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Mba'éichapa Yaha...Paraguay Primera Division 2018-2019

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    Mba'éichapa Yaha...Paraguay Primera Division 2018-2019

    So the first game I saw from beginning to end in Paraguay featured a golazo by a one-eyed amateur player named Mario Ricardo in the Copa Paraguayo, of which he was interviewed by every morning channel the next day.

    The top 3 after 5 rounds are Sportivo Luqueño from the outskirts of Asuncion in Luque (also home to the Conmebol Headquarters and South American Futbol Museo,) followed by Haedo Valdez's Cerro Porteño and Roque Santa Cruz's Olimpia.

    Olimpia is in the process of destroying Deportivo Capiatá 4-1 (Roque with 2 assists before they subbed his 40+ year old ass in the 70th,) which accounts for more goals than they had in their previous 4 matches. This will take them past Luque, who tied General Diaz 2-2, and depending on what Cerro does tomorrow night against 3rd de Febrero of Ciudad del Este, Olimpia will take the top spot for the round.

    Highlights Here in case you were wondering what Roque was up to.

    Cerro has to recover quick after their loss to Big Phil's Palmerias in the Libertadores last Thursday. Olimpia will be 3 points clear in 6:34 seconds (depending on added time,) and the Clausura's Superclassico will be next Sunday between Olimpia and Cerro at the Defensores Del Chaco National Stadium.

    Olimpia - 10 points from 5 played
    Cerro -- 8 points from 4 played
    Luque -- 8 points from 5 played
    Santani - 7 points from 5 played
    Last edited by jason voorhees; 13-08-2018, 00:03. Reason: Clausura, not Apertura

    #2
    Libertad seemingly are reinvigorated by the Bombanera rain after their loss to Boca Juniors, and defeat Guarani to escape dead last place with a 3-0 win at their adorable and really nifty named-for-former-Conmebol-head Dr. Nicolás Léoz stadium.

    They're sponsored by Pulp, which has the coolest name, coolest bottle, and coolest logo for any soda bottle in the universe. (Meaning, if it looks like it came out of the automat in Dark City, it wins.)



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      #3
      Cheers, sounds far more interesting than the EPL (which is not a high bar of course). Keep the reports coming.

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        #4
        Originally posted by Amor de Cosmos View Post
        Cheers, sounds far more interesting than the EPL (which is not a high bar of course). Keep the reports coming.
        Okay.

        Cerro wins to go to the top heading into Superclassico weekend.

        Getting my tickets at the mall tomorrow for dat.

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          #5
          It was cold and wet.

          It was a closed off street.

          We were walking in the middle of it.

          A drunk guy was pointing to us.

          I turned around, and a motorcycle with two Cerro fans was sliding at my wife and daughter's feet.

          Luckily, it slowed about a foot away from them and hit them with minimal impact.

          But there was an impact, and my daughter was quite freaked out.

          Our first Superclassico, and my wife and daughter got hit by a motorcycle.

          The passenger was really gimacing in pain, and he had a nasty scrape on his knee. But he didn't seem to have a broken leg.

          The cops yelled at the driver, and surrounded him. He was happy he didn't hurt my wife and daughter and shook our hands.

          As we were wearing Olimpia, another Cerro mother warned us if we didn't want to get hurt, don't walk down the next block where all the Cerro fans go in.

          The drunk guy who was trying to warn us kind of asked for money. I pulled out some to give to him, and he grabbed it all out of my hand.

          My wife was okay, and wanted to go on.

          The game was quite intense. The Portugal-England 2004 Quarterfinal is still the most intense game I've seen, but this was absolutely wild with the fans.

          Shitty non-penalty calls and some absolutely brilliant saves by Olimpia's keeper, who was named man of the match. Two kick saves and a punch over the bar with all shots coming inside the 6-yard box.

          A golazo by Olimpia, and a 95th minute counter attack after one of those point blank kick saves on Haedo Valdez.

          Olimpia goes to the top with 13 points from 6 played, Cerro with 11 from 6 played, and with Guarani's 2-1 win they are third with 9 points from 6 played.

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            #6
            Sounds like quite an experience, jv. You've not really arrived in the world of attending South American football matches until you've had something taken from you against your will, so welcome to the continent ...

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              #7
              It was nutz.

              Can't wait to post the 82nd minute bicycle kick by Sporting Luqueño's Paulo Lima to take the 1-0 lead.

              They win, they go to 2nd place with 11 points.

              edit - They won.
              Last edited by jason voorhees; 20-08-2018, 00:35. Reason: They won.

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                #8
                Oh yeah.

                Olimpia won.

                They're also going to win this one.

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                  #9
                  Olimpia 3:1 Cerro Doucheteno

                  Olimpia goes 7 points clear with a game in hand with 5 to play.

                  Great flying side volley for the 3rd

                  ​​​​​​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBDdwx5DNcM

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                    #10
                    Paging jason voorhees: while researching Club General Caballero I came across this on wiki:


                    "In the 2018 season, General Caballero won the Primera B Nacional by defeating Nacional de Primero de Marzo in the final, but had to play a promotion play-off against the Primera B Metropolitana runners-up Tacuary since the Primera B Nacional championship does not award its winner a direct promotion berth in even years."

                    What kind of weird system is this? Any logic therein?

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                      #11
                      Oh wow. Even by the standards of highly centralised South American leagues, that is quite magnificent.

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                        #12
                        Sporting - I'm guessing to do with the Clausura and Apertura and the multiple points system over a few seasons that prevents the big teams from getting relegated (River Plate Relegated Avoidance System.) The pandemic may have had something to do with it as well.

                        With the pandemic, Paraguay had a giant 2nd division, and because it was so big it triggered a clause in the Conmebol Statutes that a winner would be granted a place in the Copa Sudamericana.

                        Gen. Caballero JLM (there's a bunch of General Caballeros in the country, this one is from Juan León Mallorquín,) won the B and got a chance to get their asses mopped in the Sudamericana.

                        The best promotion/relegation story the past few years was the playoff between Sportivo Luqueño and Sportivo Ameliano. Luque has been one of the biggest teams outside of Asuncion (even if it's a suburb,) and had to beat a rinky-dink little neighborhood team to avoid relegation.

                        Ameliano won.

                        Luqeños cried. Especially it was their 100th anniversary.

                        The president of Luque was all over that it was a disgrace such a small team who played in a 3,000 seat stadium could take their place, and was yapping that they'd be relegated as quickly as they came up.

                        Ameliano just played in the final of the Copa Paraguay. They won.

                        (Olimpistas didn't have too many laughs that Ameliano won the tournament and Cerro Porteño hasn't yet.)

                        The second best story that would have been a decent story in WSC was the rise of Guareiña. They took their best players from their local league, got some money from the local farmers to start a team, and rose from the 3rd to the Primera in 3 years. They also did somewhat decent in the Sudamericana last year.

                        Man, I'm misty at missing those games. Asunción is great to see so many great games that are so close. Should anyone spend a month or two there just to see as many games as possible I'd recommend it.

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                          #13
                          Kind of incredible.

                          So the one of the biggest narcos in South America with an Andrew Cunahan ability to change identity and a El Chapo/Pablo Escobar ability to escape getting caught by police was a player for Deportivo Capiata in 2019. He also paid the team $10,000 US Dollars to wear the Number 10.

                          Sebastián Marset left prison in Uruguay, only to start an entertainment and football-playing career in Paraguay during my time there. He was accused of being the narco who murdered the Paraguayan prosecutor Marcelo Pecci in Cartagena in 2022.

                          He since has escaped the police in Dubai, bought a second divison team in Bolivia, and escaped getting arrested there as well and is on the loose again.

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                            #14
                            This link has him playing for Los Leones del Torno, the 2nd division team he bought.

                            They were relegated for registering him and allowing him to play with a fake name.

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