X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Various Artist]

It's been quite surreal that 'chase' – Strumpet City have fallen over the finishing line with a game to spare on the back of an eight-game winless run. It shows just how competitive the division has been this season: any one of us could've caught them if we'd only put a few wins together ourselves, but none of us have managed it either. Atlantis are on a 9-game unbeaten run right now, yet we've 'only' gone 3-6-0 in that time and have drawn our last 3; if we'd won any of them it would've put the pressure on City but my tactics and our performances haven't been good enough.

We've felt mediocre the entire campaign actually, so to have been technically in contention for the title with a week to go is bizarre – but just looking at how many draws there's been overall, and how close it is between the top 4 and the relegation places (9 points), sums up the Premiership season. It's been fascinating, in an only slightly underwhelming fashion! The real challenge, of course, will be to see if any of us can hold off Sirrel County and T.G.I.F next season, who will be hitting the top flight with incredible momentum behind them and sure to be contending strongly.

[Various Artist]

It is. To be fair, although fundamentally a lurker, I have posted occasionally under other incarnations in the past.

Ahh, that's what I thought was the case! Hoorah and guzman though, great to see you here PP – especially at a time when you're ranked #1 manager in the OTF league I believe, off the back of reaching the top flight with the Rejects Redux in only 7 seasons from new after your return to the league. Heck of an achievement. Please keep posting!

[Pat Pending]

Thanks VA. The elevation to #1 ranking had escaped my attention, I'll resist the temptation to quit while I'm ahead.

[Janik]

A double dose of X11 Ladies action for you this week.

First up it’s the X11 Ladies Matchday 7 report. The turn, as golfers would say.

Division 1a

Juves tjejer 		0 - 1	Viking South Utsira
				A.Austrheim 12'


Division 4i

Drakaina		2 - 0	Gazzas Gals
Merckx 7'
Gitsis 87'

Q.P.R Ladies 		3 - 0	Coxy Ladies Wulpen
Haslop 32', 73'
Lever 91'


Division 5:16

San Francisco 9ers 	1 - 1	Erbil
Del Horno 8'			Solaun 69'


Division 5:20

Sockford Emollient	1 - 2	Chili Babes
Antonellini 40'			Dovblom 38'
				Brändström 52'


Division 5:21

Bethanys Binos 		0 - 0	Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC

Glada Märsta Ladies	0 - 2	Solent Sirens
				Sander 1'
				Abbiati 17'

Division 5:28

Danis Ladies 		3 - 0	Menywod Maeshafn
Hellqvist 51'
Nyström 61'
Coppinger 92'


Division 5:31

Csiki Girls		4 - 0	Seba United FC
Igreja  17'
Woozley 20', 43'
Smet 68'


Division 6:33

LNWR Locomotive		3 - 0	f.c vixens
Heart 39'
Ryman 46'
Nixon 88'


Division 6:36

Ullapool Northern Star	4 - 2	1492er Schlampen
Barkho 15', 69'			Egeriis 49'
Menashi 32'			Penton 64'
Sehlstedt 82'


Division 6:39

Invisible Ladies	0 - 3	Spandex FC
				Kalfian 35', 63'
				Sarasua (pen) 60'


Division 6:40

Witches of Chiswick	3 - 0	Zenit Odenplan Ladies
Matzuoka 10'
Altstrand 29', 60'


Division 6:53

GGW FC			0 - 2	Fight 2 Win
				Skari 13'
				Hamshaw 63'

Zeugma Dostluk Spor	3 - 0	Super Ladies
Áláfinesse 11'
Sales 27'
Heatley 64'


Division 6:56

Republic of Ireland 	0 - 4	Dublin City WFC
				Dunganstown 7'
				Brennan 10'
				Cruz 21', 36'

Viking South Utsira ended the first half of their debut season in the second tier with a trip to Juves tjejer.
The hosts were bottom of the table with just three points from their opening six games, putting the pressure on The Blood Eagles to deliver. That burden was eased early on though, Asta Austrheim nodding Velvet Android’s side ahead after 12 minutes.
Would this prove to be the start of a comfortable afternoon? Well, no, because there are no bad sides at this high altitude. However if tjejer did not go away, they didn’t come back either, the game remaining delicately poised at 1-0 until referee Taykabribe’s final whistle blew.
Victory meant Utsira end the first round robin third in the Division 1a table. They are two points adrift of second-placed Spearwives of Ygritte, but also only two points clear of the drop zone.

The two OTF sides in Division 4i have had opposite trajectories through the opening half of the campaign. Drakaina started relatively slowly, picking up just one point from their opening two games. However three wins and a draw had lifted The Dragons to top spot ahead of their showdown with Gazzas Gals.
This was an open encounter with lots of chances at either end and two strong goalkeeping performances, but a game that definitely tipped in Drakaina’s favour. They went ahead after 7 minutes when defender Amalia Merckx was unexpectedly on hand in the area during open play to fire home. The game then settled into a pattern of near misses and saves, with much accompanying oohing and aahing from the Delphi crowd. They finally were able to relax when Elena Gitsis’ long range shot on 87 minutes gave them a two goal cushion.
In contrast to Drakaina, Coxy Ladies Wulpen started fast and were top when they boasted ten points from four games, but had stuttered since and fallen to second prior to their to a Q.P.R Ladies team that was in the relegation zone.
The casual observer would never have guessed which team was near the summit and which was struggling as the Hoops dominated from the outset. They went one up on 32 minutes, and though The Waders clung on to keep it close for a while when QPR added two more in the last twenty minutes it was no more than they deserved.
Wulpen thought they had got a consolation in injury-time, but it was disallowed which summed up a very bad day for Janik’s side. It was a defeat that meant Coxy Ladies have picked up just one point from their last three games, a run that has seen them drop to third in the table, two points behind the play-offs and only two above the relegation zone. Meanwhile Etienne’s Dragons are two points clear at the top of the pile, and four ahead of Wulpen.

Erbil’s last first meeting with a new opponent saw them on the West Coast to take on San Francisco 9ers (or something like that).
The hosts came out hyped out, an attitude that saw them injure an Erbil player (but only minorly) before they took the lead on 8 minutes with a free-kick routine. Having gone ahead Frisco then asked Jdsx’s side to break them down. Erbil cranked up the pressure, particularly in the second-half but could only force the door fully open once, Alanza Solaun firing in from distance on 69 minutes.
While Erbil remain unbeaten and Division 5:16’s top scorers, too many draws (this was their fourth in seven games) have slowed them down and they find themselves third in the standings, one point out of the play-off place and a healthy five ahead of the drop zone.

To date Sockford Emollient have been tight in defence but not prolific in attack, with just nine goals combined scored and conceded in their six games prior to taking on bottom-of-the-table Chili Babes.
The lack of prolificness in front of goal does put The Gatorsharks at risk if they go behind, which is exactly what happened in this one as Chili Babes scored on 38 minutes. Boss Foxy265 would have been hoping for a quick response, and that is exactly what he got as Donya Antonellini raced clear to equalise just two minutes later.
If Toni Duggan’s strike second after half-time has stood that would have completed the turn around, but once it didn’t and was soon followed by another for Chili Babes that did satisfy Luke Bribe, the situation of the somewhat blunt Emollient attack needing to fire was raised again.
This time it was answered in the negative, the defeat seeing Sockford’s advantage over the Division 5:20 bottom three cut to only goal difference. They remain fifth.

A good run had propelled Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC well up the Division 5:21 table prior to their visit to mid-table Bethanys Binos.
This match wouldn’t be one of the Sea Spirits stronger showings, however. In fact SeanoftheShed’s side didn’t create a single chance in the game, and that despite playing three up front. The Binos also went with an attacking trident, but even with this they couldn’t spear Kanjeng, the match finishing goalless.
Elsewhere in the same section, Solent Sirens were in something close to the last chance saloon when they visited fellow strugglers Glada Märsta Ladies.
It might seem extremely early to talk in such terms with half a season plus a game to play, but the two teams each had just two points to their names and were eight points from safety at the start of play. Victory was imperative to both.
In such circumstances a good start is a huge benefit but it was The Sirens who got it. The perfect beginning actually, as Ann-Sofie Sander rifled in the opener seconds after the start. What a way to get your first ever career goal! 17 minutes in and the lead was doubled in similar fashion, Geovana Abbiati providing the hammer this time.
With that Solent boss Andrew7610 could cautiously relax, baring a brief scare a few minutes later when Glada Märsta had the ball in the net only for it to be disallowed. The Sirens also saw a goal chalked off after the break, but with their two-goal lead intact and dominating possession and chances that was easy to brush off.
Despite the win, Solent remain in deep trouble in seventh place in the table, five points adrift of fifth and survival. Another win in the immediate return is essential. The Sea Goddesses, meanwhile, tack around the end buoy in third, one point out of the play-off place.

Not all leaderships are as secure as others. Just ask one Ms May of Whitehall about that. Menywod Maeshafn’s heading of Division 5:28 was similarly precarious, with a number of teams hovering ominously less than three points behind them. That group included their Week 7 hosts, Danis Ladies.
Looking to preserve the status quo, Maeshafn manager IsThatcherDeadYet set his team up in a rather defensive fashion. This work in terms of hogging the ball, Maeshafn would push 60% possession throughout the 90 minutes, but not in stopping Danis Ladies creating chances. Four came and went unconverted in the first half, but that wasn’t the case after the break as the hosts struck three times (on five shots).
Maeshafn were more creative themselves in the second half, but couldn’t break through despite nearly half-a-dozen attempts of their own. The heavy defeat was accompanied by an equally weighty slide down the table as all four teams in striking distance of Maeshafn all got the results they needed to leapfrog the Welsh side. They are now fifth, two points behind the top two sides and just three ahead of the team one place below them, who, crucially, are also on the other side of the relegation line.

[Janik]

Unbeaten Csiki Girls seventh opponent of the season was struggling Seba United FC.
The Csiki’s are normally a pretty buttoned-up team, one that aims to win games one or two nil. However they were in expansive mood on this occasion and two to the good inside twenty minutes via strikes from Carlota Igreja and a Trudy Woozley direct free-kick. Often this would satisfy manager ad hoc, but this time he was still waving his team imperiously forward after they had established that significant lead. The Csiki fans were reward for this adventurousness by two more goals, a second set piece by Woozley (43 minutes) and a header from Floriane Smet (68).
This was not just a hatful of goals for the A kertem crowd to enjoy, but also a lot for audiences in Division 5:31 generally as the entire section has been very tight so far, with an average of just 1.75 goals per game over the first six rounds. The rout makes Csiki Girls the top scorers (with 11) and also keeps them second in the standings, one point behind leaders Cowgirls and three ahead of third-placed Târnãveni.

Top against bottom was our fare in Division 6:33 as LNWR Locomotive hosted f.c vixens.
The Steamers were the driving force in the game, as expected. They controlled proceedings from the outset, with just the breakthrough required. It arrived on 39 minutes, Phrigit Heart the provider. That goal took the breaks off, and seconds into the second period it was two when Lisa Ryman nodded in. By now it was smooth running, with a third coming towards the end of the line from Charlotte Nixon.
The win kept Viktor Boskovic’s charges at the top of the timetable. Locomotive’s advantage over the next station is two points, with third a further three back.

Fans of pithy club names would have been advised to avoid Ullapool Northern Star vs 1492er Schlampen (“Tausendvierhundertzweiundneunziger Schlampen”). Unless they also appreciated incident packed matches that is, then they would have been best to come up with ad hoc abbreviations and bear it.
The first notable action was on 15 minutes, Zebela Barkho firing Ullapool ahead. Sonia Menashi made it two with a shot from distance on 32 minutes, and that was how the match stood at the interval. However this was a mite unfair on Schlampen, who had contributed at least equally to the opening half on all but goals. So there was a feeling of “it’s been coming” from the Minchview crowd when the visitors pulled one back soon after the break.
They home fans were even less impressed just past the hour when Schlampen equalised. Barkho wasn’t done though, heading her side back in front on 69 minutes. However between the two goals, Norther Star boss delicatemoth had made a double change and she then made another soon after the go-ahead goal, which meant Ullapool were out of substitutions. This looked like it might be costly when skipper Andrea Andersson collapsed with a nasty injury on 77 minutes and had to be stretchered off. Andersson will be out for 17 days.
That left Ullapool trying to defend their slender lead in an evenly fought game with just 10 players. But there is the old saying “Attack is the best form of defence” and Northern Star applied that, adding a fourth on 82 minutes to give themselves breathing space. The identity of the scorer even proved the boss right after all as it was Astrid Sehlstedt, who happened to be the player brought on with the third change!
The win saw Ullapool jump two places up the Division 6:36 table to sit fourth. They are only four points adrift of the play-off place, which shows just how quickly things can improve with an experienced and knowledgeable hand on the tiller.

The final match of the opening half for Invisible Ladies threatened to be a tough one as they faced Division 6:39 leaders Spandex FC.
The last thing The See-Throughs needed was a significant injury to a key player, but that is exactly what Pebblethefish had on his hands when first choice ‘keeper Nadine Hanley was stretchered off with a 15-day knock just past the half-hour. Fortunately The See-Throughs had another ‘keeper on the bench in Persephone Ostrovski, and she is unusually strong and experienced for a back-up, but even so she was picking the ball out of the back of her net just four minutes later.
Events continued to conspire against The See-Throughs as referee Travis Tee awarded Spandex a dubious penalty from which they made it two, and though there was nothing apparently wrong with their third, let’s assume it was dodgy anyway.
The loss didn’t cost Invisible any places, they remain fifth, but it did increase the gap to the play-offs from one to four points.

Witches of Chiswick were strong favourites for their game against Zenit Odenplan Ladies as the two teams were towards opposite ends of the table.
The Bewitched started well, Tomiko Matzuoka being sprung clean through to give them the lead after 10 minutes. Following this the teams traded chances, with one key difference between them – Chiswick had Sarah Altstrand in their ranks. Altstrand did her thing with two direct free-kicks on 29 and 60 minutes to increase the final score to 3-0 in favour of Wiblflibl’s charges. This was arguably rather harsh on Zenit, who had had four chances of their own, but if you don’t take them...
The one negative on The Bewitched’s day was an injury picked up by Mari Kurisawa. However it was only a 7 day one, so she should be just about back for the start of a second half in which Chiswick will look to at least preserve their current second place in Division 6:40, and possibly push for top spot. The latter is rendered slightly more plausible after previously seemingly unstoppable leaders Papperhavna unexpectedly dropped their first points of the season to open a chink. The Bewitched still trail by 3 points and also a significant amount of goal difference so it remains merely a glimmer of hope for now. The advantage on third is just a single point.

The self-abuse continues at GGW FC whose latest unscripted effort was against Fight 2 Win.
Despite the hands-off approach, the influence of new boss SouthdownRebel on the GGW players was evidently in a much more disciplined performance. They made their opponents battle all the way to their 2-0 success. Something Fight 2 Win should have found very natural, of course.
The other match in this section pitted top, Zeugma Dostluk Spor, against bottom, Super Ladies.
It was one way traffic from the outset, with Zeugma having around two-thirds of the ball and a slew of chances. Merdaleiro Áláfinesse headed a first after 11 minutes, Juliana Sales nodded a second on 27 and young forward Ashley Heatley fired in a third on 64. Heatley is showing signs of developing into a pretty prolific player; this was her seventh goal (all scored in the league) in 18 appearances, which is a strong strike rate for any player and a formidable one for someone still only at 18/5.
Zeugma boss Antepli Ejderha may have been slightly underwhelmed about only three goals from the 14 chances his team created. However needing a number of attempts to get the necessary goals was better than not so Super Ladies zero shots attempted. The win also kept Zeugma’s perfect record in Division 6:53 going; their halfway lead is five points, with third a further two back. GGW remain seventh, with just Super Ladies trailing them.

Fighting oneself was the order of the day as capital took on nation in the meeting of Dublin City WFC and Republic of Ireland.
A curious crowd gathered at the Avia stadium (sic) to watch this internecine battle. It would prove to be pretty one-sided, tipped in the direction of the smaller geographical area. Which is exactly what one would have expected from the league table before the start, with Dublin top and clear and Ireland last and adrift.
Mortal Joe’s side wasted little time in exerting their superiority, blasting into a two goal lead inside 10 minutes through strikes from Brady Dunganstown and Moira Brennan. Rita Cruz added a brace on 21 and 36 minutes at which point Dublin declared so as not to humiliate their hosts too much.
Dublin’s advantage at the top of Division 6:56 is seven points, with third another three back. Promotion is a near certainty, with the main questions being whether The Dubs can repeat their perfect 7/7 record in the second half.

[Janik]

Then there were two: the X11 Ladies Cup, Round 4.

Gothenburg FC		0 - 3	Viking South Utsira
				Fudida 30'
				Quental 71'
				Jönsson 79'

Viking South Utsira	0 - 0	Gothenburg FC

				Turturicã (sent off) 78'

Viking win 3-0 on aggregate


Pepita´s Team		2 - 0	Erbil
Jesus 4'
Adrião 71'

Erbil			1 - 2	Pepita´s Team
McCan 74'			Cavaco 53'
				Brizas 56'

Pepita's win 4-1 on aggregate

A second successive set of Division 4 opposition greeted Viking South Utsira as they arrived in Sweden to take on Gothenburg FC.
The Blood Eagles appeared in ruthless mood as they went on all-out attack, looking to put the tie to bed in one go. Despite the constant pressure it was only one at the interval, Manuças Fudida netting from a corner on the half-hour. Velvet Android’s side kept the threat up after the break, and that sort of sustained attacking had to lead to further breakthroughs. Two more in fact, both netted by club icons, Lurdes Quental getting the second on 71 minutes and Moa Jönsson firing in a direct free-kick on 79.
The return was mostly about not doing anything stupid, like conceding three away goals. The Blood Eagles approach was cautious but so, inexplicably, was Gothenburg’s who appeared happy to go out as long as they weren’t humiliated. With no threat at goal coming from the visitors, Viking were able to cruise through the game just worrying about their ankles as Gothernburg’s Raluca Turturicã got herself sent off for two bookings.
So to the Arena, and a fifth round clash with Division 5:15 team Trollboll FC. Trollboll are saving their performances for the Cup it seems as they sit seventh in their table, without a league win all campaign. They have also benefitted from a kind draw up until now, so ought to be easy meat for VA’s girls.

Erbil’s 4th Round challenge was Pepita´s Team, who, despite being a bottom tier outfit, have some extremely handy players at their disposal. In fact I’m not entirely clear how they have contrived to be in the seventh tier, and that only just promoted from the now defunct eighth.
The opening leg did nothing to dispel the mystery as Pepita’s dominated from the opening whistle. It looks like Erbil boss Jdsx’s plan was damage limitation and get it back to the Erbil Arena level or close to that, but this went rather out of the window when the hosts scored after just four minutes. From that point it was just grimly hanging on to try and keep hopes alive for the second leg, which was just about managed as Pepita’s were limited to just one more strike.
Conceding an away goal was clearly going to be a killer in the home match which left Erbil walking a tightrope. They had chances in the first half but couldn’t convert and then, on 53 minutes, the disaster happen. Deflated, Erbil conceded another three minutes later. Margaret McCan got the hosts on the scoreboard on 74 minutes, but as that was one of five they now needed it was blatantly only a consolation. McCan didn’t even celebrate.
A disappointing end then, but a fine Cup run nevertheless.

[u]Round 5 draw[/u]
Viking South Utsira	vs	Trollboll FC (5:15)

[Etienne]

If anyone in the Ladies League wants a cheap 17/4 vanilla midfielder we've just listed one. Our academy rather thoughtlessly produced 2 in mid-season and we can only give playing time to 1. We'll accept anything.

[Various Artist]

Viking South Utsira ended the first half of their debut season in the second tier with a trip to Juves tjejer.
The hosts were bottom of the table with just three points from their opening six games, putting the pressure on The Blood Eagles to deliver. That burden was eased early on though, Asta Austrheim nodding Velvet Android’s side ahead after 12 minutes.
Would this prove to be the start of a comfortable afternoon? Well, no, because there are no bad sides at this high altitude. However if tjejer did not go away, they didn’t come back either, the game remaining delicately poised at 1-0 until referee Taykabribe’s final whistle blew.
Victory meant Utsira end the first round robin third in the Division 1a table. They are two points adrift of second-placed Spearwives of Ygritte, but also only two points clear of the drop zone.

Nice one as ever Janik, thank-you. You might find yesterday's VSU press release interesting, by the way:

Asta downs Juves again after 12 seasons
There was a remarkable 'blast from the past' for Viking South Utsira this Tuesday as they restarted their Division 1a momentum with a win at bottom side Juves tjejer.

Three and a half years ago manager Velvet Android was only 20 days into his tenure in charge at the club, then in Division 7, when his side were drawn against Juves in Round 2 of the Season 39 Xpert Ladies Cup. Perhaps the Division 1 giants underestimated Viking that day, as they did not field their strongest side by any means -- and they'd certainly reckoned without Asta Austrheim, first product of the now prolific Utsiran academy, who had joined the squad one day after Android's arrival. The 18-year-old local girl made herself an instant cult hero by scoring just three minutes into her debut in the opening match of the season against Norse rivals Viking HC, then wrote herself into club folklore under three weeks later when she headed the only goal of the game past Tjejer keeper Esta Lombardo in the 80th minute to give South Utsira a famous win. Juves wheeled out more of the big guns in the return leg at home a week later, but despite their plundering an 81st-minute winner in a dramatic 3-2 win, it was Viking who went through on away goals.

Claiming the scalp of a side six divisions above them at virtually the first time of asking set out the Blood Eagles' stall, to some extent, and across the intervening time they have made good on that early promise by slowly but inexorably climbing up the Xpert Ladies pyramid to finally join Juves in Division 1 this season for the first time ever. After a 12-season wait, though, remarkably enough their reunion went exactly the same way as their first meeting. With six members of the Viking squad and 4 of their Italian opposition still present from their previous encounters, it was midfield star Asta, now 30 years old, who headed the lone goal of the game in the 12th minute past the now 32-year-old Lombardo in the Tjejer net to pick up where she left off way back at the very start of her career in 2014.

I think it was our giantkilling of Juves tjejer in only my fourth or fifth game in the Xpert Ladies 12 seasons that originally sparked off your tendency to call us things like "renowned Cup battlers" – although we seem to have gone out that season in the next (3rd) round, our worst result in my tenure to date! I thought it was just brilliant that 12 seasons on we managed the exact same result with the same player scoring the only goal past the same goalkeeper. Asta herself has captained the team for the first time this season in a Cup game or two, having been a complete rookie only a handful of games into her career the last time we met Juves. She didn't score again in Season 39, either, but has since added another 40 in over 200 further appearances.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Good call AE.

PM Pebble.

And from me.

[Hot Orange]

Holkham Forest had a terrible season, as evidenced by these DVs:

Sansom         37/9    1   [retiring]
Osodio         23/11  16

Pagadizabal    34/12   3   [two red-cross injuries]
Chapman        26/14  14
Bretherton     23/11  16
Grayson        20/8   14
Tully          19/4    3   [not used; P45 in the post]
McConnell      18/4   17

Parreira       34/13   8
Jeklin         32/15  11
Fogueira       29/13  13
Passanha       26/13  13
Fraser         24/10  13
Keane          23/10  14
Bignell        18/4    9   

van der Heyden 31/12  11
Juanele        25/10  12
Dalton         17/4   17

There are some very low numbers for ever-present players there. The biggest disappointments are Fraser and Keane. They both stalled last season and a second consecutive season of low DV suggests they're never going to be the players I hoped they would. I had to keep playing them to try to get their numbers up, meaning Bignell's development was sacrificed. It's all a bit of a mess, frankly.

The one success is McConnell, a late-season addition from the academy who managed to accrue DV at a healthy rate in the last half dozen games or so.

[Hot Orange]

And over at South Hams United, we were involved in a terrific four-way battle for promotion from Heineken Division 14. It took until we recorded our 17th win in our 21st game before promotion was assured.

[Various Artist]

Completely sympathise with the Human League DVs, HO – my Sandringham squad is littered with names who've stumbled into the pit marked "never going to be the players I hoped they would". Or was, as most of them have been sold on for whatever I could recoup for them whenever we've run disastrously low on finances.

A lot of it was discovering that DV didn't seem to be easy to come by in the lower tiers, so Holkham may have run into the same problem after relegation a season ago. It even feels like we hit the top flight at an unexpected and not particularly helpful point for us, though, where I've been fielding the latest in a never-ending series of transitional teams. (So to be fair, there may not have been a 'good' point.) Successive waves of veterans going over the hill and retiring, the occasional fire sale of decent prospects (Brough-Scott, Gordon-Strachan, Tristesse-Durera, Moon-Rysing, Morecambe-Wise, Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Armstrong-Miller) for emergency funds, and stuttering progress for the youngsters remaining mean I've almost never been able to establish one solid developing side.

Our one season in the top division has given the younger (and genuinely promising) members of my present squad a decent return on DV, but unfortunately the veterans are going to lose some skill and/or retire – and as can be seen below we've ended the Season 11 campaign in a pretty threadbare state:



Swan-Vestas is a classic case: on sky-high average form and 17 DV by midway through the season, but then averaged c. 9 form for the return half despite near-constant training – so inevitably lost a point and I just couldn't retrieve it.

Weiss-Würsse and Mitchell-Webb are the only ones left of the initial cohort of about eight 17/3s I brought in when I started the club; Camilla Armstrong-Miller was the latest to be flogged off only the other week. The two 19/5 keepers I bought at the same time are both still there, but I fear each will miss another jump this time around after middling progress across their careers.

The most recent sales and injuries and the impending exit of sole remaining founder member Windsor-Davies will leave me with just 11 fit outfield players, of whom a mere 9 will be improving, so we're still going to be struggling to field an XI let alone gel into a decent one. I'm just crossing fingers for a useful academy youth quickly, that the current younger members of the squad can step up next term, and that DV isn't too hard to come by back in Division 1. Now my remaining early purchases are maturing I won't buy any more veterans, so am hoping the 12 or 13 viable players who'll be left after the CR can finally form the bedrock of a better and more stable side over the coming seasons.

[Various Artist]

A second successive set of Division 4 opposition greeted Viking South Utsira as they arrived in Sweden to take on Gothenburg FC.

I'm getting thoroughly confused at the moment by my official teams' cup ties – which I've only just twigged is because there's two almost identical cross-border Scandinavian clashes going on simultaneously, in the Ultimate League Cup Round 2 and the Xpert Ladies Cup Round 4. Viking North Utsire played their first leg at IFK Göteborg on Friday, then the next day Viking South Utsira completed their win over Gothenburg FC.

In both instances my sides managed a 3-0 away win in the first leg, so VNU should be able to see out an aggregate victory with equal comfort next Friday. Thanks by the way Janik for the (reassuring?) heads-up on VSU's next opponents, once again, as I'd not looked at our fifth-round fixture yet.

[Sits]

At least Byoasse-Root, Darling-Budd and Jolly-Goodfellow are going to be fantastic players in time.

Edit: missed your VSU post...

[Kevin S]

Meanwhile I'm just getting confused about which thread and forum I'm in. This is the Jordan Peterson one, right?

[nmrfox]

Whoft Fluffopolis go mad and actually win a game, 3-1 against Tonder BK. We're going to get relegated, that's for sure, but getting a 1 in the W column makes it feel so much better. MoM performance from Jim Pickle, which is a nice coincidence as our dog Spud is often nicknamed Jim, as in "Jim In" since we adopted him, and pickle, cos he pickles round a lot, so he, the player that is, not the dog, was named in honour of him. Nice, as it's Spuds Gotcha day today, so celebrations all round.

[Etienne]

Someone named CaptainFlack has just applied to take over Steaua Bridge, after the board sacked jon/juan. An OTFer?

I am minded to accept whatever the provenance in order to keep Steaua alive, though I want to check with jon that he's not coming back imminently.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Captain Flack, Guzman to him.

[Kevin S]

Yeah, that's me.

[Kevin S]

I'll manage them as properly as I can, but will happily stand aside if Jon ever wants them back.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Yeah, that's me.

We know, huzaah.

[Antepli Ejderha]

I'll manage them as properly as I can, but will happily stand aside if Jon ever wants them back.

That's genuinely made my day. Welcome back and I promise not to ask you to join any other league.

Btw RebelRebel won the Human League with Great Ouse Town.

[Kevin S]

Haha, wonderful. Their second THL title.

[Antepli Ejderha]

Haha, wonderful. Their second THL title.

Foundations laid by your good self of course.

[Kevin S]

I'm in. Thanks Etienne. (Oh god, what have I done?!)