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Here come the Gulls - Conference South 2018-2019

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    Here come the Gulls - Conference South 2018-2019

    Of course, Torquay are the Johnny Big Bollocks in this division and have shown that they are "too big for this division" already by having Plainmoor host everyone twice this season with Truro also playing there. This means a 200 mile round trip for their supporters but a 160 mile shorter round trip for everyone else. We are playing Torquay nice and early a week Tuesday and there is a supporters coach (there be monsters and an alcohol ban) going from 11am so that people can go to the beach. There is something appealing about it in a "Heart Of Darkness" manner and I may recount my trip on here after.

    Aside from that, we have a reasonably good squad of contracted players that should get us to the play-off positions or thereabouts. We play two teams defeated in play-offs - Dartford and Hamton & Richmond - and another relegated - Torquay - so a potentially difficult start. We also have the very real prospect of only one home game in October.

    As far as the rest of the division is concerned, Torquay and Woking have got to look favourites - unless there has been some financial crashes at either of those that I am not aware of. Although Truro just missed out in the play-offs, I can't see them doing well with this ground share going on. Of interest, of course, is Dulwich Hamlet coming up but I don't think they travel well. Our away game against them is on the 5th January so I may try and make a visit. Chippenham have their usual raft of players that they have got off us over the summer but only one, Jack Compton is a real loss. However, I expect all of them to score against us - probably at Twerton Park if last season's reverse hammerings are anything to go by.Very pleased to see them in the same division as us as we missed out on Hereford United. Billericay are, of course, the massive spenders in the league so they will be near the top.

    Here are the bookies predictions. The pessimist in me puts us sneaking in a 7 and Torquay higher but I may have missed something with them. I think that this is before Truro's ground share announcement as, as I say, I think that will hit them hard.

    Billericay

    Dartford

    Woking

    Chelmsford

    Torquay

    Bath City

    Hampton and Richmond

    Concord Rangers

    Hemel Hempstead Town

    Welling

    St Albans

    Wealdstone

    Slough

    Dulwich

    Oxford City

    Truro City

    Chippenham Town

    Weston Super Mare

    Eastbourne Borough

    East Thurrock United

    Gloucester City

    Hungerford Town

    #2
    Any prospect of Dulwich playing any actual home games this season? Haven't heard anything on their situation for a while.

    Comment


      #3
      The groundshare is formally for the whole season and the developers are letting Champion Hill fall in to disrepair in the stand off so can see them at Tooting for a while yet.

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        #4
        Might go to Welling v Dulwich on saturday. Nice little ground, Welling.

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          #5
          Mrs Thistle's cousin is a Torquay fan (massive back tattoo and everything) and is pessimistic about their chances. He also thinks they'll go bust of they don't get promoted this year.

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            #6
            Got this prediction from one of the lads at the club who knows the league much better than I (and, I expect the bookies)

            1. Billericay Town
            2. Hemel Hempstead Town
            3. Woking
            4. Welling United
            5. Bath City
            6. Wealdstone
            7. Chelmsford City
            8. Torquay United
            9. Dartford
            10. Chippenham Town
            11. St Albans City
            12. Concord Rangers
            13. Dulwich Hamlet
            14. Hampton & Richmond Borough
            15. Weston-super-Mare
            16. Oxford City
            17. Eastbourne Borough
            18. Slough Town
            19. East Thurrock United
            20. Gloucester City
            21. Truro City
            22. Hungerford Town

            Noticeably, Torquay still down lower than I expected so your cousin-in-law could be correct. We are playing Dartford tomorrow who have lost a couple of players to H & W as they went up and have replaced them with Conference stalwarts. Sounds like their Andy Pugh suffered a dreadful double leg fracture in a friendly against Chelmsford in a friendly as well. We should win but they aren't to be underestimated.

            In more important news, I dodged a bullet in having to be the pig mascot as I passed it onto my mate as I have important pre-match commitments in the bar.

            Comment


              #7
              Said expert has come up with this which is the best and most pertinent stat I have ever read.

              We last beat Dartford just before Steven Hendry became World Snooker Champion for the first time, the Poll Tax had just been introduced and Snap! was at number one with The Power. Also before nine of our squad had been born.

              Comment


                #8
                Good start for the Stones. I should've gone there instead...

                Comment


                  #9
                  As there doesn't appear to be a midweek football thread for yesterday, I shall put my "Heart of Darkness" style coach trip report to the English Riviera on here.

                  I ended up going solo as I failed to muster up interest in the coach trip down there from my usual fellow travellers that make up the Mo-B-Q crew. The train back from Torquay left at 8.20 so 10 minutes before the end of the first half which was no good. Therefore the supporters' coach was the only way to go. Now, this has had a bit of a reputation amongst other Bath City supporters of our acquaintance. Firstly, the coach is dry which is a pain although, in reality, not that much different from our train trips - certainly outward. Secondly, it has a reputation for being the preserve of a certain type of "special" supporter of the super-annuated and particularly grumbling type. This leads to many driving to the matches rather than going on the coach. However, driving meant no drinking so that was obviously a no-goer (apparently, it was a knackering drive as well). We had had a test drive on the supporters' coach on a recent away trip to Weymouth as the return train that we were supposed to be taking was cancelled and the next train was at 8.30 and, seeing as none of us wanted to be in Weymouth for that long, we asked the supporters' coach if we could hop on there for the return trip which they kindly allowed. It was absolutely fine although eyes were raised when we sat on the back seat of the coach - doesn't everyone automatically do that? - and there was some muttering of "loud drunk youngsters singing songs" (we averaged 55 years old). However, even with this fairly benign experience, I couldn't persuade anyone - not least as there had been a vote and, instead of leaving at 5ish for a 7.45 kick off, it was decided to leave at 11am so that people could "go to the beach". I wasn't even keen myself but, realising that getting to Torquay for an away game was always going to be a bit of a schlep, woke up in the morning, checked there were spaces and decided to go alone.

                  I turned up to find that my fellow travellers weren't exclusively pensioners and there were a few familiar faces there - one of the young Popular Side singers and his girlfriend (obviously sold a romantic trip); Roy, drummer of local punk heroes Hacksaw, Eurovision obsessive and long-time pal and gigging partner; Brian May (not that one), real ale fanatic and one of the locals at my pre-/post-match and gigging local; Yorkie, an amiable enough bloke who appears to have Parkinson's which means we have lovely chats about the team but I never really understand a word of what he is saying. The bus was normal enough and, with a double seat to oneself, plenty of space to have a nap and avoid any nutters (of which there were precious few). We were dropped off at 2pm in the town centre and everyone disappeared off in different directions. I didn't take it too personally as I actually wanted to meander around by myself and explore.

                  Firstly, I got myself to a local bar overlooking the harbour and - in a nod to BB&F - a pint of the local brew called Topsail brewed by Bays Brewery and akin to Doom Bar. Unlike BB&F, I didn't got any cheese to accompany it but local crab sandwiches. Well, obviously, the sandwiches were local but so, also, was the crab from Salcombe. I was somewhat transfixed by a couple in fornt of me having a conversation completely in sign language. I then set of to explore the harbour and the bay. The harbour is obviously where they are trying to push the "English Riviera" angle but it was nice to see what seemed like regularly used crab and lobster pots piled up. Unfortunately, there was the usual amount of jet skis and also motorboat rentals for the ever-increasing amount of boy racer wankers of the marine variety. Round to the bay and I was able to paddle in the sea for a while and then read a book while I waited for my legs to dry and worried mothers rushed their children away from my vicinity.

                  I then saw a sign for Torre Abbey which was 7 minutes walk away which seemed the only local sight of interest that was within walking distance so I popped up there. It has to be said that it is a pretty crap abbey with a relatively recent mansion house, wall and gardens hiding the ruins which you had to pay to see (and I wasn't prepared to). However, on the way was a 200 year old mulberry tree which has been bought by the 18th century's version of that Earl of Westminster bloke for his bride in order to attract silk worms - to the mulberries not his bride. Anyway, the dozy twat bought the type of mulberry tree that silk worms detest but does produce the most wonderful, juicy mulberries that somewhat stain your hands after you have eaten a few. I asked at the cafe if they did any mulberry jam so that I could possibly take Mrs Bored a jar of but, in a typically British move of missing a trick, they didn't. They did do a nice latte and chocolatey fruit and nut slice though and I got Mrs B a Torquay tea towel with embroidered beach huts on later. Realising that time was getting on for the coach pick and having been recommended a pub by Brian May (not that one), I thought I had better get a move on.

                  On the way back, I happened to notice a terrace hidden between the pavement that was opposite the seaside one and the cliff. As I went up it, there were not only a great array of lovely plants but little signs having random things on like poems, quotes and Froude's Wave-Line Theory which is all about ships' speed/length ratio (he lived in Torquay). There was also a small rock grotto that had tiny towers in. From this terrace led some stairs up the cliff where I passed more quotation signs and a group of emo/goths/whatever they are nowadays before getting right to the top where I had a magnificent view of Torbay. Some more stairs then led me down to the pick up point where, after a visit to a wrong pub (which I should have known as it played AC/DC and served Doom Bar at £2 - actually, that may prove it was the right pub), I ended up at the recommended Hole In The Wall which is the oldest pub in Torquay at nearly 500 years old. I had a quick pint of Otter and noted that the crab sandwiches there were £3 cheaper than the ones I had had earlier - albeit with a view of a wall rather than a harbour then headed back to the meeting place to be coached to the ground.

                  After a hairy drive through the narrow streets parked in by twats around Plainmoor, we arrived at ground with an hour to kill so myself and Brian May (not that one) went to find yet another one of his CAMRA guide recommended pubs about 10 minutes walk away rather than try the "Boots and Laces" bar at the ground. We had already found out that there was going to be segregation at the game and Torquay fans had been feisty twats at a previous game at Twerton. Having said that, one supporter literally welcomed us on our way to the pub before directing us there so swings/roundabouts. We managed to neck a couple of pints of Sussex Gold on an odd friendly little pub called the Crown & Sceptre which was in a lovely area called Stmarychurch. It had the feel of one of those places where you could spend all night and miss the football.

                  Of course, we should have. We got to the ground and found out that, not only was it segregated but we were only in the massive seated stand not the terrace. Now the younger singers in our midst were appalled like this but, as I sat at the back next to Roy Hacksaw, we noted that not only did we have nice comfy seats but we had an amazing view of the sun setting over Dartmoor in one direction and the sea in the other. We sat there chattering away like some sort of punk rock football watching cheerful Statdler and Waldorf. The game was fairly evenly matched. I would say that Mrs Thistle's cousin is probably right in his pessimism as Torquay look like a top 10 hoping-to-sneak-into-the-play-offs team as do we. There was a bit of spark as our manager that left us in the lurch - Gary Owers - is now the pretty useless Torquay manager but, for some reason, this led to a Torquay twat spitting on our manager and getting ejected. Of course, we managed to go toe-to-toe fairly evenly with them for most of the match only to lose to the sort of scrappy goal where we didn't clear our lines well enough that we gave away on Saturday. So two defeats to us with another difficult away game on Saturday. However, I think we probably will feel more optimistic than Torquay as the sort of lucking-into-the-play-offs finishing position that would be an season-end good result for us will be a disaster for them and we are both looking at ending up there.

                  Back on the coach, which, after the sun going down and me wearing inappropriately light clothes, was lovely and warm and, despite a touch of grumbling from my fellow travellers, a pleasant journey home getting back at 1am. I would love to, BB&F style, post some pictures but Flickr has been pissing me off of late.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I enjoyed that, Bored. Cheers.

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                      #11
                      Non-league headline of the season.

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                        #12
                        Wasn't there but, after being knocked out of the FA cup by Weston Super Mud who are bottom of the league with no wins, we beat Woking away and leapfrogged them up to 3rd and 3 points of the leaders. Woking haven't won in 5 games but, still, football, eh?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Congrats to Torquay on bouncing back at the first attempt. No idea if the off-field issues are sorted down there, mind.

                          I see the Concord Rangers have been refused their playoff spot cos they haven’t got enough covered seats sorted by the cut-off date. Harsh, but rules is rules I guess. At least Tamplin’s Billericay, who finished 8th after losing yesterday, didn’t get to nab the the last spot cos NL rules wont allow it. Wonder if Tamps will be looking at updating a section of his muriel to reflect the injustice...

                          Good luck to Bath & Bored in the playoffs, though I guess Woking or Welling are hot favourites to come through.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I thought it was a long wait for a title for Leyton Orient (first for 49 years) and Stockport County (52 years), but I've just read this is the first time Torquay have finished top of a division since the 1926/27 Southern Division (Western Section).

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Concord not having enough covered seats is either very bad planning on their part, or a dose of common sense. Concord only attract crowds of 2-300 and will never be able to sustain the conference level required. Sometimes people just have to be content with what they've got.

                              Congratulations to Wealdstone on getting into the play-offs. Some good news for GO after the Millers getting relegated, but I really hope Chelmsford get promoted.

                              Comment


                                #16
                                I wonder what the odds on the Stones getting into the play-offs were on Saturay morning...

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Belated thanks, slackster. I had a job interview today which I have been frantically preparing for which at least kept the nerves about tonight at bay...until now. A couple of weeks ago, I would have dreaded this position as a 6 game winless draw - including a 3-0 home loss to St Albans City - saw us drop from third to almost out of the play-off zone. However, an unconvincing but much-needed win at home to Oxford City followed by an exception result away to Billericay means that we have a bit of momentum and confidence again. Wealdstone themselves had a great confidence-boosting run-in - probably a tad better than ours - and it will be a tight game. Both of the games have been draws and the last game at Twerton I saw was very evenly-matched with both teams playing attractive open football. It will be a full house and a great atmosphere - with the travelling supporters being some of the more voluble in the league - but Wealdstone won't be in awe of that as they have been getting pretty good crowds at their place and there is always a good atmosphere there.

                                  Have mixed feelings about Torquay going back up. When I went to the away match, there seemed to be a bit of a 'What the fuck are we doing down here?' mood as they perfunctorily beat us 1-0 in a third full Plainmoor as described in my report. Then when they came to our place, they celebrated like they had won the FA cup everytime they scored against ThelikesofBathCity with flares thrown on the pitch and goading of the home supporters. In truth, it all added to the atmosphere but it did almost cause a load of shit with the FA. It all added up to a massive 3500 crowd for us as well - more than the fixture at Plainmoor - which we would have quite liked again next season. You have to feel for Concord Rangers as they have had a great run-in only to be denied a play-off place due to regulation. Of course, they have had plenty of notice and should have been prepared but it is a shame for the players and supporters. Although Tamplin is obviously a wrong 'un, got to feel something for the Billericay supporters - who haven't wanted him and ae had to put up with him - as they looked like they were doing the impossible in staying in the play-offs.


                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    My mind won't be on my dancing tonight...

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                                      #19
                                      One away win down, two to go...

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        Yes, well done to Wealdstone. Aside from the result, it has to be said it was a fucking great match. Over 2000 there with the Stones being 350 of their usual noisy supporters matching the atmosphere from the home supporters. As I suspected, it was an open game with both teams going for it. City, in particular, had more shots on goal than the whole of the previous match. Many of our players had the sort of games that looked like they were angling for either being on the retained list or looking for good moves soon. Wealdstone got the opener after only 11 minutes with a well struck shot that could possibly have been closed down better by Tom Smith who, otherwise, had a great game if, perhaps, not quite the MOTM that he was awarded. With us having come back from early goals to win a fair bit this - including against Torquay notably - we weren't too worried especially as we were looking more effective going forward than we had for ages. This feeling was strengthened when, after the break, we brought on Sean Rigg who was excellent in midfield. However, it all started going tits up when first Wealdstone got their second and then Ryan Brunt rightly got sent off for sliding feet first into the keeper's face. Having said that, the ref, who was useless for both teams, should have sent off Weadlstone's Freddie Grant just before halftime. I found out that, appallingly, someone threw coins at the keeper and St John's Ambulance men. It appears that they were caught on film so they should be banned. At that point, especially after more than 5 minutes for the keeper to be treated and substituted, it looked like the game had got away from us. However, we really went for it and managed to get a goal from a deflected shot that looped over their keeper. The momentum was all with us then as we went for an equaliser and my nerves - on a day when I had already had a successful but very anxious job interview - took a battering. However, Wealdstone - who, to their credit, didn't shut up shop - got a third from a couple of defensive errors which ex-Bath City player Dave Pratt with his monkish hair weave capitalised on and that was that.

                                        As I say, it was a great game and a real advert for non-league football. I would wish Wealdstone great success in the rest of the play-offs but, selfishly, I want them to stay down. They have been a good team, I love their ground and don't get there enough and their supporters are a real boon to the league. I mentioned this to a director mate of mine and he mentioned that we never get much out of them but, to be honest, I would rather more matches like Wednesday night regardless of the result. As for us, we have done brilliantly this season. Reaching this play-offs was our putative target at the start of the season and, even then, it seemed a bit of a stretch with our small squad and playing budget. Jerry Gill, therefore, did excellently to keep us around the play-offs most of the season. When we had our bad run at the arse end of the season, that target seemed to be fading away which made it all the more pleasing to have a mini-run and get into the position of playing on Wednesday. We have had some excellent players signed, the most promising of which - defenders Cundy and Raynes (whose dad played drums in the band I put together for my 40th birthday party, fact fans) - have signed up for next season. Indeed, our whole defence has been excellent this season. We really need to sort out the team going forward especially up front. Our top scorer, Ross Stearn ( the Craig Bellamy of South West non-league football) only got 12 and wasn't a regular starter. Ryan Brunt, like the now-retired Sean Rigg, came to us with a fairly impressive league career behind him but, unlike Rigg, didn't live up to this even with a fairly good scoring record at the start of the season. We need to replace a fair few players who are coming to the end of their career or who have never quite turned up this season or who have come to the end of their long-term loans. I am sure Jerry Gill knows this as he is an excellent and very intelligent manager.

                                        Next season should be as good as this with Jerry really improving in his first proper managerial job. If he can build a midfield and strike force as good as our defence, everyone will be happy and optimistic. Indeed, even now, everyone is in good spirits for next season. It will be our last season before we move for a couple of seasons while we relocate for our ground redevelopment. The logical approach would be for us to groundshare at the Rec but the rugby club will not allow it, even though the Rec is effectively public land. We don't have the legal muscle or time, really, to contest the decision so we will probably have to go out of town which will be a real shame and dampener on the great momentum we have achieved since the community takeover. Due to a lot of off-field work and increased professionalism, our crowds are over 1000 average this season - a year or two before we expected to be able to do this - and, of course, this has been helped by the success on the pitch as well as the style of play. However, we won't be able to keep these up if playing out of town. Once back in the ground, the redevelopment should help with attracting back lost supporters we have gained recently but it is a shame to have to start again. So next season is one to savour.

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          Bugger. No Notts County next season.

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            People talk about teams "belonging" in the top flight, or even in the league, but not so much about the Conference. I always feel Woking "belong" in the Conference, maybe just because they were there during Exeter's time. Along with Torquay.

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              And they're back.

                                              I had a woke king gag lined up, but ditched it. Be grateful.

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