OFFS! Is That the time Already? EUROVISION.

[Gerontophile]

First semi, tomorrow. And, apparently there will be some songs, too.

Being the tasteful person I am, I won't be watching. Tradition! See you on Saturday.

Is there an absolute winner?

[Gerontophile]

I've got a theory.

(It's quite niche.)

Maggie MacNeal, at some point, must have auditioned for Teach-In (cos there are only about 14 visible females, ever, from Netherlands), and got so pissed off, that she REALLY went for it... and this is how I know, that there is a mouse, there on the stairs.

Because I thought that was the A-side of my favourite record of all time: Amsterdam. I just sort of woke up about 14, discovered that there is a big world out there, and why is my straight older brother leaving these records around for me to find? And also, he inadvertentl, got me into Rocky Horror.

And... was ketamine invented by then?

God love her.

[Gerontophile]

And to this day... every bar tender in Amsterdam knows I am there. 2nd record I put on. (Only country with "Spacer" on the jukebox. Regularly.)

[Gerontophile]

(Mumble, grumble... "shoulda won"...)

[Gerontophile]

Oh, and there's this:

signed:a gerontophile.

[Gerontophile]

("fucking third... bastards. I was on here wasting time, when I should have been on the phone, watching them spend my ... wait a moment: I don't care.")

Just have it.

[Gerontophile]

Oh, and just so you know: Why are we not all millionaires, betting on this one?

[Gerontophile]

Listening to the above, now.

It is a too-trebly, unexpected, genius. Oh, and in 1998, all Israeli soldiers are transexual.

"The first cut, won't hurt at all..."

[Gerontophile]

(In the voice of Charles Gray

And what of the floor show?

See, I did have my money on this. Hello, from Paradise. If only someone had given this to Shirley Bassey in 1966. Could have stopped Eurovision in its tracks.

(Incidentally, the words are fucking vicious.)

[Gerontophile]

If all the genes that Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha, and my favourite... ahem, all spliced their genes, this would be the result. It is Eurovision by "we need a little more BPM", "hang on, the singer has to look like the sax player in the Muppets", "oh wait... fuck, yeah... we DO have a tune."

Enjoy:

(Oh, and FF to at least a minute, unless you like your Terry Wogan... about to run out of ...yeah... he remembered where they are.

Here's ... oh, and I honestly didn't know what he said.

[Gerontophile]

Also, she has done her camera homework: She does not miss one.

And of course, gays need more BPM, right at the end.

Utterly stunning.

[Gerontophile]

Anyway, I'm Indoors is up and about, and he knows what I am typing. He is shaking me off about the next song... 3 times.

Now, he joined this miasma of unexplainable joy, yes... that's how we met: admittedly, Internet first, but the joy of really superb music, and the theatrics, thereof.

And fucking shook me off, 3 times.

OK, here is his...

[Gerontophile]

Psych!

[Gerontophile]

This is it:

[Gerontophile]

(And I quote)

"She looks like she is fucking happy to be there... and, she is fucking magnificent."

And, he admits, that someone named France, sang for Luxemburg... How little did he know...

[Gerontophile]

Oh, and this one: Yeah... cos, he sussed me instantly. x

[Gerontophile]

Incidentally, the random guy on the left, as you look... isn't a brother.

Also, I don't fucking care.

[Gerontophile]

Nah, he's been Wikipediaing this shit. He does not know this much.

I am going to think of a sharp retort, whilst I am tossing one's salad. (TURN YOUR SOUND, DOWN)

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Saara Wossname from the XFactor final a couple years ago is representing Finland. I voted for her in that. Not heard the song yet though.

[Gerontophile]

(Fucking Joyce Grenfell lookalike who can sing, bitch.)

Try not to listen to the words, cos that is David Vine.*It might not be, but my fingers cannot spell the incoherence of whomsoever it is."

[Gerontophile]

Without being a dick, they were fighting this shit out before they were married.

xx

PS: Benny has an overbite for the ages.

[Gerontophile]

Shit, yeah, I am to get off the fucking laptop, as I want to a) do stuff, and CenturyLink are wonderful, or b) none of the above?

Also,

Yeah... this is a wee unimportant thing... Think "Priscilla, Quee..." etc with busted-string violins... and, unexpectedly, Norway (although... dunno, looks a bit too HOT!, howe...

[Gerontophile]

Sorry. At 1:10, Mr Rybak lets us know, that we have been invaded by aliens. AND, how to think of a sharp retort.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

The bookies have Israel and Cyprus as joint favourites overall. Both are in tonight's semi final. Signora Rogin and I said we'd go to the winning country for our spring trip next year, not to go Eurovision but to just say we'd watched it in the place it was being held. On that basis I want Israel. Never been there - I've been to Cyprus three times.

[Gerontophile]

By about 2:50..

It doesn't end well.