My Aspelund bed is a fucking dick

[WOM]

I saw a few black squirrels in Calgary. Dusky aren't they? Charcoal more than black. Like a regular squirrel cleaned chimneys or had a terrible accident changing his printer cartridge.

Well, we've got 'em both dusky gray and black-black. And in Trinity-Bellwoods Park downtown, a growing population of albino ones. Up at the cottage, we've an equal number of red squirrels, but them's a whole different species. Best of all, of course, are the chipmunks...which aren't a squirrel at all, but very friendly and cute as fuck.

[Sits]

I would dispute the chipmunk-not-squirrel theory WOM, based on my encyclopaedic knowledge. Of Wikipedia.

The only chipmunk I ever saw was behind the Bose factory(?) outside Boston. I was staying in the mock timbered hotel on the highway and had just about reached the conclusion it would be impossible to go for a walk anywhere when I saw the little critter.

[Gangster Octopus]

You don't want one of these beds...

[Benjm]

You don't want one of these beds...

That doesn't quite match the bedroom injury story from Germany some years ago, in which some guy dressed up as Batman jumped off a wardrobe and sustained quite serious injuries. Unfortunately prior to doing so he had tied his partner to the bed but after some delay the emergency services eventually attended the scene, so it ended reasonably happily.