Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Here we go then for the X11 Ladies League Season 51. And big changes have happened in the closed season, with the much needed clear out of most of the deadwood, which has seen the elimination of Division 7. It doesn’t feel like much of a loss, though it did mean the elimination of R1 byes for all but a handful of sides. These matchday 1 games were not the first matches of the season for the OTF sides therefore, but rather the opening league encounters.


    Code:
    Division 1a
    
    Viking South Utsira	2 - 1	Spearwives of Ygritte
    Fudida 21'			Macedos 38'
    H.Hovland 72'
    
    
    Division 4i
    
    Liverpool FCL 		0 - 1	Coxy Ladies Wulpen
    				Madjarevic 74'
    
    Tartan Tawties FC 	3 - 0	Drakaina
    Walker 22'
    Berenger 59', 79'		Petit (sent off) 34'
    
    
    Division 5:16
    
    Watergate Bay Surfers 	3 - 6	Erbil
    Klinkenberg 48'			Hinton 8'
    Sterkx 56'			Curval 11'
    de Borger 69'			James 78', 91'
    				Isgren (pen) 84'
    				Lister 88'
    
    
    Division 5:20
    
    Gajas Sporting		0 - 2	Sockford Emollient
    				Duggan 85'
    				Ericson 87'
    
    
    Division 5:21
    
    Solent Sirens		0 - 1	Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
    				Diksha Dalmiya 73'
    
    
    Division 5:28
    
    Orangeries 		0 - 0	Menywod Maeshafn
    
    
    Division 5:31
    
    Târnãveni 		1 - 1	Csiki Girls
    Silva 61'			Smet 48'
    
    
    Division 6:33
    
    LNWR Locomotive		0 - 0	Stoke City Ladies XI
    
    
    Division 6:36
    
    Arsenal LFC 		3 - 0	Ullapool Northern Star
    Krona 1'
    Buendía 39'
    Ibrah (O.G.) 68'
    
    
    Division 6:39
    
    Gidlow Stars Ladies	3 - 0	Invisible Ladies
    Ivy 65'
    Judd 86'
    Bocchetti 90'
    Alvington (missed pen) 49'
    
    
    Division 6:40
    
    Brasil Ninjas FC 	0 - 3	Witches of Chiswick
    				Mercier 36'
    				Mormont 49'
    				Altstrand 60'
    
    
    Division 6:53
    
    Chuchas United 		0 - 3	Zeugma Dostluk Spor
    				Fetele 47'
    				Áláfinesse (pen) 65'
    				Escobar 72'
    
    
    Division 6:56
    
    The World Is Yours 	0 - 2	Dublin City WFC
    				Cruz 15'
    				Dunganstown 60'
    From the moment that Velvet Android took over and relocated Viking South Utsira they have looked like a decent bet to get into the higher echelons of the leagues. However achieving that still takes some managing, many have taken over promising sides and mismanaged them to obscurity, so The Blood Eagles debut in the second tier following successive promotions was something to celebrate.
    Their first opponents were established Division 1 outfit Spearwives of Ygritte, which sounds like it’s a Game of Thrones reference, or if it isn’t it ought to be. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never watched that particular show. Anyway, wherever their handle derives from, they would provide Viking with a proper trial by combat. That was something certain Blood Eagles, such as Manuças Fudida, have been waiting their whole careers for. Fudida wasn’t about the let the opportunity slip by, as she headed the opener on 21 minutes.
    The visitors had the ball in the Utsira net almost immediately following, but Dick Tator wasn’t having it. He had no objections to their strike on 38 minutes however. That equaliser wasn’t really with the run of play, though, and the game was better represented after Heidi Hovland put the hosts back in front on 72 minutes.
    And that was that. VSU being life in Division 1a with a win. Could it be the start of a third successive promotion winning campaign??

    Season 51 brings us two Divisions with a pair of OTF teams in them, one of which is 4i. One of those sides is Coxy Ladies Wulpen, who opened their league campaign with a trip to Anfield to play Liverpool FCL.
    The Waders sent out a strong starting XI and made headway on the back of it as they created the only two first half chances. However no goals were forthcoming, and then, approaching the hour, theWulpen Assisstant Manager took advantage of his free rein to sacrifice 33/14 midfielder Moreen Mahony for 19/6 sub Laetitia Roosens. As the crowd was absorbing this change, Liverpool had the ball in the net, but fortunately for Coxy Ladies it was disallowed. And then three minutes after that Zoe Leroy counteracted her benches folly by nobbling one of the hosts best players, forcing them into a similar change. Leroy got booked for that, but worth it!
    The Waders took advantage of the re-levelled competition to strike the only goal of the game on 74 minutes, Ursula Madjarevic heading home after a corner. And that was that, apart from the Wulpen Assisstant giving boss Janik further kittens by taking off two more experienced players and replacing them with kids! More filters needed in the substitution strategy, I think.
    The other 4i OTF side is of course Drakaina, who opened with a trip to Glasgow to take on Tartan Tawties FC.
    For half-an-hour this looked like a challenging but potentially surmountable ask for Etienne’s girls. Yes, the Tawties had gone 1-0 up after 22, but the game was still pretty evenly balanced and getting something from the day didn’t appear to be passed The Dragons. That was still true following Florica Vulturescu’s 10-day injury on 29 minutes (this was distressing, but with Fionulla Mourne replacing Vulturescu don’t diminishing), but then the hope was snuffed out on 34 minutes when the first card shown of the game, to forward Sandrine Petit, was a straight red.
    That was the first sending-off in the former Wulpen youth teamer’s career, so the chances are she will be back available in a few weeks time to take on her girlhood club. However she certainly sold her teammates down the river her as in her absence the Tawties added two more to leave Drakaina on the end of a harsh 3-0 final score.

    How would Erbil take to the sixth tier following promotion last term? The first part of our answer to that would come against Watergate Bay Surfers.
    This was certainly a good test for the credentials of Jdsx’s side as Bay had only missed out on promotion to Division 4 in last season’s play-offs. And the initial answer to how Erbil would settle was ‘just fine, thank you’ as Caroline Hinton and Sónia Curval had them two to the good after just 11 minutes. It was still 2-0 at the interval, with little sign of the excitement to come. However it was clear that Watergate were playing a full part in the match. If they pulled one back quickly it was game on. They scored within three minutes of the restart.
    Now it was the hosts turn to run things, as they drew level on 56 minutes and then went ahead on 69. Having gone from 2-0 up to 3-2 down it would have been understandable if Erbil heads had dropped but no, they kept going and levelled themselves when Mellissa James’ 78th minute effort from distance nestled in the corner. Sandra Brundin laid that on, as she had Curval’s goal, so it was a surprise when Erbil’s assistant gave Brundin the hook two minutes later. However this would prove an inspired substitution as just four minutes into the game it was Brundin’s replacement, Leslie Levein, who was chopped down in the box to give Saga Isgren the chance to put her side ahead.
    Now heads did drop, and they were Surfer ones. The effort was not just lack for a second come-back but also from defensive duties as first Harmony Lister found the target from range (88) and then James got her second with a header (91).
    And that, finally, was that. Erbil had won their first Division 5:16 game 6-3 away at last season’s runners-up. As markers laid down go, that is a pretty formidable one!

    Sockford Emollient were also looking to make a statement after promotion as they travelled to Gajas Sporting.
    Just like the game above, this one was settled by goals in the last ten minutes. Prior to those strikes The Gatorsharks had been the better side, creating a number of chances and not giving any up. But it was still 0-0 with 85 minutes on the clock. The stage was set for a hero, and Sockford had just the woman in former Man City player Toni Duggan, who was Foxy265’s main closed season signing. Duggan got her head to Maci Conrad’s cross, the header bulleting into the net. Conrad wasn’t done as she set up another two minutes later, teeing the ball up nicely for Lotta Ericson to fire in from range.
    That settled the issue as Framleyshire took possession of its first there Division 5:20 points.

    The first OTF derby of the season took place on the opening day when Solent Sirens and Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC clashed at Mayfield Park in Division 5:21.
    The sides had arrived at the game from very different directions, The Sirens after promotion from Division 6:42 via the play-offs and The Sea Spirits after a rather painful few months in Division 4k. Kanjeng were looking to move on the from that quickly, and had a chance within seconds when a foul in a dangerous position allowed Leila Azeite to line up a direct shot, but her radar was well off.
    The rest of the opening half passed off without incident, with the next chance coming on 53 minutes. That was also for the visitors, but Jolanda Dennen’s header was high above the goal. Tia Farisy’s lob attempt on 68 minutes was also over, though rather closer, but what was needed was an effort actually on target. That finally arrived for SeanoftheShed’s side on 73 minutes when Azeite swung the ball over and Diksha Dalmiya threw herself at it to head home.
    Dalmiya’s ‘reward’ for showing her teammates the way was to be subbed two minutes later, Rahma Ikmal coming on in her place. Ikmal’s only contribution to the game was to pick up a yellow card for brutal play after her 90th minute foul on Angela Cruchaga left the home player limping.
    That was the last significant action as The Sea Spirits claimed a useful win. As for Andrew7610’s Sirens, they will hope for better returns (and at least a shot) in future games.

    Comment


      A late stutter last season saw Menywod Maeshafn forced into the play-offs as Orangeries overtook them to claim the Division 6:56 title. However IsThatcherDeadYet’s side won their one-off shoot out (in an actual shoot-out) and the two sides found themselves facing off in the opening Division 5:28 game of the season.
      Orangeries had the better of the first half, and would have led but for Stellan Offsajed’s whistle. The second period was Maeshafn’s turn to make the running, but again there was no reward, in their case from three attempts rather than one. All in all, a bore draw to start with, which is a bit of a pity for two sides with positive previous seasons to celebrate.

      Two more sides freshly promoted were Csiki Girls and Târnãveni.
      The Csiki’s spent the first half absorbing pressure, which is another way of saying they were heavily on the back foot (37% possession and 0-3 in chances) but emerged unscathed. Ad Hoc’s side made the most of this when they created their first opportunity of the match in the 48th minute, Saoirse McInns crossing and Floriane Smet rising serenely to flick the header home.
      The hosts pushed on again after this, creating another batch of chances. One, eventually, had to go in but the resilience of the Csiki’s defence, exemplified by ‘keeper and player-of-the-match Emma Laude, restricted them to just one. Which probably rather irritated the Târnãveni manager, who happens to be our old ‘friend’ Zdan. Our collective hearts bleed for him, I’m sure. One can look forward to his press release about this, which will surely take it on the chin and definitely not bleat and whine like a three year-old.
      There was one black spot for Csiki Girls on their return to Division 5:31 though, a 14-day injury suffered late on by McInns.

      Whilst a number of our sides went up last season, a few moved in the other direction, including LNWR Locomotive. The Steamers were at home in their first match back in the seventh tier, Stoke City Ladies XI the visitors to Mollington Street.
      It wouldn’t prove to be Locomotive’s day. LNWR were clearly the strong team, but couldn’t turn heavy pressure into a surfeit of chances, creating just three in the game. Luck was also against The Steamers as the one opportunity that was finished, by Phrigit Heart, was ruled out and they also suffered a nasty injury up front, Corália Vilhena landing awkwardly and twisting something. She will be out for 19 days.
      There will be better days in Division 6:33 for Viktor Boskovic’s side, I’m sure.

      A new name for an old side as AFC Beloved of Inanna have become Ullapool Northern Star. The Scots first league game under that moniker involved the long trek South to take on Arsenal LFC.
      That the trip would be fruitless was signalled as early as the first minute as the hosts took the lead. Ullapool never really got a handle on the game after that, Arsenal adding a second before the interval, and then a unfortunate third when Zeena Ibrah put through her own net.
      After three seasons of drift, there is clearly significant work Delicatemoth needs to do if she wants her side to make an impact in Division 6:36 this season.

      The league re-arrangement has obviously benefitted some sides, such as Invisible Ladies opening opponents Gidlow Stars Ladies who had a relegation wiped out on the grounds that the Division they had been demoted to no longer exists!
      Exactly how Gidlow contrived to finish in the bottom three of Division 6:12 last season is an open question, as they gave The See-Throughs the runaround in this one. All of the damage came after the break, Pebblethefish’s side shipping three. And they even had the let off of a missed penalty before the hosts properly got going.
      Particularly concerning for the See-Throughs boss will be the late collapse, it was still 1-0 at 85 minutes. His side will have to show more resolve than that if they want to climb out of Division 6:39.

      Witches of Chiswick were also taking on a reprieved side in Brasil Ninjas FC.
      However The Bewitched were in no mood to go lightly on their opposition. A dominant first half showing was capped by Natalie Mercier’s 36th minute opener, though that was the least Wiblflibl’s side had deserved. Lyanna Mormont did something about that just four minutes into the second period, heading in her first of the season. And when Sarah Altstrand struck directly from a free-kick on the hour, the match was won.
      There may be harder tests ahead for Chiswick in Division 6:40, but this was a good start.

      The clear out hasn’t managed to eliminate all the zombies, as Zeugma Dostluk Spor found when they arrived at Chuchas United.
      Not that the hosts were a soft touch, even without a manager. They had gone close to promotion to the tier above last season (when the previous guy was still around), only losing out it the play-offs. So it was a tough baptism for Antepli Ejderha’s relocated side.
      The first half saw Zeugma make light of that, and be well on top. And do so despite losing midfielder Rachel Forsyth to a 12-day injury midway through. Despite the visitors dominance there was no score at the interval, but that changes swiftly after the break when Asabe Fetele (47) found the target. AE’s side didn’t rest on laurels, but kept on pushing and won a 65th minute penalty that Merdaleiro Áláfinesse converted.
      Luana Escobar smashed one in from 30 yards on 72 minutes to complete the rout and get Zeugma off to a flier in Division 6:53.

      Ever so slightly rebranded Dublin City WFC travelled to The World Is Yours for their opening Division 6:56 game.
      The hosts name is an invitation to take charge, and it was one that Mortal Joe’s side were not going to pass up on. Rita Cruz headed Dublin ahead after a quarter of an hour’s play in the opening half, when she finished off Britta Normstedt’s centre. 15 minute in was clearly the prime time as far as the Dubs were concerned as they struck at the same point in the second-half, Brady Dunganstown benefitting from Veronica Kåmark’s assist.
      And that was that. Three points on the board for Dublin, which is the sort of start they were missing last season.

      Comment


        Great work Janik. I'm sorry you no longer have the opportunity to find new synonyms for 'adherents', but I felt it would be good to have a sort of fresh start. As for my team - yes, formerly highly promising players such as Kha and Spath have not been developed properly (as for Zeena Ibrah... hmph). And the former boss sold our super young goalie.

        Blood Eagles is the best nickname.

        Comment


          Thanks DM, glad you like it!

          If I haven't said so already, by the way, it's great to have you back in the league. Best of luck rebooting the Goddesses/UNS.


          Many thanks Janik of course for the excellent opening salvo above. Spearwives of Ygritte is indeed a Game of Thrones reference, and they're a very good side under the number one manager in the league so I thought we were in for a baptism of fire there. Beating them in our first ever game at Division 1 level was an amazing start. I can't believe we can keep this up – I certainly don't think we're aiming for a third straight promotion*! If we can stay up this season I'll be very happy.


          Edit: *Mind you, the fact that none of my veterans announced their impending retirements means I've got them for at least next season too, if I want, and I can't deny the possibility of Lurdes Quental, Manuças Fudida and Moa Jonsson appearing in the Xpert Ladies top flight is a tantalising one...!
          Last edited by Various Artist; 17-03-2018, 16:03.

          Comment


            Cool, I think we did the number 2 giant-killing (by seeding) in the Ladies' Cup, though the opposition weren't actually all that.

            Comment


              Originally posted by delicatemoth View Post
              Blood Eagles is the best nickname.
              Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
              Thanks DM, glad you like it!
              I found out what a blood eagle actually was the other day. I hope South Utsira don't treat the referee with that level of disrespect.

              Comment


                Originally posted by Antepli Ejderha View Post
                Wow, they are lovely I'll have a look to see which of the Zeugma franchise is worthy.
                Originally posted by Hot Orange View Post
                I seem to have accidentally deleted my earlier post. The gist of it was "Thanks, VA, these are magnificent."
                Originally posted by Sits View Post
                I saw it. It was a very nice post. Although it's now a bit blurred in my memory with your one about Iceland's socks.
                Just spotted these from the previous page. If VA Sports can make anything as fine as Iceland's socks I'll be doing OK I reckon. Thanks all. Will have a squiz at the Sulawesi shirt situation, Sits.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by SouthdownRebel View Post
                  I found out what a blood eagle actually was the other day. I hope South Utsira don't treat the referee with that level of disrespect.
                  Heheh, yeah I've tried to discourage my players from performing them on opponents or officials during the actual matches.

                  I first came across the concept when I was about 12, reading a TV tie-in book of my parents' called, I think, simply Vikings!, by the great Magnus Magnusson. It had a description of the process so startlingly graphic it's stayed with me ever since. So I decided Viking South Utsira just had to have it as a nickname, once I'd decided they were going to wear red.

                  I've discovered only more recently that the blood eagle is now thought by scholars to probably be an entirely apocryphal thing, and was likely never actually performed by Vikings. But hell's bells, if you're such a badass warrior race you can conjure that sort of reputation to go ahead of you, then you'll never need to do it for real – the mere rumour of it would terrify most opponents into submission. VSU, naturally, hope to carry a little of its same aura with them for the same reasons...
                  Last edited by Various Artist; 17-03-2018, 20:17.

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                    Just spotted these from the previous page. If VA Sports can make anything as fine as Iceland's socks I'll be doing OK I reckon. Thanks all. Will have a squiz at the Sulawesi shirt situation, Sits.
                    Ta, no pressure.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                      Heheh, yeah I've tried to discourage my players from performing them on opponents or officials during the actual matches.

                      I first came across the concept when I was about 12, reading a TV tie-in book of my parents' called, I think, simply Vikings!, by the great Magnus Magnusson. It had a description of the process so startlingly graphic it's stayed with me ever since. So I decided Viking South Utsira just had to have it as a nickname, once I'd decided they were going to wear red.

                      I've discovered only more recently that the blood eagle is now thought by scholars to probably be an entirely apocryphal thing, and was likely never actually performed by Vikings. But hell's bells, if you're such a badass warrior race you can conjure that sort of reputation to go ahead of you, then you'll never need to do it for real – the mere rumour of it would terrify most opponents into submission. VSU, naturally, hope to carry a little of its same aura with them for the same reasons...
                      I heard about it recently on the excellent History of England podcast. If I ever decide to resurrect the Suth Seaxe Ealdormen, I'll be sure to put them in a league far, far away from any Viking raids!!

                      Comment


                        Better not put them in the Heineken either SdR, there could be a turf war there too: I've already bagged a few Saxon kings of England for Royal Atlantis to go alongside the, er, Viking ones I've also got scattered throughout the squad. I hope to include an Æthelred Unræd sometime soon!


                        Originally posted by Sits View Post
                        Oh they're lush VA. The bright green would work well for Sulawesi Babirusas' home kit; of course there would need to be an orange/white one for the Sulawesi flag-themed second kit...... But the off-the-peg white sashed ones currently in use are ace anyway so no sweat.
                        I've just discovered Sulawesi means, essentially, 'Iron Islands'. Which really does sound like a Game of Thrones reference.

                        Is this the flag you mean by the way, Sits? It's pretty cool, if so:



                        I'm also immediately thinking I could use my Mars Rovers template (which has a circle motif) to create something suitable for the Babirusas pretty easily.

                        Edit: Is it me, or does the above look a bit like some sort of optical illusion? I swear I keep catching glimpses of a face in it when I'm not looking straight at it...
                        Last edited by Various Artist; 17-03-2018, 23:23.

                        Comment


                          Something along these lines, perhaps?



                          Or perhaps something a bit more similar to the designs from the last page?

                          Last edited by Various Artist; 18-03-2018, 02:05.

                          Comment


                            Oh my God! Are these uploaded? I feel a season-alternating kit sequence coming on. Wonderful, all of them. And they even have the wickle Babirusa logo.

                            You're a gent.

                            Comment


                              And they're up. Looking good down/up Sulawesi way.

                              Comment


                                Wow, have they been approved already? I did indeed upload them last night on spec, as soon as I'd finished them. Bohemia Prag must like me, he's approved the last two batches almost instantly.

                                Delighted you approve anyway Sits, you're very welcome.

                                Comment


                                  Ah, see I associate the blood eagle with Celts, doubtless due to 2000AD's Sláine comic strip. I couldn't find an image from the issue where Sláine and his dwarf Ukko were about to be put to death in this manner, but here he is having a warp spasm.

                                  Comment


                                    Season 51 kicked off with the X11 Ladies Cup, Round 1. Which was rather busier than in previous seasons, following the zombie cull and consequent winding up of Division 7, which removed all but eight of the R1 byes!
                                    Code:
                                    Arsenal			0 - 1	Drakaina
                                    				Mourne 55'
                                    
                                    Drakaina		3 - 1	Arsenal 	
                                    Heggarty 23', 64'
                                    Winter 62'
                                    
                                    Drakaina win 4-1 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    FC BRAILA		1 - 2	LNWR Locomotive
                                    Romero 37'			Heart 11'
                                    				Ryman 67'
                                    
                                    LNWR Locomotive		2 - 1	FC BRAILA
                                    Ryman 39'			Wálter 65'
                                    Nixon 87'
                                    
                                    LNWR win 4-2 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Dublin City WFC		1 - 2	Noppa FF
                                    Tyrell 43'			McCarthy 8'
                                    				Thirlwell 62'
                                    
                                    Noppa FF		1 - 0	Dublin City WFC 	
                                    Buxton 27'
                                    
                                    Noppa win 3-1 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Fear IsNotA Weakness 	0 - 3	Viking South Utsira
                                    				A.Austrheim 3'
                                    				N.Austrheim 18'
                                    				H.Hovland 67'
                                    
                                    Viking South Utsira	3 - 0	Fear IsNotA Weakness
                                    B.Kvalvik 23'
                                    N.Austrheim 34'
                                    H.Hovland 44'
                                    
                                    Utsira win 6-0 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Gajas Sporting		0 - 2	Invisible Ladies
                                    				Paul 5'
                                    				van der Kwast 73'
                                    
                                    Invisible Ladies	1 - 1	Gajas Sporting 	
                                    Neves 3'			Carlson 16'
                                    
                                    Invisible win 3-1 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Menywod Maeshafn	0 - 1 	Caramba Girls
                                    				Pupic 83'
                                    
                                    Caramba Girls		1 - 0	Menywod Maeshafn 	
                                    Casqueira 67'
                                    
                                    Caramba win 2-0 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    F.C U Mobitelco		0 - 4	Solent Sirens
                                    				Abbiati 1', 13'
                                    				de Beauvoir 31', 66'
                                    
                                    Solent Sirens		1 - 2	F.C U Mobitelco
                                    Stieglecker 29'			Stomrud 2'
                                    				Melin 40'
                                    
                                    Solent win 5-2 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Sharpinas		0 - 2	Csiki Girls
                                    				Igreja 12', 38'
                                    
                                    Csiki Girls		2 - 0	Sharpinas
                                    Clevan 7'
                                    Smet 74'
                                    
                                    Csiki Girls win 4-0 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Ullapool Northern Star 	0 - 0	Vikings Ladies FC
                                    
                                    Vikings Ladies FC	0 - 1	Ullapool Northern Star
                                    				Calleja 37'
                                    				Kha 53'
                                    
                                    Ullapool win 1-0 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Unattached		0 - 3	Sockford Emollient
                                    				Batistuta 36'
                                    				Parks 77', 91'
                                    
                                    Sockford Emollient	3 - 1	Unattached
                                    Batistuta 13', 89'		Lucas 74'
                                    Parks 42'
                                    
                                    Sockford win 6-1 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    La Vecchia Signora 	1 - 2 	Erbil
                                    Varga 55'			Isgren 37'
                                    				Hinton 69'
                                    
                                    Erbil			2 - 0	La Vecchia Signora 	
                                    James 5'
                                    Isgren 87'
                                    
                                    Erbil win 4-1 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Witches of Chiswick	1 - 4	Fjollträsk BK
                                    Altstrand 69'			Khramova 14'
                                    				Hellström 35'
                                    				Sundström 47'
                                    				Lopes da Silva 78'
                                    
                                    Fjollträsk BK		1 - 0	Witches of Chiswick 	
                                    Macedo 22'
                                    
                                    Fjollträsk win 5-1 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    The World Is Yours	0 - 0	Coxy Ladies Wulpen
                                    
                                    Coxy Ladies Wulpen	2 - 0	The World Is Yours
                                    van Sttenberghe 18'
                                    Vandenbergh 72'
                                    
                                    Wulpen win 2-0 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Yopney St Oh		0 - 2	Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
                                    				Azeite 32'
                                    				Luangpruksachat 73'
                                    
                                    Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC	2 - 0	Yopney St Oh 	
                                    Dennen 15'
                                    Azeite 63'
                                    
                                    Kanjeng win 4-0 on aggregate
                                    
                                    
                                    Zeugma Dostluk Spor	0 - 2	Ambush Ladies FC
                                    				Törnblad 18'
                                    				Kihlström 73'
                                    
                                    Ambush Ladies FC	4 - 0	Zeugma Dostluk Spor
                                    Malmborg 24'
                                    Isabel Cabanas 31', 45'
                                    Kihlström 49'
                                    
                                    Ambush win 6-0 on aggregate

                                    No zombies to speak of, but Drakaina were still playing something suitably ghoulish as they took on Arsenal of Division 6:8.
                                    The Dragons were certainly in a battle, as the match stayed tight into the second-half. That said, Etienne’s team had been the better one, and Fionulla Mourne’s 55th minute winner was merited. A win away is good, but 1-0 is narrow enough that there is still all to play for when the teams get back to Delphi.
                                    Stick or twist was the question for the return. Which attitude would the Greeks to decide to take? They were ahead and technically didn’t need anything more, but also would be in trouble if Arsenal scored twice and they hadn’t got any. So attack it was.
                                    A strong first half performance was rewarded midway through by Gael Heggarty’s long range strike. Arsenal equalised on the night after 47 minutes, but that was completely against the run of play. It did leave The Dragons one goal from trailing, up until Grace Winter’s 62nd minute finish. Teenaged forward Heggarty added a third five minutes later, and that despite playing with a minor injury picked up late in the first half. And that was that, Drakaina were comfortably through.
                                    Their next task is AS Steaua of Division 5:12. The first leg is away from home.

                                    LNWR Locomotive faced an opponent from the same tier as themselves when they took on FC BRAILA of Division 6:60.
                                    The Steamers where the first side motoring, Phrigit Heart firing them ahead on 11 minutes. The hosts levelled towards the end of the opening half, which was swiftly followed by a nasty injury to Locomotive’s Narcisa Mocãnitã that will keep her out for 18 days.
                                    Viktor Boskovic’s side could be forgiven concern for their teammate after that. They certainly found themselves on the back foot for most of the second half as chances rained in on Maral Parseghian’s goal. The stopper stood firm though, and LNWR took advantage of that to steal a win, Lisa Ryman firing home from range midway through the second period.
                                    The Steamers were well set-up for a counter-attacking performance in the return, as they knew that BRAILA had to score at least twice to overturn the away goals netted in the opener. The visitors pushed, and Locomotive picked them off with moves such as the one that ended with Ryman extending the advantage on 39 minutes.
                                    The situation got more nervous when BRAILA levelled on the night midway through the second-half, particularly with The Steamers not converting their chances. One more goal for the visitors would force extra-time, and there was to be a late strike. However it came for Boskovic’s charges, newly signed free-kick specialist Charlotte Nixon doing what she has just been signed to do on 87 minutes.
                                    The Steamers reward is two matches against As Tricolores FC. Despite Tricolores being in Division 3c, Locomotive are the higher seeded side so will play the opening leg away.

                                    Slightly renamed Dublin City WFC (Women’s has now been worked into the suffix rather than the main name for anyone not picking up the change) were trying to punch upwards in Round 1 as they faced Division 5:3 side Noppa FF.
                                    The size of the task was made clear to Mortal Joe’s charges as early as the 8th minute, which was when Noppa edged in front. However Dublin stayed in touch with some dogged defending and got their reward for it just before the interval when closed season signing Nancy Tyrell marked her debut with a spectacular long-range strike.
                                    Unfortunately the Phoenix Park outfit couldn’t kick on from there. Instead it was Noppa who got the winner on the night just past the hour mark. There is much to do in the return in Sweden.
                                    Dublin needed to score two to turn the tie around. It would appear that their hosts had figures that one out, as they proceeded to strangle the life out of the return. There were hardly any shots, and just the one goal which came from the hosts on 27 minutes. That was the worst thing to happen to the home fans as it simply encouraged their team to go even more into their shells.
                                    Dublin will now concentrate on the league.

                                    One could have forgiven Viking South Utsira a little disorientation in the early stages of their game against Fear IsNotA Weakness of Division 6:24. After all, The Blood Eagles are simply unused to playing in the Cup at such an early stage of the season.
                                    But as it turns out there wasn’t any, Velvet Android’s side taking a probably decisive lead in the tie by as early as the 18th minute. That was when Nina Austrheim added to cousin Asta’s third minute opener.
                                    The visitors pushed less hard after the break, but did add another strike on 67 minutes to make the return at Ragnar Rock moreorless irrelevant. That third goal was finished off by Heidi Hovland, midway through the second-half.
                                    The visiting players must at least have felt a little trepidation ahead of the second leg, despite what the powers-that-be chose to call their club. Would The Blood Eagles be in a particularly gory mood? The local members of the side were certainly not in a mood to take prisoners, as a scion of three of the big local dynasties (Bergljot Kvalvik, Nina Austrheim and Heidi Hovland) struck in the opening 45 minutes. However the manager convinced everyone at half-time that Fear IsNotA Weakness were already dead, so that was all the damage inflicted.
                                    VSU should be able to give their Division 5:1 Round 2 opponents the run-around if their name, Corpulent FC is anything to go by.

                                    Invisible Ladies were another trying to punch up a Division when they took on 5:20 outfit Gajas Sporting.
                                    The opening leg saw the See-Throughs on the road. An away goal was the target, and an early one if possible. That is exactly what Pebblethefish’s side got when Chelsea Paul headed home with less than five minutes on the clock. That set a tone for the match, and though Gajas had more possession it was even in terms of chances. But not goals, as the only other strike was also registered by The See-Throughs on 73 minutes, Alva van der Kwast nodding home. Both assists were provided by the same player, Núbia Salvador.
                                    Any stress the San Seethrough crowd might have felt in the return was alleviated as early as the 3rd minute when Sofia Neves nodded home. Gajas pulled one back on 16 minutes, a goal they deserved over the course of the two ties, but following that The See-Throughs defended very efficiently, to the point where ‘keeper Persephone Ostrovski didn’t face another shot all match.
                                    There was a price to pay for the win though, specifically a 14-day injury to defender Afton Merson. That will keep her out of a least the first leg of the second round tussle with Division 3c outfit SC Heerenveen, and might see Merson miss the away leg as well.
                                    Last edited by Janik; 19-03-2018, 10:39.

                                    Comment


                                      Menywod Maeshafn were paired with Caramba Girls, who operate a step lower down the pyramid than the Welsh side in Division 6:47.
                                      Despite that Maeshafn were the lower seeds, and therefore at home in the opening leg. The seeding committee looked like they knew what they were talking about for once as Caramba clearly shaded IsThatcherDeadYet’s side over the 90 minutes. There was just one goal. It arrived with 83 on the clock and went... with the run of play.
                                      That left Maeshafn facing a distinctly uphill battle in the return leg. At least they knew that any sort of win would do to, at a minimum, force extra time (always true of a two-legged match where the away side wins the opener 1-0). But theory and practice? Ah well, different things. The Welsh outfit had the majority of the ball, but could only create a single chance during a tight match. It wasn’t taken, and the hosts put a final nail in the Maeshafn coffin with a winner on the night with 23 minutes to play.
                                      Next season. Always next season...

                                      Enough sixth versus seventh tier encounters yet? No? Well, good, because Solent Sirens taking on F.C U Mobitelco of Division 6:62 was another.
                                      This one was going the way of league status and seeding from as early as the first minute, as that was when Geovana Abbiati headed Andrew 7610’s side ahead. Abbiati added a second after 13 minutes and then turned provider, setting up Simone de Beauvoir for further goals not once (on 31 minutes) but twice (also on 66). A good day at the office for the Sirens.
                                      It took a lot of pressure off the return at Mayfield Park, even allowing for a 2nd minute goal from Mobitelco. The Sirens struck back just before the half-hour through Marlene Stieglecker header, but overall the first 45 was not a good one for ‘keepers as the visitors had the ball in the net twice more, the first disallowed but the second on 40 minutes standing. Three legitimate shots, three goals scored!
                                      The margin was still commanding, and would be enough if Banaz Pinachi could find her form. Which she did, dealing with the only two shots that came her way after the break smartly enough. OK, so maybe a defeat on the night was disappointing, but overall progress was easily achieved. Next up for Solent will be a pair of matches against one of the remaining blots on the Official Ladies League, Homemaker Blues. Their manager calls himself ‘Dipstick’, which is really being much, much too kind. The good news is this raging pillock is sliding down the leagues these day, with his spell in the top flight a very fading memory, and Division 3d now their level. Good luck to Andrew and his Solent side in putting the utter cock in his place.

                                      Newly promoted Csiki Girls got their competitive juices flowing with a first leg trip to Sharpinas, who hail from Division 6:43.
                                      A strong first half had the Csiki’s two to the good via a brace of strikes by Carlota Igreja. There was no real dispute that this was fair on the match, as possession and chances had been tipped significantly in Csiki Girls favour, both showing around a 2:1 ratio. However those Igreja’s strikes were the only return, but then that was all that was really needed by Ad Hoc’s side, who took a strong lead back to A kertem for the return.
                                      The second match saw Csiki Girl’s asking their opponents to break them down, something Sharpinas notably failed to do. In fact it was the hosts who stretched further away as first Ellie Clevan on 7 minutes and then Floriane Smet after 74 headed in. The two goal first-leg lead would have sufficed seeing as the Csiki’s only gave up a single chance at home, but four? Well, that was completely unassailable.
                                      The next challenge of Ad Hoc’s troops will be two games against Bristol Spartans WFC of Division 4k. The first leg will be at home with the Csiki’s.

                                      Tough opponents were in town for the debut of Ullapool Northern Star. Appropriate ones for a Scottish coastal settlement as well, though Vikings Ladies FC (Division 5:32) forebears were not always particularly welcome visitors it must be said.
                                      Ullapool took one of the traditional villagers options, to fight fire with fire. In fact the hosts treated the Minchview crowd to a highly encouraging display, with control and chances created. About the only thing Delicatemoth’s side were missing was a goal. Vikings, by contrast, barely threatened. But will it be the same at Vinland next week?
                                      A goalless home draw in the opening leg did mean that any Ullapool goal in the return would be particularly valuable. Worth more than a single goal in fact, though not quite double as the old saw has it. It would be enough to claim the win even if Vikings also scored, so the butterflies were not massive when the hosts had the ball in the Star net on 6 minutes. And then they were calmed even more when Robert Nixon disallowed it anyway.
                                      Following that the match took on the pattern of the opening leg; Vikings most of the possession and DM’s girls most of the chances. The number of shots Ullapool were having had to pay dividends eventually, the breakthrough arriving on 37 minutes when Jovanna Calleja ghosted in behind a static home defence, round the ‘keeper and calmly stroked home.
                                      It could have got even better for Ullapool after the break when they were awarded a spot kick, but Ninorta Kha’s attempt lacked conviction and was saved. Possibly she wasn’t the right player to ask to take it, given this was her 100th appearance for the club (in this guise and previously) during which time Kha has only managed a single goal!
                                      The miss ultimately wouldn’t matter as Calleja’s strike was more than enough to send Star through to a Round 2 encounter with IK Sleipner Dam of Division 6:25. Minchview will host the second leg.

                                      A punnily named foe awaited Sockford Emollient in the form of Division 6:26 side Unattached. Just think how that appears on transfers and player histories... Yeah, very clever.
                                      What people who make bad puns need is a good metaphorical shoeing, and The Gatorsharks were just the girls to do that. Foxy265’s side even did it efficiently, needing just four chances across the 90 minutes to net their strikes by Alexia Batistuta (36 minutes) and two from Monica Parks (77 and 91).
                                      That last goal should make the return at John Spencer Street a cruise.
                                      It was quite a case of going through the motions in the return, but if the effort level was slightly higher than that it certainly wasn’t top gear either. Well not throughout the team, but they were certainly busting a gut up front as Batistuta and Parks were engaged in a personal battle to see how could score the most across the tie. Parks’ late strikes in the opener had moved her ahead, but Batistuta was back on level terms after she headed home. The cross from that came from Parks, disabusing any notion that their little wager was going to get in the way of team performance.
                                      Batistuta didn’t return the favour when Parks struck on 42 minutes to edge back ahead (the assist was from Maci Conrad). Unattached interrupted the party briefly to pull one back against the run of play on 74 minutes, but then it was back to Batistuta to finish things off on 89 and level the competitors honourably all square.
                                      That should have meant the wager was null and void. However the pairs teammates noted the phrasing of it was wrong, that the player that scores the least would perform a forfeit, and that was now true of both! Cue the TV cameras bursting in on the winning dressing room to find two partially disrobed Gatorsharks performing “I’m A Little Teapot”, complete with actions.
                                      Once the TV cameras had quickly retreated out again and their producer had made a mental note that live dressing room footage from a Women’s match without alerting the occupants first was maybe a mistake, it was on to the Round 2 draw. That paired Sockford with Honey Badgers of Division 5:32, the second leg to be played in Framleyshire.

                                      It was a name with lots of baggage for Erbil as they took on La Vecchia Signora of Division 6:49.
                                      The Old Ladies seemed pretty sprightly as they matched their betters for much of the first half, and indeed it was rather against the run of play when Saga Isgren’s direct free-kick put the visitors ahead on 37 minutes.
                                      The hosts, whose sole unwholesome connection appears to be the name, drew level ten minutes into the second-half, but Erbil were not done either as Caroline Hinton struck from distance on 69 minutes to give her side a lead to take back home.
                                      Jdsx’s side were clearly in a strong position, and it got stronger after just 5 minutes of the return when Mellissa James rose to head home a corner. Following that Erbil held The Old Lady comfortably at arm’s length, which is something they should appreciate the style of even if it’s not enjoyable when it happens to them instead of they doing it to someone else. Once the match was into the last five minutes and so clearly and definitively won, Erbil allow themselves a little bit of freedom and added another, Isgren scoring her second free-kick of the tie.
                                      Next up will be Janes Addiction of Division 5:22, with the first leg on the road.

                                      Comment


                                        In among all these tractable draws, someone had to get an intimidating one. That someone proved to be Witches of Chiswick, who coped Division 3b side Fjollträsk BK.
                                        The first leg took place at Field Lane. The Bewitched were soon under the cosh, dropping two behind at the interval. Fjollträsk added a third, but Wiblflibl’s team continued to fight and pulled one back on 69 minutes when Sarah Altstrand’s direct free-kick found the target. This turned out to be just a brief respite, as the visitors added one more to reclaim their three goal advantage.
                                        There was not much hope ahead of the return, rather it was always going to be damage limitation. This was achieved as the hosts were limited to just one more goal, netted midway through the opening half. However the defensive action did mean that The Bewitched never had any chance of coming back. In fact they didn’t even manage a shot.
                                        Repeat the litany – next season, next season...

                                        The opening round paired Coxy Ladies Wulpen with Division 6:56 outfit The World Is Yours.
                                        The opening leg was nothing special. At all. In fact it was a complete bore. The only incident of note in the entire 90 minutes was Waders defender Claire Michel suffering a 7-day injury. Neither ‘keeper had a shot to save, which prompted some supporters’ representatives to wonder if they could have their money back. Entertainment it wasn’t.
                                        It did set the second leg up very well, though. Wulpen were level, which made them favourites. But the lack of an away goal was concerning against a highly defensive side. If the Waders went 1-0 down, well, then they would have problems. So when The World Is Yours put the ball beyond Sarah Asselman just second after the start, a collective groan went up around the Curlew’s Nest. However that turned to relieved cheers as everyone spotted referee Hans Grüber ostentatiously shaking his head. Readers of In-Game PRs will know this is the second crucial opposition ‘goal’ against Coxy Ladies that Grüber had disallowed in days. He will never want for a drink in Koksijde...
                                        Following that let off, Janik’s team took command of the match. Actually having shots was a start, but they went one better and broke the deadlock on 18 minutes, Eva van Sttenberghe streaking clear to fire home. The tie was still evenly balanced after that, one World strikel would have had them ahead in the tie on away goals, so a second was needed to make Wulpen feel safe. Laetitia Vandenbergh provided that on 72 minutes.
                                        The Waders will now face Hammer Girls DF of Division 6:14, with the first leg at the Curlew’s Nest.

                                        Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC were up against a familiar name under unfamiliar (but now active) management in Yopney St Oh of Division 6:57.
                                        The Sea Spirits dominated the opening half at the Jim Coombes Ginnel, and were only partially rewarded by a half-time score of 1-0 given to them by Leila Azeite’s 32 minute free-kick. The second-half was more of the same, Thao-Ap Luangpruksachat making it two for SeanoftheShed’s girls on 73 minutes. Another would have been more reflective of the overall balance of the opening leg, but Rahma Ikmal’s celebrations were cut short by referee Laura Norder’s whistle.
                                        The Yopney manager was incognito for the return, presumably not wanting to witness a fairly foregone conclusion. Kanjeng barely got out of second gear, but even so that was way too much for their opponents as Kacey Rust was redundant in the home goal. Two more goals were added, defender Jolanda Dennen firing in just her second ever career goal from range after 15 minutes and Azeite netting another direct free-kick on 63.
                                        The Sea Spirits can expect a harder challenge in the next round when they take on Division 5:4 side IFK Penny Lane.

                                        Newly renamed Zeugma Dostluk Spor welcomed Ambush Ladies FC of Division 4k for their first match under their fresh brand. Which was a tough start.
                                        Ambush weren’t in a mood to allow Antepli Ejderha side to enjoy their debut. The hosts tried hard, but were caught out by a breakaway in the first twenty minutes and a goal directly from a dubiously won free-kick on 73. ZDS did create a couple of chances in the 90 minutes, but couldn’t find the target and now have a long way to fight back in leg two.
                                        Could Zeugma surprise their hosts in the return? Well, they did have a couple of first half shots, but in essence, no they couldn’t. Ambush went with full frontal attack, had more of the ball and more chances and were three to the good on the night by the interval. The tie was dead by this stage, with Ambush’s fourth of the day/sixth of the tie in the second period mere frippery.
                                        Fingers crossed for a more winnable opening round in Zeugma’s assault on the Cup next season.


                                        Code:
                                        [u]Round 2 draw[/u] - first listed teams home in opening leg
                                        Csiki Girls		vs	Bristol Spartans WFC (4k)
                                        Corpulent FC (5:1)	vs	Viking South Utsira
                                        Coxy Ladies Wulpen	vs	Hammer Girls DF (6:14)
                                        Honey Badgers (5:32)	vs	Sockford Emollient
                                        Invisible Ladies	vs	SC Heerenveen (3c)
                                        Janes Addiction (5:22)	vs	Erbil
                                        IFK Penny Lane (5:4)	vs	Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
                                        IK Sleipner Dam (6:25)	vs	Ullapool Northern Star
                                        Solent Sirens		vs	Homemaker Blues (3d)
                                        AS Steaua (5:12)	vs	Drakaina
                                        As Tricolores FC (3c)	vs	LNWR Locomotive

                                        Comment


                                          Originally posted by Janik View Post
                                          What people who make bad puns need is a good metaphorical shoeing
                                          I resent this.

                                          Comment


                                            Originally posted by Janik View Post
                                            That should have meant the wager was null and void. However the pairs teammates noted the phrasing of it was wrong, that the player that scores the least would perform a forfeit, and that was now true of both! Cue the TV cameras bursting in on the winning dressing room to find two partially disrobed Gatorsharks performing “I’m A Little Teapot”, complete with actions.
                                            Once the TV cameras had quickly retreated out again and their producer had made a mental note that live dressing room footage from a Women’s match without alerting the occupants first was maybe a mistake, it was on to the Round 2 draw.
                                            That flight of imagination makes up for it, however.

                                            Comment


                                              In all seriousness, thanks very much Janik for another mighty effort.
                                              Originally posted by Janik View Post
                                              The local members of the side were certainly not in a mood to take prisoners, as a scion of three of the big local dynasties (Bergljot Kvalvik, Nina Austrheim and Heidi Hovland) struck in the opening 45 minutes. However the manager convinced everyone at half-time that Fear IsNotA Weakness were already dead, so that was all the damage inflicted.
                                              VSU should be able to give their Division 5:1 Round 2 opponents the run-around if their name, Corpulent FC is anything to go by.
                                              Indeed, I'm looking forward to the bad punning opportunities this opposition will provide over the next fortnight with considerable enthusiasm.

                                              Our local dynasties were all celebrating the first leg, by the way, as after three and a half years real-time in charge at the club it was the first time ever I fielded an all-Utsiran starting XI, of whom debut academy product Asta Austrheim was the senior at 30; she was also captaining the side for the very first time:

                                              GK
                                              Monike Austrheim
                                              D
                                              Britta Klovning
                                              Mette Hovland
                                              Lina Hovland (Moa Jönsson 60)
                                              MF
                                              Birgit Austrheim
                                              Asta Austrheim (C)
                                              Bergljot Kvalvik
                                              Kristin Hovland
                                              Rosa Kvalvik (Lurdes Quental 70)
                                              F
                                              Nina Austrheim (Emilie Klovning 60)
                                              Heidi Hovland

                                              The previous record was 9 locals in the starting side, set just a month or two back – which the men's side broke soon afterwards with their own perfect 11.

                                              Rosa Kvalvik was making her debut, and set up Heidi Ho's goal three minutes before being replaced by Quental, 20 years her senior. The VSU
                                              academy last night gave me my third 17/4 MF in ten days, following up Rosa (vanilla) with Siri Austrheim (moody) and now Sølvi Klovning (burglar) – the latter has already got a bite on the transfer market, fortunately, as we've got bugger-all war chest for our maiden crack at Division 1 and a couple of hideously strong opponents next.
                                              Last edited by Various Artist; 19-03-2018, 16:06.

                                              Comment


                                                Bugger me. Viking North Utsire today went (with 6 locals in the XI and five more on the bench) to a surging Ciricarii side who have beaten us in the past more often than not, had won a dozen games in a row until Friday's unlucky penalties exit in the Cup QFs to the top seeds, and hadn't conceded a goal in regular play in two months (!!), and won 2-0 with two second-half goals from veteran striker Kent-Arne Fridholm to effectively seal promotion to the Ultimate League top flight.

                                                We got lucky in that their only two players on a suspension both got booked in the Cup, meaning they were two defenders down and hence I correctly 'predicted' they'd have to go an unfamiliar 3-5-2 as there was no real alternative, so that will have hurt them. Plus I threw everything I could financially into a WB, reasoning it was now or never as there was a four-way logjam at the top end of the table – also including Breezly 46 and B.Ö.K. – and those two were also playing each other. Since permutations of our three rivals still have to meet over the final fortnight, I figured that if we could steal a march here and extend our two-point lead on the pack then we could as good as seal it.

                                                And so it turned out, as the other pair obligingly drew: hence, just three weeks since we last sat in 4th place, we suddenly have a four-point lead at the top over B.Ö.K., a six-point cushion to 3rd (Breezly) and an insuperable 7-point advantage over Ciricarii and 5th-placed George Best XI, who rejoined the cluster themselves with a win today ahead of coming to us next week. The latter were always going to be tough opponents in the penultimate fixture – but since our final game is at rebuilding Aardvark Owls (0-0-12, 1-60 for the season to date) then it should be a guaranteed three points against the whipping boys to see us home whatever happens in between. For our first season at Division 1 level, this is beyond all expectations. There are some celebrations on Utsira tonight.

                                                Comment


                                                  We'll done VA. Cardiff Dragons won a big one against table topping Sporting Lisburn. That pretty much guaranteed us a play-off place to get back to Division 1 and makes us title favourites.

                                                  Comment


                                                    Well played guys, top stuff

                                                    Comment

                                                    Working...
                                                    X