A year or so back I began writing poetry. I haven’t done any expressive writing since my mid-teens, but though I enjoy my time with a camera, there’s a bunch of stuff that doesn’t lend itself to photography, plus I have the time now to learn a new skill. So I plunged ahead in a “guess or by golly” kind of way. I genuinely didn’t/don’t know what I’m doing. Mostly I’m trying to wrestle words into different forms, which is a more mathematical process than I imagined. Anyhow, there are people here that have way more ability, and experience, with language than I. So, partly I’m starting this thread to get feedback, but also for anyone else to share any short-form writing they might have done.
I’m not going to throw a whole lot of things up at once, I know I wouldn’t read it if someone else did that. So it’ll be a few verses every now and then, probably in, more or less chronological order. So here goes:
That’s my first go at Tanka form (five lines that don’t rhyme. First and fifth have five syllables, the others seven. The third line is pivotal, lines 1–3 give one image, 3–5 another. It’s simple and good for natural, descriptive material.
I’m drawn to triolets. They’re short, eight lines, but have a complex rhyme scheme and I like the repetition with minimal change. They seem to lend themselves to dreamscapes, which is what this is.
I’m not going to throw a whole lot of things up at once, I know I wouldn’t read it if someone else did that. So it’ll be a few verses every now and then, probably in, more or less chronological order. So here goes:
Poem 1
Raptors
Grey wings on grey sky
eager Harrier hovers.
A rabbit freezes,
tawny eyes glint fearfully,
an icy landscape awaits.
Eagles peer through mist
within their nest a promise.
Dogs play in the snow.
alive to its joyful cold,
soon there will be warmth for all.
Raptors
Grey wings on grey sky
eager Harrier hovers.
A rabbit freezes,
tawny eyes glint fearfully,
an icy landscape awaits.
Eagles peer through mist
within their nest a promise.
Dogs play in the snow.
alive to its joyful cold,
soon there will be warmth for all.
That’s my first go at Tanka form (five lines that don’t rhyme. First and fifth have five syllables, the others seven. The third line is pivotal, lines 1–3 give one image, 3–5 another. It’s simple and good for natural, descriptive material.
Poem 2
The owl’s head spins wildly clockwise.
He squints, rotates it widdershins.
An inn sign creaks, a tired wind sighs,
the owl’s head spins wildly clockwise.
‘Neath crippled trees and sodden skies
dank, gloomy, the inn awaits as
the owl’s head spins madly clockwise.
He winks, rotates it widdershins.
The owl’s head spins wildly clockwise.
He squints, rotates it widdershins.
An inn sign creaks, a tired wind sighs,
the owl’s head spins wildly clockwise.
‘Neath crippled trees and sodden skies
dank, gloomy, the inn awaits as
the owl’s head spins madly clockwise.
He winks, rotates it widdershins.
I’m drawn to triolets. They’re short, eight lines, but have a complex rhyme scheme and I like the repetition with minimal change. They seem to lend themselves to dreamscapes, which is what this is.
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