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The 'medical dispensary' thread, review, thread... oh fuck

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    #26
    Husband cooked Taiwan's national dish (again... one of the few things he doesn't fuck up): my review in a moment. First, a word from our sponsor:

    HELP!

    Thank you.

    My husband's beef noodle: what can I say?

    It was delicious. It was so delicious that I could move to Hoxton, and sell gallons of the shit off a wheelbarrow.

    Later, I will be reviewing blueberry muffins. Not because I like them, but because I have 4 in the fridge, and I am going to eat them.

    (Gerontophile: bringing you reviews of shit, that your grandparents normally would, if they were alive.)

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      #27
      Oh, and I should throw the fact that I made a cheesecake, last night, in the midst of being absolutely wrecked, last night.

      This is not an issue. I am a guy with available ingredients aaround the place, so you know, go for it, occasionally.

      That isn't the point. The point is, that I suspect (I haven't tasted it yet) that I used the bag of 'Space Dust' I recently purchased, in the biscuit base. (It's cherry, since you asked, and so is the space dust. Las Vegas is famous for cherries, as you well know.)

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        #28
        Oh, and I probably shouldn't mention the folded up $50 bill in the condom pocket of my jeans. THAT was unexpected.

        Sometimes, life is ok.

        The kickers on the gridiron teams can really get their legs in the air, after kicking. It's like... they practiced.

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          #29
          Oh, yes: the base is made of a shitty, dollar store, cookie with 'chocolate' stripes, and is the closest thing to digestives I can find, here. It was no big deal.

          And, yes, since you ask, our flat IS an ongoing kitchen with stuff 'ongoing'. Currently, I am trying my best not to touch the slow cooker, which is spewing out some delicious... 'ferment', but is , and I quote "not ready. Don't fucking touch it, or I will slap you silly" not ready.

          I should probably go to the racist thread, as that will be easier to deal with, than waiting for some c*nt to fuck off out of my (yes, MY) kitchen. (Husband is napping... yeah, I should put the roux, I am not in the middle of, down his throat, so that the selenium will be easier to deal with.)

          I digress.

          Big bags of grated cheese: a good thing?

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            #30
            So, yesterday, I tried something called "Big WoW", and I realised pretty quickly, that I should never go up against something called "Big WoW" when you are tired, and five tenand a bit if you are lucky.

            So, from my ramblings elsewhere, you can tell I lost. But by how much?

            This may be the most coherent I am for a while, so:

            It looks very 'green', which means it's either "young", or "greenhoused". I am not sure. If, like wine, you could lay this down, it would look a lot better with some, 'ginger'.

            It smells 'young: It does. This doesn't help anyone.

            It tastes ... I want to say bitter, but that would imply that I have only tasted 'old', and you can fill in the gaps in my typing. 'Sharp' is another word.. and that implies young... so, yes, it has been cut quickly for rapid sale.

            Stone-wise, fucking hell. Sorry about the stuff I typed, but, my socks have been misplaced.

            So: so far, so good. Two reviews, two... I want to say thumbs up, but I am pretty sure.

            Nah, whatever. Nevada is fucking mental, but the grass is ok. ($47 is quite expensive, but I got a full fucking eighth!)

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              #31
              Oh, and nice place, lovely staff, and they care about things that aren't selling. lots out of lots.

              (Snake, I am allowed to name names? I am not being paid, I promise. I ain't being coerced either. And be honest, if you owned one of them, would you want your name associated with someone like me?


              Yeah, ok, I can see where you are going with that, but no, my words are my own.)
              Last edited by Gerontophile; 26-01-2018, 15:16.

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                #32
                OK. Took me a while, still haven't turned over to "Family Guy".

                Anyway. Today was a sativa named (and I fucking shit you not) "Road House".

                It is light and fluffy, and if you want to listen to music, I suggest Haydn. Maybe Berlioz, depending on how much you smoked in the first pipe.

                It was $44 for a 3.5g, orange, absolutely smelling of mint, and maybe... sort of citrussy-mushroom. Maybe I should have washed my hands first. I digress.

                Really good. Energetically good. I read a book today, and for part of the time, I was sat up.

                Hunger wise, I suggest spicy rather than sweet. The 12 Baby Ruth's I just ate were ok, but I would have preferred 4 pizzas.

                So, in conclusion, to sum up, as in an ending... aye, it was grass, and it did exactly what it said on the tin.

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                  #33
                  I thought I would ask here, what's the deal with hummingbirds in Las Vegas, in February? Today. It's not even warm. 68 tops today. Where do they go? They can't fly that far, and it's fucking cold out now. Were they just the scouts, so the rest of the billions of hummingbirds can come here and not fucking stay still for a second/my camera?

                  Bastards, the lot of them.

                  Ahem. Yes, I saw one today. As always, it's really cool.

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                    #34
                    Hummingbirds are incredibly cool. But you'll find that there's a lot of hate for them on these pages, because they're psycho fighty bastards. For some reason the OTF public wants their birds to be chilled out and loving, rather than just buzzing, floating miracles.

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                      #35
                      Well, ti's fucking 32 today, and I have a large hummingbird stuck up my hula hoop, so you know, rock on.

                      "Road House" is to be beatified.

                      Alisson Janney is fucking god, if she isn't already, god.

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                        #36
                        So, I'm so stoned, that I am watching James Corden's show with Alisson Janney. And Joel McCrae (don't worry about it), whom I thought was gay, but isn't, but is really funny, without trying, and I KNEW there was a reason for watching that comedy when he came back from being a Ranulph Fiennes character, to the magazine that he had been doing the things he did, for. To see all these youngsters with their exotic electricity etc. (Stephen Fry was in it, which helped to begin with, but it turned out that the guy from the movie when he was "McLovin", that was the standout in that whole semi-shitshow. (Christopher Mintz-Plasse0

                        Anyway, it was a good try.

                        And Mr McCrae has sworn a bit, so tha't cool, and Ms Janney is Ms Janney.


                        You know, she is really going for this thing. She is on everything. All over my mental twitter.. maybe, I dunno, it's because I have been thinking about her for a while? Yeah... in comparison with Sarah Huckabee-Sanders... if she wins the Oscar, will that be held against her?


                        So, I should have mentioned, that "Road House" is 17.5% on both sides of the corridor: THC and CBD. It has stopped the cold I had, stone dead, and, it is making me watch LIAM FUCKING GALLAGHER IS ON JAMES CORDEN's show right here, right now.

                        He's mullering this... the sound is awful. No, actually, it sounds as if he is jet-lagged... didn't he just do the Brits? (So fucking nasal...)

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                          #37
                          Oh, this is much better.

                          Still, nasal, still, Liam... still giving it all.

                          Americans will fucking hate him.

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                            #38
                            Anyway, he was on the Brits, which was Manchester last night, so, Los Angeles about 4/5 hours ago, is.... I can't do the Korea thing properly, so you know, bollocks.

                            (I should probably whisper this, but he did really well, after the first verse. The song was fucking awful, but he was pretty good.)

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                              #39
                              "That concludes the voting from the Homosexual jury."

                              <Katie> "Thank you, Village People. Goede Avonds, Boney M. Goe Gaat Jij (wink)?"

                              <Ghost of Boney M> How come those cunts from Berlin, forgot about us with the history of that fucking Bowie label? Oh, and MA BAKER etc.

                              What say you, Lou Reed: Do you know who Russia's greatest love machine was?

                              <audience> fuck off, this is a good, basic try, now fuck off.

                              OK.

                              I wonder what the question was?
                              Last edited by Gerontophile; 22-02-2018, 09:46. Reason: The question was, why were Boney M written out of the Hansa label story?

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                                #40
                                Yeah, I'm done. It's fucking freezing here: ok, it's 35F, as I squeak. I got to work last night, and my phone said 32, and I said thanks loads, but what about when the light shines on me, and everyone who read that, knew it was coming, but it was 32 degrees fahrenheit, last night. I had to take the big jacket back out of storage. AND, I still wore the hoodie thing.

                                Anyway, you should all enjoy your day. I have. And I am a twat, but every day, I get better, and better.

                                (Did I mention about the same female in KLF and S'Express?)

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                                  #41
                                  Gero doing his stream-of-consciousness stuff is an interesting read at any time, but when he's stoned to the tits? Fuckin' brilyint, as we say back home.

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                                    #42
                                    This thread is an absolute work of art.

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                                      #43
                                      Addenda (sic?):

                                      It IS possible to wake up still stoned.

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                                        #44
                                        Almost inevitably with the gouchy plastic sliver filled slate/soap of times past. Definitely had a fuzzy head most mornings on that throat shredding teeth staining mind fogging guff.

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                                          #45
                                          Oh, man! I miss those days of hash... everything is so fucking ... organised, here.

                                          (Excepting, you know, the smoking outside, in public, or anywhere that isn't a private domain (house), thing)

                                          I miss the days of doing the "French Connection 2", when passing a grizzly joint to yer mate, who immediately says "oh, you bastard, guy, who isn't Gene Hackman".

                                          Maybe that was just me. I don't miss it.

                                          Now, if only, if only, I could quit smoking and drinking. Yes, one kidney and half a liver later, I am still a twat. 'Im indoors thinks that I should 'relax... if I can do it, you can', and I want to hit him in the balls of his feet with an electric poker.

                                          I have, maybe, 7 beers in a week. Usually all on the same day, which is not a good thing. I smoke maybe 100 fags (Frankie Howerd's ghost says "NO, Stoppit") in a week. I walk 7 miles per day, when I work, not counting what I do at work. I have a fucking six-pack stomach... and no weight above it.

                                          So, when I get days off, I cook. Hence the thing about the knife on the other thread. 'Im inddors has seen this before. The non-eating thing... night shifts are an awfy bind, but needs must when the devil vomits on your healthcare.

                                          Fortunately, it is currently 45F, and much as I love fags (NO!), it's too fucking cold to sit on the balcony, when your fingers are turning blue and you can't hold the book, you claim to be reading when you step outside.

                                          The best thing about the Nevada grass law is that it tells you immediately who your friends are.

                                          *Obviously, 'im indoors is good people by not allowing cigarette smoke in the ... I think it's called 'condo'. That, and he smoked 40 a day for about 20 years, so is fucking apeshit jealous. That is not a good thing for me to think.
                                          Last edited by Gerontophile; 22-02-2018, 21:40.

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                                            #46
                                            Originally posted by My Name Is Ian View Post
                                            This thread is an absolute work of art.
                                            No, sir: I only came here to chew ass and kick gum, and I am all out of Bubbalicious.

                                            I thank you, and everyone for letting me vent, and I apologise to anyone who is about to be hurt, when I go for the Vegas shot at the title over the weekend: "Kick-Ass". Yes, the grass here is named after film titles.

                                            Ian, your ... quality of rant is unmatched. I salute you, and one day I would like to be as loquacious as you. Without the West Brom shit, obviously.

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                                              #47
                                              Well, hello lung yuvvers, wherever you are. Back on the beat with yours truly.

                                              Today, sorry, yesterday, was spent working, sleeping, walking a neighbours dog, and then... well, I admit to buying a thing called 'Cheery Blossom'.

                                              It seems to have done the trick. I've forgotten the last 6 hours, and 'Im indoors has started smoking again. Fortunately, there are no dead bodies.

                                              I suspect it was named after a character out of PterryPratchett, and if so, well done that bush. (Cheery Littlebottom, since you ask.)

                                              I recommend it highly. Oh, and the shop (I will add the name and address later) was lovely and clean, but not clinical, like some others. They had a party ongoing, as you walked in. As in "It's really legal, so fuck off", and had we more time, I would have liked to have hung around and got arrested. But I digress.

                                              Nice shop, great grass, and that's it, really. Only 7 out of ten though... had to press myself to type this... I'd rather jiggle my legs to the music, and it's pretty strong. OK 8.5 out of 10.

                                              Blue sherbet. Remind me of that in a week.

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                                                #48
                                                Yeah... no. Blue sherbet is really good

                                                What was the question? Now, if only the post actually delivered...

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                                                  #49
                                                  Just sometimes, it's ... yeah. Sorry, no highlights or hindsights.

                                                  (Fucking good gear, this.)

                                                  x

                                                  *Just so you all know, I am watching "Looking For Eric."

                                                  It's hilarous.

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                                                    #50
                                                    So: I have had a weird work (and apologies to anyone I offended. Not because I was wrong. But because I offended you. I apologise for that always. You know, until you're a cunt, and I digress) week. I got docked half an hours work, for helping a team mate. I cycled to work and back with 3 seriously differing times, and 'the person whom I speak to most who is not my husband' had a bad week.

                                                    Hers was worse than mine. (You all thought it was a guy?)

                                                    But, frankly, I was only there to make the jokes before she goes back to Florida to fill in the whole... yeah. OK. I am making this up. But only because I can't say names and faces, and places and stuff.

                                                    Oh, and this weeks coffee shop, is "some guys homegrown on the way back from doing him a solid, and getting a 'lump' sum in return" type thing.

                                                    Firstly, it is not an ill-gotten gain. Secondly, it smells more new than a ewe and you, and yew, and EEEWWWW. That is some fresh homegrown (I lived with a grower... he would have bottled this if he could have found it.)

                                                    Anyway... It is sharp on the nose. It is 'springy' in the pipe, and some might say spongy, but they would not have had a bang on that baby.

                                                    So, other than hearing Ms Chatelaine at full volume in a bar with millions of decibels, I give this weeks coffee shop '0' out of 10. It was not a coffee shop, and the gear was free.

                                                    Next week, I will be showing you how to roll a joint by clingfilming a canoe, and hoping the world goes a bit faster.

                                                    (Strength? Seriously 8.5... fucking hell... I have just been trying to hang on.)

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