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X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

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    X11 Ladies League, Matchday 2 report.


    Code:
    Division 1a
    
    Viking South Utsira	0 - 1	Just wait
    				Balae 69'
    
    Division 4i
    
    Coxy Ladies Wulpen	0 - 0	Gazzas Gals
    
    Kongo BK 		1 - 1	Drakaina
    Drake 46'			Winter 2'
    
    
    Division 5:16
    
    Erbil			1 - 1	Shinjuku Nadeshiko
    Hinton 57'			Oishi 13'
    				Amagawa (sent off) 74'
    
    
    Division 5:20
    
    Sockford Emollient	0 - 2	Cleckheaton Athletic
    				Moungue 30'
    				Musgrove 63'
    
    
    Division 5:21
    
    Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC	3 - 0	Flick of the Wrist
    Azeite 8'
    Willockx 34'
    Dalmiya 46'
    
    Solent Sirens		1 - 1	Belle Ends
    Hyeong 42'			Laurence (pen) 1'
    
    
    Division 5:28
    
    Menywod Maeshafn	1 - 0	Provokator FC
    Westerberg 5'
    
    
    Division 5:31
    
    Csiki Girls		1 - 1	Lagermax
    Clevan 26'			Kirchner 58'
    
    
    Division 6:33
    
    Somerset Strike 	0 - 1	LNWR Locomotive
    				Philipsson 5'
    
    
    Division 6:36
    
    Ullapool Northern Star	1 - 5	kirkburton Juniors
    Andersson 45'			Lever 9'
    				Steck (O.G.) 13'
    				Bohm 36'
    				Spong 79', 85'
    
    
    Division 6:39
    
    Aveley Ladies F.C 	1 - 0	Invisible Ladies
    Hagberg 87'
    
    
    Division 6:40
    
    Papperhavna 		2 - 0	Witches of Chiswick
    Haug 12'
    Ramm 81'
    
    
    Division 6:53
    
    Zeugma Dostluk Spor	5 - 0	GGW FC
    Fetele 4'
    Sales 14'
    Raquel Pedroso 17'
    Campos 26'
    Heatley 73'
    
    
    Division 6:56
    
    Dublin City WFC		1 - 0	Real Persian CF
    Tyrell 16'
    How are Viking South Utsira adapting to the rarefied air in Division 1a. Well let’s Just wait and see, shall we.
    The visitors to Ragnar Rock were one of the best teams on paper ever to arrive on these weather blasted Islands. But Blood Eagles don’t intimidate easily. Velvet Android’s team put up a performance that matched their foes in possession and shaded them in chances, three to two. The only statistical category that they didn’t lead in was the key one – goals. Just wait managed with a little over 20 minutes to play, Viking’s all shots all foundered on the grade 23(!) performance of the visiting ‘keeper.
    The three points picked up to date has VSU third in the early standings, but level on points with second. Their conquerors are top, the only side with a 100% record.

    Coxy Ladies Wulpen were looking to back up an opening away win as they hosted Gazzas Gals.
    The first half at the Curlew’s Nest had limited goalmouth action, with just to chances for The Waders all 45 minutes. However that was extravagance compared to the second, which completely bored the home crowd as neither side even managed a speculative shot from 35 yards!
    Thankfully there was a little more excitement during Drakaina’s visit to Kongo BK.
    It took less than 120 seconds for a goal to be scored, in fact. It came from The Dragons, Grace Winter firing home from close range after good work by Maria Gudlandur.
    Etienne’s side retained the lead until half-time, but were pegged back very soon after the interval. In fact this goal was even closer to the whilst starting play than Winter’s strike. The Greeks reacted well to being pegged back, creating all the chances to occur in the remainder of the match. But they couldn’t convert either, so it finished all square.
    The initial Division 4i standings shows Coxy Ladies in fourth spot with 4 points and Drakaina in sixth with 1.

    Division 5:16 has been the one to watch for wild matches so far this season. Erbil were involved in a 6-3 on the opening week and week two went one better with a 10-goal thriller (6-4). The good news for your report writer is that that wasn’t Jdsx’s team’s match against Shinjuku Nadeshiko.
    Not that the Erbil Arena crowd lacked for incident. The first one of note was a goal against the run of play for the visitors on 13 minutes. It would prove to be there only shot of the match. Following that set-back, Erbil got a strangehold of possession, but were struggling to create clear cut openings, or indeed openings at all and managed just one unsuccessful attempt before the break.
    The pattern was much the same after the interval, but with one key difference – Erbil’s first attempt of the half, on 57 minutes, resulted in Caroline Hinton equalising. Harmony Lister also found the target with twenty minutes to play, but her effort was ruled out. A few minutes later Warren Peace made a make-up call as he showed Nadeshiko’s Miho Amagawa a straight red card. However the Man advantage was something Erbil couldn’t make the most of, the match ending as a draw.
    That point saw Erbil in second place in the nascent ladder.

    Like Erbil, Sockford Emollient had won their opening game following promotion though The Gatorsharks did so in rather less helter-skelter fashion. Foxy265’s side welcomed Cleckheaton Athletic to John Spencer Street as they looked to make it two from two.
    Sockford started promisingly enough, created a number of chances before half-time. However they sat down to their half-time cuppas in arrears as Cleckheaton’s only shot of the opening half registered.
    No mater said The Gatorsharks, we just keep going, keep doing the right things and the result will come. Well... what came was a carbon copy of the opening 45 minutes as the Framleyshire side made all the running, but were then caught out by the visitors only shot of the half to lose 2-0. Sockford ‘keeper Oianiyi John looked absolutely crestfallen at the final whistle.
    Performances like this won’t often lead to defeats, meaning if Sockford can keep playing like this they will surely advance far above their current sixth place in Division 5:20.

    Another looking to back up an opening win, in this case from an OTF derby, were Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC who welcomed Flick of the Wrist to Merapi-Kraton-South Sea.
    It didn’t take the Sea Spirits long to go in front, Leila Azeite blasting home a direct free-kick after only 8 minutes. Another Azeite set piece made it two on 34 minutes, though on this occasion she only provided the set-up and it was Jennifer Willockx who applied the finishing touch.
    At this point things were going swimmingly for the Islanders. However just two minutes later they suffered a blow when ‘keeper Kacey Rust went down and signalled she had to be subbed. Losing a ‘keeper is often a real handicap but the good news for Kanjeng boss SeanoftheShed was that veteran and club legend Eleonor Brusgård was on the bench, ready and only one skill bar behind current first-choice Rust (who will be out for 8 days after her knock), even now.
    With Brusgård installed and emitting calm, The Sea Goddesses continued their merry way, Diksha Dalmiya making it three seconds after the restart. At which point it was clear Kanjeng had won, sub ‘keeper or no sub ‘keeper.
    Kanjeng’s week 1 victims, Solent Sirens, were looking to get their campaign properly underway when they hosted Belle Ends.
    The match didn’t get off to an auspicious start as far as Andrew7610’s team were concerned. In fact it could hardly have got up to a less favourable opening as referee Irre Levant awarded the visitors a penalty seconds in, which they despatched to take the lead.
    Solent then showed some of the fighting spirit that saw them bounce back to this league with immediate promotion last season as they created chances throughout the first half despite having much less of the ball. The last of these, three minutes before the break, was converted by Jin-Ae Hyeong who raced clear of the Belle Ends defence to slot home.
    The match calmed down rather in the second half, with only one more half-chance in the later 45. That wasn’t converted leaving the final score at 1-1 and Solent in seventh place in the early Division 5:21 standings, with one point to date. Kanjeng, by contrast are top, one of two sides still boasting a 100% record in their league.

    Ugh. The clean up in the Ladies League has been reasonably successful, but it’s an old saw that eternal vigilance is required to maintain a free and fair environment. And I’m far from convinced the powers that be in the Ladies league have the will for that. For an example of why, see Menywod Maeshafn’s latest opponent, the sadly corrupted former Hammer Throwers now operating as Provokator FC.
    The name alone gives an indication of the problem – the twat behind this side would love to be confronted over them, I’m sure. Tricky. For now, the only answer is to grind them into the dust, so that he might get bored and f*ck off. Congratulations there to IsThatcherDeadYet and his side for their 1-0 win, courtesy of Ada Westerberg’s 5th minute long ranger.
    Now this one is out of the way, it’s back to trying to enjoy the league. Maeshafn’s position is good, which will help – they currently sit second in Division 5:28, level on points with the leaders.

    The first league visitors to A kertem this season following Csiki Girls latest promotion were Lagermax.
    The first half was an intensely contested affair, with just a single chance in the 45 minutes. That fell to Ellie Clevan midway through the half, and she converted it clinically. However Ad Hoc’s side were forced on to the defensive after the break and cracked once, Lagermax equalising on 58 minutes.
    With no further goals it was two from two for the Csiki’s in their latest assault on Division 5:31. That has them in sixth place in the early standings. A win soon could be the catalyst the Csiki’s need to push themselves up to the table.
    Last edited by Janik; 31-03-2018, 13:21.

    Comment


      After a goalless draw in their opening game, LNWR Locomotive went looking to open their account for the season at Somerset Strike.
      It didn’t take long for them to do so, just five minutes elapsing before Diana Philipsson turned in Charlotte Nixon’s free-kick to give The Steamers the lead. Locomotive got a head of steam up after that and were battering on the Somerset door for the rest of the 90 minutes, but somehow it would never sit quite right for Viktor Boskovic’s side. That put them at risk of a sucker punch. Strike created just one chance over the course of the game, but even so there must have been significant relief on the LNWR bench when it was dealt with.
      1-0 then, and four points from the opening two games. That puts The Steamers third in the Division 6:33 standings, level on points with the leaders.

      It looks like the rebuilding job on the Ullapool Northern Star squad after seasons of neglect is going to be a long one. Admittedly kirkburton Juniors are a tough side to play against (Judeydudey’s charges were in Division 4 two seasons ago and last at this level 9 back), but the final score of this match was pretty one-sided nonetheless.
      I’m not sure if it makes things better or worse that the 1-5 result was completely unreflective of the game that created it! Delicatemoth’s side actually had more chances, 8 to 6, but found visiting ‘keeper Trude Keller in inspired form and their own stopper, Yiwar Atooraya, playing rather less sparklingly. An own goal from Beatrice Steck on 13 minutes didn’t help (that made it 0-2), as Pernilla Andersson’s 45th minute strike proved just a consolation.
      The scale of the manager’s task was emphasised by where her charges currently sit – bottom of Division 6:36, with no points and a -7 GD.

      Invisible Ladies are further along their squad development curve than Ullapool, but are also struggling this term after their visit to Aveley Ladies F.C.
      The Essex girls dominated this one from the first whistle, raining shot after shot in on Nadine Hanley’s goal. However the See-Throughs’ keeper was on one of those seemingly unbeatable days as she also repelled each chance. Particularly when the one time she was unable to stop the shot, in the 16th minute, ref Manuel Ficu rode to the rescue. The end of the game was rapidly approaching, and the hosts were getting increasingly frantic when one last opportunity came their way in the 87th minute, and deflatingly for Pebblethefish’s side this one even Hanley couldn’t stop.
      Invisible were not totally that in the match, they did manage two shots of their own, but even their most one-eyed fans would have to accept the better team won this match. It leaves The See-Throughs pointless and seventh in the young Division 6:39 table.

      Two sides with opening day wins clashed when Witches of Chiswick travelled to Papperhavna.
      The Bewitched’s chances of making it two from two look poor in the opening minutes as Papperhavna dominated possession and took an early lead. That pattern wouldn’t change much from then on either, though a strong rearguard action led by a grade 17 display from skipper Sarah Allstrand kept too many shots from raining in on young Chiswick ‘keeper Miyuki Kurihawa.
      However Allstrand and co couldn’t keep Kurihawa completely protected given the pressure the Witches backline was under, and that eventually told when the hosts made it two on 81 minutes.
      Defeat saw Wiblflibl’s side drop a place to fourth in the Division 6:40 standings. They will hope for a better result when they take on another 100% team, Rotnäset BK, this week.

      Zeugma Dostluk Spor’s second match pitched them up against an opponent named after a deeply nasty and sexist entertainment franchise which I’m not going to name, so let’s call them GGW FC.
      Their manager is a complete flake, which isn’t particularly surprising given his graceless club name. He has been sacked by the club on no less than eight occasions and then resumed the role, and is well on course for a ninth dismissal when Zeugma ran into him (i.e he has been missing since 28th Feb). That heavily favoured Antepli Ejderha, whose side made the most of it by running up the score.
      Asabe Fetele got the first on 4 minutes, nodding home a corner. Juliana Sales made it two on 14 with a breakaway and Ana Raquel Pedroso headed a third after 17.
      Another corner was nodded home by Penelope Campos after 26 minutes after which Zeugma slowed down a little with just a 73rd minute long-ranger from Ashley Heatley subsequently added.
      Two wins from two, eight scored and none conceded puts Zeugma top of the tree in Division 6:53 at this stage.

      Opening days wins for both Dublin City WFC and Real Persian CF set things up nicely for the two’s clash at Phoenix Park.
      The game was an open affair, as befitted two confident sides. One player who might have been expected to struggle to keep with the fast pace of play was Rita Cruz, as she picked up a minor knock after 5 minutes but insisted on playing through it. She also found herself with an assist after 16 minutes, though truth be told the goal was more scorer Nancy Tyrell’s work, Cruz feeding her the ball in midfield and Tyrell advancing ten yards before letting fly and nearly bursting the net.
      At the time that goal had seemed likely to merely be the first of the day. However despite chances at both ends, neither side could add to it so it turned out to be the winner. It was a victory that pushed Mortal Joe’s side up to second in the Division 6:56 table.

      Comment


        Relegation, as predicted, from the OTF League. Lost out on being the top scorers as well. It was fun while it lasted and got some ok development values for the season.

        I think I've proved that playing very offensive works well at home but not so much away, those were my tactics for every match and hence the huge disparity in our records. Ho hum indeed.

        Comment


          Our unbeaten season was only just enough.

          Mind you, in my official league, the Ayresome Angels are mathematically out of the promotion race with a game to go (ie they can't finish higher than 3rd) despite an unbeaten season. W5 D8 L0 is their slightly implausible record.

          Comment


            Originally posted by Etienne View Post
            Our unbeaten season was only just enough.

            Mind you, in my official league, the Ayresome Angels are mathematically out of the promotion race with a game to go (ie they can't finish higher than 3rd) despite an unbeaten season. W5 D8 L0 is their slightly implausible record.
            Congratulations to the Dragons, your radical policy a few seasons ago has really paid off.

            Comment


              My suspicion that our three promotion rivals would win proved to be correct. Which makes it just as well that we managed to win our game and win the division on goal difference, only one point ahead of fourth. Phew!

              Comment


                Originally posted by Antepli Ejderha View Post
                Relegation, as predicted, from the OTF League. Lost out on being the top scorers as well. It was fun while it lasted and got some ok development values for the season.

                I think I've proved that playing very offensive works well at home but not so much away, those were my tactics for every match and hence the huge disparity in our records. Ho hum indeed.
                Turds tend to play offensively as well. Our games do tend to be eventful. See you next season, and Guzman as they used to say around here.

                Comment


                  They still do, and a full-blown Guzman to Etienne for an enthralling OTF title, with a similarly whopping Guzman to SDR.

                  Comment


                    So anyway, Berkshire Swine's DVs after one of the least whelming seasons on record:

                    van Rijswijck 25/13 - 17

                    Tondursvik 35/11 - 3 RET*
                    Nordnes 34/14 - 8 RET
                    El Koli 30/14 - 13
                    Hunter 26/14 - 14
                    Krusdam 22/10 - 15
                    Madonna 18/5 - 18

                    Kapusuz 34/13 - 9
                    Costa 32/14 - 12
                    Purperhart 30/13 - 13
                    McDougald 26/13 - 14
                    Newton 23/11 - 15
                    Carreto 20/8 - 17
                    Edilson 17/4 - 17

                    Alkuaz 19/6 - 16
                    [Moldovita 18/4 - 2 Filler]
                    Onderdonk 17/4 - 17

                    Squad value 74.4m
                    Funds 116k

                    Could easily get five or less jumps out of that. Kapusuz needs to stay at 13 as I won't be able to afford an upgrade if I bolster the defence. And I can't afford to bolster the defence...

                    *sacked the old plodder, thus preserving him forever in the Greatest 11.

                    Comment


                      A masterclass in promotion avoidance from die Ambosse:

                      Comment


                        With apologies from the Kneebiters. I don't think that our performance this season deserves promotion, but them's the breaks.

                        Comment


                          Er, so I'd really rather not see Steaua Bridge vanish into the ether. Is Jon really finished with them?

                          Comment


                            Four Candles's DVs are considerably less whelming even than Sits's (surely too many s's there...), so I'm not even going to post them. It felt like this season overall was so much worse than last season, but actually we've got an almost identical record, 'WDL' and points-wise. But last season we were two points off a promotion spot, this season it was ten points. I think the fans might be calling for the manager's resignation soon....

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by Kevin S View Post
                              Er, so I'd really rather not see Steaua Bridge vanish into the ether. Is Jon really finished with them?
                              *Prepares suite for potential press conference*

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Kevin S View Post
                                Er, so I'd really rather not see Steaua Bridge vanish into the ether. Is Jon really finished with them?
                                <massive presumption> So how does this work then? Do you want to return to GOT and I move to Steaua, or do you want to take over from Jon? </massive presumption>

                                Comment


                                  I have sent Jon a pm. It looks like Phoebe and Rob M are on the cusp too.

                                  Comment


                                    Kevin knows we'd welcome him back with open arms but I assume he's offering to take temporary charge while the season update ran.

                                    Comment


                                      Aww really? Well Kevin knows I'm miserable now.

                                      Comment


                                        Applause for that pun Gawpus. Is Jon not still nominally in charge at Steaua, though? If so, they're not going to disappear when the league update is run.

                                        He's still around on the boards, isn't he? Can we get hold of him and ask him what his intentions are for Steaua and Stella FC? Or (reading back what's written above) is that what you meant Etienne, i.e. an off-game PM? Either way, I'd love to see him come back to his teams because he's got some great history there and I'm missing seeing him in the game and on this thread.


                                        Bravo again anyway Etienne on what was indeed an enthralling title win, and equal commiserations to Sean for being pipped at the post just when the Dandies* looked to have the Dragons overhauled on the line.

                                        (* despite having what looked to be their 'weakest' squad in living memory as a 'handicap', I should definitely add)
                                        Last edited by Various Artist; 27-03-2018, 22:37.

                                        Comment


                                          Yeah, Jon staying on would be the best outcome, but, y'know, pun opportunity...

                                          Oh, and congrats on the title too, Etienne - totally forgot to mention that in my hurry to forget the entire season.

                                          Comment


                                            Heh, yeah I think I'd just try to sort a team out. I do pine for the OTF league from time to time, but I don't think the game works for me ultimately. If the teams will soldier on, then that's fine.

                                            Comment


                                              Vita Mortis' rather less-than-whelming DVs for the end of Season 48:

                                              Greenwood's is a thing of wonder, and should help him retain his position as (perhaps surprisingly) the highest-skilled player in the whole league. His new junior colleague Howard Stant has got off to an encouraging enough start, but outside of the goalkeeping department there's not a DV there I'm pleased with except for young Belgian midfielder Rene Vanden Borre, who's acquitted himself well so far.

                                              I have to hope another great new midfielder pops out of the academy soon after the CR though (current wait, handily, is 26 days and counting), since we're shortly losing Gregor Crompton – its very first product way back on December 19th 2013, four days after I joined Xpert Eleven and the OTF league.


                                              Gregor "The Ginger Mullet" Crompton was initially notable just for a.) being a suspiciously fine 18/5 arrival out of a brand new youth academy, and b.) for having a hairstyle older than he was. He went on though to play a remarkable 374 times out of a possible 382 total competitive games in club history over 18 seasons, prior to being benched for the last two matches of his career – after he scored (and assisted Hank Hulme's hat-trick goal) in the 4-1 win over Zeugma last week, I decided that should be his farewell appearance. Those were his only 'points' contributions of the season, though they did break what looked set to be a permanent tie with his now departed ever-present midfield colleague Seymour Buckley on 108 points apiece; Crompton instead finishes with 110, from 55 goals and 55 assists.

                                              With Arnor Gunnlaugsson quitting a season ago and Buckley having been sold last month, Gregor's retirement breaks the final playing link back to our debut campaign, Season 31. By extension he was also the last to have played for Mortis in Division 2, and to have come with the club all the way from the then-bottom tier to the league title; he in fact captained the side to the title on his 300th appearance. He never bettered the 11 points (6G, 5A) he managed that maiden term as an 18-year-old, but his first and only individual awards came just last season when his 7 assists (a personal best) and 10 points earned him two gold medals, in his tenth 10th top-flight campaign and seventeenth overall.

                                              With him being both younger and higher-skilled and playing considerably better than Buckley at the start of the present season, I remain frustrated that the 'wrong' one elected to retire as Crompton could still have done a good job for us for a while longer yet. Having to effectively write off both has clearly left us with something of a vacuum in experience, in midfield in particular. Our new senior player to be, Brynjar Snorrarsson, arrived some four months after Crompton during Season 32, whilst the next longest-serving member of the squad is Alexander Grey who signed nearly a year later again. (Which means he's only played two seasons outside the top division. I still tend to think of us as some sort of ingénues at this level, so this is slightly startling.) Next time out looks like being another 'transitional' season to go with this one. In the meantime, farewell Ginger Mullet, I'm going to miss you.
                                              Last edited by Various Artist; 28-03-2018, 14:49. Reason: Got some stats backwards

                                              Comment


                                                All these less-than-whelming DVs you chaps are humble-bragging about are miles ahead of Hornville's, which were my worst in I don't know how long. One of my good young midfielders had DV of 10 for crying out loud - no surprise he didn't gain a skill bar!

                                                Comment


                                                  Originally posted by SouthdownRebel View Post
                                                  All these less-than-whelming DVs you chaps are humble-bragging about are miles ahead of Hornville's, which were my worst in I don't know how long. One of my good young midfielders had DV of 10 for crying out loud - no surprise he didn't gain a skill bar!
                                                  Hideous Towns' CR makes me want to cry.

                                                  Comment


                                                    The Dragons was solid enough, but most noticeable for (Hallelujah, Hallelujah) Eugene Astle brushing off a DV of 6 and deciding not to retire or lose a skill bar.
                                                    We are totally skint - with just our prize money for the season - so have no way of buying an adequate replacement.

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