Champions League 2018/19: A Visca Wanda

[EIM]

More to the point, why did Man Utd buy him? ('Because they could', I imagine.)

It was a vanity purchase to an extent, but it was also because Martial hides in games, particularly away games. And while Sanchez is playing like a fucking dog, he'll never go missing. He'll always show for the ball and try something. Granted he usually fucks it up, but baby steps.

There's no identity to this team. No recognisable style of play. No one knows what they're supposed to be doing. It's just lumped long to Lukaku, who isn't really a target man, and when he chases it down and gets it there's no one within fifty yards of him. The players not only look bereft of ideas, and unarsed, they look shit scared. Last night was Seville mark II. A decent team would have beaten United by 2 last night.

Pogba is by far Manchester United's most talented player, but my God I nearly went full Souness at him last night (only missing the underlying motive of racism). Fucking around in the tunnel with Kondogbia, then smooching with their keeper going off the pitch. Fucking hell mate. Have a bit of sense about you. This is like coming out of West Ham, Daniel Taylor (I think) said that Pogba was asked for a quote and joked back "Are you kidding? You want me killed?" He's a fucking idiot. Just shut up, and play some fucking football for once.

My solution is scorched Earth. Fuck everyone off. Owners, Woodward, Mourinho, almost all of the players, most of the fans. That's probably not going to happen sadly, and my vision of a Cantona-led Manchester United playing expansive football, smashing teams across the globe, before defeating evil like in that Nike advert will have to wait. So in the meantime sell Pogba for being a shameless flirt with other clubs, for undermining the manager, for having a dickhead of an agent who touts him around like a Cheetham Hill Road brass, for turning the club into a soap opera, and to illustrate that a player just can't use the fact he's marketable to try and remove a manager. And when Pogba has gone sack Mourinho for being yesterday's man, and allowing all this to happen.

Failing that, keep it like it is and we'll Moyes it to the end of the season reading the same social media posts from the same United players. We know it's not good enough but we remain #UNITED and we will improve. Thank you for your support, we will do our best to repay it in the next game. No one is more disappointed than us, and we will fight to get back to where we belong. I was really surprised by some of Cai Guo-Qiang’s works and his drawing technique using gunpowder. Overall, this is a very interesting and well-designed museum Hugs xxx.

[EIM]

Also that huddle. A fucking huddle. Grow up, lads.

[Jah Womble]

I thought it was "So someone else couldn't"..

That, too.

[Ray de Galles]

Hang on, Paul Pogba turned Man United in to a soap opera?! Has he got a fucking time machine or something?

[EIM]

Ok. He turned us from a good soap opera like Corrie into a shit one like Hollyoaks.

[Satchmo Distel]

Footballers' Whines

[Satchmo Distel]

If two or three of Real, Bayern and Man City finish runners-up, the R16 might be tasty. Pep's tears.

[anton pulisov]

Ajax goal last night was lovely. Young footballers dancing around established internationals. Jumpers for goalposts.

Two minutes in

[ursus arctos]

They could have easily won by two or three goals if their finishing was more clinical, but that isn't surprising given the age and experience of the team and the fact that they were facing Neuer. They looked like a completely different team from the one that was toyed with by PSV.

[Jah Womble]

Neymar at last showing the positive side of his game with two tidy finishes in as many minutes against Red Star.

[Jah Womble]

PSG four goals up at h/t.

Praying that this is the only 'masterclass' in the ECL this evening...

[Wouter D]

Late corner delivers three points to Schalke. Not exactly a spectacular encounter.

[Sean of the Shed]

Well that's not the start Spurs wanted.

[Jah Womble]

I'll give it twenty minutes and then maybe do something else...

[EIM]

Blistering start in the Ursus Derby

[Ray de Galles]

Has the Tottenham penalty area iced over unseasonably early? That’s the only explanation I can come up with for the amount of their players sliding around when the goal went in.

[Jah Womble]

The pitch itself looks pretty threadbare.

Not that that's any excuse for our Keystone opening...

[Janik]

Well, the pitch looks a mess, that might have had some something to do with it. Though not Lloris, his slide to nowhere (recalling a piece of Rugby League commentary about a fire engine racing to the wrong fire) was entirely self-inflicted. Not sure the state of the playing surface is Wembley's fault, mind. The new White Hart Lane was supposed to be open by now, they will have taken other bookings (the recent Joshua fight) thinking they had a blank calendar otherwise.

[San Bernardhinault]

Is Spurs's kit meant to make it look, from a distance, like they're wearing abdominal hernia support belts?

[Jah Womble]

Oh well. At least we qualified, I s'pose.

[Janik]

Yeah, great finish, but again Spurs defence was playing statues. No-one was close to a Barcelona player.

[Ray de Galles]

Wow, what a build up and strike.

[Ray de Galles]

Well, the pitch looks a mess, that might have had some something to do with it. Though not Lloris, his slide to nowhere (recalling a piece of Rugby League commentary about a fire engine racing to the wrong fire) was entirely self-inflicted. Not sure the state of the playing surface is Wembley's fault, mind. The new White Hart Lane was supposed to be open by now, they will have taken other bookings (the recent Joshua fight) thinking they had a blank calendar otherwise.

A few weeks of NFL coming up isn’t going to help it much either.

[Janik]

If the Spurs defence and midfield don't pull themselves together, they are going for five or six here...

[Third rate Leszno]

Keita taken off on a golf buggy for Liverpool with some sort of pelvic/groin tweak by the looks of it.