Old Enough to Drink and Superdraft - MLS 2017

[imp]

I really don't know if there are words extant to express how angry I am at what is happening on East Capitol Street right now.

For those of us who don't hang there any more, please feel free to fill us in.

[jefe]

Everyone of offensive importance has taken it in turns to be injured. We can't (apart from Luciano Acosta, who took one of the worst and more stupid red cards I've ever seen at one point) sign anyone worth a damn from overseas. Steve Birnbaum has regressed like nobody's business; Bobby Boswell must have done something to piss off Ben Olsen because he's more missing than Amelia Earhart. Olsen is ripping his team in sideline and postmatch interviews. We have absolutely nothing resembling a style or intelligible tactics when we play. The rookies are being rookies, which is in no way their fault. We can't even get leads most of the time, never mind blow them, and keep pissing away points against utterly mediocre teams like Philly and New England. We got bounced out of the Cup with a decent, A-minus team, after being up a goal against New England's reserves. Ecstatic noises of joy were made about the return of Chris Korb, who is a league average at best outside back. The sole team in the league with whom we can deal somehow is Atlanta, because Tata Martino's 5th gear suicidal attack plays perfectly into our sole ability, to defend and occasionally counter. The current offensive solution is bringing in a teenage Bolivian from one of the Universidads in Chile on a 18 month loan with option. Against anyone decent like Dallas or Toronto, the sum total idea is to defend and pray from the opening whistle; the surprise is not that Dallas got 4 but that we actually got 2. The only vague hope of sneaking into the playoffs right now lies in running the table in and around August, when we get Minnesota, RSL, Colorado, Atlanta, and New England (AGAIN), apart from what will probably be another asskicking by Toronto, this one at home.

But Olsen and Kasper's jobs are safe, management is satisfied with how they are doing their jobs, and they get to lead us into the bright new future of Audi Field, for which we may have as many as the first dozen games of 2018 on the road while construction finishes.

[jefe]

Mike Grella did his knee and done for the year.

Targeted Allocation Money for each team is rumored to be going up again in the near future, from $1.2 to as much as $2M.

Guingamp are supposed to offered (funky E)2.5M for David Accam.

San Jose traded Shawn Francis to Montreal for an actual TBD, depending on conditions.

Toronto has imported a Liechtenstein international defender; LA a defender from Willem II, Minnesota a Kiwi defender and a Scottish wing.

Robert Kraft is sponsoring an e-sports team to the tune of $20M, and when interviewed about it by the WSJ, came out with "it only took the Revolution about 5 years to become profitable."

3 of the USOC quarterfinals have been played: SKC 3-0 Dallas AET, San Jose bounced LA, and RBNY knocked out New England.

Steven Beitashour got nailed so hard in the midsection by a high boot during the Canadian Championship his pancreas ruptured.

[jefe]

Jacksonville Armada finally have a new owner.

USL has partnered with a modular stadium company, after the one thrown together in Phoenix in under 2 months has worked so well.

RBNY lent one of their kids to Minnesota, who themselves are in the process of jettisoning their expensive imported centerback and goalkeeper.

DCU traded an international slot for the rest of the year to Columbus for $50K of allocation money.

[Gerontophile]

Las Vegas council have approved a lease which will allow Vegas to bring a USL team to Cashman Field (the 51's baseball ground).

[jefe]

VAR starts officially in MLS on August 5th.

San Jose signed a Swiss defender; Orlando may be trying to get Dom Dwyer from KC, who did not turn them down flat, interestingly.

New York Cosmos 2-0 Valencia CF. In Regina, Saskatchewan. Because ...... reasons.

Barcelona is continuing to work on an NWSL franchise, somewhere in California. They already have an academy sorta set up in San Diego, fwiw.

I cannot emphasize enough how much you should seek out the video of Mike Petke's post game press conference destruction of MLS refereeing from this weekend.

The NASL expansion team in Orange County CA is going to be California United FC, Wynalda to coach. As of now, they have 10 teams for next year, with public statements by team owners that #11 is likely and #12 possible; Atlanta, and either the New Orleans or Detroit NPSL teams coming up to fully pro status.

The USL team in Fresno for next season, joining Vegas and Nashville, is tentatively named Fresno FC. If smarts win out, they'll buy/combine with the extant and successful Fresno Fuego of the PDL. Frank Yallop resurfaces as GM.

FAO ursus and anyone else here familiar with the Bay Area, the PDL Burlingame Dragons owner wants to go pro for 2019, as San Francisco FC. And build a modular stadium in the swamps on the bay shore right where you run out of airport hotels south of SFO. USL itself is going to go to 3 conferences either next year or in 2019.

[imp]

@jefe - only just seen your reply re. DC United, thanks for that. Hard to believe that Kasper's still there - off the top of my head I'd say his inspired signing:crap signing ratio must be about 1:10.

[jefe]

Dom Dwyer traded to Orlando for $1.6M of assorted allocation dollars spread over two, maybe even 3, years. Orlando also say they aren't selling Cyle Larin this year.

The insanely rich buy who owns Miami FC in the NASL made an offer to MLS/USSF this week: $4 billion for TV rights for divisions 1-3 & the USOC starting in 2023 when the current MLS tv deals expire. As long as you go to pro/rel. Rejected out of hand, not least of which MLS isn't allowed to start negotiating that far out under its' current deals. Sheer PR stunt.

Minnesota's new stadium will be called Allianz Field.

We have a Phillipe Senderos sighting-on trial in Houston.

Omar Cummings retired from FC Cincinnati.

LA is strongly rumored to have bought Gio Dos Santos' brother Jonathan for $5M.

[jefe]

@imp - and that was before the last 2 games this past week.

[Exiled off Main Street]

Revolution launching new ad campaign on local TV... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64bazYDxpjM and this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUxakd-aK2g My mate Rob is the shorter of the two red coats.

[Ray de Galles]

I'm in LA at short notice at the weekend and hope to get to the Galaxy v Sounders game (I have tickets, it just depends on when other things finish as to if I get there).

Any tips or background on the two teams and who or what to look out for? My last MLS game was a Carlos Valderrama-inspired Tampa Bay Mutiny at the pre-rebrand Metrostars in '98.

[ursus arctos]

A full preview will appear here.

As you can see, the Galaxy have been terrible, and just fired their coach, bringing back Sigi Schmid.

The Galaxy's best player this season has been Romain Alessandrini, a French winger who was at Rennes and OM. Clint Dempsey is still knocking them in for the Sounders.

I would expect goals; neither team has a hermetic defense.

[Ray de Galles]

Excellent , thanks.

Clint Dempsey you say? I would have had him in "Oh, is he still playing" but on checking I see he's only 34. Not still sporting the number 2, is he?

[ursus arctos]

He most certainly is, and even just scored an important goal off the bench for the US in the Gold Cup



Seattle also has Nicolas Lodiero, whose name may ring a bell from Boca Juniors, Uruguay or Ajax.

LA still has Ashley Cole and Giovanni dos Santos, but I don't know if they have been (or will be) playing. Jermaine Jones likely will.

[Amor de Cosmos]

Cole and dos Santos both played against the Whitecaps in our 1–0 down there a couple of weeks back.

[jefe]

Today was head coach day in LA. Curt Onalfo fired by the Galaxy and replaced by Sigi; Bob Bradley announced as LAFC's first coach.

Jonatan Dos Santos officially to LA Galaxy from Villareal.

Colorado brings in a winger formerly of 1860 Munich.

San Francisco Deltas are begging their fans to bring a friend, or for a rich investor, because their 2,500/game average ain't cutting it. I shudder to think of what their operating expenses are, given that their 16 road games involve 85,000 miles of travel over both seasons.

RNBY loans in a Panamanian center back, about about 800 days worth of rumors that they would do so.

[Anton Gramscescu]

With something close to a first XI (minus Beitashour) finally playing, and it was Best Team in MLS History 4 - 0 Abu Fucking Dhabi FC. And we were never out of third gear. A perfect afternoon, really.

[Anton Gramscescu]

Also, Raheem Edwards finally got his first goal today. Long-deserved, but a bit shabby. The entire NYCFC back line was gawking in amazement that Nick Hagglund had worked himself into an offside position so no one was prepared for Giovinco's chip to Edwards, leaving him with about four yards of space. Easy peasy.

[Amor de Cosmos]

Meanwhile back in the world of normal paychecks, the Caps won for the first time ever in Texas last night. Conclusively too in Dallas after their worst of the season at home to Portland last week. Check out Nicolas Mezquida's once-in-a-career goal at 3:00 minutes

[jefe]

It's time to start breaking shit in and around East Capitol Street

1. 2 Wednesdays ago away to Seattle, we go up 3-0 in 50 minutes. And proceed to concede 4 in the next 30, the biggest come from ahead loss in MLS history.

2. Last Saturday against Houston at home, a team who had not yet won a road game this season, we concede 3 in the first 18 minutes and lose 3-1.

3. This past Saturday, after having to fly in day-of-game after flights were cancelled for the second time this year, we get shit on by an godawful expansion team 4-0 after making an ungodly amount of unfinished chances.

4. Today, the NYT reports that ownership, having the stadium finally signed off and under construction, are debating cashing out and selling.

5. About which, they have placed calls to Ted Leonsis and DANIEL GODDAMNED SNYDER to gauge possible interest.

6. Steven Goff, meanwhile, reports that management's idea of solving the defensive midfield issues is to bring in Nigel De Jong as a DP.

7. Because they already chased Wayne Rooney earlier and were turned down after preliminary discussions.

Heads. Stakes. Walls.

[Anton Gramscescu]

DC is giving the entire league a lesson in how to play against TFC tonight. They may have resembled a set of training cones since the sending off, but they have been tremendously effective training cones.

Though why Vanney hasn't thrown Chapman on yet is completely beyond me.

[Hot Pepsi]

Ted Leonsis wouldn't be a complete disaster. Snyder would be.

[jefe]

So the front office has decided to act: Said previously mentioned Bolivian child is here. We are about to buy a Hungarian winger from Kaiserslautern, and instead of De Jong, have offered Chilean resident pitbull Gary Medel 2 years at $5m/year.

Charlotte Eagles won the PDL over Thunder Bay Chill, 2-1.

Adidas extended and raised their deal with MLS for a few more years; teams now get $30M a year, up from $25M.

Federico Higuain says he's done in Columbus after this year.

And Miami FC along with a NPSL team in Kingston NY are suing MLS and USSF in the Court of Arbitration for Sport to force MLS to start promotion and relegation.

Columbus might be signing a winger from Braga for 2M euros.

FC Cincinnati beat Miami FC in their delayed USOC quarterfinal on Wednesday, 2-1.

Orlando signs a Peruvian playmaker, Yoski Yatun.

[Gerontophile]

And Miami FC along with a NPSL team in Kingston NY are suing MLS and USSF in the Court of Arbitration for Sport to force MLS to start promotion and relegation.

Wow.

[ursus arctos]

I've read their submission.

They are wasting their filing fee.