X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Etienne]

We bossed Philadelphia Fury, surprisingly. We have a very good record against them so maybe there is a bogey effect, because it looked very tight on paper.

We have a rubbish record against PuPi though.

Yesterday I encountered some Kune Kune pigs. I had been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

Good luck all you OTFers who've made it <sniff> to the last 8 of MLX.

Meanwhile I'm feeling a bit guilty about the Swine's spawny win over Saltney Drawers, which may well send them down.

Don't sweat it Sits - we're down. Even if we had won, we'd still have been six points away from staying up. We haven't scored in 9 games, so even though we look fairly decent on paper and have only conceded 13 in 15 games, we're doomed.

[SouthdownRebel]

Yesterday I encountered some Kune Kune pigs. I had been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

What I take from this video is that I can pronounce it any way I like. Even the Wikipedia page has two different phonetic notations.

Perhaps Sits needs to confirm his preference.

[Sits]

Like Clooney Clooney. But nobody's actually ever said it to me. What's the alternative?

[Various Artist]

I've always assumed "koon-eh koon-eh", not because I've ever heard it but from a general familiarity with Maori pronunciations due to having lived in NZ for a couple of years. That video sounds like bollocks to me.

Small but possible chance of us having 3 of the last 4, then.

Anyway, that went surprisingly well, didn't it? Great work everyone, it's almost like the good old days when we MLXers had the latter stages of the playoffs on lockdown.

Made up a bit for the rest of the week's results so far for me, as well. Caught up tonight with all 9 of my teams' results since Monday lunchtime, and they went 2-6-1 with most of the draws abject and the loss a 4-0 at home for Sandringham out of almost nowhere. The only other win was Mortis scraping past Banik on Monday evening, so ending the sequence with Underground beating Gotham 2-0 on Wednesday evening to make the MLX Championship semis was extremely welcome.

[SouthdownRebel]

That video sounds like bollocks to me.

Well, precisely.

[SouthdownRebel]

Stupid bloody game.

[Etienne]

It's an exciting OTF title race!

[Kevin S]

Bloke on a Norfolk farm said Koon Koon. But the Norfolk dialect and accent are a law unto themselves.

[Etienne]

Cooney Cooney was what I was told.

[Kevin S]

For example, we went camping in Bylaugh a couple of weeks ago. It rhymes with peeler.

[Various Artist]

Heh, ever been to Happisburgh or Garboldisham, Kev? And do you say Stiffkey the way it looks, or "Stewkey"?

Dialect aside, I imagine your farmer may not have been particularly conversant with Maori pronunciations anyway, for that matter...

[Kevin S]

Hazebro is one I know, but wasn't aware of Garblesum.

Here's a handy list:
http://www.norfolkdialect.com/villages.htm

[Various Artist]

It's an exciting OTF title race!

This, meanwhile. Late goals conceded by all three contenders yesterday, but the crucial thing was that while Mortis were three up at the time, and Hideous two up, the Dandies were only one up so got mugged for two points by Les Incos. Which has kept things bubbling very interestingly entering the last fortnight.

Over in MLX, it's only from reading Gary's roundup of the Championship QFs that I've remembered Gotham City were the defending league title-holders, until we put them out on Wednesday. Just as well I didn't realise that before our game, I'd probably have panicked otherwise and done something foolish tactically to lose it. Instead of which we just played the 11 men in front of us, rather than "the champions"... which worked out pretty well actually. The semi-final lineup is very intriguing – all four teams left look very closely matched so it's anyone's really. PuPi have the better historical record against ZaZm, but I imagine won't be underestimating them after the latter's dismissal of the Randoms, for starters. Underground meanwhile have lost all three competitive meetings with Caribbean Combo, including in the playoffs the season before last, which I guess gives them the best record of anyone against us, so we need to find something extra and fast if we're to stand a chance of reaching an all-OTF final.

[Various Artist]

Hazebro is one I know, but wasn't aware of Garblesum.
Here's a handy list:
http://www.norfolkdialect.com/villages.htm

Ah yes, that's a bewt-ful collection Kev. My grandad lives near Cley, Salle and Reepham for example – have known "Cly" all my life, but the latter two used to trip me up all the time. Not so much mispronouncing due how they read, but being unable to find them on a map as the word I had in my head ("Saul", "Reef'm") didn't match anywhere I could see...

[Sits]

Reminds me of some of the Cornish pronunciations: St. Austell = Snozzle; Launceston = Lawnston; Mousehole = Moozle.

Meanwhile - nice to see Kev sniffing around...

[Sits]

Serious squeaky bums in Division 2 of the Heineken with one round left to play. And none more squeaky that Gloucester Old Spots'. What a thought.

Starchaser have taken the Division, Real Rusholme are second, Royal Atlantis third and the Spots fourth. 2nd-4th looks like this:

Rusholme Pts 40 GD 27
Atlantis Pts 40 GD 22
Spots Pts 38 GD 14

Final Fixtures:

Rusholme: Starchaser (1) away
Atlantis: FC Charente Maritime (5) home
Spots: Fulham Palace (11) away

The Spots' shitty GD means that even if they beat Palace, a draw would be enough for Rusholme and Atlantis. The most OTF-friendly outcome is for Atlantis at least to draw, the Spots to win and Starchaser to keep their foot on the gas long enough to do the rest.

I'm not holding my breath.

[ad hoc]

Meanwhile in Division 3, Wouter's Lokomotiv Leiden easily beat second placed Csíki Sods to confirm the title. Fortunately for the Sods results elsewhere confirmed our promotion along with them. Further down the table wiblfibl's East of Ealing avoided relegation with a comfortable win.

[SouthdownRebel]

Squeaky bums also in D1. Hambledon have gone from happy to be clear of relegation to brink of promotion in the space of four games. Last night we beat the 3rd place team 1-0 to move above them, and the second placed team lost as well meaning we moved above them too.

So for the final round we are a point ahead and just need to match the result of either team to go up. The only problem - we're away to the division champions.

[Sean of the Shed]

Over in the Golden League the mid-point of the season has arrived, and the double header against bottom of the table zombies Fc.Metál could be vital for Not Bothered Buzzards. Having just won 1-0 away to our nearest rivals AFC Astra Giurgiu to open a 3 point gap, a favourable run of results over the next two weeks could see us with a comfortable 9 point lead over Astra before we meet again and set us up nicely to pursue some good DV for the players in the run in without the hindrance of fighting relegation at the same time.

[Sean of the Shed]

Also today the NBB youth academy finally threw up a new player, with 17/3 defender Alexander Muhlack arriving with jester, bulb, gobshiteyness, moody, hard shot and speed to his credit. The squad is quite large already, but if we are as comfortable as I hoped to be in the previous post then development might just be a possibility. If not then there is still time to sell him.

[Sits]

MLX spoiler:

[spoiler]There will be a couple of very disappointed OTFers after the MLX semis earlier. I'll just say, congratulations Sean and good luck in the final.[/spoiler]

[Janik]

X11 Ladies League matchday 13 report. Moving day, or simply the end of the affair?

Division 3d

FC MadKuts Cologne 	1 - 1	Viking South Utsira
Slöjdare 75'			B.Austrheim 29'


Division 4h

Coxy Ladies Wulpen	0 - 0	Drakaina


Division 4j

Witches of Chiswick	0 - 1	The Black Widows
				Harrington 12'

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC	2 - 1	San Francisco Wet Cats
Pailloux 69'			Leslie 42'
Kresovic 83'


Division 5:17

Miyagis Girls 		1 - 2	LNWR Locomotive
McManner 61'			Zakarian 45'
				Tashdjian 54'


Division 5:22

Solent Sirens		2 - 0	Rotnäset BK
Stieglecker 33'
Cruchaga 78'


Division 5:29

Yellow Black Brasov 	3 - 0	Dublin City Womens FC
Salillas 27'
Cãlimãnescu 56'
Stai 81'


Division 6:40

Invisible Ladies	4 - 2	Magic Ladies
Oven 20', 53', 67'		Bergh 34'
Carr 43'			Nelson 39'


Division 6:55

ZFK Nase Taksi 		0 - 0	Menywod Maeshafn


Division 6:62

FC Pink Lions 		0 - 4	Csiki Girls
				Morientes 3'
Mörk (sent off) 89'		Gränsmark 73'
				McInns 79', 84'

[Janik]

A mathematical chance of automatic promotion remained for Viking South Utsira prior to their visit to FC MadKuts Cologne.
The Blood Eagles started well enough to potentially maintain that outside hope, shading the first half in all categories; possession, chances and also the key one, goals, Birgit Austrheim striking after 29 minutes. However MadKuts also had something to play and something more substantial as, despite starting the day third in the table, they were actually fighting to keep away from relegation. They responded to their situation, putting together a better second half to peg The Blood Eagles back to all-square.
With Division 3d leaders Mighty Aphrodite winning, Velvet Android’s North Sea Islanders were confirmed in the play-off spot. However before they get to that they need avoid injuries/suspension/loss of form in a match against another side very much in the relegation battle.

Both ends of the table were in play for the Division 4h table were in play, as well as OTF bragging rights, as Coxy Ladies Wulpen hosted Drakaina.
The Waders knew they needed a win over their high flying opponents (well, what would one expect of Dragons?) to maintain a realistic shot of survival. However it was the visitors who had the first opportunity of the match on 18 minutes, only for Susanna Barry to shot straight at Inès Vlaarhuis. Wulpen’s first apparent opportunity arrived with six minutes to play of the first half, Eva van Sttenberghe threading a ball through to Moreen Mahony. Mahony finished, only to find the flag up. If it was offside, it was extremely narrowly so.
The tight affair continued after the break, with not even the introduction by Drakaina manager Etienne of former Wader Sandrine Petit, who scored in the first meeting of the sides this season, adding a spark. In fact there would again by just a solitary chance in the half. It came to Coxy Ladies in the 76th minute, but in truth it was little more than a glimmer of an opening as Zara Carey’s poked out a toe but sent it well wide.
So it finished goalless, which is no help to anyone. It leaves The Dragons fourth, albeit only a point behind leaders Q.P.R Ladies and second-placed FC Nee-Nee. However whilst they play Nee-Nee, Q.P.R play Wulpen and third-placed Tartan Tawties (ahead of The Dragons by +1 GD) face off with bottom side Kilwinning WFC. Will Coxy Ladies do Drakaina a favour by beating Q.P.R? That looks unlikely given that Janik’s side are officially down, as the draw left them seventh, three points adrift of safety. Three points is bridgeable, but not when the two sides The Waders can possibly leapfrog are playing each other. It ensures that Coxy Ladies can get past one, but never past both.

Witches of Chiswick, bottom and already relegated, against table toppers The Black Widows. That sounds like a mismatch, right?
Well, that would be underestimating the grit of Wilbflibl’s side. The Bewitched battled hard throughout, and deserved a draw from the day. However they didn’t get it, as an early Black Widows goal proved enough. The story of so many bottom versus top late season encounters on X11, that.
It was the last chance saloon for Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC, who started matchday 13 five points from safety. The side they had to beat to maintain their hoes of survival was San Francisco Wet Cats.
The first half saw SeanoftheShed’s Sea Spirits giving up possession but also threatening to catch the Wet Cats on the counter. However allowing the ball to be around their last third was also risky, and the strategy went wrong in the 42 minute as San Francisco edged in front from their first shot of the day.
A half-time chat urging the side to turn chances into goal was heeded (and headed) in the 69th minute when Adèle Pailloux rose for thump home a corner and give the Merapi-Kraton-South Sea faithful hope. They were on their feet again 14 minutes later when Pailloux went from scorer to provider as she picked up an unmarked Dejana Kresovic racing through, who kept her cool impressively to seal the win.
Unfortunately for The Sea Goddesses, the other result they needed didn’t drop exactly right, Attenborough Naturals winning at Dinner Ladies to ensure their survival. What Kanjeng really needed was a Dinner Ladies win as that would have left them two points from safety. As it is they stand three points and -9 GD behind Dinner Ladies, and with their last game being at Borgis Ladies, who are currently second but retain a realistic shot at the title, racking up the goals needed sounds unlikely. As for Chiswick, they wrap up against Attenborough Naturals in what is now a dead rubber.

[Janik]

There was still a vague chance of LNWR Locomotive exiting Division 5:17 either upwards or downwards prior to their visit to bottom side Miyagis Girls. Victory might, depending on other results, keep a door ajar for the play-offs or even automatic promotion, zones which stood four/five points distant, whilst defeat would mean a frantic scramble to the phones to see if the five point gap on the bottom three had been whittled away.
A strong first half performance by The Steamers looked like going unrewarded until Gayane Zakarian headed in a corner in the last minute of the half. That settled side down, Taleen Tashdjian heading an extremely similar second nine minutes into the second period. From there, given their control of the game, it should have been a gentle glide to the terminus. However one back for the hosts made the rest of the journey a little more fraught for manager Viktor Boskovic than it needed to be.
The Steamers got there in the end, putting any risk of relegation to bed. However other results did not go their way and the promotion connection had already departed.

Improving Solent Sirens had a must-win game at home to whipping boys Rotnäset BK as they looked to keep themselves above the drop line.
The Sirens saw large amounts of possession, but created few chances from that. As such Marlene Stieglecker’s disallowed early goal could have been a hindrance if Stieglecker herself hadn’t rectified the situation with another strike on 33 minutes. The second half continued in a similar fashion, Andrew7610’s side having two-thirds of the ball but not gaining a lot of openings. However once again they made the most of a rare sight of goal, Angela Cruchaga killing the game off with twelve minutes to play.
The one bit of bad news for The Sirens on the day was an 11-day injury suffered by Clarisse Schmitt that will keep her out of the final day. This is no minor matter, as the Division 5:22 table has closed up wildly in the past few weeks. Solent sit fourth, but are only two points clear of Big and Beautiful and one ahead of Belle Ends, and with a worse GD than either. And B&B face Rotnäset on the final day whilst Belle Ends take on already relegated ASOS Warriors; it is quite conceivable that a draw at second-place Mupparna will see Solent go down. However if Solent beat Mupparna, they will leapfrog them and potentially exposed their adversaries from a slide from second to sixth on the final day! That the play-offs are even a possibility is due to a collapse in form from Liverpool Girls, who have lost three of their last four to drop to third, level on points with Solent (though +5 GD ahead of the south coast outfit). Liverpool have the technically toughest game of the lost, against runaway champions Magnificent Girls. It promises to be an exciting finale.

Just get it over is the feeling around Dublin City Womens FC as their tough season continued with another defeat, this time at Yellow Black Brasov.
Dublin spent this game resolutely on the defensive as Brasov managed over 70% possession in both halves. They did keep their hosts down to only four attempts on goal due to their diligence. However three of them were converted with referee Justin Thyme taking pity on the Irish side in stoppage time to prevent the final total reaching four.
In ‘it never rains, but it pours’ news, Mortal Joe’s side also lost the nous and skill of veteran defender Coral Batty for 20 days after she went down in a heap just before the hour. The injury may not cost Batty a league appearance as she had already received a yellow that would have seen her suspended from the final game of the campaign, but it might harm her numbers in the change report/willingness to keep her career going.
Dublin will close their Division 5:29 chapter with a match against fellow relegated side Black Widow FC. A first win is still being sought...

A show for those into sorcery at The San Seethrough as Invisible Ladies took on Magic Ladies. It wasn’t prestidigitation for its own sake though; the result had significance for the promotion hopes of Pebblethefish’s charges. With the top two meeting elsewhere, Invisible knew they could clamber back into the play-offs with a win.
The hosts got off to a decent start, Assina Oven firing them ahead on 20 minutes. However this was just the prelude for an extremely open first half, with chances at both ends. Magic Ladies took advantage to strike twice, on 34 and 39 minutes, to turn the match on its head, only for Charlene Carr to restore parity at the break with a 43 minute effort.
There was less sleight-of-hand after the break as Invisible took clear control of proceedings, with Oven at the centre of it. She showed she was on hot form with her second of the day on 53 minutes to restored The See-Throughs lead, and then was really cooking as she completed her hattrick after 67 minutes. With that Magic were toast.
The news came through after the game that Spandex FC had beaten Girls Aloud. It was a result that left Spandex top of Division 6:40, three points and +7 GD ahead of The See-Throughs, who have leapfrogged Girls Aloud to sit second. The gap between the sides is just a point and +3 GD. It is far from over however, as Girls Aloud finish with a match against the pointless bottom side, meaning Invisible Ladies simply have to win their match at Mawzeni if they want a chance of going up. As an extra wrinkle, Mawzeni also need three points to be safe from relegation! Automatic promotion would need a decent sized win over Mawzeni, combined with a decent sized defeat for leaders Spandex at Magic Ladies. Unlikely, but not impossible. Another lively conclusion.

Five points and a good chunk of GD clear of the drop zone meant that Menywod Maeshafn taking anything from their game at ZFK Nase Taksi would end any lingering relegation worries.
IsThatcherDeadYet’s side attempted to achieve this by hogging the ball. Where they playing for a nil-nil? If so the two first half and one second-half chance that the hosts still created must have been worrying moments for the travelling fans. However all three were unconverted as was the one chance Maeshafn had of their own. They did have the ball in the net once through Patricia Cesljar only for referee Luke Bribe to intervene.
So a draw, and with it certainty of survival in Division 6:55. That was the good news from the day. The bad was a 9-day knock suffered by young defender Katherine Barker in the first half that curtailed her involvement in this game and will impact on her ability to get vital minutes ahead of the change report in the next one as well.

Good recent form meant that the champagne was on ice ahead of Csiki Girls trip to zombies FC Pink Lions.
Ad Hoc’s side technically needed one more point to assure the title, and with it promotion, though to all practical purposes they were already there thanks to their overwhelming goal difference advantage over the chasing pack. Getting over the line in style was the aim, and it didn’t take long to be underway, Maria Morientes heading home from a corner inside 3 minutes.
This didn’t open the floodgates however as Pink Lions proved surprisingly stubborn (or was it the hangovers from last week’s unofficial promotion celebrations?) Indeed the second didn’t arrive until 73 was on the watch, Emelie Gränsmark burst through to slot home. Liberated, Saoirse McInns added a third on 79 minutes and then a fourth after 84. She would have had a late hattrick as she saw a 90th minute effort, that came from a free-kick which saw the hosts Katrin Mörk sent-off for a second booking, chalked off by the ref.
It turned out that Csiki Girls would have collected the Division 6:62 crown even in the unlikely event of them having lost this match, but winning to claim it must be so much more satisfying.