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    It's Sunday, which means I must have been running around in the rain on a shite pitch somewhere near Frankfurt, blowing on a whistle. Today I reffed a team I'd shown three red cards to in one game earlier this year...

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      Superb blog this, IMP.

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        Cheers, Derek. It's main purpose is to keep me semi-sane and motivated.

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          This weekend, first it's dumb Dads screaming in the U7 league, then back to reffing in what I shall now refer to as Our League of Perpetual Crisis. Another afternoon when I've given very serious thought to quitting (though you're probably as sick of hearing that by now as I'm sick of thinking it).

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            This week, a family member comes to watch me ref. And takes some pics. And watches as the home team blames me for their 2-3 defeat.

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              Possibly of interest in this thread... https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...-quits-parents

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                Saw that piece, ad hoc - coughed out a tweet about it. Doesn't surprise me that his superiors would try to play the whole thing down.

                This weekend in Frankfurt, just when you think you must have seen it all, anti-semitic abuse aimed at a Jewish team. Which, according to their coach, happens "all the time".

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                  Another enjoyable report Imp, and sadly something that happens all too often. I have to genuinely applaud you for taking a stance and making sure the offensive idiots were removed, something that is perhaps easier to do at the lower levels of the game than further up the chain; you did what was right not what was easy and this is to be commended. As I have mentioned before on differing threads, as a ref I was subjected to racist abuse from spectators a couple of years ago over here. I quit the game, not only because of the abuse, but because the local FA did sod all to support me, make a stand, send out a statement about racism, punish the club concerned etc. I came back purely because my wife berated me for hanging around at weekends, clearly missing something I enjoy and perhaps are even quite good at. She was right, bollocks to them and I will keep officiating while I enjoy it. Thankfully there have been no repeat performances so far. In actual fact, I had a similar experience this weekend at a youth (u-13) game. I turned up at the ground to officiate at the men's league game on after the youth match, and decided to help out the young referee learning his trade by running the line for the second half. Ten minutes into the second half, the ref made a call one of the coaches (who is supposed to be a role model for the impressionable youth) took exception to, and he loudly and aggressively started to berate the ref, who was clearly overwhelmed. It saddened me, as a ref's mentor and trainer, to see this 50+ rabid individual ranting at a 16 year old for daring to give a free-kick against his team in the centre circle. I wandered up the coach, asking him to calm down before it got even more out of hand, when he started to give me a mouthful. I then took control in order to support the young ref, and made sure the rest of his coaching team (there is no stewarding at these games) got him under control and made him walk away from the pitch. I made it clear if they didn't I would advise the ref (didn't want to undermine him too much!) to abandon the game. Thankfully the sad fuck eventually calmed down and went on his way. It's only a game...

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                    Bloody hell. Coaches. One of the main pleasures I get out of coaching is going up to refs after games and seeing the relief when I thank them, rather than starting to bang on about that turned down penalty appeal in the 23rd. minute. Most of the times when coaches do that to me, I say, "I've no idea what you're talking about." Most of the time it's true - I genuinely can't remember the incident. And when it's not, how are they to know? If you try to explain the decision, or the laws of the game, they're not listening and just start ranting again.

                    Actually, for the red card handball on the line yesterday a couple of players tried to tell me that the laws had changed and it should only be a yellow. I would have loved to have been able to only give a yellow, because it's a harsh punishment when you know the penalty will likely be scored. But that law change hasn't happened yet. I put in the disciplinary report - "recommended punishment: no suspension". No idea if they take any notice. Poor bloke had only been on the field for three minutes.

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                      Players very rarely know the Laws, we should know that by now! Virtually every game I get a call for offside from the defenders, when the player in the offside position (not in itself and offence) hasn't touched the ball or is challenging a defender. As for your red card for handball on the line, correct call (sadly for the player). We are only 'allowed' consideration for a yellow instead of red in the case of DOGSO where 'the player, in committing the offence, was attempting to play the ball' (ie, not holding, pulling, pushing etc). And you are right, most coaches don't get it as well. In my senior game yesterday, a player went down with a minor lower leg injury (meaning I don't have to stop the game as it wasn't serious) on the halfway line. His team had possession of the ball, and despite the coaching staff and some of the players urging them to put the ball out (their call, not mine, I can't influence the game), they didn't, lost possession, and the other team went up the field and scored. According to the coach it was clearly my fault for not stopping the game for a minor injury (the player miraculously got up after the goal was scored), and clearly nothing to do with his stupid players for not putting the ball out. Idiot.

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                        Originally posted by imp View Post
                        Bloody hell. Coaches. One of the main pleasures I get out of coaching is going up to refs after games and seeing the relief when I thank them, rather than starting to bang on about that turned down penalty appeal in the 23rd. minute. Most of the times when coaches do that to me, I say, "I've no idea what you're talking about." Most of the time it's true - I genuinely can't remember the incident.
                        Ha, I had something like that yesterday (as per usual, Hockey rather than Football)
                        "You remember that incident when their goalie played the ball with his hand outside his area"
                        Er, no.
                        "That should be a yellow card, shouldn't it?!?"
                        Well, yes, I suppose but I don't recall anything like that happening in the game...
                        "Doesn't matter though, we picked up the loose ball and scored"
                        Why the hell are you putting me on the spot about it then?!?

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                          In Frankfurt today it snowed and it snowed, and almost every game in the city and the surrounding region got called off, but not mine. And so I began to wonder, What would I do if a player threw a snowball at the opposing coach?

                          One thing about reffing in the snow, you get to mark the line for 10 yards at a free-kick. Felt right fookin' pro, that did.

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                            Final column of the year - what an amateur ref spends his vast wages on. Probably should be in the Music forum.

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                              Originally posted by imp View Post
                              Final column of the year - what an amateur ref spends his vast wages on. Probably should be in the Music forum.
                              You get € 22.00? You're rolling in it. In the Kreisliga here (the lowest level with assistant referees), the three officials get € 51.00 all together. If they're lucky - or, indeed, unlucky -, they get a bowl of pea soup on the house as well.

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                                The paucity of imagination in insults aimed at referees is ruining the game.
                                I particularly liked that line.

                                Enjoy the break!

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                                  Thanks, wiblfibl. @treibeis. I know, it's excessive, and I'm a very lucky man. We had a bloke move to Frankfurt from Hamburg recently who was overjoyed (okay, mildly pleasantly surprised) at our comparatively fat remuneration, and our travel expenses system. €0.30 per kilometre, whereas in Hamburg you get the equivalent of one standard return ticket on public transport, regardless of how far you have to travel. It's a wonder you have anyone who can be arsed at all.

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                                    Interesting stuff as ever, imp, and I hope you enjoy your records.

                                    For the purposes of comparison, refs in the Spartan South Midlands League (or at least Division 2, which is Step 7 of the pyramid) get £27 + 30p per mile, while the refs’ assistants get, erm £26 + 30p per mile. For clubs that get 20 people watching a home game and don’t charge for admission anyway, it can be a heck of a cost.

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                                      Do you always have linos at that level?

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                                        Not always, no - a source of considerable frustration for the clubs, who feel the league doesn’t really take them seriously. It seems to me like the provision of all three officials is felt by clubs to be a characteristic of playing this level of football, so if that doesn’t happen, well, clubs might as well stick to the local league that exists just below the Spartan South Mids in north Bucks.

                                        Then again, the league as I understand it sometimes shares officials with neighbouring leagues, like the Essex Olympian League. So sometimes you will get a ref or assistants travelling from Chelmsford or wherever to MK. Not cheap. So it’s a complicated issue.

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                                          Well done imp on getting through the season. Can't be easy specially for ein Insel Ange. There'll be referees in the matches I'm coaching when we start back in the spring (under10s) I'm determined not to be a prick (and not to let me kids be) with people who are just doing their best to facilitate the rest of us.

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                                            Originally posted by imp View Post
                                            It's a wonder you have anyone who can be arsed at all.
                                            Oh, they get people to officiate. Most of them, however, have just finished (or just started) their 'A' Levels.

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                                              Harry, a monster of mentality, or just a mental monster? Is there a difference?

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                                                Paul Alcock has died.

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                                                  Really enjoy reading your columns IMP.

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                                                    Originally posted by diggedy derek View Post
                                                    Really enjoy reading your columns IMP.
                                                    That goes for me too

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