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Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

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    Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

    Have you ever really put yourself out to help a friend in need? And not a really true friend (I'm sure we've all been in positions where we've done things for true mates), but a kind of mate of a mate, who it's obvious you are in a position to help out, but who you don't really know that well?

    A mate of a mate of mine has just been kicked out of his house by his missus, after yet another blazing row, and needs somewhere to kip for a few days, that may or may not turn into a few weeks. He's a nice enough bloke (at least as far as I'm concerned), but he is bit of a boozer, and I'm worried that if I allow him the benefit of stopping round at my house, it might turn into a relationship that will be awkward to terminate. I do, however, have an empty spare bedroom at my house at the moment (I wouldn't let him have the rooms I count as my daughters' bedrooms when they stay with me). I do feel a bit tight being prissy about extending him the "olive branch", so to speak, especially as at the moment he's sleeping on the couch of another (better) friend of mine who has no spare room, but I value my own space and like the fact that it's just me and the cats in here, and him in the house would mean lots of new upheavals to my quiet daily routine (especially if he started bringing mates round of his own). On the other hand, he's clearly desperate for somewhere to stay, and I feel bad for my other friend who's putting him up in her lounge when he could have my spare room.

    I really don't want to feel pressured into offering him anything, but on the other hand I feel like a right cunt, because my friend who he's currently staying with (and all my other friends) know that I jolly well do have the room to put him up.

    Am I better being sneered at for not opening my doors to him, or should I do the Christian thing? Have you ever been in my position?

    #2
    Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

    Not to be judgemental at all about your particular situation, but I did pretty much exactly that for a work colleague who showed up at my door about 20 years ago.

    Thankfully for all concerned, the kipping only lasted two or three days, but I was always glad that I had said yes. Of course, he didn't drink (much), but then I didn't have a spare room.

    I have always gone with my gut in such situations, and it seems to me that yours is telling you to go slow.

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      #3
      Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

      Not unless I'm wholly wrong about reincarnation.

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        #4
        Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

        Sorry, that's not very helpful, but really the situation is too individual for generalised advice to be useful.

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          #5
          Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

          The only time I've ever done anything similar was quite a long time ago, when my 'lifestyle' was somewhat different to what it currently is, and I would imagine also somewhat different to yours, Rogin. Anyway, a mate of a mate (who turned out to be more of a vague acquaintance of a mate) got turfed out of his digs because, he said, the landlady was being a cunt (it later turned out that it was for non-payment of rent) so being a gullible mug I said he could kip in my room for the night. In the morning I popped to the shop over the road to buy some breakfast stuff, while matey boy (whose name I can't remember) packed his gear ready to move on. He'd left by the time I got back, taking my giro with him.

          It wasn't the money so much, although that obviously pissed me off seeing as that left me skint for the next week, but the fact that I'd helped him out, showed him a level of trust, and he'd pissed all over my fireworks. Bloody hippies.

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            #6
            Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

            I think all this depends on how good the mate of the mate is. There's a high level of trust involved with letting someone stay in your place.

            Good samaritan means helping someone not bending over to be rogered.

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              #7
              Have you ever been the Good Samaritan?

              I'm all for good samaritarianism, but why is it your responsibility to help out what seems to be a casual acquaintance? I can't see why anyone should judge you if you don't.

              Having said that, if you trust the guy, take him in on the condition that he is out again by the time your daughters come to visit next time. That would give you a reason to chuck him out if you don't like him. If his company turns out to be excellent, you might extend your invitation.

              If you accommodate him, and he's staying longer than three or four days, make his stay conditional on his paying rent. Again, agree on a time by when he must be out. You might lie* that you need the room for a family member visiting from Australia; if your friends later notice that no such relative pitched up, tell them that Aunty Mabel was suddenly taken ill).

              * Lying is wrong, of course. Being suckered is even wronger.

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