I've just seen a traumatic advert

[Jah Womble]

"Emma, the UK's most-awarded mattress..." For what strange competitions is the prize a mattress rather than money, a trophy or a fetching golden statuette?

Clumsily-written but I imagine it means that the mattress itself has won awards.

However, I’d be more likely to ask why anyone would want to call a mattress ‘Emma’.

[laverte]

Because men absolutely love to give a girl's name to inanimate objects, especially domestic ones. This example is extra unsubtle, as the About Us section of the website reverses the equation, humanising (which of course means feminising) the object:

Emma held her award high and leaned into the microphone.

The cameras flashed, the lights blinded, and Emma thought back to how it all began in Frankfurt, Germany in 2015…

It seemed like just yesterday Emma was only a dream and a pile of memory foam. But the dream soon became a reality as Emma grew into an ambitious, inquisitive mattress full of questions: “Mamma, what kind of foam mattress am I?” “Mamma, am I the best mattress for bad back?” “Mamma, when will I get my pillows?

Right before everyone’s eyes, Emma became an exceptional memory foam mattress that had the talent for delivering comfort and support.

And there's some mildly risque crap about sleeping on top of Emma as well.

It's also the name of a French coat hanger.

Would be much edgier if the mattress was named Dennis, after one of the company's founding fathers.

[Toby Gymshorts]

"When will I get my pillows?"

Bleurgh.

[San Bernardhinault]

“Most awarded” is a horrible - and obviously meaningless - phrase that’s all over US advertising. I‘m sad to see that it’s drifted over the Atlantic,

[Patrick Thistle]

Have we done the Lynx Africa advert yet?

[Patrick Thistle]

The get ready for Brexit advert is an interesting cultural artefact. First we get a fishing boat because we know how important Brexit was to that industry that was only dying because of the mean old EU. There was that fleet on the Thames or something. Then we have a bucolic tractor at dawn shot because farming is so important despite every bit of farming news I've heard this year has been about how farming is totally fucked because of Brexit. Then there's something about the "makers" and a factory because industry is such a vital part of our economy. And someone makes a drink. Hospitality! And the a sop to the high tech industry because there hasn't totally been a brain drain to Europe since 2016. And stirring music. We all need to check the guidance, understand the changes and get ready to go. As a plane takes off. Presumably to take Rees-Mogg, Gove, Johnson et al off to their private island to roll naked in all the money they've made from Brexit leaving all the sorry sods they duped into voting for it behind.

[Jah Womble]

I dread to imagine just how much of our hard-earned we've all spaffed (TM) on these rubbish Brexit 'commercials' - or whatever they are - up to now. And the desperate sugar-coating of what has been exposed over-and-over as a massive error of judgment is indeed equally insulting.

Because men absolutely love to give a girl's name to inanimate objects, especially domestic ones. This example is extra unsubtle, as the About Us section of the website reverses the equation, humanising (which of course means feminising) the object:

And there's some mildly risque crap about sleeping on top of Emma as well.

'Emma' (nice name as it is) is such a banal choice, though. Wouldn't something like 'Clementine', 'Celeste' or even 'Marianne' feel more appropriate?

But what do I know. I've never named a mattress in my life.

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

The get ready for Brexit advert is an interesting cultural artefact. First we get a fishing boat because we know how important Brexit was to that industry that was only dying because of the mean old EU. There was that fleet on the Thames or something. Then we have a bucolic tractor at dawn shot because farming is so important despite every bit of farming news I've heard this year has been about how farming is totally fucked because of Brexit. Then there's something about the "makers" and a factory because industry is such a vital part of our economy. And someone makes a drink. Hospitality! And the a sop to the high tech industry because there hasn't totally been a brain drain to Europe since 2016. And stirring music. We all need to check the guidance, understand the changes and get ready to go. As a plane takes off. Presumably to take Rees-Mogg, Gove, Johnson et al off to their private island to roll naked in all the money they've made from Brexit leaving all the sorry sods they duped into voting for it behind.

Clear parallels with all those adverts for privatising national assets in the 1980s, making it all a jolly jape, and normalising the idea that the punters should part with their savings to buy something they already owned and then selling it immediately to financial institutions and funds for what they were told was a tidy profit, only for the big players to make the real money in the longer term. And they say we don't have political advertising on TV in the UK.

[Sam]

Because men absolutely love to give a girl's name to inanimate objects, especially domestic ones. This example is extra unsubtle, as the About Us section of the website reverses the equation, humanising (which of course means feminising) the object:



And there's some mildly risque crap about sleeping on top of Emma as well.

It's also the name of a French coat hanger.

Would be much edgier if the mattress was named Dennis, after one of the company's founding fathers.

Does this mean I'm being feminist when referring to the squeaky rubber mice that Latrice likes to chase around the flat as Mister Mouse?

[elguapo4]

There's a new ad for Colgate that shows a farmer, with the line " They say I'm not a real businessman, I just smile " . Who has ever said that to a farmer. It's lazy shit like that, that really annoys me.

[Patrick Thistle]

The Poppy Lottery.

FFS

[Gangster Octopus]

It is time to garrotte all car advertisers. Explain why it isn't The_Purple_Cow ...

[Southport Zeb]

Lots of petrol pumps have signs on the nozzles saying something along the lines of "thousands of people look at this space every month, why don't you advertise here?" At Sainsbury's in Bamber Bridge I finally saw that a company had decided to advertise this way. Bizarrely the company in question was an arms manufacturer looking for new employees. I've not applied.

[Sean of the Shed]

Three things I can't stand:
Perfume ads
People singing over the top of songs
What's up? by 4 nonblondes

Hugo Boss you are an absolute cunt.

[Guy Profumo]

Meanwhile.

Blue extra-terrestrials appear on an Argos ad.


Or something


https://twitter.com/Argos_Online/sta...08000768057345

[Felicity, I guess so]

Three things I can't stand:
Perfume ads
People singing over the top of songs
What's up? by 4 nonblondes

Hugo Boss you are an absolute cunt.

Would probably agree, tho haven’t seen the ad in question.

But, in cuntishness terms, do any of those things rank alongside him designing SS uniforms..?

[Patrick Thistle]

"The Power of Hair" is a bad slogan.

(Pantene)

[Wouter D]

I now have that as an earworm, as sung by Elton John to the tune of "The Circle of Life".

[Patrick Thistle]

I was thinking more Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News.

[3 Colours Red]

I was thinking more Frankie:

The power of hair
A force from right there
Cleaning my scaaaaaaaalp

[ursus arctos]

https://twitter.com/adrienne_edits/status/1218693391292059648

[Ginger Yellow]

The strap at the bottom is the most baffling. Cat radish? Salad gel? Raisin cocktail sauce?

Pretty sure it's a fake though.

[Hot Orange]

"Only Bozo would mix the pungent, sulphurous aroma of eggs with the earthy, nearly nonexistent flavour of fresh turnips - and then whip them together with healthful 100% cottonseed oil to make a taste sensation that your family will remember for the rest of their mouths."

Yeah, I'm not convinced that's genuine.

[Jah Womble]

No way on this planet that that's genuine. The name, the product, the image, the wording...

Quite a well-crafted fake though.

Would probably agree, tho haven’t seen the ad in question.

But, in cuntishness terms, do any of those things rank alongside him designing SS uniforms..?

Think I can hazard an answer to that one.

[Benjm]

I looked into Bozo once, having come across references to him over the years. He's a good choice for this sort of thing because rather than a single performer it is a complicated international clown franchise, as if McDonald's were to ditch the burgers, and convoluted enough to deter anyone from saying with 100% certainty that there could never have been such a thing as Bozo egg-turnip mayonnaise.