Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

[dotmund]

I asked a group of London-based football supporters who claimed a "special interest" in this decision for their dream shortlist. Here are my findings.



John Motson
Pros: Talks a good game
Cons: Talks shite
Odds: 66-1



Red Rum
Pros: Proven winner
Cons: Horse
Odds: 5-1



Roland from Grange Hill
Pros: Threat of being eaten for underperforming stars; Golden Wonder sponsorship
Cons: Fat, stupid, annoying, dweeby, damaging rivalry with Gripper Stebson
Odds: 10-1



Threads woman
Pros: Hardy, straight-talking Yorkshire woman
Cons: Suspect under pressure
Odds: 7-2



Hillary Clinton
Pros: Well-connected, appeals to the American market, very soon to be unemployed, Daughter already called Chelsea
Cons: Doesn't appeal to the American market as much as she thinks she does
Odds: 1-2F

(some pictures mercilessly cribbed from my Barwick-o-Tron)

[My Name Is Ian]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

The Woman That Pisses Herself When The Bomb Goes Off In Threads is linked with all the top jobs, isn't she? How come Gripper Stebson's not in the running?

[dotmund]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

One of these days she'll get the opportunity to show us what she can do. Other than piss herself, obviously.

Gripper Stebson is currently managing Nigeria. Apparently it was his turn. Everyone gets 30 days at it.

[EIM]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

Mungo the pink and Bev Bevan? That's a dream team.

[Pretend Best Friend]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

Dotmund

Do you take your inspiration from Quentin Blake - the chap who used to illustrate the Roald Dahl books?

Stirling work btw.

[Nishlord]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

That woman who pisses herself in Threads wore trousers.

I don't know why I'm bringing this up, either.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

Martin Lipton was on the radio talking about the possible candidates and listed basically scolari, hidding and Mark hughes, but do not discount Roy Keane as a candidate?

Why roy keane? because Peter Kenyon is trying to second guess Man utd and try and do what they are going to do next after ferguson retires. What a silly silly pointless man. Then again if I owed my career to knowing what man utd players were paid in 2003 and who was on their transfer shortlist, I'd still try to keep milking that same goat.

[The Purple Cow]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

Hiddink's defo not a candidate, he doesn't rate English football at all, and when the England job came up (the last but one time) he reportedly said that he would rather deal with the Russian mafia than the British press.

[EIM]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

And, true to his word...

[dotmund]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

A lot of people ask me the Quentin Blake question... I don't really see the similarity myself, but I honestly think that anyone from the UK who draws anything and is under the age of 40 can't help but have been inspired by him. I've always loved his stuff.

On the Guus Hiddink issue, I think Chelsea should re-appoint Glenn Hoddle.

[ian.64]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

You're damned good anyways, Dotmund, and it's never a trial to be compared with the best.

On the Chelsea front, both Hiddink and Mancini have declined. To be honest, I'd love the scenario where every high-profile candidate Chelsea think will willingly walk into Stamford Bridge turns them down, so that, in the end, it's a coin toss between Ian Holloway and Bryan Robson.

[ursus arctos]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

Hmmmm.

In Italian, Mancini's "people" have been complaining all week that he hasn't been asked.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

If Hiddink must have very high standards indeed if he doesn't rate English football in the time period where it's produced five of the last eight CL finalists, and six of the last 8 semi-finalists. I'd also be impressed if he keeps his high standards bearing in mind that they pay more than anyone else. He certainly didn't mind managing South Korea and Russia when the money was right.

[Cavalry Trouser Tips]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

Milan refuse Chelsea permission to speak to Ancelloti.

So whoever they ask next will know they are second-choice.

Or is this typical opening gambit stuff?

[Sam]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

If Hiddink is in the mix, it's hardly going to be mentioned before the Euros, is it? They'll be quite happy doing it with other teams but I hardly think Abramovich (who's also paying some of Hiddink's current salary) will do anything to unnecessarily distract Russia from preparing for / playing in the tournament...

[De Geas Clean Linen]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

I could manage Chelsea.

"Ok, pass it around for a bit and give the ball a bloody good whack when you're in the area".

Repeat 38 times.

Simple.

[ursus arctos]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

The Gazzetta is reporting that Sky Sports News are saying that Ancelotti "has agreed terms with Chelsea" and that his signing is imminent.

True?

[ursus arctos]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

Evidently true that such a report was made, but now both Ancelotti and Chelsea are denying its substance, with Ancelotti saying that he is "150% sure" that he will stay at Milan.

[ursus arctos]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

So, after a brief flurry of speculation that Spalletti was on their list, the latest name to enter the frame is Michael Laudrup.

Laudrup had agreed financial terms with Panathinaikos, but according to Marca couldn't get them to agree to a clause that would have allowed him to leave if a big Spanish club made an offer.

[Purves Grundy]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

In other Chelsea news Adrian Mutu has been told by UEFA that he has to pay Chelsea 8 Million Euros following his dismissal after his failed cocaine test. Or, that's what it says in Romania Libera, at least.

[ursus arctos]

Those Chelsea managerial candidates in full

It's 12 million euro (and FIFA) here.

The case goes back to 2005, and Chelsea's original demand (for loss of his services, loss of value and "damage to the club's image") was over 33 million.