Improbable Player Product Endorsements

[Anton Gramscescu]

I'm not talking Thierry Henry and the va-va--voom, and I'm definitely not talking about any sporting gear endoresements. I'm talking about footballers endorsing products that are flat-out bizarre. Like all those Ljungberg crotch-shots Calvin Klein subjected us to. Or like this:

Seen today, on the road into Kampala, was a large billboard advertisement for Kensington Luxury Heights, which is a new upscale property development in town. No big deal, I've seen their ads before. But this one was different.

This one had Rio Ferdinand on it. With the words "Be my neighbour in Kensington Heights", attributed to "Rio Ferdinand, property owner, Kensington Heights".

I guess if you get tossed out of Ayia Napa, you have to go to East Africa. Or summat.

Ok, what's your bizarre football product endorsement?

[blameless]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

This explains it pretty well:

http://www.thespoiler.co.uk/index.php/2008/01/21/come-and-be-rio-ferdinands-neighbour-in-uganda

Moving away from unlikely endorsements to painfully predictable ones, Rio and his mini-me sidekick Ashley Cole are moving into the film business:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7743044.stm

This nonsense may even surpass that Kelsey Grammar "American Carol" effort for worst film ever, especially if Ferdinand and Cole accept cameo roles in it.

[Tactical Genius]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Danny Dyer in manchester, walking around and snuffling, "this is bandit country" and "50 Cents crew are tasty, a right naughty little crew"

It might be in the "This is so bad, its good" territory.

[Houdi Elbow]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

OTFers of a certain age will remember a 70s TV commercial starring QPR keeper Phil Parkes for Falcon hair spray.

[David Agnew]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Or Pat Jennings as a Unipart exhaust.

More recently, ex-Wimbledon stalwart Stewart Castledine starred in a 30 minute infomercial for a carpet cleaner.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

An OTF favourite.

[Ray de Galles]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

blameless wrote:

This explains it pretty well:

http://www.thespoiler.co.uk/index.php/2008/01/21/come-and-be-rio-ferdinands-neighbour-in-uganda

Moving away from unlikely endorsements to painfully predictable ones, Rio and his mini-me sidekick Ashley Cole are moving into the film business:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7743044.stm

This nonsense may even surpass that Kelsey Grammar "American Carol" effort for worst film ever, especially if Ferdinand and Cole accept cameo roles in it.

The Observer's take on this ;

Rio - the ongoing story of one man's struggle to understand his own PR.

• 2007: Signs up to front major new anti-gang culture initiative. Government source says: 'Kids on the street have no male role model. Rio Ferdinand is perfect for that'. Rio says: 'I want kids to see it's not just drug dealers who drive decent cars - they need to know that trying to be a gangster isn't cool.'

• 2008: Signs up as executive producer of major new Brit gangland movie Dead Man Running, set in London and Manchester's drugs scene. Features 'violent cold-blooded loan shark' played by 50 Cent (previous film credits: Get Rich or Die Tryin', Righteous Kill and Streets of Blood) 'hunting down an ex-con.'

[Spearmint Rhino]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

The balding Jason McAteer advertising shampoo always struck me as an odd one.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Was he balding around that time? Can't remember. I remember they gave him no lines to say in that advert.
Anyroad, anyone can advertise shampoo. Beyonce Knowles did shampoo adverts and she wears a wig!

[Anton Gramscescu]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Cheers for that, blameless. Useful (if bizarre) background.

[Guest]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Liked the final bit of the BBC report on Ferdinand/Cole film

"Cole, meanwhile, is married to Girls Aloud star and X-Factor judge Cheryl."

Which presumably is the sort of thing any gangsta film maker has on his CV.

[Nishlord]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

A perfect match.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Stumpy Pepys wrote:

Was he balding around that time? Can't remember. I remember they gave him no lines to say in that advert.
Anyroad, anyone can advertise shampoo. Beyonce Knowles did shampoo adverts and she wears a wig!

I distinctly remember that he was starting to go bald at the time. I also remember the astounding cheapness of the ad.

It was embarrassingly smalltime in the context of 'Spice Boys' Liverpool, with David James doing super-cool photo shoots for Armani, etc.

[The Purple Cow]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Here's Johan Cruijff.



The same Johan Cruijff who's career was cut short by his chain-smoking and which eventually lead to three heart-attacks.

[Cavalry Trouser Tips]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Indeed, he then went on to endorse Chupa Chups at Barcelona:

[evilC]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Is it left to me to state the obvious? The bluntie with the Sharpie.

[Ant van Oviedo]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

Houdi Elbow wrote:

OTFers of a certain age will remember a 70s TV commercial starring QPR keeper Phil Parkes for Falcon hair spray.

As I am "of a certain age" (I mean, these days, who isn't?) I feel it only fair to point out that it was Cossack hair spray that tamed Parkesy's mane.

[Cavalry Trouser Tips]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

[Ant van Oviedo]

Improbable Player Product Endorsements

*Applause*

I looked for that advert, but couldn't find it...

Mind you, I'm not sure how "improbable" Parkes' advertising hairspray was, given his hirsuteness. More improbable was that there were two players called Phil Parkes playing in top-flight football, and that both were goalkeepers. Two Gary Stevens? Beh.