Schools Out Stella Artois Psychosis

[steveeeeeeeee]

18 years ago I drank 5 or more pints of Stella Artois after work on an empty stomach. The following day I felt crap and this got gradually worse as people who were with me said "do you remember doing this embarrassing thing?", "do you remember saying this embarrassing thing?". This was compounded by people who weren't even with me sending me text messages saying "do you remember calling me off your head last night?". I vowed to never drink Stella again and never did. Until yesterday.

It was the end of school year drinks and lunch. The drinks choice was wine or Stella, I chose Stella. Food was to be served after the leavers' speeches, which went on for an eternity and the only thing getting me through it was bottle after bottle of Stella on an empty stomach. By the time the speeches were over I desperately needed the bathroom and something to eat. I chose bathroom first, then went to the massive line for food, only to find the food had run out by the time I got to the front of the line.

I had to get out of there and find some food, I went to a shopping centre that has a McDonalds, but the place was full of manic teenagers expressing their joy of another academic year ended by shouting, swearing, fighting and running around the shopping centre chased by security guards. Then a few of the kids I teach recognised me and swarmed around me, I feared what might happen, but they just wanted to shake my hand, which was nice. I got out of there.

Then the Stella psychosis really kicked in on the tube. A voice at the back of my head making negative comments related to everyone I laid eyes on, "Look at that twat", "She'a bit of alright", "What a wanker", "Cunt". You suppress it all, but it's there, constantly, and it's just the most horrible manifestation of a part of your personality you rationally store in a box way, way at the back of your psyche. But it's just so horrible to be reminded that it's there, just waiting for a few pints of Stella on an empty stomach to rear its ugly head.

I eventually found a place to get a burger (5 Guys, first time I've had one, couldn't finish it). This more or less took the demons away until I saw a couple of guys on a skateboard trying to do flip tricks ("Fucking twats, just try to pop a decent fucking ollie and land it clean you cunts"). Got home and my daughter gave me the biggest smile ever, which was great. Told sra. stev9e I was wasted, took my daughter out for a walk around the park, came home, collapsed in bed fully clothed by 8pm.

Don't feel too bad this morning.

[Nefertiti2]

you don't remember your posts yesterday?

[steveeeeeeeee]

Nice try!

[elguapo4]

Stella was never that popular here in Ireland and you generally can't get it on draught any more,I only had it once when someone at a work night out bought me a pint,by god it's the foulest muck I've ever tasted,fair play to you getting it down your throat in the first place

[hobbes]

Stella is delicious.
As is all fizzy continental lager above 4.5%.

[G-Man]

Hmmm, given the effects of Stella on steveeeeee, I think we now have an explanation for Hobbesian Wrongness.

[steveeeeeeeee]

I used to avoid Super Bock in Portugal, due to the well-used pick axe it left in your brain the day after. But super Bock would never turn me into a total wanker. Stella's ability to do this is unique, as far as I know. As far as I'm aware, I'm a jovial drunk (although getting drunk is a rare privilege these days), don't get the angry wanker demons appearing with any other tipple.

[hobbes]

It's only Sam Smith's Man in a box that makes me angry at night and hurty the next day even with a small amount.

[treibeis]

I spent a fortnight in Belgium last year. Stella Artois was the only beer I drank there that didn't make me have to strap myself to the lavatory the following day. I didn't want to beat anybody up, either.

[HORN]

I had a friend, ex-shipworker. He was a tough cookie, and a 10 pints a night drinker.

He noticed that the nights he ended up fighting tended to be Stella drinking nights.

[Incandenza]

Surprised to hear that Five Guys has made its way out of America. Is it just as overpriced there as it is here? And peanut shells all over the floor?

[Wouter D]

Surprised to hear that Five Guys has made its way out of America. Is it just as overpriced there as it is here? And peanut shells all over the floor?

It made its way to Eindhoven. I am infuriated that this is allowed. The menace that is peanut oil must be stopped immediately.

Last year in South Korea, I spent a very unenjoyable evening in my Busan hotel bathroom, having had my peanut allergies triggered of some burger and fries. Now, we know that this is a risk in Asia, but in Europe, those food items used to be safe, dammit!

[Incandenza]

You won't want to get within 50 yards of a Five Guys. They hand peanuts out for free while you wait. Leaving the peanut shells on the floor is the thing to do.

[steveeeeeeeee]

It was a decent burger, just too much of it. It cost £8, which is fairly reasonable.

I found the anonymous reviews posted around Five Guys pretty annoying. "Best burger I ever did eat." Dave, Kentucky. "Hmmm, them fries." Mary, Florida.

[Fussbudget]

I <3 Five Guys. Overpriced but delicious.

[Satchmo Distel]

I enjoy Stella with a restaurant meal. Don't do pubs or bars as I've lived in Florida since 2006 and they are intolerable (exception is if we visit New York, where they can be great).

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

5% lagers like Stella seemed to become the new normal for a few years, but that seems to have passed and in our circle someone ordering a 5% lager in a round too early draws a bit of comment.

On the other hand these days stronger stuff is often available, there's a pub in town that does Punk IPA on draft and a couple of pints of that at the wrong time in a session has a similar effect to hitting an oil patch on Mario Kart.

I saw Michael Legge do a good routine about Stella, calling out the distasteful 'wife beater' nickname.

[Greenlander]

I'm with Stev9e all the way here.

When I started drinking the only lagers available were either Tennants or Carling in most Plymouth pubs, venturing into the countryside and the choice widened out. Stella always left me with the feeling a helicopter was landing in my brain so I avoided.

However in some pubs it was the only option, one of those being in Slapton, a tiny village in South Devon where everyone knew everyone else and my mate, Paddy, found himself teaching in the outdoor pursuit centre. So sat round a large table on my third pint and getting on very well with the cute girl sat next to me, the rumblings came. Only this time from my stomach. I was wedged in the corner, my only means of escape asking thoes beside me to stand up but the words wouldn't come. Instead a torrent of orange puke sprayed the table and my route to the bathroom opened. It was too late any cool points I'd gained were lost and though the throng welcomed me back to the table my chance had long gone. I can't remember much more about that evening. What I do know is that those of us that had come up for the evening were thrown out of the centre at dawn and told never to come back and a couple of weeks later Paddy was told to leave too.

So Stella, for purely experimental purposes you understand, I've tried it since in the controlled evironment of home and had the same reaction therefore it's now filed alongside that popular protein source Quorn as things that will always make me chunder.

[Benjm]

I've always found Stella to have a funny chemical taste, which may account for the long running cod-Reinheitsgebot angle in their advertising. Peroni seems to have gazumped it in the pricey=good department in recent times. If necessary, I'd take a dry cider in preference to Stella (but not theirs).

I'm not sure about the tutting if anyone orders a 5% beer though. As far as I can tell from drinking beer in a variety of locations, that's broadly the strength that light/lager beer is supposed to be. Having fewer drinks seems a better option than wading through gallons of watery piss like Carling or Fosters.

[Guy Profumo]

Stella.

Ugh.

That awful resiny taste it's got.

Yeuch.

Edit: fucking autocomplete

[hobbes]

You lot are weird. Stella tastes almost exactly the same as all other 5% lager.
Any chemical taste or added aggression is far more likely down to confirmation bias and/or the psychology of self fulfilling prophecy..

[EIM]

I once drank so much Stella I burped out foam.

They've changed the recipe and made it less strong than it was. They claim it's to try and get away from the awful "wife-beater" label, but it's also likely to be duty related. The attempted rebrand is also why they started making the perfect serve in a chalice with the theatre of the "9 step pouring ritual". Try potting someone in the face with all that continental gimmickry going on. C'est impossible.

[Toby Gymshorts]

I can't stand Stella, but will happily drink Beck's*.

Make of that what you will.

*Not that Vier stuff, that's actively horrible.

[treibeis]

Stella is delicious.
As is all fizzy continental lager above 4.5%.

Apart from Warsteiner, any beer from The Netherlands and any beer brewed in Germany north of Hanover - all of which are undeniably awful -, this is absolutely right.

[adams house cat]

Had a Stella a few weeks ago at my favorite watering hole where I usually drink NBA. They were out of that so I had a couple of Stellas. No adverse effects and quite enjoyed the change.