I've just seen a traumatic advert

[Southport Zeb]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Mullerrice's latest adverts appear to be celebrating the launch of LSD flavour.

[Crusoe]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Gawd, yes, those ads are just bizarre. It's like Muller threw some cash about to secure a few odd franchise (Mister Men, Hanna Barbera, what sounds like the music from Pirates Of The Caribbean), then cobbled them into an incomprehensible mess.

I mean, I sort of get the point — something about making life fun and colourful — but I just sat there thinking, those poor bastards; that traffic warden who's now Yogi Bear probably had a wife and kids, who'll never see him the same way again. And the poor chap who got turned into Mister Tickle (or was it Bump?) — that's his world turned upside down, he'll never get taken seriously at work, or father a family. Muller have a lot of ruined lives to answer for.

[Central Rain]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Really hate the Heineken ad which seems to be in every cinema at the moment. A narcissistic douchebag swaggers into what appears to be the most self-satisfied party of all time and apparently we are supposed to think he and his beer of choice are cool.

[WOM]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Which spot? The Entrance? That's fantastic.

[Central Rain]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

That'd be the one. Probably doesn't help that I find the very concept of somebody making 'a big entrance' completely obnoxious. Or that I hate the song they use for it.

[ian.64]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Really hate the Heineken ad which seems to be in every cinema at the moment. A narcissistic douchebag swaggers into what appears to be the most self-satisfied party of all time and apparently we are supposed to think he and his beer of choice are cool.

Your hatred is shared by me as it's all over the bloody telly right now. I'd like to see that character in an alternate version as he enters a real-life pub. Hey, karate moves! Karate moves! High five! Bottle juggling! Hug the man! Karate moves! Dance! Dance! Smack in gob! Kick in ribs! Stamp on goolies! Force-fed Heineken while still in bottle! Ambulance! Out-patients! Nurse, it hurts! Leg in plaster! In wheelchair for nine months!

Juvenile, yes. Satisfying? Completely.

[Commodore]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Heineken? Schmeineken, to quote from the days in which their ads used to capture the public imagination. Still tastes like pish mind.

Colmans have got a mad ad about their latest gravy, which morphs into a cow singing 'I like the way you moo' to the tune of Body Rockers' finest hour. Freaky.

[ian.64]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Haven't seen that one, so I'll hold comment on it, however, allow me - if it hasn't been done already - to comment on the latest pile of shit from Guinness where two sodden, mud-spattered tribes of men slap each other about on a rain-sloshed hillside, and where one bloke wraps a bin liner around his opponent's face.

It's as if the bloke who created it thought to himself 'I know what, it's lunch time and I'm bored. I'll come up with something so lazy that my granny could come up with it after five whiskies and pitch it to the bastards. I need a laugh.'

To his surprise, they accept it and he gets a pay rise. I know not the life of an ad-man and it may be a sweat-inducing toil in the search for ideas, but there are times when you think that it must be a piece of piss with no more thought given to it than that needed to pick your nose. And the afore-mentioned Guinness ad proves it.

[Boris Carpark]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

ian.64 wrote:

I know not the life of an ad-man and it may be a sweat-inducing toil in the search for ideas

If anyone in advertising decides to post upholding this you will be obliged to use the phrase 'coal face' in describing your honest & worthwhile endeavours.
One of those big pit head wheels, a knackered lift, Seb & Justin with pick axes & grubby vests on their way to hack off some more choice nuggets from the rich & inexhaustable perfume ad cuntiness seam.

[Eggchaser]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

The bloke in the Guinness ad seems familiar. And it's shit as well.

[hobbes]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

"I'm not going to be who you want me to be anymore."

[hobbes]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

My personal favourites are any advert the gist of which is "Be different or original or an individual...
...by buying this mass-produced piece of tat."

[Ray de Galles]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

ian.64 wrote:

I'm going to go out soon and get myself a bottle or two of Armani Code. Don't know why. It may possibly be because of those ads where tuxedoed, good-looking men wrap themselves around Gemma Arterton lookalikes in those smoothly photographed, slo-mo slickathons where everything is night and the air is sultry and where the evening throbs with mystique and a searing passion that always simmers and never explodes.

Or maybe they just show the usual old gubbins where every man's/woman's fragrance must have the same old shit: chiselled blokes faffing about in the sea/smimming pool while demonstrating their six-packs, smooth-skinned women looking enigmatically into the camera while flapping about in luxurious dresses, that afore-mentioned air of mystique or the fact that everything must be in frickin' slow-motion, so much so that I fear that if I plonked on a smattering of Hugo Boss I'd miss two buses on the trot due to the fact I was walking as if stuck in a massive jar of invisible Swarfega.

It's not that such adverts for fragrances are jaw-droppingly bad or shabby - at their worst they're hugely banal and pretentious in their supposed stylishness - it's just that the pain in watching them comes in two forms. The usual gubbins I've already outlined above, and the easy-money feel of the samey, regurgitated concepts that always comes with them. To promote a fragrance everything must be slo-mo mystique with attractive models attached. Money banked.

Bloody hell. Even the Milk Tray man gave you a bit more value when he dived into shark-infested waters to deliver a box of chocs. He could have had them delivered by post or simply driven there, but he did things the hard way. Nip off to supermarket first then jump in the Med, wrestle killer shark with designs on your Coffee Creams, punch the bugger out and then surprise your girlfriend with a box of chocs while standing there with bitemarks in your thighs.

Now that's advertising.

Armani Code is nice, mind . Though I've not seen the ad, my wife chose it for me.

[Incandenza]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

God, that Heineken ad. I'm glad it's not on our TVs any more (it seems to have thankfully disappeared after several months of heavy rotation). It seems to be an unfunny copy of the Most Interesting Man in the World.

The commercial I really hate at the moment is the AT&T commercial with the angry wife in the greenhouse.

Several things here: we're left with the impression that this woman is a complete bitch and her husband is a timid loser. Their marriage seems to have come to a crossroads over a cell phone plan, with her devastating him by saying that she should have married another man. It's not a very funny situation, and it's rather offensive to women (there are complaints about the ad online from men, but if anything women should be the ones most offended, as if women act like this regularly). Plus, how is it relatable? The woman is in a fucking greenhouse complaining about not being able to afford their cell phone plan! A greenhouse!

[Reed John]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

I'm ok with that Heineken ad, although I like "the most interesting man in the world" ads a lot more. The problem with both is that they're advertising such mediocre beers. It let's the air out of the whole thing, so to speak.

That AT&T ad is shit. Indeed, I feel bad for all of the TV and ad writers out there. It appears that all of them live in families where the mom is smoking hot but a humorless harpy, the dad is dumb, lazy, and probably fat, the teenage daughter is trying her best to become a raging slut, and the son is destined for a very successful career as a con-artist.

[Reed John]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

This ad is my favorite, especially the bit where he dumps the coffee:

This whole marketing strategy is questionable.
Not for women???? A soda? WTF?

[WOM]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Yeah, that AT&T one is terrible.

Oddly, we've gotten two commercials straight from the UK lately. One is for Multi-Grain Cheerios where a guy asks his wife if she's eating them to lose weight. She asks if she needs to lose weight. Payoff: 'shut up Steve'.

Now we're getting one where a guy is eating them in the car, in the garage, so his kids can't get at them. He pretends he's locked in so they can't join him.

Do General Mills think Canadians won't notice that they have English accents, or that the steering wheel is on the right hand side in the car?

[Incandenza]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Reed John wrote:

This ad is my favorite, especially the bit where he dumps the coffee:

This whole marketing strategy is questionable.
Not for women???? A soda? WTF?

That WaMu one was good.

The Dr. Pepper thing is like Coke Zero and (more along the lines of "I'm not a pussy because this isn't a diet soda!") Pepsi Max, right? When I first started watching the Premier League, I was so confused by the advertising boards for Yorkie candy bars, which featured the female stick figure with a line through it:



All of these ads trying to play on male insecurities just need to STFU. Drew Magary's recent piece about this, which I linked to just about everywhere, nails it right on the head:

I don't know who invented the phrase "Turn in your man card," but whoever it is should be taken out in the street and have his balls stomped on by a fucking marching band. Every Sunday, I'm now subjected to some goddamn Miller Lite ad where the guys in it are like, "ZOMG! You're drinking a generic light beer? YOU'RE SUCH A FAG! Turn in your man card, faggity fag fag!"

As if drinking Miller goddamn Lite is somehow a manly endeavor. This shit needs to stop. There's no such thing as a man card. If there were, it would be the single most douchetastic thing in the history of the world. Darren Rovell would keep 12 of them in his money clip. Advertisers and film studios love to exploit the whole supposed male identity crisis they think America is suffering through right now. What's that? You won't drink Miller Lite? DURRRRR THEN I GUESS YOU'RE JUST A WALKING VAGINA DURRRRR BUY OUR SHIT.

No. Fuck you. If I want to drink some piss warm generic light beer, I'll do it. If I want to take a tandem bike ride with Peter King and enjoy a citrusy Shock Top while watching the sun set, I'll do it. You want my man card? Take it. COLLECT ALL OF THEM. You get enough man cards and I bet they'll give you a $10 rebate at the Ed Hardy Shop. I don't need it. I'm not a real man. I listen to Snow Patrol. I drink rum and Diet Cokes. I like a good number of Hugh Grant movies. I don't give a shit. I do what I fucking want, which should be the first and last stupid retarded "man law" ever. Everything else is superficial bullshit.

[Central Rain]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

ian.64 wrote:

I'd like to see that character in an alternate version as he enters a real-life pub. Hey, karate moves! Karate moves! High five! Bottle juggling! Hug the man! Karate moves! Dance! Dance! Smack in gob! Kick in ribs! Stamp on goolies! Force-fed Heineken while still in bottle! Ambulance! Out-patients! Nurse, it hurts! Leg in plaster! In wheelchair for nine months!

Juvenile, yes. Satisfying? Completely.

I wholeheartedly support and endorse this project.

[Ray de Galles]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

evilC wrote:

ian.64 wrote:

It's not that such adverts for fragrances are jaw-droppingly bad or shabby - at their worst they're hugely banal and pretentious in their supposed stylishness...

There was an American spoof advert, a few years back, for a perfume called 'Pretentious'. Sadly, I can't find it online, though I know it used to be. I can't be sure if the perfume was ever actually made.

Not American but possibly this?

[evilC]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Nah, 'fraid not. This one had a woman and lots of (gold) sparkliness to it. Definitely an American woman.

Thanks anyway, though!

[Boris Carpark]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

hobbes wrote:

"I'm not going to be who you want me to be anymore."

This above all other cosmetic toss, makes me want to stove my telly in. Take note, manufacturors & peddlars of pig's piss.

Also
Voyage Prive.
Voyage Wanker, more like.

[Kettle]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Boris Carpark wrote:

ian.64 wrote:

I know not the life of an ad-man and it may be a sweat-inducing toil in the search for ideas

If anyone in advertising decides to post upholding this you will be obliged to use the phrase 'coal face' in describing your honest & worthwhile endeavours.

Having worked as "an ad man" for the best part of a decade, I can vouch that the closest thing to a sweat-inducing toil that was obvious was the fight over responsibility for the squeezing out of the turd that had the slightest bit of originality that day.

No matter who smelt it, everyone dealt it. Or no matter who dealt it, everyone smelt it. Or whatever turd-claiming credit for someoone else's work analogy comes to mind. I don't know. I can't remember. I was too busy being told to churn it out quicker to do anything like think.

Nowadays, couldn't tell you any good ads. Just not taking notice anymore. The only ad I'm thinking of at present is the Safestyle Windows "Buy One and you get one free, I say you buy one and you get one free" man. Because he knows, and plays, on the fact that he's a shit-eating grinning gibbon whose most defining moments in his life are being eeked out as a shit-eating grinning gibbon. Whose whole persona plagarises that of Fred Elliott in Coronation Street.

[Kettle]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Just seen an ad for KFC, where a lady is sat at her desk eating her lunch. A man, presumably her boss, comes uop to her desk to talk through some paperwork. The lady then gets a megaphone and shouts "LUNCHTIME IS MY TIME!!!!!"

Well, if you don't want to be disturbed, don't eat at your fucking desk. And don't tell me that there's nowhere else to fucking eat it. You've been to KFC. They have chairs. And tables.

[Sam]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Worn Old Motorbike wrote:

Yeah, that AT&T one is terrible.

Oddly, we've gotten two commercials straight from the UK lately. One is for Multi-Grain Cheerios where a guy asks his wife if she's eating them to lose weight. She asks if she needs to lose weight. Payoff: 'shut up Steve'.

Now we're getting one where a guy is eating them in the car, in the garage, so his kids can't get at them. He pretends he's locked in so they can't join him.

Do General Mills think Canadians won't notice that they have English accents, or that the steering wheel is on the right hand side in the car?

Interesting perspective on it. When North American ads are transplanted to British TV (I'm looking at you, Just For Men) they invariably have English voice dubbed over them, and practically everyone I know who I've spoken to this about is of the opinion that this is Just For Men (or whoever's being advertised) assuming that we won't understand it if it's in an American accent. That is, we'd rather they just left the ad unaltered. But you'd prefer to have it altered?