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Hollerbach's Currywurst - Bundesliga 2017/18

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    Very true - many years ago, spent an afternoon at the Christmas market in Mainz, drinking Glühwein Turbo (with shots of amaretto or schnapps added). Things started to go wrong on the train back as we switched back to beer (never a good move), then rolled up to a birthday party in Heidelberg, totally shitfaced and the object of much derision from pretty much everyone else present. The hangover on the Sunday morning was a corker, too. Have steered clear of the Turbo option ever since...

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      Back in my extremely stupid youth, me and my mates used to drink turbo diesel. Snakebite and black with a vodka dropped in it.

      It's a wonder we're all still here, really.

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        My issue with Glühwein is one of chemistry; simply that ethanol evaporates at about 78°.

        Seeing as I never see thermometers, how do I know there's actually any alcohol left? Is there a thermostat on the cooker?

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          Experience, after 8 Becher Glühwein, will compensate for the lack of thermostats.

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            Anyway, Dortmund... FFS.

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              Hannover is doing quite good this season, the win yesterday was a bonus win I think. They are doing a lot better as I expected them to do.

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                The slow and volatile Sokratis has long been a weak link in the Dortmund defence, but seems to have been surviving on 'character' alone. I've no idea how he's been getting away with a starting spot for so long, why they haven't signed anyone decent to replace him, or why separate teams of professional coaches have not spotted what a consistent liability he is.

                I know that out of the trio of contenders we should all be morally behind Dortmund, but I'm getting a peculiar kick out of seeing them ship so many goals and fall on their arses this season. It may be due to the arrogance of a Dortmund fan I know, which I think possibly reflects a wider attitude among their support. Used to vaguely want them to do well.

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                  I'm on Amrum at the moment. This afternoon, I went out for an invigorating stroll with my god-daughter, fully intent on introducing her to the wind, scurrying clouds, mudflats, wildlife and the all-round rosy-cheeked lifestyle for which the island is renowned.

                  The stroll ended after about five minutes. The first pub we walked past had a question-and-answer session with HSV's Dennis Diekmeier. So we went and watched that instead.

                  I tried getting her to ask some questions - "Why have you never scored in nigh-on 200 Bundesliga games, you useless bastard?"; "Why are your tattoos so shit?", that sort of thing -, but she bottled it.

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                    Best of luck getting home. This storm has been something.

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                      Originally posted by ursus arctos View Post
                      Best of luck getting home. This storm has been something.
                      Thanks for the goid wishes. We're here till next Saturday, so it should all have blown over by then.

                      Winds of up to 120 km/h really are quite remarkable.

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                        Ah, I was hoping you were there for a while

                        The flotsam and jetsam should be quite interesting

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                          Originally posted by ursus arctos View Post
                          The flotsam and jetsam should be quite interesting
                          Well, he's already said he's seen Dennis Diekmeier. Boom-Tisch.

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                            Diekmeier was actually very good. He only said "Scheiße" three times and only said "Wichser" once, the latter referring to himself.

                            My nickname in our football team is "Diekmeier", stemming from the fact that I haven't scored since Helmut Kohl was Federal Chancellor.

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                              Looking up Amrum on Wikipedia, the section on economy rather tickled me.

                              Amrum's main branch of economy is tourism. In 2007 the island could provide 12,000 beds. In 2008 approximately 135,000 tourists and 1.3 million lodgings were registered.

                              Agriculture is also being practised on Amrum and the port hosts a single fisherman.

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                                Originally posted by tee rex View Post
                                A real slapstick miss, wrong foot, falling over, the works. Along with the Frankfurt keeper, and Bayern's profligacy, the latest Bundesliga highlights show definitely delivered the laughs.
                                I might as well just repeat this every week. Those wacky Germans, it's like Benny Hill never left us. More comedy goalies, VAR decisions by coin-tossing, a dozen ways found not to score easy goals. Only disappointment is the season plot starting to look samey. Bayern have won it already, if anything the challengers are looking worse than last year. And Hamburg will survive feebly, as usual.

                                Poor Cologne (I still can't do umlauts).

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                                  Originally posted by tee rex View Post
                                  Hamburg will survive feebly, as usual.
                                  Yep.

                                  Another "as usual" will be that they'll sell their best youngster (in this case, Fiete Arp) to Leverkusen.

                                  (I feel obliged to point out that Arp is merely their best youngster. Their best player, since last Sunday's love-in on Amrum at any rate, is Dennis Diekmeier. He's no longer "Diekmeier". He's "Uns Dennis".)

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                                    Well, actually, thinking about it, it's "Euch Dennis". But the original point still stands. Dennis Diekmeier is the best player HSV have ever had.

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                                      So much for the Schalke revival/Dortmund crisis narrative.



                                      At the half in the Revierderby: BvB Dortmund 09 4 (FOUR) - Schalke 04 0 (NIL)

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                                        And now it is 4-4

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                                          Utterly mental. Aubameyang got sent off at 4-2. Given that he had just returned from an internal suspension for being late to training, he's probably not receiving unqualified love from Watzke at the moment.

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                                            He also tried to take on half the Schalke squad during the post-match handbags that Sahin started.

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                                              Bayern lost their first game under Jupp Heynckes -- at his home club Mönchengladbach. Christoph Kramer had to be taken off with concussion after ten minutes; which is becoming something of a standing feature with him.

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                                                Wednesday my former office mate Nico sent me a whatsapp message asking me whether I wanted to be in the stadium for BVB - Schalke. I had to decline, since my significant other and I had prior appointments in the Netherlands this weekend.

                                                Four fucking four. I know we have a house ban and all, but this is the moment for a

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                                                  Ouch.

                                                  Things are getting bad for Köln with injuries. They have one central defender left, and will most likely play with a full-back from the second team at centre against Hertha BSC. And none of the central defenders are likely to be back before the new year. The victory against Arsenal came with injuries to central defender Maroh, left-back Jannes Horn, and "striker" Cordoba. Altogether 11 players who get regular starts are out, including both first-choice central defenders and both first-choice defensive midfielders, the first-choice wingers and the first-choice striker.

                                                  On top of that, Köln seem to be at the rough end of every video ref decision. Which isn't helpful if you're eight points adrift from a relegation play-off place.

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                                                    There's a Facebook event for Köln fans for the Promotion Party 2019. According to kicker, 700 people have already RSVPed.

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