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**Gangster Octopus** · 11-02-2009, 12:53

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Break a leg.

**Femme Folle** · 11-02-2009, 12:55

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Good luck! (not that you'll need luck - YOU CAN DO THIS!)

**Femme Folle** · 11-02-2009, 12:56

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Y'know, I think fewer of you would have difficulty driving if you did it on the CORRECT side of the road.

Heh.

**Stumpy Pepys** · 11-02-2009, 12:58

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Yes, good luck.

I haven't driven for about ten years and it's become a psychological issue, in terms of starting again.
Added to this, I'm living in a different country and have never driven abroad.

I think I need a friendly English-speaking driving instructor to restore my confidence. My girlfriend's starting to get annoyed with doing all the driving.

**Femme Folle** · 11-02-2009, 13:06

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Stumpy, get on that Autobahn and put the pedal to the metal (as they say in the Deep South USA)!

**The Awesome Berbaslug!!!** · 11-02-2009, 13:08

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Good luck max.

If it's any consolation max, it took me four goes to get my licence, and I managed to accumulate only 2 major faults and three minor faults. The only three times I've ever nearly been in an accident were in the test itself. On the first test the car in front of me stopped dead at a junction and I stood on the brakes, apparently I should have foreseen this somehow.

On the second one a little old lady stepped out onto a pseudo road crossing that wasn't actually a zebra crossing, but everyone treated it as such. Once Again I stood on the brake and avoided robbing someone of a great-granny. Big red X. the Third time I didn't even manage to pull out of the car-park, because when presented with a new insurance disc for my mam's car, my sister went out and put it on the family car that I was going to do the test in, so the car wasn't properly insured, automatic fail.

I eventually did the Test in Clifden through irish, the day after the Glazers bought man utd, and two days after my favourite pub was sold. It was a dark time. Clifden had no road markings at the time, and my test was on during the friday morning mart.

Clifden is rather unique in having a very large number of old people who've probably never been in a car, and who wander out into the middle of the road like cows. The test was going very well until I was out doing a bit of driving just outside the town, and as I came to a bend I encountered a car coming the other way, on my side of the road.

Once again I stood on the brakes, once again the back wheels of the car went about three feet into the air. The other driver went back onto his side of the road, and I completed the test, once again in the firm knowledge that the stars had once again combined against me to make me fail yet again. I completed the rest of the test pondering on how unfair the world was that my mother and my uncle had a driving license, when a sane person would put on a crash helmet before getting into the car with them and muttered away.

I was very very surprised to discover when I was told that I had passed. Basically don't worry too much about it, remember always to be checking your mirrors, and with a prevailing wind, and the fall of ground behind you it will all go well.

**San Bernardhinault** · 11-02-2009, 13:16

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

I finally took my test late - I was 32, I think.

I, too, failed before. I had lessons in 1989, but was a deeply nervous uncertain unconfident teenager. I was so bad I didn't even take the test. I "re-learned" when I left University, but failed twice more.

The weird thing was that it was almost all nerves. And the nerves, for me, were about not wanting to take the test again because I had no money. The nerves almost killed two cyclists, had me travel about 100 yards once I was meant to do an emergency stop, and had me completely at a loss as to how the windscreen wipers were meant to get switched on.

So, when I finally passed, on my third attempt, and on my third different set of learning to drive, the confidence came from knowing that if I failed it was no disaster, and I could just take the test again.

Good luck.

They say that learning to drive is harder when you're older. This is probably true. But I found passing the test is much easier when you've got some confidence.

Of course, I still get derided by my girlfriend for only learning to drive when I was over 30. I have to explain that living in Oxford, Manchester and London there really was no need at all.

**evilC** · 11-02-2009, 13:30

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Good luck, Max.

I'm 43 and I'm considering starting lessons soon. (I already ride bikes, but have a 'habit of bad luck' with falling off them!)

I suppose it may be a bad time to mention that, when I saw the thread title, I thought it was about this.

Check that fourth paragraph, though. Further evidence of declining driving standards / increasing impatience perhaps? Actually, 'impatience' is probably too kind a word for it. I'm not really sure what would be an appropriate one, though. It's the same kind of mentality that makes people want to pull out from behind me and overtake me as I am in the middle of pulling out at a junction, or when I'm doing 40-50-ish (itself too fast, really) down little country lanes. If you get the chance to see the print version of that article (in today's Grauniad) it has one of the most unbelievable driving photos I've ever seen, in it.

Good luck again, Max. Just ignore impatient bastards and you'll be fine.

**WOM** · 11-02-2009, 14:31

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Wow. Some late drivers about, eh? I was lined up at the licensing office the day after my 16th birthday. After taking driving school, I passed on my first go. That was 25 years ago.

Just a few years ago, after riding my motorbike on a graduated license for five years, I went for my full M Class. As the tester did a walk-around on my bike, my horn wouldn't work. Automatic fail. It was a clear sunny day, and of course, the scheduled retest day was cold and pissing down.

**Guest** · 11-02-2009, 14:35

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

evilC wrote:

I suppose it may be a bad time to mention that, when I saw the thread title, I thought it was about this.

I haven't got the print copy, but I saw some of the CCTV footage yesterday of people coming literally within an inch of their lives. The bloke who ambled across the closed crossing and was missed by a whisker by a train going at full pelt actually made me jump and swear loudly.

And Max, good luck with the test!

Dara driving

(There's some rudeness and some stuff about sex. And the RAF.)

**Brandenburger Toro** · 11-02-2009, 18:29

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Best of luck!

**Guy Profumo** · 11-02-2009, 18:45

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Same from me.

Break a leg, kidda.

**Guest** · 11-02-2009, 18:52

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

I sympathise a lot with what you're saying. My Dad nagged me for years about learning to drive, even though I didn't really want to (what is it about Dads? Do they see driving as some modern rite of passage that all real men must pass through?) I knew it would be a good thing to do though, and eventually submitted to the lessons.

Although I had a really good and nice teacher, I despised those lessons. It was a horrible experience that I came to dread each week. But I passed first time in the end, and am extremely glad of it now.

As someone said above, check your mirrors often (roughly every six seconds I was taught) and make all your movements clear and deliberate, perhaps even exaggeratedly so, so there's no question you did check the blind spot, look both ways etc. Otherwise you'll be fine.

**Cavalry Trouser Tips** · 11-02-2009, 19:28

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Good luck - I failed twice aged 18, went off to uni, got a job and passed third time aged 23.

**Cal Alamein** · 12-02-2009, 01:13

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

I'm not about to make any jokes - most licensed American teenagers wouldn't have a prayer in hell of passing the UK driving test.

I've had the opportunity to drive your roads and after a successful day it is a feat to be celebrated.

Good Luck - relax and make it third time's the charm!

**willie1foot** · 12-02-2009, 02:42

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Best of luck Max! You'll piss it in mate!

**Guest** · 12-02-2009, 02:50

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Good luck Max

I'm learning at the moment myself - at 40....getting there, slowly.

And tonight I pick up my first car - a '96 Holden Astra Hatchback. Assembled just across the Mersey from where I grew up, in Ellesmere Port. Strange that init?
I then have to drive it home in Sydney rush hour traffic - yep I have a 'supervising driver' but she doesn't want to drive a manual. Should be fun eh? Looks like rain too.

And just to confirm the stereotype I already have one of its hubcaps.

**Guest** · 12-02-2009, 03:02

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Good luck, Max.

I bet you can't wait to get over here and do your first hook turn.

**Tactical Genius** · 12-02-2009, 03:06

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Discipline is needed.

**WOM** · 12-02-2009, 03:38

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

I think that ignores a host of other mitigating factors which...

**Uncle Ethan** · 12-02-2009, 07:30

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Dont stress Max. If you fail just do the test down here. Judging by the driving I see every day a visually-impaired, one armed midget with a club foot could sail through whatever passes for a driving test.

Learn these simple rules:

1 Never, EVER, allow another car to merge into your lane.

2 Drive in the right hand lane of a two lane road at all times, doing 20kph under the speed limit

3 If on a three lane road as above but drive next to someone doing the same in the middle lane.

4 After completing 2 and or 3 for several kilometres swerve across to turn left.

5 Do NOT under any circumstances indicate before performing this manouevre

6 Never, EVER allow a car to merge.

7 After forcing the car on your left to come to a complete halt by refusing to allow him into your lane, move into his.

8 Do NOT indicate whilst performing this manouevre.

9 When turning left do so as slowly as possible. Bringing the car to a complete stop is preferable.

12 When turning right hurl your car across as fast as possible. ALWAYS cut at least half the corner off the other lane as you turn.

13 Never, EVER allow another vehicle to merge into your lane

14 Decorate your car in the following way:

a) Put stuffed toys on every available space, blocking all windows.

b) Plaster the windows with highly amusing descriptions of how country boys are studs

c) Put a Christian fish symbol on your back window

d) Hang a crystal from your rear view mirror and put a sticker in your window saying magic happens.

This will allow sensible drivers to get well out of your way.

**willie1foot** · 12-02-2009, 10:05

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Best of luck Max! You'll piss it in mate!

**Gangster Octopus** · 12-02-2009, 10:20

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

Eight hour double!

**JtS** · 12-02-2009, 12:15

A trian Wreck Car Crash of a thread

How did it go?

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