Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

[Brandenburger Toro]

No, seriously. Nearly all poetry is utter, utter dreck, particularly when it commemorates events of great emotional significance to the writer. But this is worse.

http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/cstanton/2009/09/11/honoring-september-11th-we-remember/

[Wyatt Earp]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

In the year Two Thousand and One on the Eleventh day of September,
The fair city of New York did suffer a terrible attack it will long remember
As two very tall buildings were each hit by a plane
A thing I hope will never happen again
For it did cause many folk to lament
When men on that terrible suicide mission were sent
To destroy those buildings at enormous cost to life and limb
All because they worshipped Allah and wanted to glorify Him
And after that day did begin the terrible war in Afghanistan
And in the fair land of Iraq also a war began
And people all over the world did quake with fright and worry
And it does not seem if it will end in a hurry.
And so I say, shame on those who carried out that terrible assault
By any standard one would have to judge them seriously at fault.

[Your Usual Table]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

Twas a fateful day in the month that is the ninth
When we witnessed horrors I still see every night
The children, they ran, and the women, they wailed
As into the Towers two airliners sailed

Those majestic buildings, how soon did they fall?
I often find myself wondering how they stayed up at all
But fell they did, so far they did fell
Like dropping two coins into the deepest well

I grabbed a screaming passerby and to this fellow I said,
"Please, brother tell me; How many dead?"
"Many, I fear", came the stout reply,
"But if you try to find out you'll surely die!"

When Kennedy was shot, when John Jensen scored,
When Angus Deayton was sacked, when Diana was floored,
I remember where I was and what I had to do
I had to write a poem - I think you will too

[Bruno]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

This hilarious thread has only got 120 views (121 now I reckon), because it's in Books. CV your 3rd stanza is sublime.

The day of that cowardly attack
By them terrists that came from Iraq,
I told my wife Marge
"Thank God Dubya's in charge!"
And since then I ain't never looked back.

[Wyatt Earp]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

A certain young fellow from miSr
Who really had rather a viSr-
-al hate for the West
That burned in his breast
Was taught how to fly. What a piSr.

[Bruno]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

In fairness to Mohammad Atta,
Let’s not pretend he hadn’t got a
Prior order from Cheney
To hijack a plane – e-
-vil far worse than half-baked dogmata.

[Your Usual Table]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

Thanks Bruno.

Although I must admit my mind is still reeling from -

As evil sought triumph
Through catastrophic strife
Towers fell and buildings crumbled
Tragically ending innocent lives

[Brandenburger Toro]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

Osama Bin Laden
Caused much Schaden-
-freude among people who hate freedom.
Let's kill them all! We don't need 'em.

[Wyatt Earp]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

George W Bush
Would probably have been out on his tush
In 2004
If he hadn't been handed a great excuse for having a war.

[Bruno]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

Oh, let's kill time, one more...

There once was a War against Terror
For whose pretext one couldn't ask fairer
Than a constant, veiled threat
Bidding we neither let
Up th'offensive, nor revisit error.

Too earnest?

[Brandenburger Toro]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

Nice!

[Bruno]

Andrew Blartblart presents the Worst Poem Ever

An Irishman liked my limerick!