I didn't think even Tory MPs could be as bad as fucking Rees-Mogg. Turns out that there are at least 50 of the cunts as equally detached from fucking reality as he is.
Hang on. Are they saying there is going to be a separate game set up (called Yachtie! or Splash the Cash!), where some of the money from that scratchcard and just that scratchcard goes towards the Royal Yacht? Because if that's the case, then I'm all in favour. I wouldn't pay a single penny towards it, as opposed to the normal way they fund these things, which means that as a taxpayer I do.
Using funds from a new national lottery game to pay for a new Britannia would allow ordinary Britons "the pride of having a stake" in helping to fund the new yacht which would "showcase the best of British business and project our humanitarian role across the globe", the MPs said.
Excellent. So the 90% of the public who think giving the queen a solid gold boat is moronic can opt out of paying for it?
Provided that they clarify that no other government funds will go into the purchase or upkeep of the yacht, and it can't be purchased until there are sufficient funds from the Lotto game, I 'd actually be in favour.
Once the cash is raised could QE2 — or Chuck or Will, if it comes to them — say " Thanks, but we don't really need a boat. Can you give the money to women's shelters, or child-care centres please?"
I mean the royal yacht was mainly somewhere Phil could go to get pissed with his navy mates and shag his mistresses (or t'other way round) wasn't it? None of the rest have any particular maritime interests.
Oh, speaking of lotteries, the group that won the $60 million in last week's Lotto Max draw did exactly what I'd have done: posed for the legal-obligation picture and said fuck all else about their jobs, their lives, their plans for the money, or anything else.
Well, almost exactly: I'd have grown a big, long fuck-off beard and worn shades and a John Deere baseball cap for the picture.
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