X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Antepli Ejderha]

VA, have you got any news on the merger in the Brythonnic?

[Antepli Ejderha]

Well, I've got AA-S's run of 22 games and counting without a goal to keep me entertained before I worry about cheating. As the eminent Dr would say, "it's a science experiment". My other teams are faring slightly better.

Didn't realise things had got so bad for you SDR. Zeugmaspor and the Zeugmabus have managed seven games without a goal.

[Gawpus]

Hey Kev, you'll be pleased to know Great Ouse are currently top of the league*

<sub>*division one**

**having played a game more than most of the league</sub>

[Sits]

Ooh, is Kev back?

[SouthdownRebel]

Didn't realise things had got so bad for you SDR. Zeugmaspor and the Zeugmabus have managed seven games without a goal.

It's all part of the plan Antep, we needed a drastic rebuild.

Ooh, is Kev back?

Shhh! Don't frighten him away...

[Sits]

Nice to see you on the thread Kevchenko, you'll always be welcome back whenever you want.

I've also had a look at that Fenerbahçe team, the average age of the team means they can't do too much damage but it stinks.

Yes but they can spend that cash whenever. Anyway I'm not sure whether to report it now, or let the manager keep digging for a while longer.

[Etienne]

I've looked at their official team, as before it's easier to spot dodginess there.

And I'm not sure. They buy and sell a lot, just like Cheating Fenerbahce. They sell some players for huge mark-ups, just like Cheating Fenerbahce. But I couldn't see much in the way of patterns in the buying teams unlike CF. Apart from 2 high value sales to a team called Team Schneider who haven't bought anyone else in that time. Otherwise the buying teams looked pretty legit. It may be that they are genuinely very good at spotting undervalued players. Or they may be better at hiding their tracks than CF.

[Various Artist]

Fair-minded of you Etienne to look at the alternative explanation, though indeed they may simply have slightly more nous than people who've been caught previously, and realised that if you try to do that kind of thing in the official leagues then you leave a very obvious trail – so chose to just using the private leagues' market, where there's no record of which players have gone where.

It hadn't even struck me until then that this person's teams are all called 'Fenerbahçe', just like the infamous one caught cheating in the Xpert Zone was. Surely they wouldn't be that obvious... would they? Their other PL team, also of that name, was taken over at the same time as the XZ one and has a very similar Players Out page – around 52 sold for (multi-)millions each in the last five months.

Looking at a few of their recent official-leagues transfers they're fairly clearly finding underevals, given they're selling them on at a skillbar higher after just over a month and a mere couple of appearances. So maybe it is just some preternatural ability to sniff these players out.
If it's all legit though I'm struggling to see how this works with all the players who are say 33/13s or thereabouts, as I can't see how one farms underevals of that age given that development has basically fizzled out by then. In particular I'm struggling to work out what their masterplan is for the players they've just spunked 7m on in the XZ with barely a fortnight left in the season.

[Various Artist]

VA, have you got any news on the merger in the Brythonnic?

Rmy's Football In The Park league are playing the final fixtures of their season today. The merger should be able to take place in a few days, as soon as their Change Report has gone through.

Hopefully it will all go smoothly. Mind, he messaged me a few days ago to suggest changing the league to a 1:2 system so no-one had to go through the "agonising" climb up from the Sixth or Seventh Division. I replied saying I don't want to rip up the whole structure of the league people have been carefully climbing up through for several seasons already – and also pointed out why I prefer 1:1 since most teams will have a promotion or relegation fight to think about when it's 3-up, 3-down in divisions of 10. In a 1:2:4 arrangement of 70 teams, even if I increase relegation to 4/10 per division there's only 2/10 promotion places, hence there's a good chance somewhere between 20-30 of the 40 teams in the bottom tier (or around 30-40% of the league in other words) will have nothing to play for for the greater part of each season.
He hasn't written back yet.

[Sean of the Shed]

"Not Bothered Buzzards", Sean – is that the near-opposite of Go Ahead Eagles, do I surmise? Hadn't seen the new name, I thought you were simply going to shift the Muffintime franchise.

That's the idea, the antithesis to those over-eager eagles. A different species of raptor that really couldn't give a fuck. if I could be arsed myself I would have made a better badge with a motto on it, in the spirit of Rangers badge that has 'READY' as it's motto, but in this case emblazoned with the legend 'WHATEVER'.
I had toyed with keeping the TSG Muffintime theme, but in the end I felt a new start deserved a new idea. The kit is orange as, in theory, it is a Dutch club in the same way as GAE are.
The only thing I didn't do was run the new name past fucking Brownknight to see if that cunt approved of the idea.

[caja-dglh]

Tis rather sucky to try and change the terms of a merger at the last minute.

How is X11 going? Is it still looking on its last legs?

[Etienne]

Nothing has changed that I can see.

[Wouter D]

Märkische Mädels DV report:

Pos	Name	Age	Skill	DV
GK	Darlene Irvine	33	12	10
GK	Bellini Fresi	32	8	2	*
GK	Suzanne Mattern	20	3	3	*
D	May Habib	32	9	4	*
D	Kathrin Dröge	23	10	15
D	Sophie Hipp	22	10	14
D	Yvonne Dawkins	21	8	17
MF	Elna Boustedt	34	9	5	*
MF	Hannelore Türr	30	1	2	*#
MF	Wilma Marshfield	25	10	16
MF	Elisabete Fialho	25	10	16
MF	Kathrine Leitner	25	11	14
MF	Vibeke Kusch	24	11	16
F	Maggie Longmuir	34	11	8
F	Silvia Reinhardt	31	1	2	*#
F	Sabine Zeyer	24	10	16
F	Louise Sindelar	24	10	14
F	Steffi Hardt	22	9	15

*unused
#retiring

We may need a replacement goalkeeper soon, and Maggie's DV worries me. She played every single minute this season, but this might not be enough to prevent skill drops and retirements. Nevertheless, the young ones are coming of age, so we're looking forward to a long stint in the top flight.

[Auntie Beryl]

Empire State Humans (HLC3) update:

Spend all season unexpectedly chasing promotion. Four points clear of fourth place with two to play... and my only goalie gets a long term injury. The transfer window is closed. I have no Versatile players.

Penultimate game, against Red Devilettes ahead of me in second, who is challenging for the title. We somehow get a draw, so now we're two points ahead of Supreme Ladies with one to play.

That last game is against...Supreme Ladies, at home. Lost 3-1 with a long term injury to a key midfielder.

I know this is all down to my flying too close to the wind with a small squad, and I got what I deserved, but really.

[Wouter D]

(HLC3)

TLA overload. I was confused about the Heineken League being not even remotely close to season's end, and I was mad at myself for not noticing another fellow OTFer in my division.

[Sits]

Congratulations SDR on Hammerpot WFC taking their first Human League Heavy Trophy. Great win after a fantastic stoush with Etienne's Suffragette City going for three in a row. Apologies to Etienne for potentially throwing a spanner in the works by appointing a manager to his zombified opponents. Fortunately I got away with it.

Sean I remember Brownknight as a verbose and slightly sensitive flybynight to the Human League, but what's your reference?

[Various Artist]

In the Xpert Ladies Scribble yesterday, BK queried what on earth some bloke from Staffordshire was doing running a team themed around a mythical Indonesian queen. i think he was genuinely just curious, not having a go, but Sean's initial response perhaps assumed the latter and so was a bit forthright. It's all blown over now, apologies all round and we're all best of friends there once more. Sean's even struck up a conversation about travel in SE Asia with Stunami, whom you might recall is one of the worst antagonists in the eternal Xpert Ladies sexism debate.

[Sean of the Shed]

In the Xpert Ladies Scribble yesterday, BK queried what on earth some bloke from Staffordshire was doing running a team themed around a mythical Indonesian queen. i think he was genuinely just curious, not having a go, but Sean's initial response perhaps assumed the latter and so was a bit forthright. It's all blown over now, apologies all round and we're all best of friends there once more. Sean's even struck up a conversation about travel in SE Asia with Stunami, whom you might recall is one of the worst antagonists in the eternal Xpert Ladies sexism debate.

There was nothing about BK's post that gave me the impression that he was curious, it just looked critical. he then apologised for how it came across, so I issued one of my own so he didn't end up looking the better man, which he isn't. As for Stunami I replied out of courtesy as he had directed his post directly at me. I ain't about to become BFFs with some twat who calls his team 'Fat Chicks United'. Anyway he lives in Australia, so Sits can have him.

[Etienne]

I'm not sure he was criticising either, but it could easily be read that way. Given that his team name references an English side, it's a bit of a failure of the imagination for him to wonder why it couldn't be a two way street.

[Sits]

Tinypic is playing up today, so I will spare you the screenshot and tell you that Les Sangliers' DVs are very much a mixed bag, with too many 14s amongst the younger players.

Meanwhile, fuck off X11:

Aires Roma has been contacted by people in Hollywood who have heard of his fabulous play-acting on the pitch. They are convinced he has a brilliant future as an actor and have invited the player to Universal Studios for an audition and he will therefore be away for a few days.

So he has an X next to him and cannot play the next two games. and there are only three left. Now, Noirs de Bigorre are already relegated, and it would have been far worse when we were challengers. But he's our best player, Maybe Sheffield FC and Paris St Germain got one too. Oh, he also doesn't have Actor/Cheat, although he is a Cock.

[Wouter D]

Märkische Mädels change report:

Pos	Name	Age	Skill	DV	+/-
GK	Darlene Irvine	33	12	10
GK	Bellini Fresi	32	8	2	-	*
GK	Suzanne Mattern	20	3	3	-	*
D	May Habib	32	9	4	-	*#
D	Kathrin Dröge	23	10	15	+
D	Sophie Hipp	22	10	14	+
D	Yvonne Dawkins	21	8	17	+
MF	Elna Boustedt	34	9	5	-	*#
MF	Wilma Marshfield	25	10	16	+
MF	Elisabete Fialho	25	10	16	+
MF	Kathrine Leitner	25	11	14
MF	Vibeke Kusch	24	11	16	+
F	Maggie Longmuir	34	11	8
F	Sabine Zeyer	24	10	16	+
F	Louise Sindelar	24	10	14
F	Steffi Hardt	22	9	15	+

*unused
#retiring

No doubles. Still quite content with that.

[Antepli Ejderha]

We've moved to games, cheers Snake

[Wouter D]

Yeah baby! Cup quarter final for IKK! Just three more games until glory...

[MortalJoe]

Just wanted to write my first time in the new forum, looks good.n I do not want to write about the change report of Chapelizod Hornets in The Human League, to be honest I am a bit disappointed.

When I checked out my next opponent in the third round in the Major League Cup I came across his last cup game. I have seen 7-0 or 8-0 wins, but this is the first time I have seen a team scoring 9 goals in one game.

http://xperteleven.com/cupGameDetail...GameID=2804734

[Various Artist]

Bastards. I've only ever seen it once before, Joe, but of course I was hoping while watching my Ultimate League Cup games last Friday and today – we won both 8-0 but couldn't find that ninth goal... Still, a 16-0 aggregate win is a new club record.

Got automatically sacked from Sandringham Park Rovers overnight, having not been keeping up with X11 for a couple of days, not watched Wednesday's last match of the Human League season and forgotten to buy more quota before the season update. Had to pay through the nose for more quota to get the team back this evening. No screengrab to post, naturally, but DV was pretty rubbish so nothing to write home about from the Change Report.
Incidentally, Sits, I found TinyPic was playing up all the time the other week – so gave up on it and started an Imgur account instead.