Hollerbach's Currywurst - Bundesliga 2017/18

[treibeis]

imp is close enough to Mainz to wear his Narrenkappe. For treibeis in cold, Lutheran Hamburg, there is no organised idiocy outside the Volksparkstadion. Maybe he could join Lübeck's Senate in lieue of a Karnivalsverein.

Lübeck's got a Senat? What does that look like, then? Bauer Claussen, Bauer Mommsen and Bauer Thomsen sitting in the Dorfkrug, with a bottle of Klarer, three glasses and a plate of Schmalzbrot in front of them, going, "Right, who's for knocking down that old, crooked double tower thing down the road from the station and then concreting it over to create more parking spaces for our John Deeres? All of us? Jo. Motion carried. Jo. Nich' lang schnacken, Kopp in' Nacken!"?

[G-Man]

Oh, your thinking of whatever cowshed it is that runs the city of Kiel.

In Lübeck, they have names like Schopenhauer, Saxe and Schindler, and drink coffee at Niederegger and Rotspon red wine at the Schiffergesellschaft (which is rather classier than drinking Astra und 'n Korn at the kiosk, as is the prevalent culture in Hamburg. I hear it's an especially popular past-time for the whole family at Minigolf facilities). There's a Hinsen in Lübeck's Senat, but he was born in Paderborn.

[treibeis]

(which is rather classier than drinking Astra und 'n Korn at the kiosk, as is the prevalent culture in Hamburg. I hear it's an especially popular past-time for the whole family at Minigolf facilities).

Don't sell schnapps. Never have, never will. If I did, I'd spend half my working life calling ambulances (probably for myself).

I'm even wary about selling Grog in winter. The only people who get one are OAPs with ruddy, Seeleresque complexions who look like they know what Grog's about and who probably had Grog sandwiches in their lunch box at primary school.

[Stumpy Pepys]

I may have had the odd Astra at the Minigolf …

Do you not sell Glühwein in winter?

[treibeis]

Yes, we sell Glühwein. With rum or Amaretto as an accompaniment. What we don't do, however, is sell the accompaniment as a stand-alone item.

You did, indeed, have the odd Astra when you were here. I struggled to pay my gas bill for September because of it. But, no, no matter. The Lady I Walked To The Registry Office With wrote it all down. You will be hearing from us forthwith.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Gluhwein is the very devil's sputum.

Anyway. In other news to lift G-Man's heart, Koeln have beaten Hertha 3-1.

EDIT: is there a Pokal thread?

[G-Man]

I deliberately didn't follow the game on LiveScore. But when before I eventually got around to looking it up, I was absolutely certain that Köln had won. Is this the moment the knot burst?

On Glühwein, Toby is a maniac who needs locking up.

[imp]

Köln won thanks to my lucky red DC United woollen hat - I was slightly chilly during the first half so fished it out of my bag as I seemed to be in something of a mixed fan section. They then scored as many goals in half an hour as they've done all season in the league. You're welcome.

They did nothing for the first 35 minutes, and Horn kept them in the game with two or three very sharp saves. Then Bittencourt tried a shot from the Robben angle which was headed towards the corner flag when the excellent Guirassy managed to leap and re-direct it somewhere vaguely towards goal. Zoller opportunistically snaffled it in. Utter fluke, but just what they needed - they all ran over and hugged Stöger, which I thought was nice. And then they played with a new-found confidence that had been utterly absent either in the first 35 minutes or any time this season. Hertha were poor after the goal, Köln completely deserved the win.

Good away turnout for a midweek game at 6.30pm. I hope this is a turnaround for Köln. Despite G-Man being a supporter, I really can't help but liking both the club and the city.

[JVL]

Watched parts of the Leipzig-Bayern match yesterday, before actually sitting down and following events properly during extra time and penalties. Despite it being a contest between the two most universally disliked teams in the country, it was a good one to watch (at least the bit of it that I saw).

Leipzig were reduced to ten men in the second half after a harsh second yellow for Keita and then took the lead with a penalty (seemed like sympathy award from the ref, the dive to get it was ridiculous and Rangnick had been raising hell about a decision that went against his side before the break, he marched on to the pitch waving his mobile around, trying to show the ref the replays - as the video replay will only be used in the cup from the quarter-final onwards (what a complete dog's arse of a decision that is. Either use it for the whole competition or don't bother at all)). Bayern equalised five minutes later with a nicely-worked goal and then absolutely pummeled Leipzig for the final 20 minutes and all of extra time. Chance after chance came and went, Leipzig's keeper got a hand to everything and Lewandowski missed a couple of chances that he would normally bury. His face after the keeper got a touch on yet another goalbound effort was a picture.

Bayern's penalties were all excellent. High and low, into the corners, no chance of saving them. Leipzig's players seemed to share the tactic of keeping their heads down and twatting the ball down the middle, hoping that Ulreich would leap out of the way. He did so most obligingly four times, before guessing right to gather up Timo Werner's weak effort for what was actually quite an anticlimactic finish. Neither team is particularly likeable but Bayern's celebrations were genuine when it was all over, and it was nice to see Ulreich being mobbed and congratulated by his team-mates as he has been something of an on-field scapegoat for Bayern's (relatively) poor start to the season.

[G-Man]

I like Mats Hummels. When Rangnick tried to become a video ref with is cellphone, Hummels apparently went up to him and said something like: "Hey man, you can't do that. If you do that, we'll have everybody running on to the pitch waving their cellphones." Asked about it by kicker afterwards, Hummels said that he approached Rangnick to convey the above, and they had a "very matter-of-fact conversation". These Germans, always so reasonable.

Good away turnout for a midweek game at 6.30pm. I hope this is a turnaround for Köln. Despite G-Man being a supporter, I really can't help but liking both the club and the city.

If I renounce them, will you become spürbar anders (as opposed to the present state of offenbar anders)?

[imp]

Don't get carried away, it's just mild sympathy for their current plight - I could never go completely Karneval, not with that piss-water they try to pass off as beer. By the way, I was out on the town with Uli H last night and your ears should have been burning.

[G-Man]

Well, we are one small club. As you may recall, a few days before I visited you in Frankfurt I had drinks with Uli and treibeis — Glühwein, that's why Toby was not invited — in the Hanseatic Hauptstadt.

I hope you and Uli weren't too harsh in your judgments of me.

[treibeis]

Well, we are one small club. As you may recall, a few days before I visited you in Frankfurt I had drinks with Uli and treibeis — Glühwein, that's why Toby was not invited — in the Hanseatic Hauptstadt.

Yeah, the Hanseatic Hauptstadt. Where the Christmas market (singular) closed at nine o'clock.

I must admit, your impersonation of imp had me chuckling all the way back to Hamburg.

[G-Man]

Ha! You shit-stirrer! We drank at two Christmas markets, bypassing the medieval one and the one at the riverfront.

[G-Man]

Anyway, Köln have asked BVB if they can borrow André Schürrle for half a year. It would be excellent if a loan deal happened; good too for Schürrle who doesn't get a chance at Dortmund and so is falling out of Jogi's consideration for the World Cup.

[treibeis]

.

[imp]

I must admit, your impersonation of imp had me chuckling all the way back to Hamburg.

Moderators! Mobbing!

My youngest does an impression of me talking German which, I have to say, is simultaneously cruel and very funny.

[G-Man]

I'll have to ask you to speak German next time I see you to verify the humorous properties of that. Maybe we can meet up over an Astra at treibeis' kiosk in Buxtehude.

treibeis bringt es auf den Punkt.

[Stumpy Pepys]

David Wagner's popping up in the German media with increasing regularity. If Heynckes leaves after the end of this season, Bayern might be sniffing around.

Never thought I'd see Huddersfield on Sport 1. I certainly never imagined Michael Hefele playing top-flight football, after witnessing his 'craft'.

[treibeis]

Moderators! Mobbing!

My youngest does an impression of me talking German which, I have to say, is simultaneously cruel and very funny.

No, it was a German-South African doing a Lincolnshire-Scottish linesman saying "Offside, five yards!". In French. You'd have had to be there.

[Toby Gymshorts]

On Glühwein, Toby is a maniac who needs locking up.

Of all the things I've said and done in my life, I didn't think it would be this that landed me in chokey.

[ursus arctos]

No one expects the Glühwein Inquisition

[Toby Gymshorts]

Presumably one of their main weapons is a fanatical devotion to a sickly mulled drink.

[imp]

Glühwein is one of those things that only works when it's cold, you're outside, it's just before Christmas, and you're standing on a cobbled street somewhere in Germany. The Bundesliga takes a winter break just for this very activity.

[treibeis]

Glühwein drunkeness is also very different to inebriation caused by beer, normal wine or even spirits. I see it at the hut every day for four months a year (and I don't mean (just) The Lady I Walked To The Registry Office With). People go absolutely fucking crackers.