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    #76
    A Belgian, yesterday...

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      #77
      By my reckoning, England could meet Germany in the QF.

      Traumatic flashback for these two herberts.

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        #78
        Belgium manager Roberto Martinez: "I lived for 21 years in England..."

        Er, you were in Swansea for five years of that, Roberto.

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          #79
          I am agog at the fact that Roberto Martinez is the manager of Belgium.

          When did that happen? I must be Alzheimering my ass off.

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            #80
            Your shock will redouble when you realise Thierry Henry is his assistant

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              #81
              I know you're all dying to find out whether I made it back to Balham in time for 'the good sh*t': well, I didn't. Made the big mistake of switching to mainline at Victoria - which, for anyone planning to use it, is up sh*t creek this evening. So, I went back to the underground and ducked out at Stockwell - and watched proceedings on the bus to Balham.

              "Why were they showing it on the bus?"

              They weren't - I watched it via the BBC app on my smartphone. Got home for the post-mortem. Sky are still banging on about the draw now. Bet they wish they were actually showing the blessed tournament.

              Pretty decent draw all round. Looking forward to it now.

              Originally posted by Felicity, I guess so View Post
              Piss easy group for England...
              Right, because we've never heard that before...

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                #82
                Almost as quick from Frankie Boyle

                England’s group features an unprincipled tax haven, a country notorious for paedophilia, and a place where women are denied basic human rights, playing against Tunisia, Panama and Belgium

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                  #83
                  I've been trying to adapt the Ferdinand de Lesseps palindrome for England's upcoming clash of the tax havens, while staying clear of the temptation for the obvious bum sex option. If their manager's strategy is dull and defensive, we could go with

                  a man, a plan, a banal Panama.

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                    #84
                    Originally posted by Ray de Galles View Post
                    Belgium manager Roberto Martinez: "I lived for 21 years in England..."

                    Er, you were in Swansea for five years of that, Roberto.
                    And in Motherwell for a year too.

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                      #85
                      Have 'TORRID CANAL HAMMERING' at the ready.

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                        #86
                        Originally posted by Guy Profumo View Post
                        Are you sure about that?


                        Given we always start badly, we'd have had a 0-0 draw and a win before facing Belgium in the last match.
                        But they'll have six points and just need a draw, which would put England through

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                          #87
                          Originally posted by Nishlord View Post
                          Have 'TORRID CANAL HAMMERING' at the ready.
                          Whichever team wins can say "Smoke on that, you cunts"

                          Meanwhile, Joe Hart's inevitable blunder against the North Africans can be "Tunis Penis" or "England Taste Tunis Piss as Hart Has Another Flappy Fuck-Up"

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                            #88
                            "USELESS TWO-HATS"?

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                              #89
                              The only real interest I can see in the group stages is the possibility of Argentina not getting out of their group. The warm balls have done their best to try to ensure that Russia and England get out of theirs, albeit followed by probable last 16 humiliation.

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                                #90
                                The best thing about England's group is that it will give Glenn Hoddle the chance to mispronounce "Tunisia" again.

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                                  #91
                                  England will play out two witless, soul-destroying draws against TUN and PAN, before comfortably beating an already qualified Belgian second string. They will then narrowly/luckily beat Group H winners Senegal, raising expectations before a 00s style plucky quarter final defeat.

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                                    #92
                                    If Brazil and Germany win their groups and last 16 games, they would play England and Belgium in the QFs if they beat the theoretically weaker top two from Poland's group.

                                    Neither England nor Belgium can reach the semis without beating Brazil or Germany in that scenario.

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                                      #93
                                      This is the fifth tournament out of the 6 Nigeria have been in where they've been drawn with Argentina.

                                      Argentina have won each game by the odd goal, it's real groundhog day shit.

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                                        #94
                                        Brazil's group looks tougher than it usually is, the Swiss and Costa Ricans are no mugs, and Serbia are my provisionial dark horses.You could easily see Brazil drop points and not win the group, or even fail to get out of it.

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                                          #95
                                          It's made odder by the relative lack of repeat meetings in other groups. England v Tunisia is the most recent meeting I recognize. Brazil v Costa Rica 2002. England v Belgium way back in 1990.

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                                            #96
                                            I wonder how being drawn with Germany, and in the facing group to Brazil, has gone down in Mexico, given their obsession with getting to the 'fifth game'.

                                            Tip: Mexico to beat Germany in their opener, win the group and set up a Bra-Ger rematch in the second round. It'll be hard to motivate Brazil's players for that one, but perhaps Tite can manage it.

                                            (Mexico to lose to Switzerland or Costa Rica in the last 16, obv)

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                                              #97
                                              I was wondering whether Brazil might consider throwing their last game if Germany have finished second. OTOH Mexico in Europe rarely turn up as strong as in other continents, and Brazil rarely start poorly (and when they do, they get help from a lenient ref).

                                              Mexico's seeding also didn't help then any; they got Sweden instead of, say, Tunisia. Switzerland's tough draw might be Karma.

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                                                #98
                                                Tunisia are a tougher proposition than South Korea.

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                                                  #99
                                                  Apples are a tougher proposition than oranges too.

                                                  (ie, Korea and Tunisia were in different pots)

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                                                    South Korea might be able to beat Panama, who seem as weak as anyone England could have drawn (possible exception: Saudi Arabia).

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