Hollerbach's Currywurst - Bundesliga 2017/18

[G-Man]

"I voot larve it, just larve it if ve beet zem in ze vor!"

[tee rex]

Last day of the season, and my local network is showing Bayern v Stuttgart. Thanks, guys.

[G-Man]

The last time I wanted Mönchengladbach to draw as much as I want them to today was on the last day of the season 40 years ago.

[treibeis]

I'm looking forward to distraught HSV fans invading the Eurovision Song Contest event thing on the Reeperbahn this evening and then smrashing up the stage and/or blubbing into hostess Barbara Schöneberger's microphone to a worldwide TV audience.

[G-Man]

Bloody hell, Bayern losing 4-1. HSV leads, but so are Wolfsburg. The fucking clock must be switched off. But in the last few weeks, the team has won the fans back, much as Köln's over the past months. Both sides are going down with some dignity. Freiburg winning means Wolfsburg are again playing the relegation game.

Dortmund scrape into the Champions' League, unless two goals swing it for Leverkusen.

[treibeis]

About fucking time.

[G-Man]

Shit, HSV fans treating the Gladbach penalty area like Nethanyahu treats Gaza. The game has been interrupted, or maybe called off.

[treibeis]

They're not turning the clock off. It's going to be changed to "How long have HSV existed since 1887?" I feel cheated.

[Ray de Galles]

They’re going to play the game in the middle third of the pitch only with police sectioning off the rest of it?!

[Lang Spoon]

What?

[Ray de Galles]

Only a few remaining seconds. Or maybe not at all, police are moving - it’s insanity

[Lang Spoon]

Scenes.

[G-Man]

The game was resumed to see it through. After the hooded hooligans, apparently a group of around 50, left the stadium before the game resumed, about 200 police ran out of the stadium to chants of "Bring them in" (i.e. "arrest them")

[tee rex]

I know my jinx powers are strong, but really didn't think I could do it to Bayern in the Bundesliga. Some terrific counter-attacking by Stuttgart, and a whole lot of "saving myself for the World Cup" by their opponents. Always good to see a team get their comeuppance for treating the presentations as the main event.

[Snake Plissken]

https://twitter.com/_omeara_r/status/995320277004414976

[imp]

Good old Bayern, shitting all over Eintracht's chances of getting into Europe. No doubt they'll repeat next Saturday. Fucking hell, I hate those incorrigible cunts more than I collectively hate Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs, Leeds and West Ham, and I really, really hate all those cunts too.

If Eintracht, however, do somehow manage to lift the Pokal, I'm going to send gloating text messages every day for a year to one particularly arsehole-oriented friend of mine, a fake Bayern fan who's never lived in Bavaria for one second, carries off the arrogance of being a Bayern Mitläufer with effortless wankitude, and who actually looks like the double of Uli Hoeneß. If he doesn't block me for this perpetual harassment, I'll feel like I've failed. (The even stranger thing is that I really like him, despite him being a total fucking cunt. Weird.)

[G-Man]

Now that DFB has, in its utter cuntitude, ruled that if promoted, Holstein Kiel may not play their homegames at home - because they failed to anticipate the possibility of achieving successive promotions and spend millions upgrading their stadium to Bundesliga standards -- Hamburg migh still have top flight football next season. Though I hope Kiel say: "Fine, you fuckers, we'll play our homegames in Denmark then."

[Pérou Flaquettes]

Very sad for Hamburg and European football but hardly a surprise I understand (I'm only a distant follower of the Bundesliga), they had it coming so to speak, just like Sunderland before the wheels eventually (but unsurprisingly) fell off last season. Hopefully, they can start afresh next season. Why do HSV refuse to groundshare with Holstein Kiel if the latter go up? Where will Kiel play exactly?

Borussia Dortmund worry me, they finish nearly 30 points behind Bayern, that’s a hell of a gap to bridge in seasons to come. We knew that the post-Klopp era would be difficult and that it wouldn’t be easy to replace Aubameyang but still.

With Hamburg and Köln relegated, the Bundesliga2 average attendances (~17,500 this season) could beat the Championship’s (~20,000) next year, or thereabouts. I wish most D2 championships were that healthy in Europe, it's much lower in France, Italy and Spain (~7,000), not sure about the other major leagues.

[G-Man]

I don't think HSV own the Volksparkstadion, so if Kiel ask to play there, the city of Hamburg would have to decide. The other (better) option would be to groundshare with St Pauli, though that lot might not love sharing with their lessers who'd have overtaken them.

100km from Kiel to Hamburg. That's rough.

[ursus arctos]

The German Wiki has HSV owning 99 percent of the entity that owns the ground

[Stumpy Pepys]

Kiel's stadium looks like a well-funded German amateur football club. Reminds me of Jahn Regensburg's old ground.

[G-Man]

Interesting constellation in the Regionalliga Nord. HSV II have completed their programme and are second on 72 points and +35 goal difference. Weiche Flensburg tops the log, also on 72 points and a GF of +36. But they have one more game to play, at mid-table Havelse. If Flensburg lose the game, HSV II will overtake them on goal difference (or goals scored, unless Flensburg loses 7-6).

[JVL]

The shit is starting to hit the fan in Kaiserslautern too, now that relegation to the 3. Liga has been confirmed. There is confusion as to which players have contracts valid for the third tier, who the manager will be (Will Frontzeck stay on? Will Strasser recover fully and return to the manager role? Or will they bin them both and try and find someone else?), and in general what the hell the club is going to do with a World Cup stadium that hasn't even been half-full for the last three seasons, and which will be welcoming Fortuna Köln and Wehen Wiesbaden next season...
And the club no longer owns the stadium of course. This had to be bought back by the city of Kaiserslautern to pay off mounting debts and save the club a few years back. However, the annual rent was reduced from 3.2 to 2.4 million upon relegation to the second division. Next season, it drops to €425k - and the city authorities have to pick up the slack. They are considering doing this by increasing property tax rates, a move that has (unsurprisingly) been dubbed the 'FCK Tax'. So what was once the pride of a whole region and a real powerhouse in German football is now losing support through all levels of society in the southwest, as people increasingly tire of watching players and managers walk off with payoffs in the millions while Kaiserslautern (a city that has struggled financially for years, and especially so with the decline of Opel and the departure of most US troops from the area) slides further into debt. Oh, and the club doesn't yet have a sponsor for next season, and they have yet to receive confirmation that the DFB will grant a license for the 3. Liga (but of course everyone is 'confident' of getting the requisite paperwork sorted, and soon). I suspect it won't be that easy to find any local company willing to pump money into the club...

[sw2borshch]

Been a bloke on my bus the last couple of mornings wearing a 1. FC Koeln lanyard.

[imp]

Wolfsburg-Kiel is lively so far. 2-1 to the corporates at half-time.