soon - today at 1500 X11 time. Was thinking about a bid but I've got no money...!

And purchased by Hazeldean Inchmistress and handed the number 1 jersey and special edition Newbys of Molford gloves. With this season shaping to be a washout for the Imperials have decided to invest in some youth and plan more long-term.

[Various Artist]

Oh good work team! Hope she does well for you Foxy.

[Various Artist]

Technically I did get this written before Thursday as hoped for, though finishing at a minute to midnight on Wednesday might be considered in breach of the spirit of that promise if not quite the letter...
Inspiration has been taken from HO's report for last Thursday's game, with an official 'Featured Match' in each division and a noticeable superfluity of verbiage:

OTF League roundup for 27th April: Season 58 round 3

---

Division 3
FEATURED MATCH Leaping from the bottom of the league to 6th via snaring their first points of term on Monday are The Blomstrands, in fairly dramatic style at home against Wharfedale Generals. Blomstrands captain Ove Klein Johansen bagged a stunning 6-minute hat-trick, all with his head, to put his side well in command after barely quarter of an hour – but straight afterwards their momentum sagged when one of his suppliers of crosses, Ib René Mortensen, suffered a nasty injury. The young Generals, who are still more like Privates at this stage, gained a foothold when they pulled one goal back soon after the interval through promising 18-year-old Frank Hulme (favourite nephew of Vita Mortis midfield star Hank Hulme), then Phil Lock put away a penalty to really open things up. The key moment however arrived just two minutes later when the inspired Johansen swept home his fourth, equalling his total from all of last season and ensuring the hosts took all three points. The beaten Generals fall to 7th, and have an intimidating visit from Steaua up tomorrow.

The rapid revival of Steaua Bridge under Granthamian continues, as they hit the top of D3 on Monday with their third straight win – an impressive 3-0 away at New Dresden, the only other 100% side from week 1 and who had not conceded a goal previously. Tomás Stabile took just 13 minutes to ruin that record, Dresden defender Inigo Graupner put through his own net, and Armin Kurto netted for the second game in succession to wrap things up.

New boys HelloThere nudge back up to 3rd after a 1-1 home draw with Eintracht Midwest, who picked up their first point but fall to the bottom of the league. It could have been worse for Midwest, who finished a competitive 5th last season but had a loss and a bye last week before starting this game by losing keeper Jacob "Bobby" Fischer to a 7th-minute injury. Young reserve GK Filiberto Danjou, controversially wearing the no.2 jersey, was powerless to prevent Yaroslave Ustimov putting the hosts in front just before the break but otherwise kept his team in it with a string of saves, allowing Liam Romano to rescue a point with an 88th-min freekick.

The 'Ellos displace Richmond Pride & Purpose from the promotion places on goals scored, thanks to P&P sitting the day out.
Undermanaged Veni Vici Vigata would have leapfrogged both with a home win over the similarly rudderless Llandudno Jet Set, but the small committee of goats in temporary charge in Llandudno these days seem to have marshalled a resilient last line of defence at the Jet Set if nothing else, as despite VVV registering 5 shots to 0 the game ended scoreless. The two sides remain 5th and 7th respectively.

---

Division 2
FEATURED MATCH A particularly intriguing clash awaited us at the Theatre of Pies, as you don't wait much longer than Pinewood Passers and Nieuwegein Kneebiters have done to make a second first impression on each other. Their sole previous shared campaign was Division 1 in Season 32 (I'd just come up with the Passers from D2 in my debut X11 season!), during which they faced off in both April and May 2014: the 'Biters won 2-0 away and 3-0 at home, three of their five goals netted by club legend Gréagóir Foley… and that was it. The Passers were relegated straight back whence they came and have never returned to the upper divisions; whereas the Kneebiters, who had just briefly dipped out of the top flight, went straight back up and have had only one campaign below D1 in the 25 seasons since. Until now – meaning after a wait of nearly 6 years without a single encounter, the pair finally went head to head again this Monday.
Naturally, with the present Nieuwegein team being wee bairns still, it enabled Pinewood to finally break their duck against the Dutch outfit, 26 seasons late. Oleg Romashkin's penalty got them going, Henry Mapleton nodded another before the break and Maksim Taratorin made it 3-0 in mid-second half. Passers' first win of the season lifts them to 5th, Kneebiters remain bottom.

Whoft Fluffopolis are the new leaders and sole 100% side left after three rounds, after a 2-0 win at Brian Munchingflapjack. Goals early in each half from Cyclops Cranachan and Burt St Tropez did the damage, though the Munchies' second half was marred further by Ryan Marr taking a fair bit of damage of his own at the studs of Jeffersson Willson – who was only booked for his trouble, but prudently subbed off by Nmrfox soon after. The home crowd were at least still too busy verbally abusing the benched Willson to bother with catcalling the notoriously promiscuous teenage father-to-be Mike Winterwasp when the latter came on as a late sub.

The reason Whoft are clear at the top is because, shut the front door, die Ambosse have finally lost a match – nearly three months and 19 games into their second OTF life. It came at home to the admittedly much more experienced Locomotiv Noj, in a game that started badly for the Anvils when they lost defender Marlo Gaupe to a bad knock before conceding twice in 7 minutes just after the half-hour. David Planceret swiftly halved the deficit, only for Rui Anjo to secure it for Noj five minutes after the break. It knocks Andrew7610's side down to 4th, while Noj's Noj climb to 2nd.

Level with them on points in 3rd are the third undefeated outfit, Cods of War. The pugnacious piscines powered to a two-goal lead in 27 minutes at home to Great Northern Railway, with what turned out to be their only two shots of the game, then sat back and weathered the storm. Despite bossing the chances thereafter, the Railwaymen were only able to pull one back late on, the 2-1 loss sending them down to 9th.

It seems a shame that the Passers/Kneebiters reunion took the spotlight off pointless OWC Albion's visit to promoted Hampshire Deers, because it was a bit of a classic. Micky Barnett's early opener for the Deers was quickly cancelled out by an own goal from Joey Bracey, but a Wesley Greaves freekick restored the lead and Bracey then scored at the right end on the stroke of half-time. When key OWC midfielder Noah Tremble suffered a career-worst injury soon after the restart their hill to climb got steeper, yet the second half was all the visitors' and in the last quarter of the game Wally Cant and Ravioli Downpipe both struck to drag it back to 3-3. When their defender Buck Aneering-Hedda was sent off with 7 minutes left OWC's luck seemed to have run out again – yet it was Downpipe's downward header from an 88th-min Spartacus Fray-Bentos corner that won a remarkable encounter for 10-man Albion. The two teams meet up in 7th and 6th places on 3 points each.

---

[Various Artist]

Division 1
FEATURED MATCH The big news of the day was leaders Eriskay Expression losing their 100% start, unbeaten record and grip on the summit in a shock 3-1 home reverse to previously winless Wednesday de la Zouch. Expression were a goal up after just 10 minutes, and dominating the ball, yet the visitors must've been clinging to HO's words from earlier this week after they surrendered a 3-1 lead over Turds in the last few minutes: "Wednesday are in the bottom three but such a dominant performance against a side that was in the top flight last season should be cause for optimism."
Sure enough, Wednesday took lemons and made lemonade, somehow converting just 38% possession into 7 shots to 3, and a 3-1 lead that they hung onto this time for a fine win that should be cause for optimism indeed. Eriskay drop to 3rd, with Zouch leaping to 5th.

It's Turd Division who go top of the second division, after pinching all three points from Wensleydale Blues. Mario Amberg's penalty had them in front at the break at the Snoop, but Blues had the better of the second half – meaning they will regret Julian Bellerby's solo effort not long into it was their only breakthrough. Gláucio Casqueira's 25-yarder against the run of play was thus enough to nick the hosts a narrow 2-1 win. The unfortunate Blues plunge to 7th.

Keeping pace with their fellow relegatees Turds on 7pts are St Pancras Starmers, who found some ruthless finishing in an actually fairly closely-contested game at home to Saltney Drawers. Two apiece for Bankai Tensa Zangetsu and Gandalf the Grey swept them to a 4-1 win, with Drawers youngster Jane Plough receiving a straight red 11 minutes from time to boot as they crash to 8th, below the Blues on GD.

The meeting of Heffron Hendecagon and Athletico Deva brought last season's top 2 in Division 2 back together, with both looking for a first win since promotion. It was Deva – with two draws prior – who made most of the running, and they emerged handsome 4-1 victors led by a brace from Godfrey Corpe. The Chester outfit are up to 4th, while pointless bottom club Heffron will have to console themselves with the fact that the five goals this time weren't all against them.

The latter's next outing will be a basement battle, as they travel this Thursday to a Banik Roystonov side who since losing their mojo in mid-promotion race in late March have suffered a lasting hangover for a whole month since, beating only the Kneebiters in their last 11 games. Two battling draws in opening week were followed on Monday by a 1-0 loss at AFC Csiki Monkeys, in a game where Banik showed some of the old needle traditional to this fixture by getting 4 players booked, but succumbed to László Oláh's 35th-minute finish. The Monkeys' first win since relegation hoists them to 6th, but Banik slump to 9th.

---

OTF
FEATURED MATCH Considering all their meetings have come in the relatively recent spell that they have been in the top flight, Four Candles have established a better head-to-head record against Dandy Town than just about anyone. Monday's eventful 2-2 draw at Hurlingham Park took them to 5-4-5 overall against the 13-time champions, after a game that could have been anybody's despite the Dandies having the better of the chances. Sean's team certainly made a rod for their own back in the first half, Abraão Cabanas scoring at the wrong end on 18 minutes then Olli Brann promptly missing a penalty that would have levelled it, before Andon Kocev ended the half by getting booked for a terrible challenge on Hugh Rust. The Highwaymen finally found their range on 70 minutes when Simão Merino rifled home one from way outside the area, and soon afterwards Colbert Portway headed in a corner to flip the score on its head. When Billy Hayes had an equaliser ruled out minutes later the game looked up for the Candles. However, with 6 minutes to play they were the ones to be awarded a penalty, and Apolo Arjona made no mistake from the spot.
Both sides fall 2 places, slightly harshly, with the unbeaten Dandies down to 4th and the 'Andles down to 6th.

Three games into Season 58 (not 59, as I prematurely billed it last week), and title-holders Croesoswallt Dragons are back on top of the OTF League. Vasili Gulko took just 6 minutes to put them ahead at home to Berkshire Swine, whose veteran keeper Joost van Rijswick then took a knock that he struggled to cope with for the remainder. Cliff Anthony prodded the hosts two up after half an hour, then Sigurd Anrell struck twice in three minutes as the Dragons tore the Swine apart in the closing stages.
33-year-old midfielder Anrell has only once topped 4 goals for a complete campaign, yet has 3 already this time; more incredibly, 35-year-old defender Øyvin Rindal has only twice previously scraped together 4 assists in a season, but on Monday he provided all 4 in an inspired performance.

That would have sent the champs top on GD even without the stoppage-time drama at Blue Fen. Great Ouse Town, who won both their games last week, went a goal up late in the first half of their local derby with Hideous Towns through Jim Arber, but Eivind Junge hit back before they could reach the interval. Neither side could break through in the second half, until Junge snatched a dramatic second in injury time to win it for the visitors.
It extends a miserable sequence in this fixture for Ouse: they won 1-0 here in the pair's first ever competitive meeting back in Season 40, yet in 7 visits over the four years since Towns have never lost again. For Hideous, meanwhile, it is a first top-flight victory in nearly a calendar year; their last such in the highest division was on the final day of Season 52 at home to Eriskay (dragging the Islanders through the trapdoor too), when a run of 4 wins in their last 6 narrowly failed to save them from the drop since unfortunately they hadn't won any of the preceding 14. They are up to 5th this midweek, Ouse slip to 2nd by a point.

Level with Gawpus' side are top-tier newbies Kernow Kensa, who are making a good fist of the adjustment so far. A trip to Zeugmaspor, 3rd in each of the last two campaigns, looked a potential bridge too far – yet it was the Cornishmen who dominated and ran out 3-1 winners with Dean Booker scoring twice before the break and Tyler Armstrong clinching it after. Kensa are up to the dizzy heights of 3rd place, Zeugma remain winless and in a troubling 9th.

That only leaves us to find Rejects Redux bottom of the MOTD running order for the second week in a row (sorry), after they were outpossessed and outchanced yet frustrated visitors Vita Mortis in a goalless stalemate at Criminal Court. Both sides are still seeking a first win of term, though Rejects climb two places off the bottom to 8th. Mortis drop one to 7th, having gone 2-2, 1-1, 0-0 so far, though they have at least run out of drawn scorelines of diminishing interest. They however face a trip to Dandy Town next as they look to break their duck.

[Sits]

Cracking report VA, thanks. Despite the ignominy of the Swine’s defeat.

[lambers]

Great report again, but I'm still gutted by that second-half Deer collapse, ruined my Monday evening that did.

[Antepli Ejderha]

It's looking like relegations in the Human League and OTF after a few seasons of title challenges that didn't quite get over the line. Early doors but the signs are there.

[Sits]

We’ll be giving you a run to the bottom in both those leagues AE.

[Hot Orange]

Great stuff, VA. Your knowledge of / research into Hideous Towns history is impressive indeed.

"... when a run of 4 wins in their last 6 narrowly failed to save them from the drop since unfortunately they hadn't won any of the preceding 14."

Ha, yes, that was unfortunate.

[nmrfox]

Lots of Tizer being drunk in Framleyshire tonight as both Framley Obstreperous and Whoft Fluffopolis are celebrating team of the month awards and Wripple Vetivers went the whole season undefeated to win the Brythonnic 4th Division (East).

[Various Artist]

Oh, amazing work all round Foxy, congratulations in triplicate! The Vetivers will be getting their due when I can get around to writing up the usual end-of-season Brythonnic roundups. Having only just done the MLX ones, or so it feels, plus the above OTF report, I may have to take a run-up at this one over the weekend though...


And glad you appreciated that bit of 'history' in my report, HO. I merely checked to see when Hideous' last top-flight win was, for the record, in case it was well back into your last season up there – but (re)discovered that you'd actually had a great little run of them right at the end of it. Which, on inspection of the relevant league table and the rest of your results that season, proved to be rather too little, too late... but which I thought was an interesting enough quirk to include in its entirety.

[matt j]

Midwest would be nowhere without Romano.

[Janik]

X11 Ladies Season 58 Matchday 7.

Division 1a

Drakaina                3 - 1   The Peach Blossoms
Heggarty 31', 73'               Ung 88'
Gitsis 93'


Division 2b

Kongo BK                1 - 0   Mauchline Belles
Drake 46'


Division 4h

Viking South Utsira     1 - 0   Doncaster Belles
A.Hovland 72'


Division 4i

Coxy Ladies Wulpen      4 - 1   Valentía CFF
Kerckhoeven 5', 90'             Gill 48'
Beyen 21'                       Kjellqvist (sent off) 89'
Kabasele 44'


Division 4j

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC  2 - 1   St.Hallvards IF
Luangpruksachat 53'             Eminefendic 22'
Ikmal 70'


Division 5:2

Bombay Green Rockets    3 - 1   Primera Nacional
Baumann 13'                     Ferrell 53'
Pöhlmann 38'
Wemerson 60'


Division 5:20

Ullapool Northern Star  5 - 1   Kiss FC
Almeida 25'                     Sterland 87'
Klovning 32'
Menashi 50', 56'
Taggart 68'


Division 5:27

Paradise Café           1 - 1   Zeugma Dostluk Spor
Fang Sang 77'                   Forsyth 59'


Division 5:28

Femme Fatale FC         2 - 0   Menywod Maeshafn
Texeira 55'
Bruksås 78'


Division 5:32

Guerreras del Amanecer  1 - 0   Csiki Girls
Johnston 34'


Division 6:33

The Anarchists          0 - 1   Rising Stars
                                Cosme 4'


Division 6:34

SLB Femenino            0 - 0   LNWR Locomotive


Division 6:41

Unione Calcio Lidingö   0 - 5   Hazeldean Inchmistress
                                Pedersen 8', 26', 50', 64'
                                Barnes 44'


Division 6:43

Hom FC                  1 - 0   Invisible Ladies
Knape 79'
Uva (sent off) 74'              Crouch (sent off) 67'


Division 6:56

Dublin City Womens FC   2 - 4   Tirana Lady
Sakataj 54'                     Manuela 33'
Åhrén 67'                       Glotova 37'
                                de Faria 72'
                                Björling (O.G.) 80'

Drakaina went into their final match of the first half of the season, against The Peach Blossoms, in an encouraging position in the Division 1a table and looking to improve on that by leapfrogging the visitors to Delphi.
The Dragons started strongly and would have been ahead as early as the 8th minute if referee Tony Nolan had seen Gael Heggarty’s strike the same way Heggarty did. However Drakaina and Heggarty were not to be denied for too long, the striker giving the hosts the lead on 31 minutes and this time it counted.
Etienne’s side were dominating possession of the ball and began to create chances regularly after the break. That pressure resulted in a second for both the team and Heggarty on 73 minutes. As she jogged back to halfway after this goal, Heggarty joked dangerously with Nolan (not known for his sense of humour) that she was keeping the matchball anyway!
The match looked won with that as The Peach Blossoms were not creating chances, until suddenly they did in the 88th minute and it was 2-1. That made for a nervous period until Elena Gitsis restored the two goal gap deep into stoppage time. That was the final serious action of the game, the result of which (as mentioned in the intro) saw Drakaina climb a spot up the standings to sit fourth. They are now closer to leaders JAV Idols (two points adrift) than they are to the relegation zone (three points clear). As the form team of the Division at the moment with four games unbeaten, how high can The Dragons dream?

Winless Mauchline Belles travelled to unbeaten Kongo BK and, well, need I say more than that?
Jdsx’s side were never going to find it easy and though they put up a stern rearguard effort, limiting Kongo to just a handful of shots in the match, The Belles didn’t really have enough of the ball themselves to suggest that desperately needed first win was about to appear. Instead they fell to another painful defeat as a lack of concentration immediately after the break saw a long range shot from Kongo sneak into the goal past an unsighted ‘keeper.
With 40% possession and just one shot all day Mauchline were not in with a proper chance of overturning that deficit and therefore fell to another defeat in what is proving to be a painful season. At the halfway point the Scots find themselves bottom of Division 2b by three points, with safety a further point above that.

Could Mauchline find themselves in the same Division as Viking South Utsira next season? Possibly, seeing as The Blood Eagles were leading Division 4h going into their match against a Doncaster Belles outfit who were towards the other end of the standings.
Donny understandable came with a plan to spoil and be resolute defensively. Viking tried to be expansive in breaking down the visitors, but mostly struggle to achieve that. Indeed the North Sea Islanders managed just one shot in the first half from 59% possession and were pretty deep into the second before getting another sight of goal. This second chance was young forward Anneke Hovland letting fly from all of 30 yards. Boss Velvet Android on the bench was midway through shouting “don’t shoot from there!!!” when the ball rippled the back of the Belles net and he rushed out to the touchline to jig in celebration. If he says “I told her to do that” don’t believe him!
The goal came on 72 minutes, leaving a nervous period for The Blood Eagles to negotiate to secure their way. One particularly moment was especially tense, Doncaster putting the ball past Monike Austrheim in the 82nd minute. Fortunately VSU were bailed out by the officials.
That kept it at 1-0 until the end, the win maintaining Utsira’s two point lead at the top of the table.

Coxy Ladies Wulpen faced an intriguing challenge against bottom side Valentía CFF as The Waders looked to keep their unbeaten run going.
What could be tricky against taking on a winless side that props up the table? Well, Valentía’s problem was not losing games – it was lack of goals. They had only tasted defeat once in their previous six games (albeit that one finished 4-0), the other five all ending as draws, four of them goalless ones.
Clearly the challenge for Janik’s team was going to be to break the visitors down. It took all of 5 minutes for Coxy Ladies to do that, Noémie Kerckhoeven heading home. There was a brief scare for Wulpen when Valentía had the ball in their goal soon after, being pegged back to 1-1 would have been a serious loss of momentum, but once this was disallowed The Waders assumed complete control.
In fact the first half was a near massacre as Wulpen had 10 sights of goal. Even with the visitors exceptional ‘keeper this was enough to generate three goals, Charlotte Beyen (21 minutes) and Jessica Kabasele (44) adding to the opener. The Spaniards pulled one back with their only shot of the game soon after the interval, but as that was just their second goal of the season a full comeback was never likely. Instead Wulpen added one more in the 90th minute, Kerckhoeven finishing off what she had started.
That final goal came within 60 seconds of Valentía’s Åsa Kjellqvist being sent off for a second bookable offence. Her first, around 15 minutes earlier, had forced Beyen from the field and meant she will spend 11 days visiting the Curlew’s Nest treatment room.
The win, and the margin of it, has left Wulpen breathing down the neck of Division 4i leaders FC Nee-Nee. The two sides are level on points with just one goal Goal Difference between them. Third spot is a further two points back.

The last game of the first half of the campaign pitted Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC against second-in-the-table St.Hallvards IF.
The visitors opened the scoring midway through the first half, but that was very much against the run-of-play of the period which The Sea Spirits obviously dominated with 61% of the ball and two of the three chances created.#
If SeanoftheShed’s side were on top in the first half, then they were even more so after the break, upping their share of the ball to 67% and now creating chances at regular intervals. One of these was a 53rd minute cross in the direction of Thao-Ap Luangpruksachat, who cleverly flicked her header home to level matters.
20 minutes from time The Sea Goddesses struck again, Rahma Ikmal steering home from reasonably close range. After that Kanjeng comfortably held Hallvards off to secure the win. If you had told anyone unfamiliar with the situation who watched the game at Merapi-Kraton-South Sea that the result was a bit of an upset, they wouldn’t have believed you such was Kanjeng’s clear superiority on the day.
Even with this win in their back pockets, the Indonesians remain in the Division 4j relegation zone. They have closed the gap on safety to one point though.

[Janik]

The last team of the first half to face Bombay Green Rockets were Primera Nacional as the sides clashed at The Common.
Some games of Football are dull affairs, with little happening for long periods of time. This wasn’t one of those. Chances flowed freely at both ends, though tipped around two to one in shots at the Nacional goal that at that of the Green Rockets. Referee Frank Redkard was also keen to get in on the action and distributed cards like confetti, eventually booking three players from each side, and throwing in a disallowed goal for the visitors for good measure. There was also an injury to Bombay’s Isabel Lock that will keep her out for 10 days.
That was all the extraneous action. The important stuff was the goals, which were in proportionately plentiful supply. Barbara Baumann opened the scoring on 13 minutes with a long range blast, and Eileen Pöhlmann put The Rockets 2-0 up at the interval with a 38th minute strike, the disallowed effort for Nacional coming between the two Bombay goals. The visitors did register on 53 minutes, but any hopes of a comeback were short-lived as Márcia Wemerson restored the two goal advantage for HKS3’s side on the hour mark with a direct free-kick strike.
The home win was very much to form, Bombay starting the day as unbeaten Division 5:2 leaders with Primera winless and bottom. The Green Rockets also ended the day top of the pile, though their goal difference lead on FC Dench was cut from +4 to +2 as Dench won an even livelier game 6-2.

As noted previously, Division 5:20 has split into distinct top and bottom halves. That makes any games between sides in the same section crunch encounters. Ones such as Ullapool Northern Star against Kiss FC.
This was an all-Scottish affair, with the visitors travelling up to the North-West coast from North Lanarkshire. The journey seemed to have taken something out of them though, as Ullapool took total command of the opening half. Their dominance was well rewarded, Núbia Almeida heading Delicatemoth’s side ahead in the 25th minute and Renate Klovning (who, being an Utsiran native, probably finds Ross and Cromaty has too fast a pace of life and is overly cosmopolitan) turning in a corner to make it two on 32 minutes.
Star continued to make hay after the break, Sonia Menashi netting twice on 50 and 56 minutes respectively before Julie Taggart made it five on 68 minutes. Ullapool then knocked off for the final quarter, and a lack of concentration cost them their clean sheet when a late corner was headed in. But that was really just an irritation and of no real import.
The big win lifted Ullapool out of the 5:20 drop zone, to the top of the ‘other’ table, i.e. fifth spot. DM’s side are three points and +7 GD clear of trouble at the turn.

The top two in Division 5:27 clashed as Zeugma Dostluk Spor travelled to Paradise Café.
These sides were also the top two scorers in the section, but neither has been really that prolific. Indeed Zeugma were yet to get into double figures on goals scored prior to this match. A tight contest was to be expected; one ensued, with precisely no shots on goal occurring in the first 45 minutes. Things got a little better after the break, to the point where an actual goal was scored. It went to Antepli Ejderha’s side, Rachel Forsyth heading home in the 59th minute.
Zeugma were on top in general play, so there was hope amongst the away fans that they would hold on against a seemingly toothless host. However Paradise Café are unbeaten this season but not top for a reason – they appear to be draw specialists. And they got another when a 77th minute breakaway that produced their only shot of the game resulted in an equaliser.
Two points dropped for Zeugma? Well yes, a little, but no damage done as 5:27’s third and fourth placed sides were also meeting and drawing simultaneously, and the team in fifth lost. The top of the table is basically unchanged, with Zeugma three points clear of second and third places.

Three wins from their last five league games had improved Menywod Maeshafn’s league position to mid-table, but was that run enough to indicate the Welsh side could trouble Division 5:28 leaders Femme Fatale FC on their own turf?
For 45 minutes things looked OK for IsThatcherDeadYet’s side; Femme had had fractionally more of the ball but only that – the first half was entirely chanceless. However it all went wrong early in the second period as with just about their first chance of the day, the leaders scored. Now Maeshafn had to come out and attack, with the predictable consequence that they got picked off for a second on 78 minutes.
Defeat wasn’t too costly for Maeshafn though as only the top two teams in 5:28 won on the day. They remain fourth, though they are now six points adrift of the play-off spot rather than three. The gap to the drop zone stays at three points.

Csiki Girls face a big challenge to their perfect record as they went to visit a familiar, and tough, rival in Guerreras del Amanecer.
The visitors opened the match in decent form, having lots of the ball. They thought they had taken the lead in the 14th minute when Robin Neaves turned home, but ref Dick Tator didn’t agree. Instead it was Amanecer who struck first on 34 minutes. That actually summed up a weird first half in which Ad hoc’s side had the lion’s share of possession, 59% of the ball, but could only fashion one chance (to Tator’s satisfaction) whilst Guerreras made four.
The second half was more of the same, to a lesser extent. This time Csiki Girls had 57% of possession… and didn’t manage a shot on goal at all in the half! The hosts had one effort, didn’t convert it, but didn’t need to due to their first half strike.
And with that, Csiki Girls 100% winning record is a thing of the past. But it retains a legacy, as the lead built during it means The Csiki’s remain top of Division 5:32 despite this reverse. They are now just two points clear, though.

[Janik]

We will skip past Solent Sirens for now. Hopefully Kev will be back in charge of them when circumstances are different, but until then…

That makes Rising Stars our next port of call. And a very pleasant stop it is, given Blamb’s side sat proudly atop of Division 6:33 with not just a perfect 6 wins from 6, but also without a goal conceded prior to their match at The Anarchists.
The hosts were struggling near the foot of the table, but had picked up an active manager a few weeks prior to this encounter which made them a dangerous foe. They were also full of goals, having registered 5-4 and 4-2 defeats and a 4-3 win previously this term. The Stars opted to fight fire with fire, going for an attacking 4-3-3 formation. It produced a swift affirmation of its effectiveness when defender Joaquina Cosme headed the first goal of her career (in her 65th game) to put The Ascenders ahead after only 4 minutes.
The visiting fans relaxed back in their seat and waited for the goals to start flowing after that. Except… they didn’t. The Stars had much the better of the first half in possessional terms (64%) but only created one further shooting opportunity which didn’t add to Cosme’s strike. After the break the paucity was even greater – no chances at all. Fortunately not many for The Anarchists either (whose kit isn’t black, which I suppose is anarchic in itself), making the solitary goal enough.
The only notable incident of the second period in fact was a painful one, more a failing Star than a Rising one as midfielder Sarah Sinclair picked up a 13-day knock. Given Sinclair is the club’s best player her absence will make a difference. Enough to disrupt a side that have now played every single other side in their league, beaten each in turn and not conceded to any of them? Probably not, especially on their own turf.

A clash of the Titans sent LNWR Locomotive (played 6, won 6, scored 23, conceded 1) to SLB Femenino (6/6, 17-1).
Given the set-up it was entirely to be expected that the game was cagey. Or rather dull as hell. Both defences were on top from start to finish, with just a tiny handful of chances to punctuate to the day. The majority fell to The Steamers, but by that I mean two out of three rather than any significant glut. Viktor Boskovic’s side took neither, but the same was also true of hosts SLB with their one sight of goal. That that came from a clear edge in possession in the home side’s favour is a marker of how diligently the Locomotive defence played.
The stalemate arguably suited LNWR the better of the two clubs as they were away from home and already top of the Division 6:34 table on goal difference. Obviously they stay there with all other teams having lost at least twice (i.e. to The Steamers and SLB as a minimum) and now move on to next week’s return crunch match, with this one to take place at Mollington Street.

Given Hazeldean Inchmistress’ frustrations with the season to date, someone was going to cope it. That ‘someone’ turned out to be Unione Calcio Lidingö.
The hosts have a strong squad, which had lifted them to fourth in the table despite the lack of a manager. But they were no match for The Imperials in this one, both in general and striker Line Pedersen in particular. She opened the scoring after just 8 minutes play, doubled the advantage on 26 (both goals headers from corners) and then showed few signs of abating.
The next to contribute was someone other than Pedersen though, Kelli Barnes making it three for Foxy265’s side just before the interval. After the break it was back to the Line show, Pedersen getting her third header of the day on 50 minutes (though this one from open play) before scoring with her feet, just to show she could, with 64 on the clock.
5-0 it finished, but even with that Hazeldean stay fourth in the Division 6:41 standings, seven points adrift of the leaders and six behind second place.

Invisible Ladies were looking for a bright spot in a disappointing season when they visited bottom-of-the-table Hom FC.
What Invisble boss Pebblethefish couldn’t have predicted was that home goalie Evy Wangsvik would pick this game to have a stormer. The one time The See-Throughs did manage to beat Wangsvik, Rachel Crouch firing home in the 15th minute, idiot ref George Buske (skill 2 but harshness of 9) intervened. More on him later…
The failure to score made The See-Throughs vulnerable to a sucker punch, particularly as back-up goalie Nkelani Zaidi was getting some important minutes under her belt. But before we get to that, we have to deal with Buske’s folly. He sent off Invisible’s Crouch after 67 minutes for no discernible reason. And he enjoyed that so much that he repeated the trick 7 minutes later, showing a straight red card to Hom’s Eunice Uva.
With all that going on the Football took something of a back seat until the 79th minute, when the hosts got their second chance of the day to shoot at Zaidi’s net. And took it. That condemned The See-Throughs to another painful defeat in a season of them. It leaves them stuck in seventh place in the Division 6:43 table.

Our final match also involved an OTF side currently in the lower reaches of a table, Dublin City Womens FC occupying seventh place in the Division 6:56 standings ahead of their match against promotion chasers Tirana Lady.
The opening 45 minute was pretty well all the visitors, who opened up a 2-0 lead by the interval. However a stirring teamtalk from Dublin boss Mortal Joe appeared to work wonders as his team came out fired up after the break. Anita Sakataj pulled one back with a direct free-kick on 54 minutes, and then, on 67, Eila Åhrén raced clear and slotted home to bring things level.
At that point the momentum appeared to all be with Dublin, Tirana hadn’t created a second-half chance, which meant it rather took the wind out of their sails when Tirana retook the lead with their first shot of the period in the 72nd minute. Dublin did score again in the remainder of the game, but sadly Mona Björling’s intervention in the 80th minute only succeeded in steering the ball past her own ‘keeper.
Dublin remain seventh in the 6:56 standings after this loss.

[Various Artist]

Thanks Janik!

Indeed the North Sea Islanders managed just one shot in the first half from 59% possession and were pretty deep into the second before getting another sight of goal. This second chance was young forward Anneke Hovland letting fly from all of 30 yards. Boss Velvet Android on the bench was midway through shouting “don’t shoot from there!!!” when the ball rippled the back of the Belles net and he rushed out to the touchline to jig in celebration. If he says “I told her to do that” don’t believe him!

Yeah, I, um, told her to do that...

[Various Artist]

Vita Mortis have just taken possession of a new youth striker, after I instructed the academy a couple of days ago to tee up a Dutch forward. I vacillated for a moment on seeing he's an 18/4 – but decided I couldn't resist, because he rejoices in the name Dave van der Schaaf.

[Janik]

This seasons Ladies League Cup has seen OTF sides falling by the wayside earlier than what I perceive as normal, to the point where only two are left to fly the flag in Round 4. Maybe one of these (or even both?) can be a real outlier and make it deep into the later stages of the competition? To find out, read on…

Drakaina                2 - 0   Goal Diggers
Barry 20'
Sietaridis 73'

Goal Diggers            0 - 1   Drakaina
                                Sietaridis (pen) 16'

Drakaina win 3-0 on aggregate


The Norfolk Broads      1 - 2   Bombay Green Rockets
Quinn 68'                       Azanha 17'
                                Pöhlmann 86'

Bombay Green Rockets    3 - 2   The Norfolk Broads
Panzer 3'                       Belmonte 52'
Pöhlmann 17'                    Quinn 79'
Alberdi 57'

Bombay win 5-3 on aggregate

Drakaina had an apparently favourable draw, being paired with bottom Division side Goal Diggers.
The order of the sides out of the hat meant The Dragons were the hosts in the first leg, and were looking to put themselves in a commanding position from that. However the visitors looked well organised at the back and were making life tricky for Drakaina to create early chances. In fact the Greeks only got one sight of goal in the opening 45 minutes. Fortunately that opportunity, which came with 20 on the clock, fell to Susanna Barry and she was dead-eyed with it.
The second half was marginally more expansive, with two shots to one across the period in favour of the hosts. They also once again managed the only goal of the half, Laria Sietaridis firing in from range on 73 minutes. 2-0 is maybe not quite as comprehensive as manager Etienne and side were hoping for pre-game, but it is a good lead and puts Goal Diggers in a tricky position of having to come out and attack in the second leg, whilst being simultaneously aware that conceding just once is probably curtains as that immediately doubles the goals they would need to be score.
This made Robert Nixon’s decision to award Drakaina a 16th minute penalty in the return game controversial, when it really shouldn’t have been as it was obviously the right call. Sietaridis took the responsibility, calmly put the ball home and killed the tie as a contest. The rest of the match saw The Dragons in ‘contain’ mode, limiting Goal Diggers to just a handful of chances.
The only really notable thing to come out of the rset of the game from a Drakaina perspective was a 26-day horror injury picked up by recently signed 32/16 defender Elvy Papphammar, in what was only her third game for the Greeks since joining the club. It was also, worryingly, her second 26-day injury of 2020 with a 12-dayer having occurred back in 2019. Is she becoming fragile as she comes to the end of her career?
If Papphammar is to feature again in Drakaina’s cup run they will need to progress by a number of rounds, as it now goes to one-off matches at the Arena. Hopefully the one against Gajas Peladas of Division 2a will be the first of a number of such fixtures for The Dragons.

The challenge was tougher for Bombay Green Rockets as they went up against The Norfolk Broads, who operate one steps higher up the pyramid than Bombay.
The opening leg was at the Etihad Phoned Home stadium [that is a truly weak joke name for a ground]. Would Bombay be forced back and looking to keep the tie alive to take back to India, or would they carry the fight to the Broads? The later was the chosen method of boss HKS3, and that go-forward proved an inspired choice when Musa Azanha fired The Green Rockets in front from a corner in the 17th minute.
The Rockets came into the game on a hot streak (well, that is entirely appropriate, isn’t it?) and their chances of extending that winning run from six to seven games grew substantially when Norfolk’s ‘keeper Susanne van Bronkhurst injured herself running back out for the second-half and was immediately substituted. Subbed by an 18/4 defender, playing well out of position. The Broads did not have a spare ‘keeper on the bench as their back-up has degraded to skill 0.
That gave encouragement to Bombay that if they got a chance for a shot on target they should take it as their chances of scoring were high. At the other end Norfolk were up against an inspired Mathilda Grünewald, who was turning in a grade-19 display that is only one off her best ever showing. Despite that Grünewald was beaten once as Norfolk levelled matters midway through the period.
It stayed at 1-1 until the dying minutes. But at that point Bombay finally got the ball to a player with a sight of goal. Eileen Pöhlmann got her shot away past the scrambling defence and saw it sail past Cassandra Conlon in the hosts net. It finished 2-1, which puts Bombay in the strong position of being able to lose 1-0 in the return and still go through. That said, they will probably be chasing more goals as van Bronkhurst’s injury looks likely to keep her out of the match, and there is no sign of an alternative ‘keeper heading to Norfolk.
And yes, come the second leg, it was defender Namrata Deol between the sticks for the hosts. The Bombay players took a shoot on sight policy because of that, which paid immediate dividends as Agnes Panzer’s tame 3rd minute effort was allowed to squirm in. It was Pöhlmann’s turn to let fly with 17 on the clock; her strike was crisper and Deol was nowhere near it.
Norfolk now had a mountain to climb, which must have been a very confusing challenge for them. They took a first step with a goal back in the 52nd minute, but that was no more than a little foothill conquered and five minutes later the visitors found out they were all the way back down the other side of it again as Josefa Alberdi became the latest to embarrass Deol from distance.
The gap was cut back to two goals when the Broads netted for a second time on the night on 79 minutes. Another for the visitors might have made things fraught, but it wasn’t forthcoming as The Green Rockets prevailed 5-3 on aggregate. The win (a ninth in a row in all competitions!) takes Bombay on to the Xpert Arena and a Round 5 clash with Royal Fighters of Division 3d.


Round 5 draw - single matches at a neutral venue

Bombay Green Rockets         vs   Royal Fighters (3d)
Drakaina                     vs   Gajas Peladas (2a)

[andrew7610]

The win (a ninth in a row in all competitions!) takes Bombay on to the Xpert Arena and a Round 5 clash with Royal Fighters of Division 3d.

The second leg victory also clinched April's Team of the Month in the Xpert Ladies League for the Rockets. I haven't really changed much about the team that only just stayed up on the last day of the season last time round, but it seems to be going OK for some reason.

[Hot Orange]

OTF Season 58 Round 4 Round-Up

OTF

Match of the Day
Kernow Kensa 1 (Armstrong 79) Four Candles 0
The top flight's two youngest clubs met at the Kernowek Stadium. Kernow Kensa joined the league in Season 43 and are in their debut OTF season. Four Candles arrived a season later and are already in their seventh top-tier campaign, having made impressively swift progress through the divisions. The Candles' start to the current term had seen them record a 1 in each of the W, D and L columns, while Kernow had bounced back well from a chastening opening-day defeat at Great Ouse Town with two wins to move up to 3rd. The Cornishmen extended that winning run to three as a dominant performance earned them the three points. The injury-hit Candles struggled to compete throughout, failing to trouble the home defence, and their hopes of hanging on for a point were dashed when Tyler Armstrong headed home Bernt Räv's cross 11 minutes from time. Defeat leaves the Candles in 6th place, while Kernow - who at this stage of last season, and some time after it, were in the Division 1 relegation places - are top of the league.

Elsewhere
The leaders at the start of the day, Croesoswallt Dragons, surrendered top spot as they were held to a 1-1 home draw by Great Ouse Town. The visitors went in front late in the first half through Romeo Livermore, but Sigurd Anrell levelled things up on the hour - a fourth goal of the season for the Dragons midfielder. Ouse slip one place to 4th, overtaken by Dandy Town, who were 2-0 winners at home to Vita Mortis. The Dandies had hardly threatened until the final ten minutes, when Geraldo Cambundo and then Simão Merino delivered the match-winning blows, leaving the unfortunate visitors still without a win and in the bottom three. Also in the relegation places are Rejects Redux - beaten 2-0 by headers from Cristofao Edilson and Devon Newton at Berkshire Swine, who move out of the drop zone into 7th after their first win of the season - and Zeugmaspor, who were defeated at home by a newly promoted side for the second time in the week as they lost a lively encounter with Hideous Towns 3-2. They went in front early on through Ogün Alaçayir, but saw their lead overturned when Towns strikers Eivind Junge and Arnold van Aerle both scored shortly after half-time. A second goal from Alaçayir brought Zeugma level again only for van Aerle to thump in a long-range winner minutes later. Zeugmaspor slip to the bottom of the table while Towns stay 5th.

Division 1

Match of the Day
AFC Csiki Monkeys 0 St Pancras Starmers 1 (The Grey pen. 63)
Of these two clubs relegated from the top flight last season, the renamed St Pancras Starmers had made the better start, collecting seven points from nine to sit in 2nd place, with Csiki Monkeys three points worse off in 6th. However, the Monkeys were perhaps buoyed by Monday's win over Banik Roystonov as they dominated the first half without being able to find the crucial breakthrough. Pál Jakabffy was closest just before the break when his shot flew past keeper Son Goku but smacked against the post, leaving the Starmers relieved to go in at half-time on level terms. The visitors improved in a more even second half and the game swung decisively in their favour when referee Will Taykabribe awarded them a penalty just after the hour. Gandalf The Grey tucked it away confidently with his wand of a right/left* foot and the Monkeys were unable to find a match-saving response. They slip into the bottom three while St Pancras stay in 2nd. * Delete as appropriate

Elsewhere
Turd Division kept up their good start with a 3-1 home win over Saltney Drawers. It was a close game, the sides exchanging goals in the opening stages of the second half before the outcome was settled in the final 20 minutes when Eliot Deary netted twice for the Turds. Saltney drop to 9th while the Turds stay top, ahead of the Starmers on goal difference. The top two, who meet on Monday, already have a four-point advantage over the rest after 3rd-placed Eriskay Expression were beaten at Wensleydale Blues, where Julian Bellerby's first-half header proved to be the winner, Wensleydale thus join Eriskay on six points and climb to 5th, just below Athletico Deva, who drew 1-1 at Wednesday de la Zouch, Dobrivoje Boranovic burying their only legitimate chance of the game to cancel out Jean-Christophe Bellier's goal for Wednesday. Deva thought they had pinched all three points when Lorenc Abazi found the net on 87 minutes, but the officials had spotted an infringement of an unspecified nature to curtail the celebrations. Wednesday fall to 7th in the packed mid-table, with Banik Roystonov climbing to 6th thanks to their first win of the campaign, a 3-0 home success against struggling stragglers Heffron Hendecagon, who - let's look at the positives - are starting to concede fewer goals. The pick of the strikes was Freire Rosando's effort from outside the box that opened the scoring.

Division 2

Match of the Day
Cods of War 0 Locomotiv Noj 2 (Papagiannakis 44, Edge 57)
After promotion in their debut season, the Cods had apparently adjusted well to the step up to Division 2 and after three games were unbeaten in 3rd place, just behind Locomotiv Noj on goal difference. However, any hopes that their home clash with the aforementioned Noj would be a tight top-of-the-table affair were dashed as the visitors put in an impressively dominant display to put the newly promoted side in their place, just as they had at die Ambosse on Monday. Noj spent the first half hour carefully assessing the Cods threat before concluding that there wasn't one and going on to create numerous chances. They seemed to identify Cods keeper Potros Hermiz as the weak link, with both Mavras Alvertis and Woolley Edge attempting to lob him from distance only to be denied by the woodwork, while Ioanneís Papagiannakis successfully nutmegged him to give Noj the lead. When Edge hammered a second goal past the hapless Hermiz just before the hour, the points were secure. The battered Cods drop out of the promotion places to 4th, while Locomotiv remain stationary in 2nd.

Elsewhere
The bottom v top clash played out predictably, with leaders Whoft Fluffopolis easing to a 4-0 win in Nieuwegein Kneebiters' playground and maintaining their 100% record. Judd Leslie-Singleton and Whymark Steggles - a man destined for stardom from the moment he was named - were the stand-out performers as they each set up a goal for the other. The only games die Ambosse failed to win in their debut season were the two matches with Hampshire Deers, which both ended in draws. But there was no repeat as the teams met again one level up, with die Ambosse outplaying their hosts at Tice Meadow to record a 3-0 win that did scant justice to their superiority and which lifted them to 3rd place. Teenage midfielder Carlo Manicone caught the eye, setting up goals for Gerhard Behremi and Davide Planceret. The Deers drop to 7th after a third successive defeat. Brian Munchingflapjack went ahead midway through the first half at OWC Albion through Natan Pandjuro, but the hosts came back strongly and ran out fairly comfortable 3-1 winners, with the ever reliable Bowery Tarpaulin netting the equaliser and teeing up Ravioli Downpipe for the clincher. Albion climb to 5th while the Flapjacks remain in 8th, struggling to build on the promise they showed last season. Great Northern Railway are 9th and Pinewood Passers 6th after they fought out a goalless draw that will not live long in the memory.

Division 3

Match of the Day
Eintracht Midwest 1 (Romano 73) New Dresden 3 (Hausmann 41, Lämmermann 55, Ebner 78)
Eintracht Midwest and New Dresden finished level on points and side-by-side in 5th and 4th respectively in their debut seasons, but they have had contrasting fortunes so far this term, with Eintracht bottom of the early table and Dresden in 2nd. The first hour of their encounter at the Isaac Bradley Memorial Stadium reflected those diverse starts, with Dresden dominating and establishing a two-goal lead through Martin Hausmann's header just before the interval and Roland Lämmermann's long-range strike ten minutes after the break. However, the hosts stirred themselves in the closing stages and looked capable of sneaking a point as they started to create chances and Liam Romano thumped in his second free kick of the week to reduce the arrears. But they were then caught chasing the equaliser, as Marko Ebner broke free to collect Lämmermann's through pass and slide home a decisive third goal for the visitors. Both sides' league position remains unchanged.

Elswehere
Remaining three points clear of Dresden at the top are Steaua Bridge, who made it four wins from four with a 3-0 away win against the youngsters of Wharfedale Generals, who stay in 8th. Props to Steaua defender Dãnilã Moritã, who picked up a knock in the opening seconds but waved the physio away, declaring he'd just give it 90 minutes and then see. Managers were conspicuously absent in the other two games. The Blomstrands had at least seen their boss in the previous fortnight, and that relatively recent involvement perhaps helped them organise themselves to a 3-0 win at Llandudno Jet Set that lifts them into the promotion places. The dugouts have long been empty at Veni Vici Vigata and Richmond P&P, but the teams are doing quite well considering, both remaining just outside the top three after a 1-1 draw. HelloThere's enjoyment of their day off will have been tempered by the news that they drop to 6th.

[Sits]

Outstanding.

[Various Artist]

Kernow - who at this stage of last season, and some time after it, were in the Division 1 relegation places - are top of the league

Amazing! I'd forgotten how much of a late run they went on last time just to get here, quite aside from the unexpected jolt of seeing them at the very summit a fortnight into their maiden top-flight campaign.

[Various Artist]

The second leg victory also clinched April's Team of the Month in the Xpert Ladies League for the Rockets. I haven't really changed much about the team that only just stayed up on the last day of the season last time round, but it seems to be going OK for some reason.

Great work Andrew, that's no mean feat indeed – I'm pretty certain the Xpert Ladies is X11's most populous league by some margin, so you've beaten in the order of a thousand other managers to claim that accolade.