Men and pissing in the air

[Ray de Galles]

It's a primal urge isn't it? Weeing outdoors in as impressive a style as possible. Territorial, I suppose.

Personally I like to describe as high an arc as possible with my urine but I know of chaps who like to "fence" with others while micturating or even "Ghostbusters" style "crossing the streams".

You?

[Bruno]

Men and pissing in the air

Sine wave.

[hobbes]

Men and pissing in the air

but I know of chaps who like to "fence" with others while micturating or even "Ghostbusters" style "crossing the streams

I think perhaps there's a good chance that they're struggling not to admit certain facts to themselves.

[Ray de Galles]

Men and pissing in the air

That they like rugby?

[Bruno]

Men and pissing in the air

So at the airport the other day there was a guy at the trough talking loudly into his cellphone headpiece, making his dinner plans while the rest of us did our thing. Is that tacky? I thought it was a little tacky.

[Gerontophile]

Men and pissing in the air

strangely, I never did this. I remember others pissing as high as possible on the brickwork at the school bog, but I knew not to get involved.

Mainly because I was very bad at it. Was it just me, or didnt you have to have a semi, to piss very high?

Men: work it out for yourselves.

[Gerontophile]

Men and pissing in the air

Bruno wrote:

So at the airport the other day there was a guy at the trough talking loudly into his cellphone headpiece, making his dinner plans while the rest of us did our thing. Is that tacky? I thought it was a little tacky.

did he use no hands?

Did he wash them afterwards?

All pertinent.

[Ray de Galles]

Men and pissing in the air

If he'd been using the handset it might have got a little tacky, yes.

[Bruno]

Men and pissing in the air

Don't know. I was too busy inspecting the floor tiles.

[G-Man]

Men and pissing in the air

I don't think arch-pissing is universal. Other men like to aim straight and destroy with maximum force, which arch-pissing can't accomplish.

[Purves Grundy]

Men and pissing in the air

At the Arabella Hotel next to the Cape Town International Conference Centre they fill the urinals with ice cubes, which has the effect of scattering your piss and leaving you with a multitude of piss stains all over your trousers and shoes. Consequently it's essential that you stand about 6 feet away and describe a graceful arc with your yield, both to prevent receiving piss stains and to avoid standing in a pool of other people's ice-cold urine.

[evilC]

Men and pissing in the air

hobbes wrote:

but I know of chaps who like to "fence" with others while micturating or even "Ghostbusters" style "crossing the streams

I think perhaps there's a good chance that they're struggling not to admit certain facts to themselves.

Harri Saer wrote:

That they like rugby?

Same thing, innit?

(W.E. to thread!)

When I was at middle school (8-11, for those of you who didn't have the three-stage education that I did) alot of the boys (but not me) went through a phase of pissing as high up the urinal as possible. Eventually, they passed the enamel and were onto the brickwork*. However, there was one kid - Roast was his surname - who was a bit of a geek and a smelly one at that, who would always try to ingratiate himself with the other kids. Thus he joined in this 'craze'. But, one day, he took it all too far and, in trying to hit the cistern, the inevitable happened: the arc swung around and he ended up pissing all over his own head and face! ...In front of several mocking peers! To make things worse, as the rumours of this rapidly spread, they quickly reached the teaching staff. Now, our main teacher was a rather eccentric lady with an almost parodic 'posh accent' and she (in an act that would probably get her discplined, these days) came straight out with it, in front of us all, at the start of the very next class: "Roasty-Toasty!!! What's this I hear about you peeing all over yourself?!? How disgusting! Get out of my sight!" ...and she sent him home. Mind you, he was probably glad to get away from the baying pack that the class had become.

To make things worse for him, he was wearing all-grey that day, so there was no hiding the 'mishap'.

Men - you have been warned: don't perpetuate this behaviour, lest it end in shame for your misguided kids.

Heh!

So... do men play with their stools in a similar, status-oriented manner?

[ad hoc]

Men and pissing in the air

The demise of indoor smoking has created a corresponding disappearance of urinal-inhabiting fag-ends to be destroyed by streams of piss. It's another of those unintended consequences of the ban, like being able to smell punter BO, which reveals a lack of systems thinking among the powers that be.

[Guest]

Men and pissing in the air

Whoever can come up with the answer to this, will save me hours accumulated contemplating throughout the years.

How come, when you sleep and your body needs to rid itself of urine, you can be dreaming a dream of the kind that it's so clear it's like real, and you're dreadming that you're in a loo, riddin' the body of the urine, but you still do not piss all over yourself in bed?

I mean, you can talk in your sleep because in a dream you're tricked in your mind thaht it is actually happpening, and you even have people walking in their sleep, but you do not piss in your sleep.

And to add, how come when one wakes it's an erection like the gods built it up for you. That is some sort of mechanism, hence, mostly why morning erections, but try to get to the loo, sitting down standing up, it's hell. You have to piss in the tub, and still duck.

[beak]

Men and pissing in the air

ad hoc wrote:

The demise of indoor smoking has created a corresponding disappearance of urinal-inhabiting fag-ends to be destroyed by streams of piss.

Yes, this saddens me: I like to have something to piss at.

In absence of all other motivation, I will aim straight for the plughole to see how loud a gurgling sound I can coax out of it.

Pissing for height is strictly schoolyard, and as for other types of novelty pissing.. well, you obviously play rugby union.

So, who here has drank piss?

[Wyatt Earp]

Men and pissing in the air

Bruno wrote:

Sine wave.

How do you manage that, given Newton's Law of Gravitation?

[Gangster Octopus]

Men and pissing in the air

dogbeak wrote:

So, who here has drank piss?

Are we talking urine or Sam Smith's lager?

[Hofzinser]

Men and pissing in the air

And to add, how come when one wakes it's an erection like the gods built it up for you. That is some sort of mechanism, hence, mostly why morning erections, but try to get to the loo, sitting down standing up, it's hell. You have to piss in the tub, and still duck.

That's because that's the time of day when your testosterone levels are at their highest. Why exactly they are at their highest at this time, however, I do not know.

[beak]

Men and pissing in the air

Gangster Octopus

Are we talking urine or Sam Smith's lager?

i'm talking serious, real piss. steaming hot yellow justice. i reckon at least one person on otf, maybe more, has drunk piss. possibly straight from the tap.

ganja wrote:

And to add, how come when one wakes it's an erection like the gods built it up for you. That is some sort of mechanism, hence, mostly why morning erections, but try to get to the loo, sitting down standing up, it's hell. You have to piss in the tub, and still duck.

incorrect, all you have to do is learn how to piss whilst doing a handstand, without pissing in your own face.

[tracteurgarcon]

Men and pissing in the air

Hofzinser wrote:

And to add, how come when one wakes it's an erection like the gods built it up for you. That is some sort of mechanism, hence, mostly why morning erections, but try to get to the loo, sitting down standing up, it's hell. You have to piss in the tub, and still duck.

That's because that's the time of day when your testosterone levels are at their highest. Why exactly they are at their highest at this time, however, I do not know.

Not sure how true this is but I was told that when you are lying down with a full bladder it puts pressure on the male G-spot thus causing some serious 'Morning Glory' (not to be confused with Perth Glory which is something else entirely).

[G-Man]

Men and pissing in the air

I like the urinal ice, purves. The trick is to target one block from an non-spraying angle, and annihilate the fucker with a combination of geometry, impact and heat. Providing a running Ed Murrow-style commentary is optional.

[tracteurgarcon]

Men and pissing in the air

Why on Earth... wrote:

Bruno wrote:

Sine wave.

How do you manage that, given Newton's Law of Gravitation?

Horizontally?

Anyone else gone down the Larry David route and taken to sitting down to do it?

I find it's much easier, no aiming issues and lessens the chances of any unexpected 'dribbles' after you think you've finished and there's no splashback.

[Bruno]

Men and pissing in the air

Why on Earth... wrote:

Bruno wrote:

Sine wave.

How do you manage that, given Newton's Law of Gravitation?

Huh?

Wyatt, I have degrees in music, it's a wonder I manage anything.

[Bruno]

Men and pissing in the air

tratorello wrote:

Anyone else gone down the Larry David route and taken to sitting down to do it?

At home, certainly.

[Purves Grundy]

Men and pissing in the air

The expression "hot yellow justice" has had me giggling for a good five minutes.

But no, I haven't.