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    We need to talk about Kevin

    Kevin Pietersen has retired, typically enough announcing it on Twitter.

    He was infuriating. He was amazing. He was surely what Strauss called him too.

    But currently (I think) England’s second [edit] highest run scorer across all combined formats, and surely a case for being in the top 10 England batsmen of all time.
    Last edited by diggedy derek; 17-03-2018, 22:11.

    #2
    Possibly the Mark E Smith of cricket; a one off, a genius and a prick.

    Saw him score 158* at Leeds in the coldest test at the time and he was utterly brilliant; controlled power and brilliance at its best. Other times got out cheaply as he tried stuff against bowlers who'd throttled him (on the pitch and no doubt cheerfully of it too). To compare him with another sportsman maybe Ronnie O'Sullivan.

    Awful captain, questionable application, undoubted talent. Thanks for the great memories KP.

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      #3
      There was no chance that he'd ever have been as good as he thought he was.

      An occasionally brilliant batsman who fucked up too often and was so self-absorbed that he generally batted for himself rather than the team. Which made him great to watch but desperately frustrating.

      He was very good, but could have been so much better.

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        #4
        He was very good but not as good as Root or Cook IMHO, and not Top 10. Too volatile and immature.

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          #5
          His test batting average is 47 I think. Which is higher than Cook, and anybody else he played with for England. Bearing in mind the only England batsman of the last 50 years to average above 50 is Root, I think a pretty good case can be made for an England top 10. (according to cricinfo he has the 16th highest average of an England batsmen. Very few of those above him played after 1950)

          I saw him live once, on the final day at the Oval against India in around 2007. He got a century, playing a controlled, steady (almost boring) innings. England needed a win to tie the series, but also faced the real prospect of losing the test. He saved the game, but India won the series.
          Last edited by ooh aah; 18-03-2018, 04:36.

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            #6
            He either retired years ago, or he hasn't retired yet. Chances are he'll be playing soon enough for the Wuhan Wizards or wherever the next franchise fun is to be found.

            If you're of a certain generation (i.e. mine) the standard GOAT question is "How would he have done against the West Indies at full throttle?". I'd guess: win a few battles, but lose the Tests. Cook and Steve Smith would have done better, even if that only meant a draw and a season ticket at the hospital.

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              #7
              Fair few people who more than likely marvelled at his genius at the time clamouring to give him a fair whack of abuse, which is partly understandable.

              His innings at Headingley and Mumbai in 2012 were the work of someone on a different level to anything not previously seen in an England shirt, and quite possibly never to be seen again (Stokes at Cape Town is as near a comparison I can find). You were pretty much guaranteed that when he got to 30-40* and was already hitting deliveries from outside off stump through mid wicket that it was time to pour a drink, settle down and watch the carnage unfold. A wonderful player, no question.

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                #8
                To use the cliché, a player of brilliant innings, if not quite a brilliant player.

                As his career basically is post-SKY I didn't see enough of him to make a judgement. He looked pretty good in highlights reels.

                And an utter cunt.

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                  #9
                  Doesn't matter how good he was, he let the national team and his captain down.

                  Is it just in Australia he's known as FIGJAM, or everywhere?

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                    #10
                    I don't think that expression has travelled.

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                      #11
                      Found it quite amusing that his final match was scoring 7 for Quetta Gladiators against the Islamabad Unicorns in Sharjah.

                      Saw all his Test centuries at Headingley - Pakistan in 2006 where the umpire failed to give him out caught behind early on then shortly after completing his ton he went off with cramp in his arm, the Windies double ton a year later on that perishingly cold day nmrfox mentions up thread, and "that" innings on Super Saturday in 2012 where he whacked Steyn and Morkel to every corner of the ground.

                      But yeah, utterly self obsessed and can't also help remembering all those occasions he got out trying to hit a six to bring up a century or the time he got out for 12 off five balls when England were climbing their way back into a match once.

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                        #12
                        A typically entitled white South African prick who made a runner, claiming to be a victim of racism when his lack of application and commitment to the game and poor averages led to him being dropped. And, like those South African ex-pats in south-west London whom everybody hates, the fucker kept bad-mouthing the country of is birth. He left SA because a black player took his place in a team which on performance Pietersen didn't deserve. That's not just white entitlement, but it's also racist. So fuck him.

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                          #13
                          Phil Mickelson is also known as Figjam on the PGA tour by his fellow pros. Don't know if it was the Aussie pros who first gave him that moniker.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by G-Man View Post
                            A typically entitled white South African prick who made a runner, claiming to be a victim of racism when his lack of application and commitment to the game and poor averages led to him being dropped. And, like those South African ex-pats in south-west London whom everybody hates, the fucker kept bad-mouthing the country of is birth. He left SA because a black player took his place in a team which on performance Pietersen didn't deserve. That's not just white entitlement, but it's also racist. So fuck him.
                            I missed most of his career because I was in Turkey and cricket wasn't easy to follow there so didn't know this about him. He always comes across as being an arrogant prick so fuck him.

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                              #15
                              OK, I have to know: what does "Figjam" actually mean, then?

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                                #16
                                "Fuck I'm good, just ask me"

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                                  #17
                                  Fuck I'm good, just ask me.

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                                    #18
                                    Foxy is quicker, just ask him.

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                                      #19
                                      Hahah, thanks both of you gents.

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                                        #20
                                        It's one of those clever hidden insults, cos fig jam is a thing, and might be construed as you saying someone was really nice and sweet ...

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