Favourite one-line managerial philosophy quotes

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Almost all of these will, by their nature, be largely apocryphal, but what the hell. Add as you see fit. My favourites that I still use today:

Bob Paisley - "kick the ball into the goal. If you can't, pass it to someone who can".

Brian Clough - "if God had meant football to be played in the air he'd have put grass up there".

Howard Wilkinson - "I've never seen a sack of money score a goal".

[Nocturnal Submission]

Was it Malcolm Allison who said something like "Players have more time in the box than they think they have"? Whoever said it was right back in the '70s or whenever it was coined, IMHO, but these days I turn it around and say that they have less time and need to hit the ball first time or have it blocked by a defender, which invariably happens when they take a touch to try to set themselves.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

Bill Shankly - "don't believe everything you read on the Internet"

[Stumpy Pepys]

Alan Latchley: "You've got to be in a rage to bring out the best in yourself … one of [my] tactics is to kidnap their wives."

[Simon G]

Alan Durban - "If you want entertainment, you could go out and get a bunch of clowns."

[Gert from the Well]

Zdeněk Zeman - "I'd rather lose 5-4 than draw 0-0"

As well as "Sometimes we lost, and yet the team left the pitch to applause, for me, that was the greatest thing.”

[Amor de Cosmos]

A couple from Ian Holloway:

“It’s all very well having a great pianist playing but it’s no good if you haven’t got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.”

“If you’re a burglar, it’s no good waiting about outside somebody’s house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don’t advocate that obviously, it’s just an analogy.”

[Nefertiti2]

“If you eat caviar every day, it is difficult to return to sausages.”

Arsene Wenger

[Duncan Gardner]

Equalise before they score- Blanchflower

[Gert from the Well]

Mick McCarthy on not picking flair players - “It wasn’t the game for him on Saturday, it was a game for hairy-arsed pros,”

[caja-dglh]

"Who moved my Cheese: An A-Mazing way to deal with change in your Free-kick location" - Dr Spencer Johnson w/ Ivan Toney.

[elguapo4]

"When their third goal went in, I knew our pig was dead "
Jimmy Sirrell

[jameswba]

I think it was also Sirrell who said, 'the best team always wins, the rest is only gossip'.

[Snake Plissken]

Dyche: “Legs on fire, heads in the fridge”

[Nocturnal Submission]

Dyche: “Legs on fire, heads in the fridge”

TBF, he nicked that one from Jeffrey Dahmer.

[DPDPDPDP]

Ebbe Skovdahl, Aberdeen’s manager a while back came out with “Statistics are like miniskirts: They give you good ideas but hide the important things.”

[DPDPDPDP]

Bill Shankly, being not too philosophical regarding Everton “If Everton were playing down the bottom of my garden, I'd draw the curtains.“

and of course the legendary “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.”

[tee rex]

The official motto of OTF:

"Football is the most important of the least important things" (Arrigo Sacchi, and then attributed to various others).

[beak]

"It wasn't the result we were looking for, no. And it's easy for heads to drop at a time like this. But it's a bit like dog crucifixion. There are always going to be the naysayers trying to mess with your mind."

[steveeeeeeeee]

Jorge Jesus: "There are three important factors in a football game: winning, scoring, and the artistic score. But the latter is in figure skating."

[Antepli Ejderha]

Alan Latchley: "You've got to be in a rage to bring out the best in yourself … one of [my] tactics is to kidnap their wives."

And his 3 Ms, motivation, motivation and motivation.

A truly underrated manager.

[Gert from the Well]

"Dare to fail", three world to live by.

[hobbes]

“We need to know that I am talking about facts"
Rafa Benitez

[Johnny Velvet]

"We only have to be lucky once. You have to be lucky every time." -- Ken Bates.

[tee rex]

"We only have to be lucky once. You have to be lucky every time." -- Ken Bates.

The IRA were football managers?