Mullholland Drive

[Guest]

O.k. Deep breath, here goes, I'm going to watch this. I'm a bit worried, I've only ever seen references to it either being totally fucked up and strange or a big big bag of bollocks.

It's underway as I'm up til the start of the cricket, will this keep me wide awake or knock me out?

First up is a montage of 50s or 60s style American boogeying as the credits roll.

Now we have a car driving at night in what looks probably like the modern day...

Nothing too mental yet.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

Ok, woman in back of car seemed like she was about to be executed by her chaufer when two groups of youngsters racing in cars coming the other way slam into their car and the sexy lady seems to be the only one alive.

She's now walking straight off the side of a hill into some trees in a daze.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

She's hiding from people and made no attempt to get help for the other victims and is now sleeping in a hedge. I'm guessing a large part of the story is going to be based around why she is hiding.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

I'm starting to get bored now. I need some more information to make me care a little bit real soon.

There's a chap that looks like an older Jim from American pie telling us about Winkies Restaurant and i'm bored.

I think I'm ill from tiredness and this is a stupid idea.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

old Jim has just collapsed after seeing an orc woman.

Sexy Woman is asleep under a random persons table.

And now we have what I'm guessing is a kingpin, sat in a wheelchair saying that the girl is missing.

Ahhhh... NAomi Watts has just appeared, I didn't know she was in this. Her hair is rock solid and she appears to be called Betty. She's shocked when a taxi driver picks her bags up. The old couple she saw are now patting each other in the back of their cab.

Nothing whatsoever makes any sense yet.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

So, Betty is in Hollywood to try and become an actor I'm assuming. She's staying in a complex that is managed by a Liza Minelli lookalike.

She seems very naieve right now, so presumably someone is going to take advantage of her fairly soon...

Ahhh, this may just be the same apartment that the odd woman fell asleep under the table in.

We may have nudity coming up!

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

That's it, lie down in your towel...

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

now we're in a movie casting meeting wtih a lunatic spitting espresso into a napkin.

They're all freaking out about coffee and actresses.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

Mardy director freaks out at heavies and golf clubs their cars.

Small dude in wheelchair (kingpin) is making casting decisions from in an odd room.

I'm presuming he's going to start talking backwards shortly as it's very reminisicent of the Twin Peaks dude.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

There's way too many people in this film now.

Some random dudes in an office were chatting when one shoots the other, then accidentally shoots a fat woman through a wall, she's now trying to kick his ass.

my brain hurts.

[jason voorhees]

Mullholland Drive

Your brain is going to hurt, but it's still my pick as best of the decade.

Real harrowing.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

ok... Sexy Woman has amnesia from car crash and is hiding out in Naomi Watts home, she has masses of cash in her purse and a blue key as well.

What's she been up to...

The hitmans kill went disastrously, but he's now eating junk food with a ditzy peanut smuggler.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

The blurb on the Sky Player says this was going to be a TV Series but never got made.

Anyway, now Sexy Woman is now called Rita and has remembered she was going to Mullholland drive and Betty is talking her into going there to see what she was going to do.

Joe 90 the film maker is taking his golf club for a drive (no pun intended) and is startled by two chairs near a swimming pool.

[jason voorhees]

Mullholland Drive

Yeah, that's why some of the hitman scenes seem out-of-place. However, it all makes sense in the end. In this film, you have to remember characters, remember situations, pay attention to the key, and pay attention to the final dinner party scene and what names people call each other.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

Ouch, Joe 90 found his wife shagging some mulleted dude we shall call him Billy Ray for now.

So he pours pink paint all over her jewellery.

Now Betty is on the phone about the car crash that started all this.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

Joe 90 is being hunted then and for a moment i thought Hulk Hogan who runs the hotel he's staying in was going to bump him.

I'm not sure using these names is going to help me.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

There's some sort of witch at the door.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

At least two of the 'main' characters have met now, Betty and Joe 90, but she ran off really quickly.

They're now breaking into no 17 where Diane may or may not live depending on how reliable Joe 90s secretary/agent/something is.

Betties reaction suggests there's a corpse in there.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

Now Betty and Rita seem to be shagging. I don't suppose this will help in the long run.

Who's double crossing who...?

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

After a nightmare Rita has now taken the two new lovers to an old theatre, where a man in a goatee and shirt is introducing a trombone player. As you do.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

If I watch this back again a 2nd time, will the scene in the theatre make any more sense?

A woman is singing in what I think is Spanish, to the tune of 'Crying' I think.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

ok, did they both just vanish inside a small blue box?

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

Naomi Watts/Betty is now Diane?

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

and Rita is called Camillie? But seems to have vanished again.

Totally confused again, but the nudity is always welcome.

[Guest]

Mullholland Drive

ok, so I assume we're trampling all over the timelines now.

and probably have been all along but i didn't realise til now.