X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Jon]

Hi all,

Sorry, I've only just checked my pms. Apologies for not responding earlier. I'm not really in a position to give my teams the attention they deserve at the moment. Hopefully in the future I'll be back.

[Etienne]

Glad you're OK, Jon, and hope real life issues aren't bad ones.

I'd definitely be keen to keep Steaua Bridge alive until you are able to return.

[Sean of the Shed]

That's a shame Jon, but thanks for letting us know. I've inactivated you from Stella FC but should you wish to come back to the Heineken League at any time just let me know and I'll try and make a team available to you.

[Jon]

Many thanks to you both.

[Various Artist]

All the best Jon, it's not the same without you mate. Hope you're OK and can make it back to join us in X11-land again soon.

[Various Artist]

Yes I'd like to add my congrats to Noj.... Obviously Four Candles only really make an effort to win TotM during even-numbered months, as we think it's only fair to give others a crack, so we'll be aiming to stop him adding a fourth consecutive month...(winky thing)

Crikey, yes, you've hoovered up 7 of the last 10 months between the pair of you. Surely it's time some team who haven't won it for, oh, about a year got a look in...?

[Various Artist]

Etienne, I keep meaning to ask if you can use a league banner for the OTF, as we've never had one? I was asked to make a banner for the J4GL the other week so while I was in the groove tried knocking up a quick OTF one at the same time:

[SouthdownRebel]

Would VA Sports be interested in expanding their feminine logo repertoire?

[Etienne]

Thanks VA it looks great. I've never felt the lack of a banner but having a pretty one is good

[Antepli Ejderha]

MLX play offs already drawn, thanks SDR.

I've messaged the three Young Turks to advise them on what they need to do. Let's hope this post season runs smoothly.

[SouthdownRebel]

So the team name isn't ideal, but we can change that at the end of the season...

[Etienne]

God, was there no-one else available?

Welcome!

[Etienne]

We got no new managers, so I've started the OTF league (plus banner).

No restructure, but there are a few teams who might disappear before next season, so bear that in mind.

[Janik]

X11 Ladies Matchday 4 report.

Division 1a

Viking South Utsira	0 - 0	The Norfolk Broads


Division 4i

Immortal Angels 	2 - 2	Drakaina
Sharpe 51'			Petit 1'
Bryant 68'			Mourne 87'

Tartan Tawties FC	0 - 1	Coxy Ladies Wulpen
				Vandenbergh 81'


Division 5:16

SLB Femenino 		1 - 1	Erbil
Coruja 89'			James 83'


Division 5:20

Mean Girls 		0 - 0	Sockford Emollient


Division 5:21

Mawenzi 		1 - 0	Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
Hashmi 81'

Solent Sirens		1 - 4	Bethanys Binos
de Beauvoir (pen) 50'		Cullmann 53'
				Sales 58'
				Sahlstedt (pen) 69'
				McIntyre 94'


Division 5:28

Pakistan FC 		2 - 3	Menywod Maeshafn
Bandieri 50'			van Hijde 23'
Brodell 76'			Westerberg 37', 83'


Division 5:31

Cowgirls IF 		0 - 3	Csiki Girls
				McInns 1'
				Smet 60'
				Sheerin 92'


Division 6:33

LNWR Locomotive		2 - 1	Liverpool Ladies
Nixon 89'			Sáenz 72'
Elmassian 92'			Sáenz (sent off) 79'


Division 6:36

Ullapool Northern Star	0 - 0	Eastern Promise


Division 6:39

Tagalog Ladys 		0 - 4	Invisible Ladies
				Paul 33'
				Street 45'
				van der Kwast 60'
				Nádasdy 77'


Division 6:40

AC Gemelas 1903 	1 - 2	Witches of Chiswick
Burns 86'			Ota 47'
Nõmmela (sent off) 53'		Altstrand 60'


Division 6:53

Zeugma Dostluk Spor	2 - 1	Fight 2 Win
Bell 37'			Idemark 79'
Sales 82'


Division 6:56

Crvena Zvezda 		0 - 1	Dublin City WFC
				Kamide (pen) 14'

What games could possible bear the title of “The North Sea derby”? Well how about Viking South Utsira versus The Norfolk Broads.
Attempts to make this a ‘thing’ are going to need better fare than was served up at Ragnar Rock, though, as the sides almost completely cancelled each other out. Visitors Norfolk, resplendent in a Norwich City shirt circa 2013, had more of the ball, restricting Velvet Android’s side to just 42% possession. Chances were equally hard to come by. Totally absent in fact. However The Blood Eagles’ defences were solid, leading to a stalemate as Julie Alme had only one save to make.
Viking will hope for more when they raid up the rivers from the Norfolk coast in a few weeks time, but for now the point from this cagey encounter sees them drop a place from fourth to fifth in the Division 1a table.

Drakaina took on the side one place ahead of them as they travelled to Immortal Angels.
Sandrine Petit gave The Dragons the perfect start when she fired home from Amalia Merckx’s pass within the opening 60 seconds. Etienne’s side held that advantage to the interval, and deservedly so as they had clearly the better of the opening 45 minutes.
The Greeks continued to look the better side after the break, but got hit twice with sucker punches as the Angels scored on 51 and 68 minutes, two of just three attempts they would managed all match. As time ticked away it appeared Drakaina were falling to a pretty unlucky defeat, until the 87th minute in fact when Laria Sietaridis’ pass bisected the Immortal defence to set Fionulla Mourne charging through for the leveller.
Coxy Ladies Wulpen were also taking on opposition one spot higher, but seeing as The Waders began the day second in the standings their visit to Tartan Tawties FC was a top-of-the-table clash.
Wulpen had a decent amount of possession and the only chance of a tight opening half. By contrast they had to withstand a period of concerted pressure in the opening minutes of the second as three home chances came, and went. Buoyed by this Janik’s side probed for an opening of their own, and when that didn’t work Laetitia Vandenbergh simply wellied the ball in from 45 yards. That came on 81 minutes, not leaving enough time for the hosts to do anything about it.
The win pushed The Waders to the Division 4i summit, two points clear of the new second-placed side. Drakaina, meanwhile, remain level on points with the sides above them, but just below the relegation tide line on goal difference.

Two form teams went head to head when Erbil made the trip to the Lisbon to take on SLB Femenino.
Both came in with records showing two wins and a draw, but it was the hosts who took the game on as they forced Erbil’s 5-3-2 set-up on to the defensive. Fortunately with that much deep cover Erbil were well equipped to absorb pressure. They gave up some chances but not all that many, and a perfect away performance looked to be on the cards when Mellissa James fired the visitors ahead on 83 minutes.
That was Erbil’s only shot of the match, so it would be a little churlish to say SLB’s late equaliser on 89 minutes was undeserved. However the race doesn’t always go to the swiftest, so a thumbs up to Jdsx for trying something with a little more sleight of hand and so nearly pulling it off.
The draw saw both teams lose a place in the Division 5:16 standings, which means Erbil are now third. The good news was the leaders, Renegades Ladies, were also held so the gap to them remains unchanged at two points.

Once again the match confronting Sockford Emollient was really very similar to that of Erbil, the only tweak being hosts Mean Girls were second, ahead of The Gatorsharks on goal difference, rather than just behind.
Just like the above match, it was the non-OTF side who had most of the possession. However chances in this one were split more evenly, Foxy265’s side having two of the five created. Even so, it was a distinct advantage that Sockford ‘keeper Oianiyi John chose this one to put on a career best grade-15 performance as her clean sheet meant a point was heading back to Framleyshire.
That point did see Emollient slip a place to fourth in the Division 5:20 table, but their position is still good to strike at a leading side just two points ahead.

A clash of the titans awaits us in Division 5:21 as second-placed Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC were away to leaders Mawenzi.
With both sides boasting 100% records at the opening whistle, something had to give. A strong first half display from The Sea Spirits suggested it would be the hosts, but all three opportunities created were thwarted by Mawenzi’s very strong veteran ‘keeper. That, unfortunately, left SeanoftheShed’s side vulnerable to a sucker punch which is exactly what the hosts delivered when they headed home the only chance of the second-half on 81 minutes.
If that was the big game at the top, an equally crucial one at the bottom saw Solent Sirens hosting Bethanys Binos.
The Sirens began the day two points behind their visitors, and needing to both close that gap and also kick-start their league season. Optimism reigned on the Mayfield Park terraces when, following an open and equal first half, Constance Paine pointed to the spot and Simone de Beauvoir gave Solent a 50th minute lead. False dawn. Within three minutes the match was level again and five minutes after that the Binos were ahead.
It went from bad to worse as the visitors were award, and converted, their own penalty. They added a fourth in stoppage time to make the final score and extremely harsh and rather unreflective 4-1.
That defeat doesn’t quite leave Solent marooned at the bottom of the 5:21 table, but it does see them propping things up. They are four points from safety. Meanwhile Kanjeng stay second despite suffering their first dropped points of the campaign. They are now three points behind Mawenzi, but also three ahead of new third-placed team, the Binos.

It’s been an up-and-down start to the campaign for Menywod Maeshafn, with a win, a draw and a defeat. Would they be on the rise or fall at Pakistan FC?
The first half was definitely the dragon ascending as Maeshafn put together a commanding 45 minutes. Their display got it’s just desserts with two goals, the first a trademark Elodie van Hijde free-kick midway through the period and the second a 37th minute breakaway finished coolly by Ada Westerberg.
It might have been slightly too easy for IsThatcherDeadYet’s side as they took their feet of the gas after the break and let Pakistan back in it on 50 minutes. 9 minutes later Maeshafn suffered another blow when key midfielder van Hijde was helped from the field with a knock that will keep her out for 12 days, and when the hosts drew level on 76 minutes all the momentum was with them.
Maeshafn hadn’t actually managed a shot in the second period, but when they did finally create an opening after 83 minutes Westerberg was again icy as she rose majestically to head home. This time there would be no let-up, the Welsh side killing the game off in the remaining time for a win that lifts them to second in the Division 5:28 table.

Having registered a first win in week three, Csiki Girls were looking to back this up at Cowgirls IF.
It could have been a daunting encounter for Ad Hoc’s girls as the hosts were second in the standsings at kick-off, if they hadn’t put in the perfect start that is. But they did, Saoirse McInns racing clear to put the visitors ahead within second of the start. The rest of the opening half wasn’t as explosive, for either the team or McInns who was withdrawn as a precaution after just 19 minutes with a minor niggle.
The game really opened up after the break, with chances at both ends. The next goal was crucial, and it arrived on the stroke of the hour for... Csiki Girls, Floriane Smet firing home. Afton Sheerin completed a good day for the visitors by adding a third in stoppage time.
Just how good only became apparent on returning to the dressing rooms as The Csiki’s discovered Sheerin’s goal had propelled them to the summit of Division 5:31, a remarkable rise given they were sixth just two weeks ago!

[Janik]

LNWR Locomotive came into their game against Liverpool Ladies looking to bounce back from a frustrating loss to a rival the previous week.
The Steamers went about their business with resolve in the opening half, controlling possession and chances, but were unable to make the breakthrough. That pattern continued after the break as Liverpool continued to frustrate Viktor Boskovic’s side. Frustration would have turned to fear on 72 minutes when the visitors took the lead from a direct free-kick.
The scorer of that goal was Jade Sáenz, but she would go from hero to zero as just seven minutes later she committed a terrible foul and was shown a straight red card. As Sáenz departed she must have been crossing her fingers her indiscretion wouldn’t prove too costly for her team, but she was out of luck as Charlotte Nixon swirled home a Locomotive equaliser with a carbon copy of Sáenz’s goal on 89 minutes. In fact the visiting player would be doubly damned as two minutes into stoppage time Lisa Ryman put in a cross, the short numbered visiting defence chose to gamble and ignore young forward Sarin Elmassian and paid the price for this as Elmassian flick in her first career goal.
Once the pandemonium had died down at Mollington Street, LNWR were able to assess were the deserved (60% possession, 6-1 on chances) but dramatic (what else can we call goals in 89 and 92 minutes to turn a match on its head?) victory had left them. It had moved them up to third in Division 6:33 is what.

A first win had bred some confidence in Ullapool Northern Star. That newfound belief would be immediately tested as they welcomed 100% visitors Eastern Promise to Minchview.
Northern Star were competitive in the game, having their fair share of possession, but couldn’t unpick the visitors defence. In fact Delicatemoth’s side would go the whole 90 minutes without a shot. That wasn’t true of Eastern Promise as the visitors created a few opportunities despite the excellent performance of Ullapool centre-back and man-of-the-match Ninorta Kha. However none of these chances were converted as the Scots picked up a result against a leading side that was very, well, promising.
An outstanding result, make no bones about that, but not one that moves Northern Star up the Division 6:36 standings. No, they remain fifth, six points off the play-off spot. It’s still a building process, but one with better signs of being underway now.

A first win of the campaign in week three had broken the initial friction keeping Invisible Ladies stuck, but they would want to be backing that up at Tagalog Ladys to get the season really going.
Hence the exuberant celebrations when Elly Björkgren fired home on 14 minutes. Premature ones it turned out as Will Taykabribe wasn’t happy. Everyone was a little more cautious on 33 minutes, but Chelsea Paul’s header stood as did Linette Street’s shot on the stroke of half-time.
The See-Throughs were on top now, but they were not totally bossing the game as Tagalog were also having chances. The key difference between the sides being that Invisible ‘keeper Nadine Hanley was seeing these off, whilst Pebblethefish’s players were giving the home stopper no chance. The next two to put it way out of her reach were Alva van der Kwast on 60 minutes and Beáta Nádasdy on 77.
4-0 was arguably a little flattering for The See-Throughs, but also spoke of good efficiency and composure when presented with a chance. The win lifted them just one place up the Division 6:40 table to fifth, swapping places with their vanquished foe, but was worth rather more in psychological impact. It also shrunk the gap on the leaders of this section to three points.

A good win from the previous week was the springboard for Witches of Chiswick as they visited AC Gemelas 1903.
The first half was unremarkable, with the first serious action of the game coming in the 47th minute. This consisted of The Bewitched taking the lead, Terumi Ota being picked out by Sarah Altstrand’s free-kick and steering home. Six minutes later Wiblflibl’s side were handed a man advantage when the hosts Piia Nõmmela talked herself into a straight red card.
Chiswick moved further ahead on the hour. Altstrand was fouled heavily enough to leave her limping, but stayed on the field to exact immediate revenge with a perfect strike. Normally two up against a team a player short would be a cruise, but in this one The Bewitched eased back a little too much and ended up making the last few minutes unnecessarily fraught as they conceded a goal to the 10 men.
There wouldn’t be an equaliser though, Chiswick claiming the three points which lifted them into second spot in Division 6:40. The Bewitched are level on points with third and three points adrift of leaders Papperhavna.

Three wins out of three for Zeugma Dostluk Spor. One point from three games for Fight 2 Win. A straightforward home win then? No siree.
It started simply enough for Zeugma with a first half in which they had marginally less than half the ball, but created and converted the only chance on 37 minutes as Stacey Bell was left unmarked from a corner so shrugged her shoulders and headed into the gapping net.
The match began to deviate from the expected pattern early in the second-half when Fight had the ball in the Zeugma net, only to see it disallowed. From this point on it was the visitors who were on top, a period that culminated in a 79th minute equaliser. However just when it looked like Antepli Ejderha’s were going to drop points unexpectedly, Bell found a defence piercing through ball that set Juliana Sales clear to net an 82nd minute winner. And therein lies the difference between a team at the top and one at the bottom.
ZDS remain perched on the highest branch of the Division 6:53 tree, naturally enough as they are the only side in it with a 100% record. They and AE is not the only OTFer around in this section though because as of today SouthdownRebel is back in the Ladies League! He has taken over a team named after a deeply misogynistic TV franchise, presumably with the intent to sanitise them as soon as possible. We will call them GGW FC for now.

So far so good for Dublin City WFC ahead of their trip to Belgrade to play Crvena Zvezda.
Unlike a certain idiotic BBC pundit by the name of Lawrenson, who opinioned in 2000 after Leicester had drawn “Crvena Zvezda” in the UEFA Cup that Leicester would win easily because he hadn’t heard of the opposition so they must be nobodies, we know that ‘Crvena’ translates as ‘Red’ and ‘Zvezda’ as ‘Star’ and that the club the X11 side is named after has a Men’s European Cup in their history.
The X11 Ladies outfit is only tangentially related to Robert Prosinečki et al, of course. They were also mid-table compared to Dublin’s league leadership coming into this game. The status of the two sides seemed evident initially as Mortal Joe’s girls went ahead on 14 minutes when Wanda Rinn pointed to the spot and Ai Kamide said ‘thank you’. However once ahead Dublin appeared to settle for what they had, a risky but ultimately successful strategy as Crvena Zvezda couldn’t force any of their four chances past Patrícia Inácio.
The Dubs keep up their 100% start in Division 6:56, and with it the leadership of the section. They are currently five points clear of the next best side, and are yet to as much as concede a goal in the league.

[SouthdownRebel]

God, was there no-one else available?

Welcome!

There were a few others, but when I saw the abject state of the squad I couldn't resist. Some might remember the original Angmering Park and midfielder Maura Corga who had graduated from the youth academy and left at the age of 29 having never played a match. This squad is in a similar ballpark.

[Janik]

And by taking over, you can clean up one name. It wouldn't be an effective method on it's own, but it's another contribution.

I wonder, if you were to email the admin and say what the name refers to, whether he might change it here and now?

[SouthdownRebel]

No harm in asking Janik, good suggestion. What's slightly odd is that's the name the team has always had, despite having several other managers in the past none has bothered to change it.

Update: message sent to Wayne

[nmrfox]

Fanned and good luck in turning them around SdR.

[SouthdownRebel]

Response from Wayne re. changing the team name:

Hi, I think it´s very few members relating it to a exhibitionist show. As it´s not offending I think we can stick to the rules and change it at the end of the season.

Regards
wayne

Disappointing.

[Various Artist]

What games could possible bear the title of “The North Sea derby”? Well how about Viking South Utsira versus The Norfolk Broads.
Attempts to make this a ‘thing’ are going to need better fare than was served up at Ragnar Rock, though, as the sides almost completely cancelled each other out. Visitors Norfolk, resplendent in a Norwich City shirt circa 2013, had more of the ball, restricting Velvet Android’s side to just 42% possession. Chances were equally hard to come by. Totally absent in fact. However The Blood Eagles’ defences were solid, leading to a stalemate as Julie Alme had only one save to make.
Viking will hope for more when they raid up the rivers from the Norfolk coast in a few weeks time, but for now the point from this cagey encounter sees them drop a place from fourth to fifth in the Division 1a table.

Thanks for the latest coverage Janik. I can report that life in Division 1 is bloody tough, thus far, although happily for me my division's been so competitive to date everyone's been taking points off each other, so we're still right in the midtable mix right now.

The Broads are managed by a fellow Canary, which is nice. As VSU were missing both our two eldest and best defenders due to injury and had to field one 20-year-old plus 23-year-old all-rounder midfielder Kristin Hovland in defence (the latter to drag our average age up to something acceptable, compared with playing both 20-year-olds together), we were a little backward in coming forward – but for some reason so were they. They only fielded one up front, and she got injured rather badly too and was replaced by a junior colleague, so we both ended up looking a little feeble. So it was a thorough bore draw with just one chance – to them – all game... which I'll take, considering.

[Various Artist]

Delighted you like the OTF banner Etienne. I didn't know if you'd seen my post here until I looked at the league earlier and found the new season had been drawn up with it in place! Quite disconcerting when one isn't used to seeing one in that league, but I hope everyone gets accustomed to it.

Would VA Sports be interested in expanding their feminine logo repertoire?

Ahh, this perplexed me for a minute until I caught up with the posts above and divined you must be back in the Xpert Ladies SdR. Will have to 'find and fan', welcome back. A shame to hear you've not persuaded Wayne to change the name for you though.

What kind of thing do you have in mind for your "feminine logo"?

[Various Artist]

Aha! Things make sense now. I saw earlier on I'd mystifyingly gained GirlsGoneWild FC as a new supporter, but didn't even follow the link back to their club page as I didn't want anything to do with them, recalling they'd already been dismissively mentioned – or, more to the point, redacted – in Janik's roundups this season as they're in the same division as Zeugma Dostluk. (I occasionally garner new fans at either Viking side for no apparent reason, some of whom I can see no incentive to support in return, so this wasn't quite as odd as it might seem taken as a one-off.) I've just twigged though that one 'SouthdownRebel' is the new hand on the tiller at GGW. Great stuff.


Edit:

What's slightly odd is that's the name the team has always had, despite having several other managers in the past none has bothered to change it.

And blimey, you weren't kidding – they've been called that ever since their formation in January 2006, a whopping 43 seasons ago. Impressively, I see their previous manager contrived to get sacked then reinstated by the club no fewer than eight times throughout his three and a half years in charge. Presumably the ninth time was where the board finally lost patience.

[SouthdownRebel]

Ahh, this perplexed me for a minute until I caught up with the posts above and divined you must be back in the Xpert Ladies SdR. Will have to 'find and fan', welcome back. A shame to hear you've not persuaded Wayne to change the name for you though.

What kind of thing do you have in mind for your "feminine logo"?

Aha! Things make sense now. I saw earlier on I'd mystifyingly gained GirlsGoneWild FC as a new supporter, but didn't even follow the link back to their club page as I didn't want anything to do with them, recalling they'd already been dismissively mentioned – or, more to the point, redacted – in Janik's roundups this season as they're in the same division as Zeugma Dostluk. (I occasionally garner new fans at either Viking side for no apparent reason, some of whom I can see no incentive to support in return, so this wasn't quite as odd as it might seem taken as a one-off.) I've just twigged though that one 'SouthdownRebel' is the new hand on the tiller at GGW. Great stuff.


Edit: And blimey, you weren't kidding – they've been called that ever since their formation in January 2006, a whopping 43 seasons ago. Impressively, I see their previous manager contrived to get sacked then reinstated by the club no fewer than eight times throughout his three and a half years in charge. Presumably the ninth time was where the board finally lost patience.

Yes, I like to be cryptic from time to time VA, keeps you on your toes <winky>. I'd assumed that the regular sackings and returns were part of the official league process whereby phantom managers are added to prevent the teams from being deleted. However, on seeing your post I looked again and those events aren't regularly spaced out like you'd expect season updates to be, so that is odd indeed. Anyway, they've effectively been rudderless for years and the squad has been drained of all ability in that period - creating exactly the kind of "can't possibly make it worse" scenario that I do quite enjoy and where I get to start from scratch.

In terms of logo, the new team name be a Wind-in-the-Willows-hat-tip Riverbankers WFC and the stadium will be the Bankside Ground. All the players will be named after rivers and will all (of course) alliterate. A quick Google for inspiration suggests that there's an overwhelming trend among logos of a river as an S or inverted S meandering into the distance. Not a great fan of that - and the team name would suggest something with a side-on aspect from the banks anyway. Something more akin to this in style, though the cityscape would have to be replaced and I'm easy on the fonts. Any thoughts?



Edit: can't work out how to resize this image using the BBcode, and CBA to fire up photoshop and host it myself. Anyone know how to do it? The width and height attributes don't seem to work, only the URL shows in the preview when I add these.

[Various Artist]

BBcode image resizing doesn't work on this iteration of the boards, for some reason, which is why you'll stumble across threads clogged with truly massive images here and there. We keep being assured by our benevolent overlord up on Snake Mountain (Plissken, not Skeletor) that the coming v.5 or whatever it is will sort that out.

My best guess re your predecessor at GGW/Riverbankers is that he kept letting his quota run low, getting automatically sacked whenever it ran out then buying more and retaking the reins for another few months. However, I'm not sure the dates add up on that even, so heaven knows. The 'phantom managers' phenomenon can be discounted as it wouldn't be the same name over and over again – it would be a long series of different names, the unquiet ghosts of ex-users of the game temporarily raised at random to see the club through season updates, then released to wander the echoing void once more until another team requires them. Perhaps the last guy was just really fickle and could never make a decision to quit stick.

Anyway, meanwhile I'll put my mind to that logo! I like the new ID and naming scheme. Can I take it the nice new kits are your own creation and the club's permanent colours to be?